by Crowne, KC
With a sigh, I hopped off the bed and went into the bathroom. I read the instructions about a hundred times, making sure I knew what to expect. It seemed simple enough. Pee on the little stick, then wait. I’d picked up the kind that literally said pregnant or not pregnant because I didn’t want any questions - I needed to know.
My heart pounded in my chest, and I thought it might explode. But I did everything it said to do. And then I waited.
And waited.
I kept checking the time on my phone.
Finally, the timer went off.
I looked down at the stick and my heart stopped.
The word “pregnant” stared back at me.
Just to be safe, I took the other tests, hoping for a different outcome.
But all three had the same result.
“Dammit, Molly,” I cursed myself, my face in my hands. “How could you be so stupid?”
I felt like I couldn’t breathe, the tiny bathroom closing in on me. My stomach roiled, and I thought I might be sick. I fell to the floor, my head leaning toward the toilet just in case. I’d been feeling sick for a bit anyway, and I always blamed it on what I’d ate. But now I knew. It had been morning sickness.
This time, I didn’t throw up, thankfully. As soon as the feeling passed, I climbed to my feet and left the bathroom.
I needed air.
I opened the window near my bed, the traffic below nearly deafening. The air was cool, and I inhaled, the feeling of sickness returning as the smell of the city met my nostrils. And I was far more sensitive to the city stench than I was before.
I closed the window and climbed into bed, craving the clear air of the plains.
After picking up my laptop, I scrolled through my latest flight search. It would be expensive to book a last-minute flight, but I knew what I had to do.
I pulled up my bank app on my phone and transferred the money from savings - money my parents had given me to live off of while I found a job. Money I shouldn’t have been touching.
But I had no choice.
Silas had to know he was going to be a father. Again.
Silas
“Good girl.” I patted Martha and rewarded her for another great trail ride with beginners. A family with a ten-year-old was visiting us, and Martha had been a pro, like always.
But now every time I worked with the horses my mind drifted to another sweet girl. I couldn’t get Molly off my mind, even a month later. I’d talked to Christopher on the phone since then, asked about her. She was doing well, he’d said, but left it at that.
I hoped she was happy, and that she was right - that she didn’t regret sleeping with me.
The sun was setting, and it would be dinner time before long. I listened for the familiar dinner bell chiming as I finished checking on the other horses. I stepped out of the stables, heading back to the house when I saw a figure in the distance.
“Who the hell…” I muttered to myself as I squinted. It was a woman; I could tell by the figure. Petite but with curves in the right places, just like Molly. She had blonde hair that fell past her shoulders, but that’s all I could see from this distance. She was in the driveway by the house, looking my way. Guests normally didn’t park near the house; they had their own parking area near the cabins.
My pace increased as I headed for the house, and with every step I took, the woman became clearer. She walked toward me, and I knew without a doubt that it was Molly. I quickened my pace, and she seemed to walk faster too.
Before we even got to each other, I blurted, “What are you doing here?”
She spoke at the same time. “We need to talk, Silas.”
I paused, trying to wrap my head around what was going on.
“Alright, but not here,” I said, taking her hand and guiding her to the stables.
She followed, and I kept thinking that it couldn’t be real. She couldn’t really be here. Then I’d glance back and there she was, her hand in mine.
God, she was so beautiful. I could stare at her all day, every day, and never tire of the view. She was more breathtaking than the horizon in the distance, sweeter than my mother’s baked apple pie.
And she was back.
She wasn’t supposed to be back.
When we reached the stables, I pulled her into the private room in the back, locking the door behind us. “What’s going on? Is Christopher okay?” I asked, suddenly terrified that she’d come to tell me my son was hurt, or worse.
“No, no, Christopher is fine. But, Silas, we have a lot to talk about,” she reiterated. Her voice didn’t sound like I remembered. Something was clearly wrong.
I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing my son was alright, but she looked nervous. “Go on, talk to me, Molly. What brought you all this way?”
She licked her lips and seemed to think over her words carefully before speaking. “First of all, we need to tell Christopher what happened. I can’t keep lying to him. We’ve made up, and he’s been a better friend to me and it doesn’t feel right keeping this from him.”
I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She was right. Lying to my son was the last thing I wanted to do, especially as we were finally repairing our relationship. We needed to start out with a clean slate, with everything out on the table.
I nodded my head. “You’re right.”
“You agree with me?” she stammered, her brows drawn.
“Yes. I mean, don’t get me wrong - I’m dreading it and it may damage our relationship even more, but it’s wrong to keep lying to him,” I admitted. “So we’ll tell him what happened and explain that it was a brief deal and hopefully he can forgive us.”
“Yeah, Silas, about that—” She hesitated. “I have more to tell you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Well, go on.”
“I don’t know how to say this…” She closed her eyes and blurted the words out so quickly, I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?” I shook my head, thinking my ears were stopped up. “I thought for a second you said you’re pregnant.”
