The Wrong Kind of Love

by Lexi Ryan

  I drag my gaze off Nic—off her too-fucking-tempting mouth and away from the sweetness in her eyes—and turn to Elena’s closet to flip off the lights and close the door. “Where’s Lilly, anyway?” I demand, turning back to Nic. “Maybe you should be more concerned about her than about getting rid of Elena’s things.”

  She cocks her head to the side and frowns at me. “Lilly who?”

  “My daughter, the whole reason—” I snap my mouth shut when I realize she’s being sarcastic. “You’re hilarious.”

  “She’s with your mom. They wanted to spend some time together before Kathleen leaves, and I thought it was a good idea.”

  My chest feels heavy at the thought of my mom’s imminent departure. I know it’s just temporary and is exactly the kind of trip she deserves, but I also know how hard it’s going to be on Lilly.

  “I already checked, and she doesn’t have any homework,” Nic says.

  “Thank you.” I need to remember that Nic is a professional. Not only does she have experience, she has the perfect educational background for dealing with children. Just because I can’t keep my thoughts professional every time she’s around, it doesn’t mean she’s having the same problem. “I applied for a new nanny through an agency today. They’re going to get back with potential matches within the next five days, and then I’ll have to go through the interview process. So, I’ll need you to plan on staying at least a couple of weeks.”

  I’ll need to keep my asshole mouth in check so she’s willing to. And my dick in check so I don’t decide to keep her here longer for all the wrong reasons.

  She tucks her hands into her pockets. “Sure. I should be able to do that. If you’re okay with it.”

  I’m not sure I trust my thoughts on anything regarding her right now. “I have a conference this week, so I’ll be gone Wednesday and Thursday.” The timing is crappy, since Nic just got here. I work so much that Lilly doesn’t usually get upset when I have to leave for a couple of days, but I’m not sure how it’ll go when she’s staying with someone new instead of her grandmother. “My sister Shay offered to come stay here if you want help.”

  Nic shakes her head. “That’s not necessary at all. Lilly and I will be just fine. Leave me Shay’s number and tell her I’ll call her if I need anything.”

  “I can do that. This week is going to be hard on Lilly with her grandmother leaving, so she might need to be distracted, and I won’t be around to help cheer her up.”

  “I promise I’ll call Shay if she needs family.” She tilts her head to the side, studying me. “I know you don’t think much of me, but I wouldn’t have taken this job if I didn’t know how to work with children.”

  “Right.” I grab a stack of my pre-hung shirts from the basket. They’re carefully ironed and look like I just picked them up from the dry cleaner. “We’re going to Brayden’s tonight, so you’ll be on your own for dinner.”

  She twists her hands in front of her. “Your mom actually asked me to go to dinner with you.”

  Of course she did. “Fine. We’ll need to leave in fifteen minutes.”

  She heads out of my room but stops a few steps into the hallway. “Let me know if I can do anything to help with the nanny search,” she says without looking at me. “I’d really hate for you to have to endure my presence for any longer than necessary.”

  A is for asshole.

  Nicole

  Teagan: How’s it going? Any development in your Grey’s Anatomy-style drama? Any middle-of-the-night sexy times?

  Me: Grey’s Anatomy? How do you figure?

  Teagan: Come on. You hooked up with the hot doctor the night before you started working for him. It’s TOTAL Grey’s. So, is he Dr. McSteamy or Dr. McDreamy?

  Me: Neither.

  Teagan: Liar.

  Me: He’s Dr. McBroody Pants.

  Teagan: You’re killing me. I was counting on you for some vicarious orgasms.

  Me: He’s a jerk who wants me out of his house as soon as possible. There will be no middle-of-the-night sexy times. You’re just going to have to get your vicarious orgasms elsewhere.

  The energy in Kathleen’s house is completely unexpected. Sadness and grief seem to be hiding around every corner at Ethan’s, but his childhood home is full of happiness and laugher. I can’t help but smile as I watch the family bustle about the kitchen. The space is huge, but these boys—no, men—are bigger. Kathleen introduces them to me as they arrive one by one, and the oxygen in the air is slowly replaced with testosterone.

