The Walls of Levi

by Kristy Marie

  This look and demeanor is different. It’s all earned. It’s all fought for. I like it.

  I ponder the words I heard earlier, as they make their way past me. Isle of Man? I’ve always wanted to go. Could this be the year that I throw caution to the wind and do something that I want to do? Damn the consequences?

  It may be.

  Chapter 3

  Levi

  You know that part in the song, Turn The Page by Metallica, right before the drummer shows out?

  Those four beats of silence…

  That’s what it feels like right before the light turns green on the track, right before I jerk the throttle back on my Suzuki and put my feet on the pegs.

  I’m sitting at the go line. The hired rider next to me looked nervous before he put his helmet on. He just glanced at me. I would have loved to have gotten inside his head, but after I saw his eyes, there wasn’t really any point.

  I lay down on my bike and take a look down the track, into the nothing that is waiting for me. The glow of the red light is holding me in place. I count the four beats and the light turns green. With that, I pull the throttle back on my GSXR, take off, and put my feet on the pegs. I completely let my intuition take over.

  This.

  This right here.

  This is what I live for.

  This is what I love to do.

  This feeling of splitting through the air. It’s a high. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It feels like flying even when I’m still, literally, on the ground. This is always what I need. It’s all I need.

  However, this time, like many times before, I get lost to the dark. I feel myself slip, so I pull the throttle back more and I feel the bike cut loose. No amount of speed is keeping the darkness away though. I go even faster. I still can’t shake it. It’s not following me. It’s riding with me.

  I get to the end of the track and pull my hand off the gas. I make my turn to head back to the starting line. I don’t know if I won. In this moment, I don’t care. I’m doing my best to shake myself out of the self-doubt and the deep hole I’ve fell into.

  “Shit,” I mutter as I get closer to my team. They are going to know something happened. I can’t hide from them.

  I get back and pull my helmet off, I see Ron and I know he knows. I almost feel ashamed, but it isn’t something I can help, and I know that. He knows that too.

  “That was one hell of a race, boy.” Ron slaps me on the back while he takes my helmet from me. I look around and finally notice the crowd. They are chanting my name. I look back at Ron and he has a small smile on his face.

  “Did this have anything to do with the money man?” Ron asks.

  I shake my head. I don’t really know where the darkness came from. It’s not something that happens often anymore, and to be honest, I’m not having a hard time right now. Life is good. I’ve been in the light and I’m thriving.

  “Are you ok?” Ron is keeping his voice down, but I can hear the concern.

  I don’t want to talk to him about it, but I know I need to. I don’t do well with feelings. I can help others with theirs. I just can’t talk about my own.

  When my feelings are questioned, I usually go running.

  I take a deep breath and then look at Ron. “I don’t know what happened man. I was in the race, zoned out. Then the darkness settled on top of me. I snapped out of it when I reached the end, and I was all good. I feel like I’m ok, but the thoughts, the feelings, everything came out of nowhere. It came fast too.”

  I look around us to make sure no one is listening in to our conversation.

  “What do you need?”

  I smirk at him.

  He laughs loudly and shakes his head. “Ok. We will find a donut shop that is open after we leave here.”

  I give him a full smile then.

  We make our way over to the other racer and his team. The money man is giving me a death stare and I could care less. He owes me money. That’s all I care about getting from him.

  “James,” he says with a snarl.

  “Sir.” There is no need to call him by name. I owe him nothing. I’m respecting him by not calling him the names I call him in my head.

  “Here.” He slaps a roll of bills in my outstretched hand. I curl my fingers around the money and give him a nod. I do the same to the rider, then Ron and I take our leave. There is nothing left here for me. It’s time I get home and get some sleep.

  “You ok now?”

  “I think so. I will be.” Ron nods at my answer and we head into my trailer where Dale is double checking the straps on my bike.

  “We good to go, Dale?”

  “Yea, man. That was a hell of a race. Are you ok?” Dale knows me as well as Ron does.

  “I’m ok. I went to the dark for a little bit, but I’m in the light now. Ron here is taking me for donuts, so there’s that.”

  Dale chuckles and slaps me on the back.

  “Good to hear man. Congrats on the win. Looks like Mr. Deep Pockets won’t be messing with you anymore.”

  “I sure hope not. I’m tired of his mouth.”

  ~

  True to his word, Ron takes me for donuts to make me feel better. Donuts center me, as well as a whole pack of Oreos. Don’t judge.

  I order several donuts, all different kinds, and then wait. I’m that kind of dude.

  “What time are you heading to Mississippi on Sunday?” Ron ask, while taking a huge bite of his strawberry filled donut.

  I was born and raised in a really small town north of here. I grew up with shitty parents, but I found my ‘family’ despite everything. After graduation and everything settled down, we all moved to the next town over to live. We had to get away from everything in our hometown. Conerly, MS is a little bit bigger than my hometown, and the community has a lot going for it. There are tons of stuff for people to do. Even though I don’t live there, I have a house there. Eventually, I will go back home – to live. Just not yet.