“I am pregnant,” she repeated, speaking slower this time, her eyes closed as if she couldn’t bear to look at me. “And it’s yours. I’ve not been with anyone else, I swear.”
My legs turned to jelly, and I had to hold myself up with the wall behind me. I was thankful it was there, or I wasn’t sure I could remain standing. Molly finally opened her eyes, and they were filled with tears. My insides ached, seeing her like that. It felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces.
“Oh darlin’,” I said, summoning the ability to walk again. I went straight to her and wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. If I thought the news was hard for me to hear, I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s my fault. I wasn’t on the pill since I had no intention of having sex, and I just— well, I didn’t know how to get the morning after pill or anything. This is all so new to me.”
“It’s not your fault. I should have been more careful.” I stroked the hair away from her face, wiping away the tears with my fingertips. I never wanted to see her cry ever again if I could help it. I’d do anything to take her pain away. “And don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll take care of you and the baby”
I was calmer than I would have expected. I found that I was even a little excited. Nervous too, of course, but the idea of having another child was good news to me. I hadn’t thought about it, never planned on it, but I loved the idea. Finally, a child I would be able to help raise from the very beginning.
“I don’t know how, though,” she said, staring up at me. “With you all the way out here and me in the city…”
“You plan to stay in New York?” I asked. I don’t know why I asked. I should have known the answer. It was obvious from the moment I met her that Molly would never leave New York City. Why did I think a baby would change that?
“Of course,” she said, seeming astonished by my question. “
My entire life is there. My career, hopefully. My dreams are all based in New York City. I can’t just pack up and move out here and expect to work in my field.”
“Houston isn’t that far away,” I suggested. “You could open your own shop for a hell of a lot cheaper than in New York—”
Molly backed away from me, shaking her head. “Silas, I can’t do this right now. I don’t know what I expected, but there’s no way we can have the perfect, happy family here. I just can’t.”
“Molly, I can’t miss out on my kid’s life again. I missed so much with Christopher and you see what happened.”
“And I can’t give up everything I’ve worked for either, Silas.” Back to being the reasonable, mature one. Her tears had dried up and she looked at me with a serious expression. “I need to think about all of this. We both do. I can’t just make a decision on a whim like this. But you needed to know.”
“I agree. Please tell me you’re staying for a few days, so we can talk about this more?”
“I am.”
“I can have Mama G make you up a room.”
“I got a hotel.”
I scoffed. “You’re not staying in no damned hotel.”
“I don’t think it would be wise to stay here until everyone knows what happened. They’d ask questions about why I’m here without Christopher.”
“When do we plan to tell them?”
“As soon as we decide what we’re going to do.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re thinking about not keeping the baby.” My heart dropped even thinking about it. I knew it was her choice, but this was my child too. “I’ll raise the child myself, but please don’t—”
“No,” she said, scrunching up her face as she interrupted me. “I have no intention of getting rid of the baby, and I don’t intend on giving my child away.”
Relief washed over me. The idea of raising my child alone didn’t bother me, but I knew that Christopher felt cheated for not knowing me. I didn’t want another kid of mine to go through that again.
“Here,” she said, handing me a card. “I’m staying here, room 303.”
I held the card in my hand, staring at it, unsure what else to say.
“There’s no way I’m going to miss out on raising my child, Molly. I hope you know that.”
“I know, Silas,” she said, sounding tired. “But you can’t ask me to uproot my life either.”
I slipped the card into my pocket as Molly turned to leave. There was no way I’d let her raise my child in the city. I wouldn’t lose so much time with another one. I would be there from the start this time.
Ooo000ooo
“What’s wrong with you?” Wyatt asked.
My brother had come out to check on one of the pregnant horses while I brushed Traveler and Jagger down for the hundredth time.
“Nothin’. Why?” I asked, trying to deflect.
“Come on Silas, you’ve been brushin’ that same spot for the last twenty minutes, starin’ off into space. You’re gonna give him a damn bald spot if you don’t stop. So tell me what’s goin’ on.”
I wasn’t a man who typically spilled his guts, but my brothers, especially Wyatt, had a way of pulling them out of me. Still, Molly’s news was too fresh in my head and I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do about all of it.
“Nothing is wrong,” I lied.
“Shit, you’re a bad liar,” Wyatt said, shaking his head and throwing his hands up. “Fine, if you don’t wanna to talk, I can’t make you. But you haven’t been the same since Christopher left and we’re worried about you, brother.”
Christopher. He thought this was about my boy.
“Things with Christopher have never been better, actually. We have a little work to do still, but he talks to me at least once a week now.”
Of course, I doubted things would stay that way once he found out I’d knocked up his best friend.
“That’s good,” Wyatt said, scrunching up his brow and studying me. “Then what’s up? Having girl troubles?” He snickered, obviously thinking he was funny. He had no idea how correct he was.
