Sin of a Woman

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

Raven knew he was purposely reminding her of what she’d said to him the last time she saw him. That she was always going to do her. And she’d be lying if she said that anyone would ever be more important than she was to herself. But she also didn’t want to lose Kane. She loved him—as much as she could love another person—and she wanted them to work things out.

  “But what if I don’t want that?” she said. “What if I don’t want to find someone else? What if I only want you?”

  “Then you’ll just have to get over it.”

  At first Raven had thought he would eventually soften up, but he was sounding as though their breakup was permanent.

  “I’ll do anything,” she pleaded. “Anything at all.”

  Kane laughed, but she could tell he was being cynical. “Your dramatics aren’t going to cut it this time. I’m really done with you, Raven.”

  Gosh, he wasn’t budging, and this was so unlike him. Maybe they’d broken up and gotten back together more times than she’d realized, and Kane was at his limit. “What if I worked really hard to prove to you how much I love you? What if I show you that I can really change for the better?”

  “Look, I just got home from work about an hour ago, and I haven’t eaten. So we’ll have to do this another time.”

  Raven swung her feet to the floor. “Baby, please. I really mean it. I’ll do whatever you want.”

  “You know what? I believe you, because you’ve done it before. But you can’t keep it up. You do things, I forgive you, you become the most loving woman in the world, and then you go back to being the same old selfish Raven. You do that because, sweetheart, it’s just who you are.”

  “But I can change. What if we get counseling and then get married?”

  Kane laughed again. “You’re really reaching this time, aren’t you?”

  “No, I’m serious. I mean, this all started because you wanted me to tell everyone that Pastor Black didn’t rape me. And I did, Kane. I did what you wanted.”

  “Yeah, but only when you got good and ready. I also wonder why you suddenly came down with a huge case of niceness.”

  “So you don’t think my message was sincere? You think I did this because I had to?”

  “I don’t know anything. Who’s to say?”

  Raven shook her head and burst into tears. She didn’t want to cry right now, but she couldn’t stop herself. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Because I deserve better.”

  “And I can give you that. I didn’t realize things were this bad, but I promise you I can fix them.”

  “I have to go.”

  “Well…can I at least call you later?”

  “If you want, but I probably won’t answer. I have an early day tomorrow.”

  “Kane, it’s only ten after six.”

  “And?”

  “Okay, fine. I’ll call you, and if you answer you answer. But I’m not giving up.”

  “That’s up to you. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Good-bye, baby,” she said, and set her phone on the large square leather ottoman in front of her.

  This call with Kane hadn’t gone nearly the way she’d hoped. Sure, she’d expected some resistance, but not a full refusal to reconcile. He’d been angry and disappointed with her before, but never like this. He sounded so burned out from all that had transpired in their relationship. Raven knew things hadn’t been perfect, but for the first time, she realized how miserable she’d made Kane. He’d loved her and treated her better than any woman could hope for, but she’d never fully appreciated it. Now she was on the verge of losing him for good. Or at least that’s what it seemed like, because Raven would never let that happen. She wasn’t a quitter, and she would keep at him until he took her back. She would love him the way he wanted her to, and she would finally marry him. All she had to do was finalize things with Porsha, hire a few new staff members, and focus on Kane. Then all would be well and Kane would be happy. She would be happy, too.

  Raven went upstairs and washed her face and then toned and moisturized it. But for some reason, she thought about John and wanted to double check with him about that transfer. So she dialed his number.

  “Hey, baby,” he said.

  “Hey, how’s it going?”

  “Just missing you. Wishing you were here or that I was over there.”

  “I know, but I’m really tired and I need to prepare my mind for tomorrow.”

  “Well, everything is all set.”

  “You really stepped up for me, John, and I’ll never forget it. You went completely out on a limb to help me, and I’m truly grateful.”

  “I would do it again if it meant preserving the ministry.”

  “You’re a sweetheart.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he said, laughing. “But how do you plan on handling this? Are you going to call Porsha at home tomorrow evening or meet with her before then at the church?”

