by Crowne, KC
“You didn’t take advantage of me,” she interrupted, giggling. “Listen, Silas, I may be younger, but I’m not a child. I’m perfectly capable of making decisions for myself.”
“So you made the decision to kiss me?”
“Yes,” she blurted out. As soon as the words left her mouth, she looked surprised. “I mean, I wasn’t thinking straight, but…”
“Exactly. You weren’t in your right mind.”
We were in close quarters. Too close.
“Fine,” she said with an audible sigh. She walked straight up to me, a defiant look in her baby blue eyes. “I’ll admit that I made the choice to kiss you. I was in my right mind and I did it anyway. Are you happy? I was just trying to make excuses for my behavior, but there is no excuse. I did it. I wanted it. There. Happy now?”
“No,” I said, but the word caught in my throat.
And then, before I knew what the hell was going on, it happened again.
Our lips smashed together, silencing us. Molly was showing me just how much she wanted it, her mouth opening to mine. Her tongue moving along with mine. Her surrender.
There was no stopping this time. I pushed her backward against the stall, lifted her into my arms and held her against me. Her body wrapped around mine, her thighs squeezing me tightly as my mouth explored hers, tasting her and savoring every part of it.
Clearly, I had been wrong.
She very obviously wanted me.
And I wanted her too.
Molly
I was in sensory overload. His strong hands moving over the length of my body. His scratchy beard against my smooth cheek.
His body against mine.
His erection pressed into me, hard and stiff against my belly. I may have been a virgin, but I knew what it was - and I knew what it meant. The heat between us was mutual.
There was no denying it.
“Yes,” I whimpered. “Please, Silas, yes.”
I wasn’t even sure what I was asking for - I just knew I wanted him. I wanted him to have his way with me, to give himself to me.
And I would be his.
I was his already.
“You’re not really his girlfriend, are you?” Silas growled into my ear.
I should have lied and kept up the charade for Christopher’s sake, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t keep lying to him.
“No,” I said, my voice coming out breathy.
“Good.” Silas’s voice caused a rumble through his body.
He unzipped my pants and slipped them down to my ankles as I fumbled with his belt buckle. He finished removing his pants for me. He grabbed my ass, hoisting me higher against his body and turned around, carrying me in those huge arms of his.
I had no idea what I was doing, but I let Silas lead the way. I gave him control of my body and trusted him to take care of me.
He didn’t disappoint.
He thrust into me, taking me by surprise. I wasn’t prepared for him at all and let out a soft cry, my head falling forward against his chest as he penetrated me.
I’d never felt so fulfilled, so stretched. There was pain, but nothing like what you read about. I was so wet and ready for him, he slipped in easier that I thought he would. And I’d been right; he felt so much better than my fingers.
“Are you okay?” Silas asked, concern lacing his voice.
“Yes, just be gentle at first,” I said, still impaled on his cock.
“Of course.” He pushed hair out of my face as he lifted my head up, staring me dead in the eyes before kissing me deeply.
He moved in and out of my body slowly at first. I almost couldn’t take it, the sensation was overwhelming, but I didn’t want it to stop. I’d never felt anything like it before.
Silas’s grunts were like music to my ears, knowing that my body was giving him pleasure, making him feel good.
Just as he was making me feel good.
“Oh God,” I whimpered, my face scrunching up as a wave of pleasure hit me. My nails dug into his back as my thighs quivered. “Silas, oh God—”
I couldn’t put into words the feelings going on in my body. I’d had orgasms from masturbating before, but this was entirely different. The intensity hit me hard, and I screamed out in pleasure, clawing at him and thankful for his strong arms holding me. My body wrapped even tighter around him, trying to pull him in even deeper.
When the feeling subsided, Silas turned and moved over to a bale of hay, with me in his arms and his cock still inside of me.
He lowered me to the hay, laying me flat on my back and hovering above me. He stared down into my eyes as he thrust into me and seeing the look on his face was pure heaven.
His face twisted into one of pleasure, and I squeezed my muscles around him. The fullness was still so new to me, so surprising. It felt like he was going so deep inside of me. I had nothing to compare him to, but he felt large and thick - larger and thicker than my fingers.
I wrapped my legs around him and tried to meet each thrust. My nails dug into his back as he continued moving in and out of me. His movements became more desperate, his breathing more ragged.
And the familiar warmth from before was building up inside of me again too.
“I’m close,” I whimpered, writhing underneath him. Hay poked and prodded my body, and I was sure it would be tangled in my hair, but I didn’t care. My focus was on the fire inside me, the explosion waiting to happen.
Silas let out a deep, animal groan and buried his shaft inside me, grabbing onto my leg and positioning it so he could go deeper. With eyes wide, I stared up at him, watching as he came inside me - feeling him throbbing as he unloaded his seed deep inside my body.
I should have been concerned about birth control in that moment, but no. My body began spasming in pleasure as I came with him. Our bodies shuddered and shook as we came together.