Before I had a chance to say anything, he went on. “I’m tellin’ you, Silas – if it’s a woman there’s no sense in worryin’ about it. Things like that tend to work out on their own.”
I had to laugh considering his own history with women wasn’t exactly smooth. He’d had a hell of a run himself and was nursing a pretty big broken heart and a grudge the size of San Antonio. But he was a good brother, always there to help.
I’d have to tell them all eventually. Molly and I were having a baby. But I needed to clear the air with Molly and talk to Christopher before we told anyone else.
“Somethin’ like that,” I muttered, walking around to the other side of Traveler, a spot where Wyatt couldn’t see me, and focused my attention on continuing to brush.
“Oh, so there is a girl?” Wyatt asked surprised, following me around. “Who’s the lucky lady?”
“I didn’t say—” I sighed in exasperation, shaking my head. “Wyatt, I really can’t talk about this right now. I don’t even know where my head’s at with all of it. I need some time to figure it all out.” I dropped the brush.
“Fine,” Wyatt said, seeming to read my mind. “I’ll leave you to it. But you know where to find me when you’re ready to spill.”
“Thanks, man.”
My younger brother left the stable, and I didn’t breathe a sigh of relief until he was out of sight. Finally, I could relax.
Except, there was no relaxing, knowing what I did.
Molly was carrying my child.
And she thought she was going to run back to the city.
Oh, hell no. I didn’t care what I had to do, but there was no way I was going to miss my child’s life a second time.
And it went deeper than that too.
Molly was mine now; she was carrying my child, and I would do anything to keep both of them here, with me.
Absolutely anything.
Molly
There was only one hotel within a thirty-minute drive of the ranch, and it was by no means a classy place to stay. I would have preferred staying at the ranch, but there would have been too many questions and I wasn’t ready to answer them just yet. Silas and I had a lot to figure out before we let the cat out of the bag.
I couldn’t imagine how Christopher would respond to the news. Or the rest of his family either.
How could I have been so stupid? I kicked myself over and over for it.
I laid in the shitty bed that was as hard as a rock, the TV on in the background. Some sitcom was playing, but I couldn’t be bothered to pay attention or even turn the volume up. I stared straight ahead at the screen, but my mind was elsewhere.
There’d be no chance of sleep even though I was exhausted from the traveling. My hand rested on my belly, and I kept thinking about the life growing inside me. My parents would kill me. Well, not really…they’d be upset, but at the end of the day, I trusted that they’d love me and my baby.
I had no job, and most of the job opportunities I could find were for internships or very low wages - not enough to live on in New York City. My parents couldn’t keep supporting me, especially now with a baby to consider. I wouldn’t be able to live in the studio with Christopher - I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d move out and cut all ties over this.
I couldn’t blame him if he did.
And that was perhaps the worst part - I couldn’t even talk to my best friend about this. This was huge, my emotions were all over the place, and I had no one I could talk to.
I’d never felt more alone in my life.
“We’ll figure it out, sweet pea,” I spoke out loud, rubbing my belly. “Your mama is strong, she’s a fighter. She’ll figure something out.”
A knock at the door startled me, causing me to jump on the bed.
“It’s me.” Silas’s voice called from the other side of the door.
With a sigh, I rose and walked to the door, unlock
ing the dead bolt and opening the door. I stood in the doorway, blocking his way.
“I told you we needed time to think, Silas,” I reminded him. “We’re both too emotional to be—”
Before I could finish my sentence, Silas closed the distance between us, lifted my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine, literally taking my breath away.
I couldn’t speak. Hell, I couldn’t even think straight. All I could think about was his lips on mine and the way his hands felt moving down the length of my body. I opened my mouth to him, his tongue pushing in as I backed up, letting him into my hotel room.
He kicked the door closed behind him as we moved toward the bed. His hands pulled at my clothes, ripping them from my body. And I knew I should stop him, but I couldn’t.
What harm can it cause now? I asked myself. I was already pregnant with his baby, and Christopher would never forgive me anyway.
My hands ripped at Silas’s clothing, undressing him as quickly as he undressed me.
Feeling the muscles of his chest and abs tighten under my touch, hearing the way his breath caught in his throat, was too much for me. It ripped away any and all resolve I had left.
We fell backward onto the bed, and I no longer cared that it was as hard as a rock.
Silas was above me, holding himself up on his strong forearms and staring down at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world. My heart skipped several beats, and I knew I was falling hard for this man. I hardly knew him, so it couldn’t be love - could it? I wasn’t sure; I’d never been in love before. But I could see myself falling headfirst for him.
His lips pressed into mine and his body lowered over me. I wrapped my legs around him, and it was like our bodies knew what to do. He thrust into me, and even though I’d felt him before, it still took me by surprise.
I’m not sure I’d ever get used to the fullness inside me and how it made me feel.
I was so wet for him, and this time I was more ready than the first time.
