by Ali Parker
Like Kim.
I straightened out my jacket and moved up to the front doors. A hostess in a black dress pulled them open for me with a charming smile and brought me to the podium, where a second host asked for my name.
“Rick Garrett.”
Her big blue eyes scanned the guest list in front of her and she lifted her gaze back up to me. “Your companion has already arrived. Lucy will see you to your table. Have a good evening, Mr. Garrett.”
“You too.” I followed Lucy through the winding maze of tables in the restaurant. It was a bit of an edgy place, with high ceilings and exposed piping above my head. The tables were mostly set for two and almost all were occupied. We rounded a corner booth and Lucy stepped aside to reveal my date.
I blinked. “Kim?”
Kim had a glass of red wine in her hand. Her lips were pursed to the edge of the glass and her eyes went wider than I’d ever seen them when she saw me. She set the glass down, leaving a perfect red imprint on the rim. “Rick? What are you doing here?”
Lucy gestured for me to sit. “This is your table, sir.”
“Uh…”
Kim laughed and shook her head. Then she motioned for me to sit and thanked the hostess, who took her leave as I sat down, feeling out of place and a little out of sorts.
“Jackson,” Kim muttered. “He’s always manipulating things behind my back. And he always thinks he knows what’s best for me. The little snake. I’m gonna get him one of these days.”
“Care to explain what’s happening?” I asked.
Kim sighed and crossed her arms to rest her elbows on the table. I got caught up in how beautiful she looked tonight. Her full lips were a brilliant, deep shade of red, and her eyes were more dramatic than usual, with winged eyeliner and long lashes. Sparkly gold hoop earrings peeked out from her dark curls and she lifted one hand to mindlessly play with one while she answered me. “Well, I can’t explain what happened to you, but I’m assuming someone in your life set you up on a blind date this evening?”
“Uh, yes.”
She nodded knowingly. “Mhm. Well, one of my best friends is a world-famous matchmaker and he’s singlehandedly obliterated my dating life over the past six months. I suspect this is his cheeky way of apologizing.”
“By sitting you down to dinner with an ex?” I asked skeptically. “That doesn’t seem like a very friendly thing to do.”
She eyed me curiously. “Just because I broke things off doesn’t mean it isn’t good to see you, Rick. Because it is. It’s very good to see you.”
I felt a bit like an ass as I straightened out my cutlery. “It’s good to see you too.”
She picked up her wine and I pretended to busy myself with putting my napkin over my knee. Then I kicked myself. This was Kim. I didn’t have to skirt around her like I might some other ex-girlfriend.
“How have you been?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Fine. You?”
“Fine.”
Her eyes sparkled a bit. “I’m lying. I’m terrible, Rick. I’m utterly terrible. This whole thing? It’s such a fucking mess.”
I sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Please. Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault.”
Our waitress appeared and I ordered a glass of whatever Kim was drinking. When we were alone again, I caught her watching me. I ran a hand along my jaw. “I’m not necessarily apologizing for the media,” I said, “because those bastards are out of my control.”
She cocked her head to the side. “What are you apologizing for then?”
“For how things fell apart so quickly.”
Kim opened her mouth to say something but I held up a hand.
“Please, Kim. Let me finish. This is all I’ve been able to think about, and now that I have an opportunity to sit down face to face with you, I don’t want to blow it.”
Kim licked her lips. Then she leaned back and nodded. “Okay. Go on.”
“I’m sorry that we never had a chance to see what this thing could have really been between us. If we hadn’t run into outside forces tearing us apart, I know we’d still be together. I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. I’ve never wanted to spend every minute of every day with someone who wasn’t Chessie. And when I think about Chessie and I think about you, all I can feel is this hollow disappointment, like the best thing that could have happened to Chessie was you and it was stolen away from her too soon.”
Kim blinked. Her eyes were glassy.
“Fuck,” I said. “I don’t want to make you cry. But I need you to know where I stand. I think about you every goddamn minute of every goddamn day and I doubt that’s going to change anytime soon. I’m angry that this decision was stolen from us. I’m angry that the world thinks they know us. And I’m angry that I didn’t properly prepare you for what might happen if we were seen together in the public eye like that.”
Kim dabbed at the corners of her eyes with her thumbs and cleared her throat. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. But there are things I need you to know. Important things.”
“Rick, there’s something I need to tell you, too.”
“Let me get this off my chest first.”
Kim nodded.
This was it. The point of no return. I wanted to tell her I loved her.
I’d loved her since the first night we spent together but I hadn’t been able to riddle out what those warm fuzzy feelings were inside my chest and gut because it had been so long since I’d last felt them. And with Verity, it had been so different. It had been thrilling almost, like I was catching something I knew I should release.
But with Kim?
There was no urge to release. I wanted to hold on tight. And the harder the world tried to pull us apart, the tighter I would hold on.
She needed to know I loved her. Then, with all the cards on the table, maybe we could try this again. It was worth a shot.
