by Ali Parker
“Work will always be here. And Chessie deserves a happy father who knows when to put himself first, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “What do you know about it, Shawn? You’ve been single for the last fifteen years and never slept with the same woman for more than two weeks.”
He flashed a devilish smile. “A new woman a week keeps the doctor away.”
“Or not,” I said. “How many times have you had to get checked and treated for STIs?”
Shawn’s expression darkened. “That’s not the point.”
“Just because something is fun and looks good doesn’t mean it’s good for you.”
Shawn laughed. “I recall saying the same thing to you about Verity about fourteen months ago after you bought that hideous ring for her.”
“And I should have listened to you.”
Shawn mused over his whiskey. “Yes. You should have. But don’t use that as a bargaining chip to get me to stop sleeping around. I intend to bed as many beautiful women as I can before I decide I want to settle down and have a family. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“So long as you don’t expect this mystery woman you end up marrying to be a prude who’s been waiting her whole life for you to come sweep her off her feet, no, there’s nothing wrong with it.”
Shawn arched an eyebrow at me. “How did we move away from talking about your shit so smoothly?”
I shrugged.
Truth be told, I didn’t really want to talk about Kim. All it did was remind me that I was powerless in this situation. She’d made the call. She’d ended us before we had any real chance to see what exactly we could be together. It hurt like a bitch and I couldn’t deny that anger had been brewing just below the surface all week over the whole thing.
I wanted her back. But I couldn’t just march up to her front door and tell her that.
It wouldn’t be fair. She’d told me what she wanted and what her priorities were. And I didn’t fit into the bigger picture of her life.
Plain and simple.
But she fit in my picture like a glove. Like she was always meant to be there.
“You have that look again,” Shawn said.
“What look?”
“That look you get when you’re thinking about something and you’re far away.”
I scratched at my jaw and sat up straighter. “I’ve been getting lost in my thoughts a lot lately. Chessie is helping to keep me grounded.”
“That’s not her job.”
“You don’t think I know that?”
Shawn held up one hand. “Sorry. Sorry. You know what I mean. She doesn’t need to put you back together or feel like she has to be there so you’re happy. You need to find that somewhere else, man. What’s the harm in one date? Remember that matchmaker I told you about? He’s a real success story and he has a girl lined up for you if you’re interested.”
“I’m not.”
“I think that’s a mistake.”
“Look. Just because I don’t want to cope how you would in this situation doesn’t mean I’m making a mistake.”
Shawn sighed and finished his drink. He set the empty glass on my desk before leaning back and crossing one leg over his knee. “What’s the harm in going on one little date to get your mind off things? Apparently, this girl is bad ass. A self-made woman. Beautiful. Stormy. Your cup of tea.”
Kim was my cup of tea.
“It would do you some good to have a fun night out. Go dancing. Have meaningless sex. Remember what it feels like to be a free man who isn’t bound to one woman.”
He was saying things I might have agreed with three or four years ago. But now things were different. And I knew why.
I was in love with Kim.
There was no other explanation for why I felt so heavy and beat up and not inclined to do anything other than feel sorry for myself and what I’d lost—what Chessie and I had lost. All because of a bunch of asshole press employees and gossip-column poser journalists.
“I’d rather stay home with my daughter,” I said firmly.
Shawn shook his head at me and got to his feet. He did up his suit jacket and paced to the door, where he paused to look back at me with one hand on the door handle. “You’re always home with Chessie. She needs a father who’s happy and who knows who he is. Who can show her what it is to take control of his life. Verity did you dirty. Kim couldn’t handle the publicity. Somewhere out there is a girl who can. You’re not going to find her if you sit around on your ass all day.”
“You’re leaving, I assume?” I asked dryly.
Shawn nodded. “Yes. You need time to brood. And I have a hot date with a girl with an ass that won’t quit that I need to get ready for. Consider this a chance to start fresh, Rick. Choose who you want to be and be that guy. Just… don’t choose to be the guy who feels sorry for himself for too long, okay?”
“I know this is all coming from a supportive place but you’re kind of pissing me off.”
Shawn grinned. “Good. That means I’m doing something right.”
Chapter 36
Kimberly
“So who’s going to be there?” Vanessa asked over the phone as I swiped on some red lipstick and fluffed up my curls to make them even bigger and more dramatic than they already were.
“Jackson, Hailey, and his sister.”
“Jackson’s sister?”
“Yes.” Just to be a little more glamorous, I applied some extra shimmery lip gloss to my lips and rubbed them together before cleaning up my cupid’s bow. “I can’t remember the last time I saw Katie. She’s always so busy nowadays and never leaves that resort she’s working at.”
“The honeymoon place on the Virgin Islands?”
“Yep. Jackson says she found her calling there. It’s her dream job. I guess I can relate to the all-consuming need to be working all the time. And with trying to make couples happy, too. Especially around their wedding.”
