Two Hearts: Beyond Control (Two Hearts Trilogy Book 1)

by CJ Andrews

  I nodded.

  She reached into her pocket, pulled out a small tablet and a pen, and handed them to me. “Write down your name and number for me, and I’ll call the minute I hear any news about your husband.”

  The thought of food made my stomach churn. I stared at the curtains on the far wall. “Maybe I will. I just need a few more minutes before I’m ready to be around people.” If someone were to ask why I was here, I wouldn’t be able to hold myself together.

  She stood but didn’t move away. “There’s a chapel on the main floor of the East wing . . . Never hurts to ask for a healing hand.”

  By the time I turned around, she was gone. A glass wall separated me from the busy nurses’ station. The sheer curtains didn’t provide much privacy, but they filtered out most of the harsh fluorescent light.

  Waiting, not knowing, was brutal. I hope she can get an update. I crossed the room, wishing I had someone to hold me, tell me everything would be fine.

  I pulled aside the curtain and stared out the window. White flakes glowed in the night sky, swirling and dancing. They appeared harmless, but I knew the truth. I wrapped my arms across my midsection. Fear burned in my chest—fear that I might lose Will. It hit with a merciless force, making every breath difficult. I trembled, a dry heave rolling through my body.

  Nate’s voice accompanied a gentle knock on the door. “Any word?” His somber tone was as dreary as the space around us. He waited for me to face him before entering the dimly lit room, carrying a small cardboard box.

  “No one’s told me anything.” My uncontrollable sobbing resumed. “I’m so scared. What if—what if he—”

  “Hey. You can’t think that way. Will needs you to be strong for him right now.” Nate wrapped one arm around me, consoling me until I finally pulled myself together again. He placed the box on the bed, letting his hand glide along the top. “I was able to grab some things from Will’s car.”

  An uncomfortable silence filled the air. He stood watching me, shifting his weight from side to side.

  Nate cleared his throat. “I just, um—” He looked at the floor, rubbing a hand down his face. “Kendra isn’t sure she can get here, but she’s still trying. She talked to Jen, and Jen said she’s going to wait for you to call her.” He raised his brows, watching me.

  I turned away. “Thanks. I couldn’t do it earlier. I’m not up to talking right now.”

  “She said she figured as much.” Nate hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s none of my business, but I just can’t figure out why he was on the freeway. Kendra wondered too. That’s nowhere near his office, is it?”

  I’d been asking myself the same question. The freeway was on the other side of town, a full thirty-minute drive out toward the mountains. Sometimes Will met with local clients, but his current project was in Chicago. I shrugged.

  Nate tipped his head toward the door. “Listen, I’m gonna call in to the station. Let ‘em know I’ll be following up on an earlier case for a while.”

  “You don’t have to do that. I’m sure it’s a busy night for you. I’ll be fine by myself.”

  “Nonsense. Chin up, sweetie. It’ll all work out.” Nate gave me another long hug before leaving.

  I drew in a deep breath and gagged, repulsed by the sterile, antiseptic smell of the hospital. The constant beeps and alarms coming from the nurses’ station reverberated throughout the unit, ticking off each pulse of life, warning of impending death.

  “Code Blue, room 12.” The PA system repeated the calm message until it became the only thought registering in my mind.

  Men in scrubs rushed by, one pushing a large cart and shouting orders.

  The reality of the night, of Will’s accident, pressed down on me. I hugged myself, shivering. Images of his car burned bright every time I closed my eyes. I heard his screams as vividly as my own. Did he suffer as much as I was now?

  The relief I’d felt at the news he’d survived was short-lived. Every minute spent in this room ripped at my soul, filled me with doubt. With gut-wrenching fear. I pressed my hands to my ears, trying to block out the words that echoed in my mind. Life-threatening injuries. He could die.

  Patrice had mentioned a chapel on the main floor. Asking for a little divine intervention couldn’t hurt, but I’d wait for Nate to return.

