Lily: Captive to the Dark

by Alaska Angelini

  Master’s arm came to rest on the back of the sofa and he leaned his head against his fist. The muscle in his bicep flexed for the briefest moment and I took in the swirl of tribal just below his elbow. When he spoke, I had to make myself focus through the lust that roared. Damn, his arms were so much bigger than before.

  “I think it’s a great idea to start your own company, Lilian. But, I think it’s best to stay for the two to three years that you mentioned. Maybe even five. The more experience you have, the better. And what if by then you don’t want to take the risk? It’s best to know for sure. And no, I don’t think Slade would be the least bit upset. If anyone knows the need to create something and see it flourish, it’s your brother. I think he’d be very proud of you.”

  “You’re right. I’m only beginning in this field. Just because I’m good at it doesn’t mean I’m anywhere near accomplished enough to take on such a task. Experience will be key.”

  His hand reached out and took mine. “And so will support. I’ll back you no matter what decision you make. I may rule over certain things, but I will never stop you from accomplishing your goals. My job is to make sure you succeed. I’ll do everything I can to see that it happens.”

  “Thank you.” I drew his hand to my lips and placed a kiss on his knuckles. He had no idea what hearing him say that meant to me. Or maybe he did.

  “You’re very welcome.”

  Tenderness was mixed in the grin he gave. My pulse jumped and I felt like a schoolgirl all over again. There was something about my Master. Whether he was happy, disciplining me, or having moments like this one, my body reacted to every single one. A heavy heat whirled in my heart and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. It was rare that I saw this side of him and when I had, it seemed like forever ago.

  “What about you? What does your future entail?”

  Zain picked up a lock of my hair and twisted it around his finger. “You. Whatever your plans are, I’ll change mine to fit them. If you want to stay at Slade Industries, so will I. If you want to own a business, you have me to lean on. Whether it’s an accountant you need, an IT Manager, a partner, or a bodyguard, I’ll be whatever you want. Just say the word and I’m yours.”

  My body trembled from adrenaline as I took him in. The dark T-shirt left his eyes practically glowing, and he was so serious, yet caring, as he looked at me. Love…yes, he loved me. “Will you say it again, Master?”

  “Just say the word?”

  I shook my head. “No, the end part.”

  “I’m yours?” His lips separated and he reached forward, pulling me onto his lap. “You know I’m yours, baby girl. I have been from the moment I laid eyes on you. I’ve said I love you probably a hundred times since I got you back. I’ll say it a hundred-thousand times more if that’s what you need.”

  “Will you hold me?”

  To have his arms around me was something I craved. I wanted to feel safe. To forget about everything I’d been through the last few weeks. I couldn’t deny I was still shaken. With the days that passed came the reality of what I’d undergone. It was all sinking in and leaving me an exhausted mess on the inside. And I knew my Master could see it. It was probably why he hadn’t unleashed any of his secret desires.

  “Keep talking to me. Tell me what else you want out of the future?” His arms pulled me in and locked around, holding extra tight. I felt my body relax and mold into his.

  “I want what most people do. A home. A family. I want traditions of big Thanksgiving gatherings with friends and family. And a dog that can be raised with my children. I want to be happy.”

  His hand rubbed up my back slowly. “That sounds like the perfect life. It would be nice to have a home to come back to at the end of the day. A real home. Not a penthouse or an apartment building. I want a yard with a swing set. Maybe a barbeque pit.” He paused for so long, I almost lifted. “My step father, Jeff, used to barbeque all the time. I remember waking up to the smell after I was taken. It was a phantom smell, but the memory left an impact. I missed my parents so much at the beginning. I never want our children to have to experience a single ounce of the pain we’ve been through.”

  My fingers gripped his shirt and I wasn’t sure if it was because he used our, or the fact that we were talking about children after we’d already lost one. I hadn’t been able to save our child then, and it wasn’t from lack of trying. In my mind, I’d failed, in more ways than one. I put my unborn baby’s life in danger to help a slave and we paid the ultimate price for my mistake.