Vanessa made some aggressive noises into the phone as she readjusted however she was sitting. I didn’t try to talk to her while she was making herself comfortable. I’d learned my lesson not to distract her. Now that it was damn near impossible for her to get comfortable at all, it took a lot of concentration for her to settle.
“Where are you guys going?”
I told Vanessa all about how Jackson had insisted I come out with them as a last hurrah before he moved to New York City. “Apparently, we’re going to have drinks and eat good food, and they’re going to keep my mind off things.”
It had been a long week—a very long week. I woke up thinking about Rick and fell asleep crying over how much I missed him. How long was I going to feel like this? My friends were doing everything in their power to keep my spirits up but it was hard for them to compete with the opposing forces of the magazines and the gossip on some afternoon talk shows about me and Verity’s ex.
Oh, and of course, there was the delightful daily message from Verity, who loved to leave me sweet little morning texts about what magazine was slamming me today and what parts she liked the most.
This morning, I’d woken to a message attacking my “basic” personality. Whatever that meant.
But I’d also woken with purpose. My conversation with Vanessa the other night had led me toward a sliver of clarity. I was still incapable of wrapping my head around this thing with Rick, but Verity was an easy fly for me to swat at the present moment.
I’d ignored her messages for weeks now without indulging in a single response. But this morning I had confidence under my belt that had been sleeping. Now it was as alert as I was and I was more than done with Verity’s bullying antics.
It was time to fight fire with fire.
So I messaged her back.
Verity,
You walked away from Rick. I didn’t steal him from you. You still have a promising life ahead of you. Stop wasting your time looking into the past and taking your anger out on me. I didn’t slight you. You slighted yourself. I wish you all the best, but if yo
u continue to message me like this I’m going to screenshot our conversations—all our conversations—and post them online. I won’t let you hide behind the screen and treat me this way.
I’d been proud of myself and maybe a little nervous when I hit send at eight in the morning. Now, nearly eleven hours later, I knew I’d made the right call. She never replied and I knew I’d found the leverage I needed. I didn’t give a damn about teaching her a lesson. All I wanted was for her to leave me the hell alone. She was a toxic black hole in my life right now and I didn’t need more nonsense sucking my soul out of my body.
The thought of going out with Jackson and the others tonight had at first sounded daunting and exhausting. I’d have much rather stayed in with a W. Parker novel and read until I fell asleep on my sofa. That way, I couldn’t think about Rick until morning.
But I couldn’t deny that the glossy red lip was making me feel a teeny bit better.
“I wish I could come,” Vanessa said with sigh. “What I would do for a good night out… it would curl your toes.”
“But not yours because you can’t move them.”
“Shut up.”
“You set yourself up for that one.” I put her on speaker phone and put in my sparkly diamond hoop earrings. They’d been a gift to myself after I landed one of my biggest wedding clients to date before Rick and Verity. “I wish you were coming too. But I doubt you’d have much fun if you tagged along.”
“Probably not. For starters, I hate being around the public right now. Everyone wants to touch my stomach and make weird baby talk noises at me. Not to mention I couldn’t have a drink. I would sacrifice my left tit to have a cold beer right now.”
“You hardly even drink beer,” I said.
“Exactly my point. I’m desperate.”
“Soon.”
“You’ve been saying that for ages. I’m a week and a half overdue.” Vanessa’s voice deepened and I could picture her glaring down at her belly as she said rather sternly, “Get out of me.”
“That baby is stubborn. Just like you and Rhys. Can you blame the little bean for wanting to stay safe and cozy for as long as possible? The outside world is not as soft and trauma free as the womb.”
“God, you need a drink more than I do.”
“You could say that again.” I snickered.
“Have you talked to Rick at all since you broke things off?”
“No,” I said, turning from my vanity mirror and going to my closet. I pulled out my most-relied-upon little black dress. It hugged me in all the right places and had long sleeves and a deep V cut. It was elegant and sexy all at once, and I liked to dress it down with a tailored leather jacket over top and some ankle boots. I stripped out of my loungewear and started getting dressed. “I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking. And sitting with my feelings, as you suggested. I still miss him. Desperately.”
“I know you do. And I bet he misses you too.”
“It was just too messy. Too complicated. All we need is a little bit of time and I’m sure we’ll come to see that and be able to move on.”
“Or maybe the timing just wasn’t right. Maybe down the road, you two will work things out.”
“Don’t,” I said. “I don’t want false hope. I’ll cling to it too hard and I’ll forget to keep living my life without him.”
“Fair.”
Once I had the dress on, I smoothed out the lines and checked myself out in the mirror.
Not bad.
Vanessa grunted and groaned as she tried to move around again on the other end. “You know what? I hate to do this to you, Kim, but I have to go. I need to get in the bath or something. The pressure is insane right now. My hips and back are absolutely killing me.”
“Go find that handsome man of yours and get him to run a bath for you. And give you a massage after.”
“Not a bad idea,” Vanessa said. “I’m going to let you go before I stand up. You don’t want to hear the noises I’ve been making lately.”