Once the last wave of pleasure washed over me, Silas collapsed beside me on the hay. “Jesus Christ,” he growled.
My entire body was shaking. Aftershocks shot from my lower regions. I now understood why they said good sex would make it hard to walk afterwards. I wasn’t sure my legs would work again.
A warmth rushed down my thighs, and even though I was sore, it was a good kind of sore. A reminder of what we’d just done.
A reminder that I was no longer a virgin.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice surprisingly soft.
“I’m great,” I said, letting out a chuckle. “That was—well, that was amazing.”
“Good,” he said, kissing the tip of my nose.
Silence fell between us, though there were many words we needed to speak. As soon as the afterglow began to fade, I started to panic.
What did I do?
Silas seemed to be having the same thoughts, so I rolled over to face him.
“What are we going to do about this?”
“About what?” he asked.
“This!” I exclaimed, motioning to the two of us in the hay. “We can’t tell Christopher. He’d never forgive me. He’s my best friend and, well, I can’t even imagine what it would do to your relationship with him.”
Silas raised himself up on his elbow and stared down at me, deep in thought. He sighed. “We can’t tell him, and we can’t let this happen again.”
My heart leaped into my throat. The last part bothered me more than it should, even though I knew he was right. But the very idea that I’d never get to experience that again? Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed.
Okay, a lot.
“You’re absolutely right.” I hated lying to my best friend. If it was just my relationship with him in jeopardy, I’d have come clean. But I risked tearing apart father and son with my secret as well - and I couldn’t live with that.
Neither of us said another word. Silas hopped up and pulled his pants on, and I dressed quickly as well. I couldn’t even look at him, afraid that my feelings might give myself away. Afraid that he might have guessed my secret - tha
t I was a virgin and he was my first, and that I couldn’t believe it had worked out this way.
I didn’t regret who or how I lost it, but the fact that we had to keep it a secret and cut ties? That part hurt. But that’s part of being an adult, Molly, I told myself. You make choices and you deal with the consequences of those choices.
No matter how much it hurt.
“Alright, I can walk you back to the house,” Silas offered, staring at the ground and running a hand over his beard.
“No, I’m fine,” I lied.
“It’s dark outside.”
“I’m a big girl, Silas,” I snapped, walking toward the exit.
“Yes, yes, you are,” he said softly. Almost too softly for me to hear.
I didn’t turn back around to see if he was watching me. I wanted to. I wanted to see if he was watching me walk away and thinking about what an amazing experience we had. But I didn’t dare.
I needed to keep my distance from him from now on.
For both of our sakes, and for Christopher’s as well.
Ooo000ooo
Christopher had texted me that he was meeting Tyler while I was in the middle of screwing his dad. I responded as I walked to the house, telling him I’d see him later. Tears welled in my eyes as I remembered all the times my best friend had been there for me - the times he’d cancelled his plans because a guy broke my heart, or how when we found out I lost my internship, he held me and comforted me, told me everything would be okay.
And then I’d gone and fucked his dad.
The night breeze felt cool against my skin, and I wasn’t too eager to go inside. Except I was worried I might see Silas again, and I didn’t have the strength to see him again so soon after what we’d done.
I stepped slowly toward the house, then around to the front. Once I was in front of the pond, I stopped and stared into its dark depths.
It still amazed me how dark and quiet it could be out there. The only sounds were from the crickets and maybe a bullfrog in the distance. The wind rustled against the trees. I took a deep breath and had a pep talk with myself.
It’s for the best, Molly. Not for you, maybe. But it’s selfish to tell him just to ease your conscious. It could potentially ruin the relationship with his father, not that the relationship needed any help falling apart. You don’t want to add to that tension. And it was just one time. It won’t happen again.
It can’t happen again.
Let’s forget that it even happened.
It still didn’t sit right with me.
I’d lost my virginity and couldn’t even tell my best friend about it because he’d ask questions. He’d want to know who. And I could maybe lie by omission, but not outright lie to his face. And for all Christopher’s self-centeredness, he could always tell when I was lying.
I don’t know for how long I stayed by the pond, but eventually my feet moved toward the house. I felt like I wasn’t even in control of my body anymore; I was too focused on the thoughts in my head.
And the feeling between my legs - the wetness, the warmth, and the soreness made me feel all tingly inside.
I stepped inside the house and made a beeline for the stairs, not wanting to run into anyone along the way. I made it to Christopher’s room and shut the door behind me, and that’s when the tears started to fall.
I’m a horrible person, I chided myself. How could I do this to my best friend? I ran a hand through my hair and came back with some hay.
Dammit. I almost forgot about the stupid hay.
I walked to the bathroom and drew a hot bath. As I climbed in, I felt the soreness on my body - the scratches from the hay, mostly. But the water soothed me. I washed my hair and laid back, closing my eyes.
If it wasn’t for the part about lying to my best friend and having to stay away from Silas, the experience itself was one I enjoyed reliving. I couldn’t believe it had happened to me. I had finally given myself to a man - and it was better than I’d dreamed.