  I needed a distraction, something to erase the painful possibility of losing him. My eyes settled on the box. Small pieces of Will that I could cling to.

  I turned on a small light then sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the box close. Will’s sapphire scarf lay across the top, the exact color of his eyes. I lifted it to my face, breathing in the woodsy scent of his cologne before draping it around my neck. The wool scratched my cheek as I nuzzled against it, reminding me of the rough texture of his stubble at the end of the day.

  Sifting through the box’s contents, I pushed aside the meaningless things that accumulate in everyone’s cars—garage door opener, phone charger, E-Z Pass—and revealed some old CDs. Will’s music that I hated so much but couldn’t wait to hear him play again. I hugged them to my chest, wishing they were him.

  Light reflected off something gold in the bottom of the box. The metallic seal on a manila envelope I hadn’t noticed before. Probably papers from Will’s meeting this afternoon.

  The uneasy feeling I’d had all evening grew stronger as I turned it over. The envelope had Will’s name written across the center in bold letters and a label on the corner—The Law Offices of Sherman & Foster. Our attorneys.

  My stomach clenched. I hesitated before breaking open the seal to remove the contents. Panic gripped me, tightening like a vise around my heart.

  I held the papers as steady as I could with one trembling hand. The other clawed at my chest, twisting in the chain that held Will’s heart. I struggled to keep the words in focus, forcing myself to read on. Each word, every sentence, tearing at my soul. This must be a mistake.

  Tears fell freely, staining the pages. There was no reason to stop them.

  Will had filed for divorce.

  It was no mistake. His signature mocked me from the bottom of the page. A yellow flag indicated the place I was to add mine.

  How could I have been so blind? So stupid? God, what I fool I’d made of myself trying to improve our relationship, believing that he loved me.

  The papers fell to my lap. I pulled my hands to my face, covering my mouth. Muffling my screams. Pain, unlike any I’d ever felt, cut through me like a dozen knives. Every drop of hope drained from the gaping wounds. Gone.

  Divorce. How could this happen?

  No matter what the outcome of Will’s surgery, whether he lived or died, he’d be gone from my life. And I’d be alone. Again.

  I slid off the bed, shoving the envelope and papers aside. I need to get out of here.

  After grabbing my coat, I rushed down the long hallway toward a bank of elevators. I pressed the button at a frantic pace, tapping until one of the cars finally arrived. Once inside, I sank to the floor and clutched my roiling stomach. The motion of the descending elevator magnified my intense urge to vomit.

  The elevator doors opened. I looked up at the group of people standing between me and the exit. They rushed toward me, hands extended, asking questions and offering to help. I stumbled to my feet, ignoring them all, and pushed my way through to the doors.

  The snow had stopped except for a few lingering flurries. Within seconds, the frigid air froze the tears clinging to my lashes. It chapped the damp skin on my face. I didn’t care. I pressed on, disregarding the sudden stream of calls and worried texts from Nate and Kendra.

  I didn’t know where I was going. I only knew I couldn’t stay there.

  The exposed skin on my legs burned. I kept going, running away from the nightmare. The images in my mind flashed between the horrid scene of Will’s car under that tractor-trailer and the devastating decree of divorce he’d had with him at the time.

  How long had he planned this? Why hadn’t he told me?


  Violent shivers tore through me, my body shaking from the cold as well as the pain of losing my husband. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been walking—fifteen, maybe twenty minutes? I scanned my surroundings, shocked at where I’d gone.

  I kept moving, crossing the parking lot at Giardano’s. I’d be able to slip inside and warm up, wait for a cab to take me home. That probably would have been the smart thing to do in the first place instead of wandering out on foot.

  Tall arched windows lined the front of the restaurant. I glanced through each as I passed by, unable to control my need to search for Nico. The tables all appeared empty.

  Three people occupied the lone table by the window closest to the entrance. I ducked into a shadow to peek through the glass. Angelo faced me. Nico sat across from him, next to a woman with wavy black hair. At first, I expected her to be Nico’s date from dinner, but this woman looked older, closer to my age.