Laughing, we said our goodbyes. I wished her a good evening and told her I’d call to check in on her tomorrow. I knew she was struggling. She hid it under humor and sarcasm but her body was working against her. She was getting bigger by the day, and with her short stature, movement was only getting more and more difficult. Not to mention her back, hip, and neck pain. The tail end of this pregnancy was really testing her. I knew my best friend was strong, but I prayed relief was coming her way soon in the form of a sweet little baby who was going to be so loved.
I sent Jackson a text when I left my apartment, letting him know that I was on my way to the restaurant. He texted me back saying he and the girls were slightly delayed and to grab a table and wait for them.
My cab driver was the brooding silent type and I was thankful for that. I’d run out of patience for small talk recently. That was probably due in part to the strangers who had stopped me on the street recently to ask me if I was still seeing Rick Garrett.
I never dreamed I’d be recognized on the street for having sex with someone. I’d gone all stiff and awkward and got tongue tied, and the people who asked me, a mother and daughter duo, had snickered at my expense, muttered to each other that they had their answer, and then skirted around me like I had cooties.
I’d already had a nightmare about the encounter.
There was a large part of me that wished I’d had the nerve to collect my jaw off the sidewalk and tell them to mind their own damn business. But at the time, I’d hardly been able to process what was happening. Since then, I’d vowed that if it ever happened again, I wouldn’t stand there like a deer in the headlights. I would stand up for myself.
Whether I would do it with grace or with malice was yet to be determined.
The restaurant Jackson had chosen for our little farewell dinner was a trendy little hipster spot nestled between a brewery and an edgy barber’s shop. The walls were exposed brick, the original masonry from when the building was built at least sixty years ago. The brick had been covered up over the years of renovations with other businesses but had since been rediscovered and revealed. It suited the laidback atmosphere well. The lighting was minimal and simple, as was the furniture. There was plenty of exposed piping in the ceiling and some shelves were made of wrought-iron pipes as well.
A hostess saw me to my table and my mouth was already watering as I sat down. The table beside me was sharing a plate of nachos that looked like they were to die for, smothered in cheese, jalapenos, peppers, BBQ chicken, and onions. I immediately flipped open the menu and began working out my pitch to use on the others when they got here so we could share a plate while we sipped our first round of drinks.
After fifteen minutes passed, I began to wonder where the hell they were.
So I called Jackson. “Where are you?” I practically hissed into the phone. “This is starting to feel like one of those dates you always set me up on, where the guy doesn’t show for half a freaking hour and I’m left sitting here pining over everything on strangers’ plates sitting beside me.”
Jackson chuckled warmly into the phone. “Relax, Kim. I was waiting on two women to get ready, okay? Did you seriously think we’d be on time?”
“I was.”
“Yes. Well, you’re a rare creature. Sit tight. We’ll be there soon.”
“How soon?” I demanded.
“Soon. Order yourself a glass of wine or something to take the edge off. This is going to be a good night. I can feel it.”
“Your intuition is shit, Jackson.”
“And so is your attitude,” he quipped. “Better make it a nine-ounce glass, Kimmy. Six isn’t going to cure that—”
I hung up on him. “Asshole.”
I’d been too busy scolding Jackson to notice the waiter standing at my table, who blinked innocently down at me. “Sorry, miss. Did I offend you?”
My cheeks burned and I stared up at him. “No! I’m so sorry. I was talking about the person I was on the phone with. He—never mind. It’s a long story a
nd you definitely don’t care.” I flipped open the drink menu and found a reasonably priced nine-ounce glass of wine. Jackson might have been a dick but he made a fair point about the larger size. I ordered the wine with a pleasant smile and hoped my good manners would make up for the miscommunication between me and the waiter.
Then I sat, arms and legs crossed, and waited.
All the while, I brooded about my bad luck and how I always managed to be the first to arrive.
“And always managed to be the most disappointed at the end of the night too,” I muttered, itching for a sip of that wine.
Chapter 37
Rick
A stiff wind pushed the collar of my jacket up as I got out of the back seat of the car. Rain started splattering against the windshield and my driver pulled away from the curb, leaving me shielding my eyes against the wind as I peered up at the front doors of the restaurant Shawn had sent me to.
It didn’t look like much from the outside.
The girl I’d been set up on a date with was apparently waiting for me inside. I’d been told she’d been shown a picture of me and would recognize me when I walked in. No matter how much I pried, Shawn wouldn’t give me any information on her.
Maybe he suspected I’d get cold feet and bail.
I almost had anyway.
I talked myself in and out of coming on this date ten times over as I got ready earlier this evening. Chessie had eventually convinced me to just go. She’d sat on my bed with her legs crossed neatly under herself and watched as I did up the cuffs of my sleeves, and then she not so subtly told me to get out of my head and go on a date.
What was the worst that could happen?
I sighed up at the front doors.
I could end up with someone like Verity.
And that wouldn’t likely happen because now I knew how to catch all the red flags. Now I knew what qualities I actually wanted in a woman. And I would not get caught settling for anything less than extraordinary.