“Kim, I—”
Her phone buzzed. “Oh my God,” she breathed, opening her clutch and fishing her phone out. “I’m so sorry, Rick. I meant to put this on silent. Hold on. Let me just—” She paused and looked at the screen. Then she frowned up at me. “Do you mind if I take this? It’s Vanessa.”
“Go ahead.”
She answered the phone. She hardly got three words out before a deep male voice reached my ears through the speakers. Kim’s eyes widened. She gripped the edge of her table with her free hand. “Are you serious?” she asked. “Okay. Okay. I’m on my way. Do you need anything? I can bring food or—”
Whoever was on the line said something succinct and then hung up.
Kim stared at her phone and her wide eyes slid slowly up to me. “My best friend is having her baby.”
“Holy shit,” I breathed.
“Um.” Kim looked around. Then she crammed her phone back in her purse and threw a hand in the air to flag down a server. “I’m so sorry, Rick. I need to go. This is… wow. I can’t believe this is happening.” She started laughing. Then she started crying.
By the time the server arrived, I’d already dropped some cash on the table. I told her to keep the change and got to my feet. Then I called my driver to swing back up the block and come pick me up. He said he’d be there in two minutes.
Kim and I hurried to the front doors. It was still windy.
“Let me drive you to the hospital,” I said. “My driver is just around the corner.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive!”
Kim pressed a hand to her forehead. “I knew this was coming but now that it’s here, it doesn’t feel real. A baby? Holy crap.”
I chuckled. “It’s a big deal. Did they say they needed anything?”
She shook her head. “Rhys was too overwhelmed. He was hardly making sense on the phone.”
“Would you like to stop somewhere anyway?”
Kim nodded up at me. “Would you mind?”
“Not at all.”
Secretly, I was happy about the timing. This gave me more time with Kim. Even if it wasn’t the time I was expecting, I’d take it.
Chapter 38
Kimberly
I fidgeted with the tassel on my clutch as we drove toward the hospital. I’d been staring out the window for the past ten minutes, lost in my own thoughts and waiting for Rick to interrupt me. But he let me sit in peace until we approached a florist, a dollar store, and a bakery all joined in a single strip mall.
“We could stop up ahead,” he suggested. “There’s a little bakery with great desserts and the dollar store for drinks. I’m sure your friend would appreciate some refreshments after delivery.”
“Good idea,” I said.
Rick told his driver to pull into the lot, and a couple minutes later, we were quickly walking the aisles of the florist while they blew up some balloons they conveniently had behind the counter with helium that proclaimed phrases like:
Welcome, Baby!
Congrats Mom and Dad!
Family of 3!
I had not so subtly picked one of each and asked for them to be blown up. Then I saw to finding four bottles of Mountain Dew at the dollar store next door.
“I don’t want any,” Rick said.
I laughed. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t get them for us. These are all for Vanny. She has an obsession with this stuff and I know my girl is going to want one when delivery is behind her. Come on. Let’s go check out that bakery.”
We moved down the sidewalk to the bakery and arrived just in time before it closed. I explained we were going to the hospital for the birth of my niece, and the girl behind the counter let us in and locked the front door behind us. I picked out a dozen different treats: blueberry bars, cherry-filled croissants, apple fritters, chocolate creampuffs, strawberry shortcakes, raspberry Danishes, cookies, and white-chocolate cranberry scones.
After paying for our order, we picked up the filled balloons at the florist and piled into the back of Rick’s car. The box of baked treats made the whole vehicle smell divine and I tried to pretend my mouth wasn’t watering as we pulled out of the parking lot and made for the hospital.
My knee bounced furiously all the way there.
Rick put a hand on it. “Don’t be nervous. From what you’ve told me about your friend, she’s a real fighter. She’ll handle this like a champ. And the prize at the end is worth all the pain she’s in right now.”
I nodded. “It’s just a little scary. That’s all.”
“Childbirth?”
I shook my head.
Rick frowned and turned to face me more directly. “What’s scary?”
My vision grew blurry as I fought off tears. Don’t cry. “It’s stupid.”
“There is nothing you could say that I would think is stupid. Nothing.”
My bottom lip trembled. “I’m… I’m a little scared about how much things are going to change.”
“Oh.”
“See? It’s dumb.”
He chuckled, wiping a tear from my cheek. “Nothing about that is stupid. Of course, things are going to change. And change in and of itself is scary. It’s unknown. What part of it scares you the most?”
All of it. I shrugged. “I worry about what things will be like between me and Vanny. I know she won’t have the time she used to have that she’d usually spend with me. And I know—ugh, I don’t even want to say it out loud.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I promise, I won’t judge you.”
My knee finally stopped bouncing beneath Rick’s hand and I took a deep, steady breath. “I’m scared that our friendship will never be like what it was. For the longest time, I was her number-one person. Then Rhys came into the picture and there was plenty of room for her to love both of us. But a baby? I can’t compete with a baby, Rick.”
“It’s not a competition. It’s just different.”
“She has all these people to love and to love her back and I… don’t.”
Rick stared blankly back at me like I’d just said the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard.
I wiped at my eyes and laughed at myself. “See? I say it out loud and I realize how dumb it sounds. I’m just being selfish. I’m not going to lose a friend. I’m just going to lose a bit of time.”