  I get up to see them as often as I can. I try for once a month. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. I talk to at least one of them every day. Nova, my niece, will call every day. You can bank on it. She won’t end her day if she hasn’t spoke to me. Micah just hands her the phone.

  She doesn’t know that I’m coming Sunday though. It’s a surprise. She’s going to be really surprised when Chance, Kelly, and Bone show up. Then I’m going to blow her mind with my arrival.

  Right now, I’m living here in Martinsville, Louisiana. It’s about two hours south of Conerly. I moved here right after we all settled in our new houses. It just wasn’t feasible for me to drive four hours to work and race. I knew that I needed my office close to the track and all the racers. I practice all day, several days a week. Being close is a necessity, so I rented a little house here and opened my office in an old building in the middle of downtown. I didn’t want sponsors coming to my house, and I didn’t want Ron and Dale over here all the time either. I like my space clean, quiet, and calm.

  “I will head out around nine that morning, so I get there a little after one. The kids may be napping so I can wake them up. Micah’s luck, they won’t be, but whatever.”

  “Micah may kill you. I doubt they will be napping. When you’re five, you’re pretty much over naps.”

  “You’re probably right, but nah.” I take a huge bite of donut and finish as I chew. “She won’t kill me. She’ll just be happy to see me.”

  “If you say so.” Ron shakes his head.

  Right then, as if she can read my mind and know I’m talking about her, my phone beeps with a text from Mi.

  Micah: What time will you be here Sunday?

  Levi: Where your ears burning?

  Micah: What you talkin about?

  Levi: I was just answering the same question for Ron.

  Micah: ….

  Micah: I’m not Ron. Answer me.

  Levi: Geez. What crawled up you?

  Micah: The fact that you’re getting on my last nerve.<
br />
  Levi: Do you talk to your mama with that mouth.

  Micah: Always.

  Levi: LOL. I’m leaving early. I should be there around or after 1.

  Levi: Make sure the kids nap so I can wake them up.

  Micah:

  Micah: Be careful and call me around 10.

  Levi: I’ll call you when I decide to.

  Micah: And I will kill you when you get here.

  Levi: I love you.

  Micah: Love you too.

  I put my phone down and tell Ron about the conversation. We both laugh at how easy it is to work her up. After finishing the donuts, we head out to unload everything and get home.

  I make it home and quickly take a shower. Even though I’m full of sugar, I’m ready to crash. I step out of the shower and towel off. Making my way to my room, I open my dresser to get some underwear. As I’m putting them on, my phone beeps with a text message.

  Smiling, thinking it’s Micah, I pick it up to see what she said. My smile quickly disappears.

  Unknown number: I will get my money back out of you. Don’t worry.

  Chapter 4

  Kathleen

  Levi racing.

  That’s something to watch. Something to behold.

  The speed. The control of the bike. The arrogance he shows. I don’t even think he knows he’s showing it. That makes it even sexier.

  My heart was beating so fast. Even before the light turned green, I couldn’t breathe. It’s always nerve racking for me. Like I’m the one racing or something.

  I’ve rode in a race car. I wasn’t racing, but I’ve felt the power under me. I’ve listened to the rumble of the engine. I’ve never been on a bike before, though.

  After Levi gets to the end of the track, I make my way to his trailer. I see him get his payment and then he and Ron head towards where I’m standing. I don’t move.

  The look on Levi’s face has me rooted where I’m at. Something is wrong. His face is giving it away. He and Ron are talking in hushed tones and Levi keeps looking around. Maybe to see if anyone is listening? After a little bit, I see Levi smirk and Ron laughs. Next, they are fine. They head back to the trailer to get ready to leave.

  Wonder what that was about?

  I make my way to my car then too, before I get spotted by someone. I saw many people that I knew, and some that knew me. I don’t need to be seen here. It wouldn’t go over well.

  Heading home on this high, I get to thinking more about the Isle of Man TT. I really want to go to that race. How can I get away with it? What can be my excuse to my dad?

  My dad is a very powerful man here in Martinsville. He owns a huge management firm. In a nut shell, he thinks he’s a god. It is irritating. His big dream for me is to be a doctor. That isn’t my big dream. He’s constantly on me about making the right friends, the right connections. Everyone thinks they know me because of him. I can’t go anywhere without someone sucking up or shooting me evil looks. It’s exhausting.

  I go to races in disguise just to get a break from people. So far, no one has recognized me, and I plan to keep it that way. Dad would have a fit if he knew his little princess loved the fast life. Not the corporate fast life like he wants, but the gasoline fueled fast life. I can just imagine that vein in his forehead exploding at that one.

  ~

  I wake Saturday morning to the sound of my phone ringing. It can only be my dad this early in the morning. I groan as I roll over to answer it.

  Without checking to verify it is him, I answer. “Morning Dad.”

  “Katie, good morning. Are you still in bed?”

  “Yes, Dad.”

  He grunts. “Don’t you remember that you have a luncheon to attend this morning?”

  “I do remember, and I have time to get ready and be there on time.”

