by L A Cotton
“Stop.” My voice was steady, unwavering as I watched Jackson’s eyes widen.
It was unusual to see Jackson like this—so unguarded. And my chest ached even more with the realization that this was a glimpse of my Jackson.
“What are you doing here, Jackson?”
His eyes narrowed, and he closed the distance between us. My body instinctively pressed into the headboard, but I ignored the rapid beating of my heart.
“I had to know that you were okay.” He remained at the foot of the bed, staring at me.
“You could have texted.”
He sighed, raking a hand through his damp hair, and I wondered if it was raining out. “I had to see you.”
“Why?”
The room filled with our silence and we stared each other. We were on the precipice of something. I could feel it.
Jackson inched closer until his legs touched the edge of the bed. “Because I had to know that you were okay, that nothing had happened to you.”
I closed my eyes, inhaling a deep breath. When I opened them again, I looked directly at him. “Why?”
His eyes narrowed as if he was trying to figure me out. “You know why, Ana.”
“Say it.”
“Because I love you. There, I fucking said it. Is that enough for you? Can we stop playing these games now?”
“GAMES? You think I’m playing a game? Me?” I yelled, tears of frustration brimming in my eyes. "I'm not the one cuddling up to beautiful girls, playing happy family with him," I spat out.
Jackson flinched like I'd physically hurt him but quickly recovered, his green eyes darkening. "And what about Cormack? Don't try to tell me that you two are just friends. I've seen how you are together, Ana."
He has?
"Paul is my friend. He's been there for me." I met his severe glare with my own.
"Friends? Bullshit."
Anger descended over me and all I could see was red. How dare he turn things on me? After everything. Before I could take them back, the words tumbled out. "Fine. You want the truth? That night I saw you leave the party with that girl, I kissed him. Paul. I. Kissed. Him," I screamed, panting for breath as I let out my frustrations.
Jackson didn't move. He didn't flinch. He just watched me, but I didn’t have time to collect my thoughts or consider how to fix things as Jackson pounced on the bed bringing his face level with mine. “Why are you so worked up, Ana?”
“Stop calling me Ana.”
He inched closer, and I could feel the warmth of his breath on the face. “Why, Ana?”
I pounded my hands on his chest, but he was like a wall of solid, unmovable abs.
“Why, Ana? Why are you so worked up? Say it. Tell me.”
“Tell you what?” I snapped back, my control slowly slipping.
“Tell me you’re in love with me. Say the words.”
“You bastard,” I cried, but my sobs were muffled as Jackson’s lips came down on mine, hard and demanding.
At first I resisted, but Jackson’s hand looped around my neck, drawing me near, capturing me, and my body started to relax against him. My own body was betraying me again. Jackson shifted us so that I was lying down on the bed, and I did nothing. He had cast his spell and I was completely and utterly under his thrall.
We melted into one another as his lips traced the outline of my jaw down to my collarbone, causing flutters to explode in my stomach, and a rush of warmth spread through me. Threading my fingers into his hair, I guided him to the neck of my tank top, and he tucked one hand underneath, gently caressing my stomach, and before I knew it he had stripped me of my top and was feathering kisses along the curve of my bra. Jackson continued to praise my bare skin with his lips, nudging my legs further apart to rest between them, his weight bearing down on me and making me feel. Feelings I’d locked tightly away started to surface and I gulped down the tears brimming in my eyes.
His hands continued sweeping up my sides, sending shivers rippling through me, and my legs clasped around his waist, pulling him closer. I needed him closer. He grinned against my skin, pressing into my center causing a soft moan to escape my lips.
“I’ve missed this. Us,” he murmured into the crook of my neck. “Please. Say it, I need to hear you say it.”
My fingers gripped his shoulders and he stilled. What was wrong with me? How could I keep letting him do this to me?
“Ana, what is it? What’s wrong? Don’t you want to?” His eyes searched mine, and I shook my head, pushing him off me.
“And then what, Jackson?” I rolled from underneath him and pushed up off the bed, clutching at my tank in an attempt to cover myself. “I declare my love, we have sex, and everything is okay? Or everything stays exactly the same?”
He moved to a sitting position and tipped his head to the side, considering my words.
“You accuse me of playing games? You’re the one playing games, Jackson. You left me. You walked away from me. But you won’t let me go. It isn’t fair. You can’t have me but not have me. I deserve more. I deserve to be someone’s everything."
Jackson rose to his feet, muttering something under his breath as he started to pace up and down. “Ana, someone pulled a trigger tonight. At the game. A gun, Ana. Do you understand that? A fucking gun!”
“I know it’s dangerous. I know you think you’re protecting me, but nothing has changed. I’m still in danger, or so you tell me.” I gasped, trying to catch a breath. “All that’s changed is us. There is no us. Not until you choose. One or the other. Them or me. But not both, Jackson. I can’t keep doing this. I won’t. We can't keep hurting each other like this."
The words hung between us, stifling and suffocating. Our eyes locked on the others, but Jackson didn't say a word.
Looking over to the window, I finally broke the painful silence. "You should go.”
Before I beg you to stay.