  She rubbed Nico’s shoulder while Angelo spoke, animated hand gestures reinforcing his words. Nico didn’t look up from his slumped position, his face buried in his hands.

  My fists clenched as the woman gave him a hug. He didn’t return it, but the way he leaned into her made it clear they weren’t strangers. He nodded, then she pulled away. He turned to look at her as she stood.

  Angelo smiled, watching the two of them. The woman grabbed Nico’s arms, tugging him from his seat. He didn’t seem to resist and fell right into her embrace. She wrapped an arm around him and steered him out of the room, toward the office I’d woken up in earlier.

  As they walked away, Nico slipped an arm around the woman. He pulled her close and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

  I touched my wet face. Why did I come here? How many times did I need to have my heart broken in one night?

  The wind picked up, the cold breeze irritating my tear-streaked face. Going inside now would be too humiliating. I’d call for a cab and wait outside the entrance. My phone buzzed again before I reached into my pocket. This time I didn’t recognize the number on the screen.

  “Hello?”

  “Mrs. DeLaney, this is Patrice at Memorial Hospital. Your husband’s nurse?” She paused until I acknowledged recognizing her. “Dr. Cooper asked me to give you a call. He’d like you to come back up to the floor so he can speak with you.”

  Will. “H-how is he? Is he out of surgery?” Not that it should matter anymore, but it did. My teeth clenched. A wave of anger rolled through me, joining the turmoil of emotions already raging inside.

  A long silence followed.

  “Dr. Cooper will go over everything when you get here.”

  “I’m not at the hospital. I-I had to leave. Can’t you just tell me how he is?”

  Another long pause, then a man’s voice took over for Patrice’s. “Mrs. DeLaney, this is Dr. Cooper. Is there someone there with you?”

  “I’m—there’s—no, but what does that matter? Why can’t you just tell me what’s . . . what’s g-going on?”

  “Mrs. DeLaney, I’m very sorry—”

  The phone slipped from my grasp, crashing against the ice-covered ground.

  Chapter Thirty

  Letting Go

  Sitting on the edge of my bed, surrounded by darkness, I’d never felt more alone. Empty inside.

  I’d been such a fool to think Will cared about our marriage. About us. Did he ever truly love me, or had all those years together been one huge lie?

  So many questions flooded my mind. Questions that would never be answered. They could all be summed up with one word. Why?

  Why had he been on the freeway that day? Why would he pretend everything was fine? Why, after fifteen years of goddamned wedded bliss, would he divorce me like that?

  There was only one logical answer, and I couldn’t bear to think about it.

  I ignored the gentle tapping on my door, but it creaked open anyway. Jen’s face appeared, wearing the same concerned expression she’d worn for days.

  “People are looking for you.” She crossed the room, stopping to turn on a small lamp before sitting next to me. She took my hand and leaned into my shoulder.

  “I don’t want to see anyone.”

  “I know. They don’t expect you to talk much.”

  “I don’t want to talk at all.” I pushed to my feet and moved to the window, easing aside the curtain. Dozens of cars lined the street and driveway, friends and coworkers here to pay their respects to the grieving widow. “What is there to say? Am I supposed to lie about how wonderful he was? Such a great husband. Oh, and by the way, did you know the bastard filed for divorce and never even told me?” I choked back bitter tears.

  Jen followed, hugging me from behind. “Shhh . . . you have every right to be angry. Just let them offer their condolences, and they’ll be on their way.”

  “They shouldn’t have come here in the first place.”

  I thought I’d made that clear by saying his services would be private. Imagine my surprise at finding a small group of people gathered on my driveway when we returned home afterward. Unwanted guests continued to arrive in a steady stream throughout the afternoon. They all brought covered dishes or bottles of booze, intending to stick around and celebrate the life of their dearly departed friend.

  The thought disgusted me.