  “Lilian?” Zain’s hands gripped my cheeks as he pulled me back to look at him. I couldn’t stop the swell of tears. Would it ever get easier? “Don’t,” he whispered. “It wasn’t your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself.” I didn’t have to ask how he knew what I was thinking. Zain knew me better than anyone.

  “It was my fault. I should have known better. If I hadn’t gone that time—” The sob cut off my words. I tried to hide my face in his chest, but he wouldn’t let me.”

  “Listen to me. You didn’t know Saul would hurt you. He’d been told not to. He had orders and he disobeyed them. Had I believed he would go against my father’s wishes, I would have never allowed you to continue to help those girls. You are more important to me than anyone. We both learned a hard lesson that day, so no more blaming yourself. If anyone is at fault, it’s me. I could have locked you in. I could have ordered you to stay put, but I didn’t.”

  The pad of his thumb slid across my cheek, wiping the tears.

  “Nothing will replace the loss of our first child, baby. Nothing. But I promise you this. My uncle will pay. And when he’s gone and we decide to have more children, we will love and cherish what it means to create life. Every time we look into our child’s eyes, we’ll know how lucky we are to be blessed. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” I said, sniffling.

  “Good. Now, no more tears. Our past is full of pain, but our future won’t be. Let’s focus on that.”

  Master eased me back to his chest. The fast beating of his heart soothed me. I let it take over my consuming thoughts completely as I closed my eyes and tried to push away the hurt—a pain I knew would probably never go away. Minutes went by while my hair was stroked and soon, I found myself drifting between sleep and consciousness. With each breath he took, I disappeared from reality. Grotesque flashes of blood, mangled body parts of slaves, and evil men played before me like a slideshow. Even though I tried to ignore them, I couldn’t shut out what had plagued me now for years, or the new horrors I saw. Jonathon. Alec dead on the table. Knives and guns aplenty. I tried reaching for something to protect me, but everything was too far away.

  My nightmare opened up like a black hole, swallowing me until I couldn’t breathe past the black masked men whose fingers raked against my skin, clawing to rip off my clothes.

  “I’m going to make you pay, Lily. You’re going to die just like I did. Just like my father and brothers. Alec wouldn’t be dead now if it weren’t for you.”

  I screamed, trying my best to fight off his weight. My eyes widened as his face morphed from Jonathon’s to Alec’s.

  “You killed me, Lily. It was all your fault.”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I didn’t mean to.”

  “But you did!” he yelled, grabbing my wrists harder. “Now, you’ll pay. I want you. Come be with me. Stay with me forever. You owe me.”

  All I could do was plead no, repeatedly. My arms pushed against his, but I wasn’t budging him. Something warm dripped onto my face and the blood starting to pour from his mouth had me screaming. Drip. Drip. The steady splashes made me go wild. My hips jerked while I tried to knock him off of me.

  “Lilian!” Master’s roar had me jumping awake. My fingers dug into his sides as I tried to get closer. “Shh. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

  Fingers through my hair became evident, and my nose running had my eyes blinking from the horrified wideness they were stuck in. With a swipe of my hand, I noticed how we
t my face really was. Had I been crying? I lifted my head only to come within view of my Master’s sad expression.

  “You’re getting worse as the days go by. Even I can’t seem to break through your nightmares anymore.”

  I’d hoped that having Zain at my side would make them go away like they had at the beginning, but each night they returned. And they were only getting more graphic and stronger.

  “It’s only been a few days.”

  His eyes studied mine intently. “Perhaps we should go back and get you help. This was a bad idea. After being taken again, I should have known things weren’t just going to change because I was in the picture. You need help, baby. Help that I can’t provide.”

  “I don’t want to go back yet. We came here for a reason. You—”

  “Will do what’s best for you,” he said, interrupting. “If we continue down this road, I don’t think it’ll do any good. If anything, it will probably make matters worse. Tying you up, using my tools on you.” He opened his mouth, only to stop. “Amongst a lot more fucked up things…it’s too close to what you’ve been through. We may enjoy them in the moment, but this,” he said, pointing at my head, “isn’t ready to take something that significant yet. Let’s go home, get you to your doctor, and we’ll take things one day at a time.”