I adjusted in the bath, becoming aroused thinking about it. No, you can’t do that, Molly. You can’t let yourself enjoy the thought of it. Not when you betrayed your best friend.
The bedroom door opened and Christopher called out, “Molly?”
“I’m in the bath,” I said, lowering my body into the water until it was up to my eyeballs.
I couldn’t avoid him forever, but it was tempting. I could just stay in the bath for a while, maybe until it was time to leave. But I lived with Christopher; hard to avoid him when we shared a tiny studio.
I had to face the music sooner or later.
Christopher knocked on the bathroom door just as I was preparing to drain the water. “Can I come in?”
He was gay, never had any interest in women or our bodies, and he’d seen me naked plenty of times. It had never bothered me before. But now, I felt different. I was a different woman, one who was no longer virginal and innocent.
“I’ll be out in a sec.”
I pulled the drain and stood up, grabbing a towel to wrap around my body. I piled my hair above my head in a separate towel and exited the bathroom.
Christopher was pacing the room, grinning from ear-to-ear.
“What’s going on?” I asked, eager that there was something to talk about, something to distract me from the lie in my heart. I walked over to the suitcase beside the bed and dug out some night clothes to change into “Have a good night, I guess?”
“It was amazing,” Christopher squealed. “Tyler actually took me back to his place tonight. I got to meet his parents and everything.”
I cocked an eyebrow and glanced at him. “Aren’t you worried they might talk to your family?”
Christopher waved it off. “My family and his don’t talk. Besides, we didn’t tell them we were dating or anything. Because we’re not officially yet, but I think it’s coming. After that, we had the most amazing sex at his place. One day, I hope you get to experience something so magical.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Someday you will.”
I dropped the pajama pants I’d picked up, and maybe it was the look on my face, but Christopher’s smile faltered. “Is everything okay with you?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m happy for you,” I said. My hand was shaking as I picked up the pants. “I’m gonna change. Mind turning around?”
“Uh, you know I’m not gonna look at you.”
I flinched. “Please, just turn around for a second.”
Christopher looked at me, a worried expression on his face. I thought he might delve deeper and ask me why I was acting so strangely, but he didn’t. I couldn’t explain why, but I needed my privacy more than ever in that moment.
Christopher turned his back to me, and I dropped the towel.
We’d told each other everything for the last seven years. He’s seen me naked, at my most vulnerable, and I had been fine with it. But now, the secret was weighing on me. There were times I didn’t want to tell him something, things I wanted to keep for myself - but Christopher had a way of getting anything out of me.
And I knew it was only a matter of time before he got this out of me too.
Silas
“Skipping dinner again?” I knew the look on Mama G’s face; she was disappointed. She sighed when I didn’t answer and continued. “Your son leaves tomorrow. The least you can do is spend the last evening with him. You’re a grown man. You shouldn’t be avoiding Christopher because of something he said.”
I cringed at the idea, but my attention was on one of the horses, so my mother didn’t see the look.
I wasn’t avoiding Christopher.
I was avoiding Molly.
But she was right. I needed to spend time with my son. I wanted to repair that relationship. But every time I was around him, Molly was there too.
And I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
The way her gorgeous body felt against mine.
The way I’d moved inside her, and how it felt so natural to be there.
And then, of course, I�
�d look at Christopher and feel guilty for having sex with his best friend. There was no winning.
“I’ll be in after dinner to talk to him,” I said.
I couldn’t sit at the table and look at her. I was afraid the entire room would know what we’d done.
My mother sighed loudly and walked away. I knew she was right - I should be at dinner. But I felt like being there would cause more damage to our already fragile relationship than skipping it.
I’d find him later and ask him to talk, alone. Not in the kitchen, but somewhere more private. And I’d tell him all the things I wanted to say to him - how proud I was of him, how much I loved him no matter what. He didn’t have to change for me. I just wanted him to be happy, healthy, and safe. I’d just been scared of him being so far away; I felt like we’d never have a relationship with him in New York City, which was why I fought him going back.
It had been a mistake, and I realized it now.
And even though I knew getting all those words out might be hard, I had to try. I had to get it through to him that I was sorry - truly sorry. For everything. Even the things which I could not control.
All I wanted was a relationship with my son.
I mucked the stalls and fed the horses, checking the time. Dinner had started an hour before, so I gave it a little while longer before heading into the house.
I showered first, not wanting to spoil my mother’s dinner table with the smell of the barn. Finally, cleaned up, I found myself outside Christopher’s bedroom door and I knocked.
“Come in,” Molly called.
I hesitated, considering leaving. I wasn’t sure I could face her.
But I moved forward, for Christopher’s sake.
I opened the door only to find Molly, alone, on the bed. She was in the same silk pajamas from the first day I saw her. Spaghetti straps showed off her freckled shoulders. The short shorts highlighted her thick, curvaceous thighs.
I swallowed hard and shut the door behind me, for her privacy. I’d hate for any of my brothers to see her like that.
She didn’t cover herself, which surprised me.