Chapter 16
~JACKSON~
I wanted to go to her and make her believe me. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to make Ana understand, but her eyes kept me back. Those big browns cutting right through me. Before the game, I had never intended on coming over to see her, but when the first shot rang out all I could think was Ana, get to Ana. All I could see was her face. Even with all the screaming and jostling as Coach and security herded us back into the locker room, I could only think of Ana.
The second we were allowed to head back to the house, I managed to sneak away. I was not sure anyone would have been able to stop me anyway. I had to see her with my own eyes. To make sure she was okay. It was a turning point—the not knowing if she was safe, or lying hurt somewhere, or caught up in the crush at the stadium.
It was ironic really that standing here now, Ana was issuing me an ultimatum because before I even arrived at her dorm room, I knew I would choose her. I’d known the minute the first shot fired. I didn't know what that meant yet, but Ana was my choice. And fuck if it wasn't like a moment of clarity.
I moved toward the window but paused turning back to her. Even if it didn't change anything, she deserved to know.
"I choose you."
She didn't flinch. Her soulful eyes didn't soften or speak to me. Her features didn't relax. Ana remained distant and poised. Her walls were well and truly reinforced, and something inside of me shattered.
But I refused to believe that was it. It couldn't be.
"Are you listening? You are my choice, Ana. You. It will take time, I need you to give me time to sort things out, but I will.” My eyes narrowed at her, trying to convey how serious I was. “I promise. I will find a way for us to be together." As I said the words, I felt lifted. Free. Now all I needed was a plan because I was not going to lose Ana for a second time.
Ana remained silent, but I didn't miss the slight flash in her eyes. I had surprised her. And good. I needed her to believe my every word so she had something to hang onto while I put things in order. Because making my choice and living by it were two different things right now.
/> I felt her eyes on me as I hoisted myself through the gap in her window. She hadn't said a word. Nothing; silence was her only response. But I had said my piece—I had laid out all my cards.
Now I just had to hope she would wait.
~
“So, it was one of Calder’s guys?” Dennis pushed off the wall and came to join me on the beat up sofa.
“Who else was it going to be?” Braiden hissed, his icy stare focused on nothing in particular. He was pissed.
Kyler dropped down next to him and clasped an arm around Braiden’s back. “How’d the old man take it?”
“The old man almost burst a vessel. He was about as happy as Principal Kellar that someone rocked up to the game with a gun. Campus is on lockdown, no one in, no one out. This shit is getting out of control.”
I grunted low in my throat, louder than intended, and Braiden’s head whipped around in my direction. “Got something to say?”
“What did you expect was going to happen after the stunt you pulled on their turf? Calder was just waiting for the red flag and you stormed in there waving it right under his nose. This is on you, Braid, and you know it.”
The room fell silent, all heads turned to us. I’d overstepped the mark—even more so given our relationship of late. But Braiden had to be held accountable and, besides, I was done bowing down to him.
I just had to bide my time.
Braiden didn’t take his eyes off me as the vein in his neck started to throb. I’d hit a nerve, but more than that, I had called him out in front of the inner circle.
“The fuck, bro? He had it coming to him after what he pulled at the handover. And besides, it was all for show. A message. If they’d planned to hurt me, I wouldn’t be standing here now would I?”
My teeth ground together. He was fucking unbelievable, trying to play down what had happened. “And what now? We go over to Reibeckitt armed and ready to pull the trigger? Where. Does. It. End?”
Someone sucked in a breath to my left and I figured it was probably Shaun. He didn’t like the serious shit. He was more the life and soul of the party.
Braiden pushed off the bench and started pacing up and down, dragging a hand through his hair. “Fuck!”
“Chill man, we’re locked down. Nothing is going to happen until your dad and his guys give the okay. It gives us times to plan our next move.” Kyler nodded as he spoke like he was reassuring himself that he was saying the right thing.
Douche.
“May as well take advantage of all those vulnerable pussies. Party at the house?” Shaun grinned, rubbing his Levi’s for effect.
“Now is not the time to be thinking with your dick, dick.” Dennis grunted.
Braiden stopped and turned to the rest of us, an indecipherable expression on his face. “Actually, I think that’s the best fucking idea anyone’s had all night. Party at the house. We need to save face and reassure the masses. Dad will love it and it might smooth things over a little.”
It was the worst plan I’d heard, but it could work to my advantage.
“Let’s do it,” I said.
Dennis cocked an eyebrow in my direction and I discreetly shook my head hoping he would understand my message while Shaun, Kyler, and Travis whooped. Some of the tension left the room and the guys started making the necessary preparations.
Two hours later, the house was crowded. The beat of the music throbbed through the house and students wasted no time drinking away their shock at the earlier events. Enough rumors were going around to keep everyone guessing about what had really happened at Lowe Stadium, but those students with their eyes open to recent events knew the real story. But as the night went on, talk of the gunman at the game turned to drunken ramblings. And soon, everyone forgot that trouble was right around the corner.
“So what was that all about?” Dennis stepped up beside me as I watched the party going on down below.
I turned so that my back was resting against the second floor balcony railing, scanning the hallway for signs of anyone being nearby. “Can I trust you?”
His brow furrowed. “You know you can.”