  “I’m doing it face-to-face. That way I can explain my separation offer, and she’ll know I’m serious.”

  “I hope she agrees to it, signs everything, and leaves without drama.”

  “Don’t worry. She will. Because having that video floating around for everyone to see would ruin her,” Raven said, but then a thought surfaced, one that gave her a bit of pause. If for some reason Porsha did pass on her offer, Raven would have to think twice about actually releasing that video to the media because Dillon also starred in the performance. And if she crossed Dillon again, he would rush to get new revenge.

  But truthfully, she wasn’t worried about that happening, because Porsha would sign the agreement and give Raven the three hundred thousand dollars she was demanding. She would bring her a cashier’s check, and that would be it. End of story. End of everything.

  Chapter 36

  Four days had passed, yet the fiasco from Saturday still upset Porsha. She hadn’t seen it coming, and while Steve had never been fine with ending their relationship, Porsha was shocked about his getting stone drunk and then showing up at her house. Worse, he’d become indignant and destructive and had broken her window. But what bothered her more was the fact that he’d called her a whore three separate times. He’d turned into someone she hadn’t known, and she’d wondered if he would ever leave. But sadly, when he had, he’d crashed his vehicle, had gotten arrested, and had been charged with a DUI. After Dillon had called 911, he and Porsha had watched the police pull up, handcuff Steve, and take him away. It had proven to be a pitiful sight, and now Porsha regretted not answering his calls last week. Maybe if she had, she would’ve been able to reason with him—make him see that their breaking up had been best for everyone involved. Maybe if she’d listened to even one of his messages, she might’ve heard the desperation in his voice. There was a chance that if she’d called him back, maybe they could have talked things through, and Steve never would have gotten drunk and gone driving at all.

  But either way, the disaster on Saturday had opened her eyes, and she now knew for sure that Gwyn Shepherd had been right. When a person didn’t abide by God’s rules, there was a serious price he or she ended up paying. In Porsha’s case, she’d helped ruin another woman’s marriage—causing her husband to ask her for a divorce—and Porsha would have to live with that reality forever. In her heart of hearts, though, she hoped that Steve and his wife would find their way back to each other and fall more in love than they’d ever imagined.

  Porsha tried to settle her thoughts so she could concentrate on a few ministry items she was working on. But as soon as she did, she heard knocking.

  “Yes?” she said.

  Raven walked in with a folder full of documents and closed the door behind her. Normally she would have asked Porsha if she was busy or had a minute, but not today.

  Porsha sat up straight but didn’t say anything.

  Raven sat down without being asked. “So here’s the deal. This agreement of ours isn’t working anymore.”

  “Meaning?”

  “This so-called partnership. It has to end
.”

  Porsha crossed her arms. “And how do you expect that to happen? You paying me out?”

  Raven slid the folder across Porsha’s desk. “No, honey, quite the opposite.”

  Porsha opened it and scanned the first few pages. “This states that I’d be signing away all claims to New Vision Ministries, Inc., and all its entities.”

  “Exactly. All you need to do is sign each of the signature pages, and Michelle can notarize them.”

  Porsha half smiled. “Surely you don’t expect me to walk away with nothing.”

  Raven’s eyes turned cold. “I do, and you will.”

  Porsha just looked at her, and although she’d already made up her mind to leave the ministry at some point, she hadn’t expected this. Raven had actually gone behind her back and had legal papers drawn up. It was true that only days ago Porsha had decided that if walking away from the ministry meant losing all her financial benefits, it wouldn’t change her mind. Because in all honesty, she didn’t care about the money as much as she did about distancing herself from Raven. But seeing these documents made this much more real, and she was appalled by Raven’s audacity.

  “Have you forgotten how you started this ministry?” Porsha asked her.

  “I know exactly how.”

  “Then you must know that I’ll need to be paid something.”