  “Make sure that you do.” I roll my eyes. You would think by the way he talks to me, that I’m a ten-year-old little girl.

  “Is there another reason you called this morning, Dad?”

  “Yes. Do you remember Wilson Stables?”

  I roll my eyes again. What is this – the fourth time this morning? My eyes may get stuck in a roll today.

  “I know Wilson.” I already know what’s coming.

  “He’s asked me if he could take you out on a date. When is a good time to set that up?”

  I bury my head in my pillow before the scream that is dying to get out, explodes through the phone and into my father’s ear.

  “Dad…”

  “Before you turn him down, give him a chance, Kathleen.”

  Kathleen. I don’t like for him to call me Kathleen. It always means that he is already thinking of doing something that I’m not going to like.

  “Whenever is fine.” There is no excitement in my voice because I am not excited about this. I know Wilson. Wilson is an ok guy, but he is not the guy for me. Wilson is just like my dad. He’s into management with his father and they think they are the most powerful men in the city, right next to my dad.

  “I’ll set it up for tonight. It’s not like you have plans or anything.”

  It’s sad how he’s right about that. I should have plans. I should have a life, but he’s made it impossible to have that for myself. He has basically kept me a prisoner by keeping me by his side.

  “You’re doing the right thing, Katie. I will talk to you after the luncheon.”

  With that, he hangs up. I throw my phone on the floor and let that scream, that is sitting in my throat, loose. This is my life. This is what it has come down to.

  My mother died from cancer when I was in high school. My dad was always hovering over us both from what I remember, but after mom got sick he began hovering more. I know that he was coping with losing his wife. I know that he was scared, and he was trying to hang on to us both. But the thing about my dad is… he doesn’t lose things very well. When she passed, he thought dictating everything I did was what he was supposed to do. To keep from hurting him more than he was already hurting, I let him. I allowed him to dictate my life. I was grieving too and didn’t really care about anything. It was easier for both of us to let him take over. Now though, I regret that. It’s been going on way too long. I’m going to have to talk to him, and I am dreading it.

  I climb out of bed. I need to go to this luncheon. Oddly enough, it’s one that I like. It’s a mix of women - doctors, lawyers, and business owners - who are working together to raise money for the hospitals in the state. I get a lot of information about different things when I’m around this crew of people. I actually feel like it’s the one place I fit in. These ladies are from all over and each one has a different personality. With everyone at different ages, there are many stories to tell.

  I get dressed in record time. After going to countless social events and looking a certain way for the public, I’ve made getting dressed properly into a sport. I try to beat a certain time for everything. It’s all about speed. What can I say?

  I’m dressed in black designer dress pants and a cream-colored blouse. Paired with my favorite black heels, I look like I spent a while getting ready.

  Giving myself a little smirk, because I beat my best time this morning, I make my way out of the house. The luncheon is being held at an event center a couple blocks over.

  ~

  I walk into the same thing I see every time. White linen table cloths that are starched perfectly, and centerpieces made from fresh flowers by the local florist. Only the best will work for these events. It’s almost ridiculous to spend all this money on trying to impress people that don’t really care what the decorations are.

  Well, let’s just say I’m like that. I am sure there are a few in the crowd that would complain if the table clothes weren’t ironed just so. I don’t particular know those people that well.

  “Katie, it’s so good to see you.” Walking toward me is Julie. She’s a local lawyer that I have admired since she opened her own practice. My dad told me multiple times that she wouldn’t make
it six months in this town or any town. “A woman doesn’t make a good lawyer,” he said. Of course, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

  Julie has been practicing law now for almost five years now. Her case load is more than she can handle too. Everyone comes to her from miles around. She’s good at what she does, and she puts her clients first. She cares, and that is what the legal system needs. This town is crawling with criminals. Sometimes, it gets scary here.

  “Julie. I’m glad you’re hear. Now I know who to sit by.” We laugh as we make our way to our seats. I’ve known her since we were young. She’s helped me a lot with my ideas of going to law school one day.

  Even as I approach thirty, I know it isn’t too late. I may be really old when I’m done, but at least I will be doing what I want to.

  Once the luncheon gets started, I zero in on what the speakers are saying. As I said, this is something that I enjoy. My brain is always in sponge mode. Learning new things is what excites me. I’ve been curious since birth. I remember my mama always saying, “you’re too nosy for your own good, Katie girl. Know when to mind your own business.” My mama was smart, but her words never worked on me. It is in my blood to know everything about everything.

  “When are you going to take the plunge and start law school,” Julie whispers as the last speaker starts to wind down.

  “I still don’t know yet. Dad still hasn’t changed his mind.”

  “Girl, you’re almost thirty. This is your life. Go to school if you want to. I know you will be an amazing lawyer.”

  I smile at her. Truly, I would love to just jump in and go back to school. My dad wouldn’t like it very much, and he would probably refuse to pay for it. There lies the problem. I have a job, but I can’t work and go to law school. There is no way to make that happen. Plus, I work for dad.

  “Hey. Just think about it,” Julie says. Pulling myself from my thoughts, I change the subject and ask her how the firm is doing.