"I want out."
There, I'd said it.
Dennis laughed, but when he realized I wasn't laughing along with him, it got caught in his throat and he started to choke. Slamming a hand to his chest, he barked, "You're serious?"
I nodded.
"Well, fuck me sideways. You know he won't let you walk away, right? Especially not over her."
I closed my eyes picturing Ana's face as she gave me the ultimatum, and then opened them to face Dennis. "How'd you know?"
He lifted his shoulders in a slight shrug. "Things haven't been the same since you were knifed. Just didn't actually think you'd have the balls."
A strangled laugh rose up in my throat as the severity of what we were talking about hit me. "I'm not sure I do."
"Rather you than me, man. So what's the plan?"
"I'm not sure yet, but this thing with Calder has everyone's attention and I'm thinking I could use it to my advantage."
"And Marcus?"
My head hung low. Uncle Marcus was a different matter. Braiden wouldn't let me walk away without a fight, but Marcus, well, I had no clue what to expect there. But he had given me his blessing once so I was hoping to appeal to his softer side...when the time came.
"I love her. Somehow, she wormed her way in and she won't fucking leave. I'm done fighting it or thinking I'm doing the right thing by not being with her. If I have to choose, I choose Ana. And I'm prepared to deal with the fallout."
Dennis blew out a long breath. "Fuck, the shit is about to hit the fan. Braiden will lose his shit when he finds out you’re choosing her. He doesn’t like to lose, you know that.”
One of the guys interrupted us, arm draped around his latest conquest. "Pierce, Dennis. Enjoy the rest of the party, fellas. I know I will." He laughed as he led the girl away from us toward his room.
"You can't breathe a word of this. Promise me."
"Man, I do not want to be the one to spill this. Your secret’s safe with me."
"I appreciate it."
Because, right now, I needed all the friends I could get.
~
"Daddy, dumb and dumber have got to go. They're following me around like a bad smell, and it's totally ruining my cred." Briony pouted and Braiden stretched back next to me still hungover from the night before, laughing at his sister.
"Briony Marie," Uncle Marcus barked. "Larry and Brian are Peter's best men. They won't get in the way. They are paid to blend in. Don't fight me on this."
Defeated, Briony sank into the chair opposite and scowled. Her eyes flickered to mine, but she immediately darted them away. After the mixer, she was still giving me the cold shoulder, which was fine by me. It meant I didn't have to put up with her constant flirting.
"How much longer are you going to keep the place locked down? Students will start asking questions."
Marcus rose and came to join us. "As long as it takes to gather intel. We know Declan is supporting that crazed nephew of his on this now. The truce is through." His head dropped and I saw the regret in his eyes. "Things will be different now. Chastity Falls won't be safe until they're out of the picture."
Silence fell around us and the hairs at the back of my head electrified, standing to attention. No one said a word, but I was pretty sure we all knew what Uncle Marcus meant—the Calder’s were becoming an increasing threat to the town, and threats had to be taken care of. One way or another.
Braiden clasped his hands together, breaking the tension. "’Bout time. Those fucks need to pay. Especially Cole."
"Braiden, I'm warning you. Do not interfere. From here on out, I will handle this. Not you. Do you understand?"
The glass shattered as it collided with the wall and Braiden jumped up out of the seat. "This is a joke and you know it. I deserve in. Deserve payback. I DESERVE FUCKING RETRIBUTION."
Fury burned across Uncle Marcus' face, but Braid
en didn't hang around to listen to whatever was about to come. He rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
A tear escaped Briony's eye, surprising me. The ice queen had feelings after all.
"Go after him, Daddy, in case he does something reckless."
Marcus wrapped his daughter in his arms and whispered soothing noises into her untamed hair. "Don't worry about him, baby girl, he'll come around. Jackson." His eyes met mine across the table and I nodded.
I was on babysitting duty. Again.
I found Braiden back at Fallen House beating the shit out of the bag in the small room that had been modified into a gym.
"Look what the cat dragged in. The old man send you?" he said, focusing on the bag as his fists pounded into the leather.
"He's worried. We all are."
Braiden made a clicking noise in his throat. "Yeah, I'm sure you're just sick with worry, bro."
Not wanting to get into it with him, I didn't reply and headed into the kitchen where some of the guys were gathered.
"What's up with him?" Jason asked, handing me a beer.
"Family business." I gave the usual response.
"Always is, man, always is. Any word on how long we'll be locked down for?"
I shrugged and gave him a non-committal answer. It was the truth, I didn't know.
"Shit sucks, if you ask me," Nicky called from the table where he was stuffing his mouth with a taco.
"No one did ask you." Jason threw a bottle cap at Nicky's head and it collided with his spiked hair.
"Ah, shit. What the fuck, man?"
They guys around me laughed, but I didn't join them. There was too much swimming around in my head to see the funny side of anything.
Dennis appeared in the doorway and beckoned me over. I said goodbye to the guys and walked straight past Dennis into the hallway. "Yeah?"
"Thought you could do with a little time-out." His brow wiggled like I was supposed to know what the hell he was talking about.
"Say what?"
"I can cover for you; you know if you have more important places to be?"