  “That’s not going to happen, but let me tell you what is. You’re going to sign those documents and bring me a cashier’s check in the amount of three hundred thousand dollars.”

  Porsha laughed at her, but deep down she already knew where this conversation was going. She knew Raven was planning to blackmail her. Porsha and Dillon had both wondered if this day would come, but they’d never discussed it until last Friday. Now Raven was doing exactly what they’d hoped she wouldn’t.

  Porsha tried to mask her shaken spirit. “So let me get this right. You’re asking me to leave with no payout, and you want me to give you three hundred thousand dollars?”

  “I’m not asking anything. I’m telling you.”

  “Well, that’s not going to happen,” Porsha said, still trying to disguise how panicked she was.

  “It will, and I’ll expect my money by Friday. That gives you two days and plenty of time to get it,” Raven said, standing up. “And if you don’t, that porn video of you and Dillon will go viral in a matter of minutes.”

  Porsha didn’t bother saying another word, and Raven walked out of her office just as calmly as she’d strolled in. She held her head very high, and she seemed almost proud about what she was doing. She was as evil as Dillon had claimed, and Porsha had to call him now to warn him. She had to fill him in and try to figure out how they were going to stop his ex-wife.

  Porsha left the church right away and hurried over to Dillon’s. She’d known this sex video of theirs might come back to haunt them one day, but she hadn’t thought it would be this afternoon. She also hadn’t expected Raven to literally try to oust her from the ministry with no claim to anything. Porsha hadn’t read all of the documents or even the first few of them thoroughly, but Raven had already confirmed that Porsha would leave with nothing. After all she’d done for Raven, this was the thanks she got. Although, the truth about the evolution of their friendship couldn’t be ignored. Porsha was guilty of sleeping with Dillon, and it had been a miracle that Raven had forgiven her. But Porsha also knew that her money had been Raven’s motivator. She hadn’t cared about Porsha’s affair with Dillon, not once she’d discovered that Porsha could help her get what she needed. It took money to start a church—at least on the level Raven had wanted to—and Porsha had willingly invested every cent. Porsha had thought she was making up for the affair she’d had with Dillon, and that Raven was being sincere about their friendship. But over the last year, and more noticeably over the last month, Raven had changed. She almost seemed to despise Porsha, and now Porsha wondered if Raven had told Michelle something awful about her. Then, yesterday during the staff meeting, Porsha had noticed that John had barely spoken to her as well. Which was strange, because he was one of the kindest, most decent men she knew.

  When Porsha pulled into Dillon’s driveway, she got out and walked up to his door.

  He opened it immediately and hugged her.

  Porsha wasn’t sure why, but as she lay in Dillon’s arms, she wanted to cry. Finally, she did and she knew it was because all her past sins were being exposed, and it was time to pay the consequences.

  They sat down on the sofa, and Dillon shook his head in disgust. “I knew it was only a matter of time. I told you how that witch was.”

  “I know, but I’m the one who gave her that disc in the first place. I never, ever should’ve done that.”

  “Baby, please just stop. I know you wish you could change that, but you can’t. So now we just have to stand up to Raven.”

  “How?”

  “We have to call her bluff.”

  “And take the chance of her leaking that video everywhere? No, Dillon, I just don’t want that.”

  “So you’d rather let her swindle you out of three hundred thousand dollars? Isn’t that the amount you told me on the phone?”

  “It’s not like I have a choice.”

  “You do have a choice.”

  “Well, unless you know something I don’t then I’m withdrawing the money in the morning. She gave me until Friday, but I’m taking care of this as soon as possible.”

  “No, you’re not. You have to give me a chance to figure this out. Handle it another way.”

  “What can you do?”

  “You just have to trust me.”

  “And what if you don’t come up with anything?”

  “Then you can pay her the money. But at least give me until Friday afternoon. Just forty-eight hours.”

  “I don’t know.”

  Dillon pulled her close and kissed her on her forehead. “It’ll be fine. It has to be.”