“Maybe in the beginning,” Rick told me. “Those first few years of becoming a parent are one trial after another. You’re so overwhelmed with love and fatigue and you’re in this weird daze of confusion that half the time you wake up and forget who you are.” He smiled and I suspected he was remembering what it was like those first few months Chessie was in the world. “It’s beautiful and bizarre all at once. Vanessa is going to need you more than ever. Even if things are different for a little while, stick by her. She’ll come back around when parenthood gets a little easier.”
I bit my bottom lip and stared at my lap. “You’re making me want to kiss you, saying things like that.”
We were quiet for a moment and I wished I hadn’t said that.
“I had no ulterior motives,” Rick said. “I meant every word.”
“Exactly.”
He pulled his hand from my knee. I immediately wished he hadn’t. I ached for a long drawn-out kiss in the back seat with him. But how was I to know if I could trust that impulse? My emotions were probably just getting to me.
So I nodded at the balloons that were presently competing for space in the back seat with us. “Do you think the balloons were a little overkill?”
“No. She’ll love them. They’re great for taking photos during recovery.”
I tugged one of the strings and the pink balloon bounced up and down. “That was kind of my idea. Something to spruce up a drab hospital room, you know?”
“Were they able to get a private recovery room?”
“Rhys paid for one but it always comes down to availability the day of,” I said. “I’m sure it will be fine. I think they paid to stay an extra night, too.”
“Very wise.”
By the time we pulled into the hospital parking lot, Rick had managed to distract me from my torn-up emotions. We talked about the good things about the baby coming. About fun toys and first books and next Christmas. We talked about traditions and onesies and the extravagant baby crib the father had apparently built.
We tumbled out of the car all tangled up in the balloon ribbons and tethers. Rick balanced the box of bakery treats on his forearm while I slung my clutch over my shoulder and tucked the four-pack of Mountain Dew under my arm. I felt a bit like a fool showing up to the hospital in my favorite little black dress, but there had been no time to go home and change.
This was where I had to be.
“Okay,” I breathed. “Let’s go.”
Rick followed me in through the emergency doors. We hooked an immediate right, made our way for the maternity ward, and found the delivery rooms. A nurse greeted us from behind a plexiglass separator and knew immediately what we were there for, based on the balloons and pastries.
She smiled. “Who are you here to see?”
“Vanessa Hampton,” I said. “And Rhys Daniels.”
“I’ll buzz you through. They’re in room four-oh-two. If you knock, a nurse will come get you. But don’t walk in on your own.”
I nodded and my stomach did a nervous little roll.
We were buzzed through and found a waiting place to sit down with mint-green-pleather chairs and out-of-date magazines spread out on every second table. I picked one up and smirked as I held the cover up to Rick. “At least there’s nothing current with our faces on it, huh?”
He grinned. “Silver lining.”
“I’m going to see if I can get into her room.” I put the pack of Mountain Dew on one of the chairs. I’d bring that in to Vanessa once the baby was born. She couldn’t drink anything but water until then, and I didn’t want to tempt her with her favorite drink. She’d be screaming for the nurses to shoot it directly into her veins in no time.
I would hold off on the ba
lloons and treats too, I decided. The nurses wouldn’t want giant balloons floating around while they busted their butts trying to deliver a baby.
“Do you mind standing guard over this stuff while I duck in there?” I asked. I felt bad asking Rick to stay after the haphazard random evening we’d had so far. “I’ll be quick. Then you can get home to Chessie and—”
“Take your time,” he said. “I want to stay.”
“You do?”
Rick sat down, crossed one leg over the other, and picked up a magazine which he promptly flipped open on his lap. “Yes, I do. And I have all the entertainment I could need right here.”
I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”
Then I hightailed it around the corner and down the hall to Vanessa’s room, where I knocked softly on the door. Nobody answered, so I knocked a little harder, and seconds later, a nurse in blue scrubs yanked the door open and blinked expectantly at me.
“Erm,” I stammered. “I’m here to see Vanessa.”
“Immediate family only. Unless otherwise requested by the mother.”
I arched an eyebrow. My instinct was to tell the nurse off, but she was under pressure and was only doing her job. So I rearranged my features into a smile. “I understand. Could you let her know Kim is here to see her?”
The nurse closed the door.
I waited.
Less than ten seconds later, the door opened again and I was invited into the sterile delivery room. The first thing I saw was Vanessa lying on her back in the bed. Her hair was matted to her cheeks and forehead with sweat. Her face was bright red and she had a vise grip on poor Rhys’s hand, who was standing by her side.
“Kim,” Vanessa breathed. My name sounded like relief on her lips. “You made it.”
I moved to her side and took her other hand. “Of course, I made it. There is no place I’d rather be than right here with you guys. How are you doing?”
Vanessa’s mouth pursed into a fine line. “This is hell. Absolute hell. Don’t have a baby, Kim. Don’t do it. My insides feel like they’re being ripped apart.”
“Okay.” I laughed nervously and patted the back of her hand. “Don’t waste your energy telling me how bad it is.”