  I have myself tucked into the back corner with my minor dinner-prep task of chopping up a fruit salad—an assignment Kathleen was reluctant to give me at all.

  On the other side of the kitchen, there’s an informal dining area with a TV mounted over a small fireplace. The guys gather around it, pointing to the screen and arguing about the football game that’s supposed to start later tonight. I already knew Jake from the bar and that first day at Ethan’s, but there are three other brothers, all varying degrees of tall, dark, and handsome—it might be tough to keep them straight—and a sister who hasn’t made it into the kitchen for introductions yet.

  I watch her in the dining room with her mother. She’s raven-haired and curvy. If her brothers are Greek gods, she’s Aphrodite. When she comes my way, I quickly avert my gaze and pretend I wasn’t staring.

  She squeezes past the guys and extends a hand in my direction. “Thank God! It’s so nice to have some more estrogen around here. I’m Shayleigh, but everybody calls me Shay.”

  I take her hand. “I’m Nic. I work for Ethan.” My cheeks heat, and I realize I sound like an idiot. “But obviously you already know that.”

  “You bet. Lilly told me all about you the second I walked in the door. It seems you’ve won over the family princess.”

  “She’s precious.”

  She purses her lips, but I can tell she’s biting back a smile. “She’s not the only one who’s told me about you.”

  I stop chopping and meet her eyes. “What?”

  She lowers her voice and leans toward me. “Word on the street is that you’re good for my grumpy brother, so I apologize in advance if he fires your ass just because he thinks he’s allergic to happiness.”

  I bite my tongue and direct my eyes back to the salad, a little too delighted to discover Ethan is grumpy in general and not just with me. I was right to dub him Dr. McBroody Pants, but it’s probably best not to share that with his sister.

  Jake saunters over and grabs a strawberry from my bowl. “What are you two scheming over here?” he asks before popping it into his mouth.

  “World domination, mostly,” Shay says.

  “So, the usual.” He nods then turns his attention on me. “Are you having trouble keeping everyone straight?”

  “Well, I’ve got Shay down,” I say, and she snorts in response.

  Jake starts pointing out his brothers. “That’s Levi in the Colts jersey, fucking traitor. Carter’s the one in black, and Brayden’s the one who always looks like he just got off work at the bank.”

  “Cool. So, if y’all could wear the same outfits every time I see you, I’ll be all set.”

  “I run the bar,” Jake says. “And I’m the best-looking, so I’m easy to remember.”

  Shay rolls her eyes. “You wish.” I can’t help but chuckle at their good-natured ribbing. “Jake is easy to remember because he’s the biggest nerd of them all. The girls all think he’s such a stud because he runs a bar, works out, and has tattoos. What they don’t realize is he wastes hours of his life playing video games, and has strong opinions on Marvel versus DC.” She holds up both hands and looks me in the eye. “I shit you not—he still plays Dungeons & Dragons with his buddies from high school.”

  Smiling, I turn to Jake. “I had a boyfriend who played D&D once. It’s kind of fun.”

  Jake shrugs, obviously confident enough to have his sister boil his entire personality down to “nerd.” “It keeps me young.”

  “So, Jake’s the ner
d,” I say to Shay. “What about the others?”

  “Levi rides bikes for a living,” Shay says.

  “You can do that for a living? Like, Tour de France?”

  “No.” She giggles. “God no. That isn’t nearly cool enough for Levi. He rides motocross.” I’m not sure I even know what motocross is, but I don’t get to ask before she’s pointing to Carter. “Carter’s a firefighter. Brayden’s the one who runs the family business.” She lowers her voice and meets my gaze. “He’s very serious all the time.”

  “What about you?” I ask. “What do you do?”

  She smiles sweetly. “Whatever I want.”

  “Shay’s a professional student,” Jake says. “She’s trying to see how long she can go without getting a real job.”

  “Academia is a real job.” She smacks him on the chest before turning back to me. “I’m working on my PhD in American women’s literature. I’m actually finishing up my dissertation now.”

  “Impressive,” I say. “I can’t imagine staying in school that long. I was never any good at it.”