  Everything in me wanted to argue. We’d come so far with my training. I knew his kinks were right on the edge of being revealed…and now this? One nightmare during the day and I everything I’d waited for was getting ripped away? I felt like a piece of myself was missing out on discovering the foundation of who Zain was. I needed to see what he wanted for us. I also knew he was right. I wasn’t sure I could truly handle how dark he wanted to go.

  “So, we postpone the heavy stuff? What about when we go back? I won’t get to be with you like I want. I need you there with me.”

  He sighed. “I won’t go against your brother’s wishes. To do that would ruin any chance of peace or happiness within your family. Plus, I’ll only be a phone call away. When you have a bad dream or feel like you need me, let me know. I’ll come over and put you back to sleep. I don’t see Slade objecting to that.”

  “Do we have to leave right now? Can’t we have one or two more nights? Maybe the nightmares will go away.”

  Skepticism weighed heavily in his features as he stared at me. I knew he was battling with what was right and what we both wanted.

  Knocking on the door caused me to jump. I clutched him as we both looked to where the sound had come from. Fuck, I hadn’t meant to show fear, but I’d been caught off guard by whoever decided to interrupt us. As Zain stood, placing me on the cushion, I could see he was unnerved.

  “If you have a nightmare tonight, we leave first thing in the morning.”

  His back turned and he headed for the door. The tray of food that was wheeled in had me calming. I knew there wasn’t anything to be afraid of anymore, but the jittery feeling just wouldn’t pass. Is this what I had to look forward to now? Paranoia, dependency on guards and my Master? I’d come so fucking far from the first time. To the point where I was ready to drop my protection and live on my own. Now, this?

  I had to get my strength back. Not only to deal with the life I had accomplished with my career, but for myself. I would be going back into my routine soon enough and I’d be damned if anyone saw me any differently. Saw me as…weak. I was Lilian Roberts, CEO of Slade Industries. It was time I started acting like it.

  Chapter 30

  Zain

  How do you fix something that may be broken? By first impressions, one wouldn’t see Lily as damaged goods. Even now, I didn’t view her as such. But my slave wasn’t okay. Not even close. She classified them as just nightmares, but she didn’t see what I did. Didn’t hear the blood curdling screams that broke the silence in the dead of night. Her pleas and the complete agony in her tone left my skin clammy. She didn’t realize what hearing her most feared state did to me,. It was as if she was undergoing torture and there was no one for me to kill, to save her from. It fucking destroyed me. How in the hell was I supposed to fight off the demons in her mind? By being here? Supporting her? Fuck, that wasn’t enough.

  “You’re not eating.”

  My slave’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and I looked up from the full plate of food, dazed. I couldn’t get over the desperation I heard as she thrashed in my arms. To know how bad off her mind was…how truly afraid she was. God dammit. I felt helpless.

  “Sorry, I was thinking.”

  “About going home.” It wasn’t a question. She knew what was on my mind. Although, there was something she didn’t know. I didn’t have a home anymore. Not the one that she assumed I’d be going back to. It wasn’t safe. Not after everything that went down with my father. He had contacts, people who could possibly come looking for me. They’d have that address if my uncles had anything to do with it. Besides, I may have had a lot of money tucked away, but I wasn’t naïve to the fact that I couldn’t afford to live that life for long without having a job. Especially if I wanted to buy a home and still have a good amount in savings. Yes, Slade was going to provide one, but I didn’t take handouts. I didn’t want my salary to be any different than what everyone else in my department got paid.

  I pushed the fork under the mashed potatoes and took a bite, nodding. When I swallowed, I looked back up. “Has to happen.”

  She remained quiet as we finished off our meal. The sun was beginning set and I dreaded the late hours. So far, she’d had these dreams every night. I had no doubt one would haunt her again.