  My bedroom door creaked again as Caden pushed it open the rest of the way. “Aunt Danni? There you are.” He bolted toward me, wrapping his arms around my thighs when he crashed into me. His suit coat was missing, his shirttail pulled out, and his loosened tie hung to one side. “I couldn’t find where you was hidin’.”

  I tousled his hair. “You look very handsome today. You know that?”

  “Yeah, Mommy says I look all growed up.” He yanked at his tie, pulling it away from his neck. “But I don’t like wearin’ this thing.”

  I loosened the knot and helped him slip it off.

  “Whew, that’s better.” He rubbed his neck. “I miss Uncle Will. Mommy said we’re never gonna see him again.” He looked up at me, tears ready to spill from his innocent eyes. “Is that true?”

  I knelt down, pulling him to me. “Yeah, ’fraid so, buddy. But he’ll always be with you . . .” I took his little hand and pressed it over his heart. “Right here.”

  Jen brushed a tear from her cheek and rested her hand on my shoulder. “You ready to do this?”

  “Yeah,” I said with a sigh. “Let’s get it over with.”

  I held my breath, searching the room as she led me down the stairs. We inched our way through the crowded rooms and mingled among the guests. Jen stayed by my side the whole time, steering conversations away from areas that would upset me.

  Two hours later—it felt like an eternity—the mourners were nearly gone.

  Only Mr. Jamison remained. He shook his head, twisting his lips in a pained grimace as he reached for my hands. “Another good man taken away from you too soon.”

  Will didn’t deserve to be put into the same category as my father. I nodded, averting my eyes to hide my animosity for my deceased husband.

  “Alexia would have been here if she could. She thinks of you as a sister, you know?” He squeezed my hands. “Well, she hasn’t been up to talking to anyone, but I’m sure she sends her sympathy. As soon as she’s feeling better, I’ll have her fill in for you at the office.” Peter crushed me in a long embrace that left both of us sobbing. “You take as long as you need, Danni. Your job will be waiting for you when you’re ready to come back.”

  After closing the door behind him, Jen pulled me in for a hug. “You made it. It’s all over. And I’m so proud of you for holding your head high the whole time.”

  “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  We moved to the kitchen to help wrap up the last of the food left behind. Ryan, Kristi, and Kendra had been working furiously, cleaning up the plates and glasses left scattered around. And they’d kept Caden entertained by giving him small tasks to help out.

  “You guys are amaz—”

>   A huge vase filled with white roses sat in the center of the breakfast bar.

  My chest grew heavy. I struggled to pull in a steady breath. “How did these get here?”

  “They came while you were upstairs. Aren’t they just beautiful?” Kristi pulled out the small envelope that was tucked among the blooms and handed it to me.

  My hand shook as I opened it, but I didn’t need to see the card. I knew who had sent them.

  I’m here if you need me. All you have to do is ask. ~Nico

  Kendra draped her arm across my back, resting her head against mine. She let out a woeful sigh. “He wanted to be here, sweetie. It tore him apart to stay away, but he thought you needed some space. Time to heal and work things out.”

  I moved to the window, imagining his blue Ferrari parked by my driveway. The engine roared to life, and the car disappeared down the road.

  After all the times I’d told Nico to leave me alone, he chose now to finally listen and stay away. I’d made my choice, for better or worse, and had only myself to blame.

  I should have listened to my heart.

  COMING SOON!

  Danni’s story continues with the second book in the Two Hearts trilogy.

  Two Hearts: One True Love

  Spring 2017

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  Acknowledgements

  For years I’ve dreamed of being a published author, worked hard to become one. So I have to admit that sitting here to write this final page of my debut novel is a bit surreal. I’ve accomplished my initial goal and reached the starting block of a whole new adventure, one that holds new challenges and opportunities that I’m eager to explore.

  But I didn’t get here alone. Despite all of my hard work, realizing my dream would not have been possible without the help and support of some very special and important people. I cannot begin to thank you all enough, but I will try.