  Jake tries to steal another strawberry from the bowl. Shay smacks his hand away and turns to me. “Mom said you were working on a master’s degree, so you can’t be that bad at it.”

  I give a shaky smile. It’s Veronica who’s started on her master’s in early childhood education. Kathleen must have shared that before she knew Veronica wasn’t coming. Before we hatched our plan for me to be a big fat liar.

  “A master’s, and you’re working as a babysitter?” Jake says.

  “Jesus, Jake,” Shay growls. “Don’t be a fucking dickhead!”

  “Language!” Kathleen shouts from the dining room.

  Shay lowers her voice. “Don’t be rude.”

  “Sorry,” Jake says, wrinkling his nose. “I’m just surprised.”

  “It’s okay,” I say, but then he reaches into my fruit bowl again, and I point to his hand with my knife. “But it’s not going to be okay if you keep stealing my fruit. That’s for dinner.”

  He chuckles. “Now I see why Mom hired you.”

  I turn the subject back to Shay. “What do you want to do when you finish your dissertation?”

  “That’s the million-dollar question,” her brother says.

  “I’ll prepare future students to get their PhDs in literature so they can then prepare additional future students. It’s the circle of academic futility.” She grins. “And I’ll write shit occasionally and try to get it published.”

  “You write novels?”

  She pulls back, as if I just shoved a dead rodent in her face. “Hell no. I write papers critiquing books. And right now, I’m writing a book that’s essentially a compilation of papers critiquing books.”

  “That sounds . . . intense.” It sounds like she’s way smarter than me. “If you could do that, I bet you could write anything.”

  “Nah,” Shay says. “I just know myself, and this is the side of the creative dynamic I need to stay on.”

  I scrape the last of the apples into the bowl just as Kathleen calls us for dinner. I grab my bowl of fruit salad and carry it to the table, where everyone’s already taking their seats.

  “Nic, you can sit on that side by Ethan,” Kathleen says, pointing to two empty chairs across from her.

  “I want to sit by Nana!” Lilly announces, wrapping Kathleen in a hug.

  “Of course,” her grandmother says. “Do you think I’d want to sit by anyone else?”

  Ethan

  I’m sure my mother put Nic by me at dinner to make her more comfortable, but Nic’s body language says she’d much rather be somewhere else—under a rock in a dark cave, for instance.

  “Is the turkey too dry?” Mom asks Nic.

  “It’s delicious,” she says. “I think I’ve just had too much coffee today and it’s killed my appetite.”

  Mom tsks. “You and Shay both need to eat more food and drink less coffee.”

  “I eat plenty,” Nic reassures her. If that’s true, I’m not sure when it’s happening. She’s barely eaten more than a few bites in my presence, and I’m sure that’s once again because I’m making her uncomfortable. At this rate, I need to find a new nanny ASAP, or there’s going to be nothing left of Nic by the time I find her replacement.

  “Me too, but Mom worries. It’s her MO,” Shay says with a sympathetic smile in Nic’s direction.

  “What do you think of the new nanny?” Brayden asks Lilly.

  “I think she’s hot,” Levi says. He winks at Nic, who blushes so hard that her ears turn red.

  “Smack him for me?” Mom asks Shay, who’s sitting by Levi.

  “Nic is the best,” Lilly says, oblivious to Levi’s inappropriate come-on. “We’re gonna have so much fun together. Aren’t we, Nic?”

  Nic nods and grins at Lilly. “Absolutely.”

  “Why does the kid get to have all the fun?” Levi asks. Shay smacks our youngest brother upside the head, and he winces. “Ouch!”

  Nic fixes her gaze on her plate.

  “What does Uncle Levi mean?” Lilly asks.

  Shay shoots a glare in Levi’s direction. “He’s just jealous because we never got to have a nanny when we were kids.”

  “So jealous,” Levi says, then ducks before Shay can hit him again.

  “Daddy?” Lilly asks, turning her attention to me. “I have a question about this whole nanny thing.”

  “Sure, kiddo.” I’m used to Lilly’s questions. She’s full of them, and I’ve always tried to be as open and up-front with her as possible. “What’s that?”