  Porsha didn’t like taking a chance on what Dillon might be able to do. She wanted guarantees. She wanted to know for sure that this threat would go away.

  “I really just want to end this.”

  “I know you do, but have you thought about what else could happen?”

  “Such as?”

  “Who’s to say that Raven still won’t leak the video? Because even if you ask her for it, you can bet she has other copies.”

  Actually, Porsha had thought about that very thing, but it wasn’t as though she could do anything about it.

  “What a nightmare,” she finally said.

  “I know, but we’ll get through this. That I can promise you.”

  “These have been some of the worst few days of my life. First that disaster with Steve and now this.”

  “It’s been interesting for sure, but like I just said, we’ll get through this. You’re my girl, and I’m with you all the way.”

  Porsha turned toward him. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course I am.”

  “Even with us not having sex? Because I’m really serious about that, Dillon.”

  He sighed. “I won’t lie, that’s going to be hard. But I won’t ask you to do something you don’t feel comfortable with anymore.”

  “Well, if you don’t think you’ll be able to deal with it, you need to be honest. That way, we can go our separate ways.”

  “That’s not happening. I really do love you, Porsha, and I know you love me. So that’s that. Plus, just as soon as I can get you to trust me again, we’ll be getting married, anyway.”

  “Yeah, okay, Dillon.”

  “You think I’m joking, but I’m dead serious. I’ve already told my dad about us, and when this Raven drama gets straightened out I want you to meet him. And the rest of my family.”

  Porsha gazed into his eyes. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “I’ve never been more serious about anything. My past isn’t pretty, but I’m not the person I used to be. I know I keep telling you that, but it’s true. I did some awful thi
ngs to my brother and my father, but all I wanted was for them to love me. I wanted to be accepted and treated like the rest of my siblings.”

  “I get that, and I’m glad you finally know what that feels like. There’s nothing like having a close family, and there’s not a day that goes by when I don’t wish my parents were here. My mom and dad were my world, and sometimes I feel completely lost without them,” Porsha said, tearing up. “It’s so hard.”

  “Well, with my mom dying when I was a baby I never got to know her, but I loved my aunt who raised me with all my heart. I think about her all the time, and I’ll never stop missing her.”

  Porsha tried to stop herself, but she laid her head against Dillon’s chest and bawled. She knew that things wouldn’t always be this bad for her, so she prayed for God to give her strength in the meantime. That way even if Dillon couldn’t fix this thing with Raven, Porsha would tell her to do what she had to. Because at this very moment, Porsha had decided that she would much rather get this over with now, versus waiting to see if Raven might try to blackmail her again years down the road. So no, she wouldn’t pay her three hundred thousand dollars. She would stop trying to cover up her deepest secrets and would face her consequences. It was the only way to handle this blackmail scheme—that is, unless Dillon came through with another alternative.

  Chapter 37

  Raven replayed the horrified look on Porsha’s face and laughed out loud. Even with all of Porsha’s millions, Raven had brought her to her knees. Of course, Porsha had tried to act as though she wasn’t fazed by Raven’s demands, but Raven knew she was scared solid. She’d been caught terribly off guard, and Raven had enjoyed seeing her squirm. That was what she got, though, for sleeping with Dillon behind Raven’s back and then thinking she could make decisions about NVCC. If Raven had said it once, she’d said it ten thousand times: New Vision Christian Center and New Vision Ministries, Inc., belonged to her and only her. Sharing any control or decision-making wasn’t an option, but Porsha obviously hadn’t gotten that memo because she’d begun incorporating whatever she wanted. But that was okay, because Raven had figured out a genius way to fix her for good. Porsha would pay that money, pack her office up, and never show her face at NVCC again. And if it was possible, Raven would make sure she never used the name Daughters of Ruth again, either. Yes, the whole single women’s ministry idea had been all Porsha’s, but she’d started that ministry at Raven’s church. So Raven felt as though she owned it. But she also knew that names of churches and titles couldn’t be copyrighted, so there was no sense thinking about it.