  I stood, walking over to help her up. The disappointment was there and I felt it within myself, too. It wasn’t about feeling upset because I wasn’t enough to help her. Lilian was a victim of two tragic kidnappings. One would have sent anyone over the edge to where they might never truly recover. But, two abductions? I was scared for the woman I loved.

  “Go jump in the shower. We can cuddle in bed when you get out. Maybe we’ll find a movie on.”

  “I like the sound of that.” The grin that came to her face was forced. She walked to the drawer and pulled out clothes before shutting herself in the restroom. I immediately reached for my phone. The moment the water turned on, I hit Slade’s number. Two rings sounded before he answered.

  “Hello?”

  My pulse thumped hard in my chest as I began to pace. “I think we’re going to head back in the morning.”

  He hesitated and the sound of humming could be heard in the background, no doubt from Mary. “What’s happened?”

  “Nothing you need to be overly worried about. It’s just…Lily’s nightmares. They’re getting out of control. I want her looked at.”

  “Shit.” Slade breathed out deeply. “I was wondering how she was doing.”

  “During the day, she seems okay. I see little things that show me she’s thinking not so pleasant thoughts. She’s jumpy. Gets agitated rather quickly at times. Other than that, she holds herself together well. It’s the night that worries me.” I stopped. “No, it’s when she sleeps that I know she’s not okay. She fell asleep earlier and had a really bad one. Full blown fighting while she was out.”

  Footsteps sounded over the connection, and then clicking.

  “I’m going to email her doctor now. I’ll let her know that Lily will be coming to see her in the next day or so. They’re probably going to want to put her back on meds. My sister isn’t going to be too happy about that.”

  Subconsciously, I shook my head. “There’s nothing she can do. If they help, she needs to take them.”

  “Agreed.” Slade’s typing filtered through, but he didn’t stop talking. “Thank you for letting me know. And for doing what’s best for her. I know you had plans to get reacquainted up there and you could have done the fucked up thing and kept her until your time ran out, but you didn’t. That means a lot to me. It shows me that you’re looking out for what’s best for my sister. I respect that.”

  I headed for the balcony, pushing the
door open to overlook the garden. The cold evening air cut right through the long-sleeved button up shirt I wore, but it was the least of my worries as I let the dilemma play out in my mind. “I love her. I’ll do whatever I can to make sure she’s at her best. Mentally, physically…whatever it is.”

  “I can see that. I’m glad I wasn’t wrong about you.” The clicking stopped and more footsteps returned. “Take care of Lily. I’ll see the two of you tomorrow.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Just as I went to pull the phone back to disconnect, my name came back through.

  “Zain?”

  “Yes, Slade?”

  “When are you planning to deal with your other family?”

  The question turned my stomach. The reminder wasn’t something I wanted to think about. “The sooner, the better. I want my focus to be solely on Lily. I think I’ll stay until after her appointment so I know where she stands and then I’ll leave her in your care until I return. I shouldn’t be gone more than two to three days.”

  “You’re taking Blake, correct?”

  My hand rubbed against my rough cheek as I contemplated. It would be easier for me to get in and out without worrying about someone else. He had a wife. I’d feel responsible if something happened to him. He didn’t know the layout of the house like I did. But I wasn’t stupid to think I could do it alone either.

  “Zain?”

  “Yeah,” I breathed out. “I’ll take him. Only him, though. It’s going to be dangerous. I can’t risk putting anyone else’s life in jeopardy.”

  “Understood. Blake’s good. I’ve been looking over the information Gaige provided for me. Together, you’re both in good hands. I know you’ll look out for each other.”

  If only I was as confident as he was. What lay beneath that roof was a handful of killers who were almost as good as me. They’d be waiting. Ready for my attack. The odds weren’t in our favor.

  “Thanks. I’ll see you soon.”

  As I disconnected, I hoped what Slade said was true. I knew Blake’s reputation, I just prayed it lived up to the hype when shit really hit the fan.