  “Why is Nic sleeping in the guest room?”

  Nic and I exchange a look. “She’s going to be staying with us,” I say carefully. “Remember what we talked about? Nic is our new friend, and she’s going to take care of you while Daddy is on call.” Until I find you another nanny and shake up your life yet again. Shit. This whole thing is a mess.

  Lilly rolls her eyes. “I know that, but why is she sleeping upstairs?”

  “That’s where her room is,” Mom says.

  “She’s not staying in Nana’s apartment because Nana needs a place to stay when she comes home,” Shay adds.

  “Of course she wouldn’t stay in Nana’s apartment.” My child looks seriously irritated with all the adults at the table. Because we’re morons, apparently. “I didn’t say that.”

  “I guess I don’t understand the question, sweetie,” I say softly.

  Lilly’s nose wrinkles, and she folds her arms as she stares me down. “I thought she was going to be sleeping in your room.”

  There’s a collective inhale at the table, followed by a few coughs as my brothers try not to laugh.

  I try to play it cool. “If Nic slept in my room, where would I sleep?”

  “In your room,” she huffs. “In your bed. With Nic.”

  Carter, Levi, and Jake give up on holding back their laughter, and their chests shake. Shay bites her lip, and Brayden, ever the dignified one, takes a big gulp of his wine to hide his smile.

  Next to me, Nic’s eyes are wide as saucers. “Lilly, no, honey. Your daddy and I are just friends. I won’t be sleeping in his bed or his room.”

  Lilly frowns. I don’t know where she thought this conversation would go, but she clearly doesn’t care for the direction it’s taken. “But my mommy slept in his bed.”

  Well, shit.

  My mom and I look at each other, and she gives me a sympathetic smile. In all of our careful preparation to get Lilly ready for the new nanny, it never occurred to any of us that it might sound like we were getting her ready for a new mommy.

  Nic reaches across the table and takes Lilly’s hand. “Your daddy and mommy were married, sweetie. They were more than friends. They were husband and wife. Your daddy and I, though, we’re just friends.”

  Nic shifts her gaze to mine, and a shot of lust surges through me. There’s something in me that rejects “just friends” with Nic on a very chemical level, but Nic sounds so convincing that I c
an only assume this arrangement hasn’t been as difficult for her as if has for me.

  “Daddy will sleep in his room,” she continues. “And you’ll sleep in your room like you always do.”

  “Oh.” Lilly looks thoughtful. “I just thought you were a special friend.”

  “I am, I guess,” Nic says cautiously.

  “But Ripley’s daddy’s special friend sleeps in Ripley’s daddy’s bed.”

  “Good for Ripley’s daddy,” Levi says.

  Shay jabs her elbow into his side, but even she seems to be struggling to hold it together.

  Nic bites back a smile. I think about jumping in, but I decide she’s doing such a good job that I’ll let her finish this up herself. “Well, that’s between Ripley’s daddy and his friend, I guess, but your daddy and I aren’t that kind of friends.”

  Lilly looks like she’s considering this very carefully. “Could you be someday?”

  “That’s not the plan, sweetie,” Nic says. Something like hurt sweeps across her face, and I’m so busy trying to imagine what that could mean that I almost miss the rest of her reply. “But families come in all different shapes. Your daddy doesn’t need someone sharing his room for you to be a family.”

  “I know, I know. Okay.” Lilly pushes her plate away. “Well, at least you’ll be closer to me this way. Sometimes I have nightmares.”

  “Really?” Nic asks. “Me too. What are yours about?”

  “Bears and stuff.” Lilly turns to her aunt Shay, bored with the conversation now. “Dance battle?”

  “You bet.” Shay pushes back from the table.

  Lilly beams. “May I be excused?” Even as she asks, she’s leaving the table. She rushes out of the dining room before I can answer, and Shay follows behind.

  “Well done,” Mom says to Nic.

  Nic’s cheeks flame, and I’m not sure if it’s from the praise or if she was simply able to hide her embarrassment until Lilly walked away. “I wasn’t prepared for that.”