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by Clarice Clique

  He wanted her to love him. No, that was too much to ask. He was so far below her on so many levels he couldn’t ever hope for love. Well, he did hope. He couldn’t help hoping. But he never expected.

  He wanted to give her some pleasure, to amuse her. He wanted there to be a connection between them. He thought of the man she’d brought to his flat, Harvey. That evening had been his first time; his first time for experiencing envy and jealousy and wishing, in a way that made his whole body ache, that he was a different man.

  He typed a new beginning to his email.

  I cannot stop thinking about the time you came to visit me with your friend. Harvey is a real man and I see that I have no chance of earning your affections next to him. I want to be a man like him, not your slave. I can learn to be dominant and give you what you want. I can be your master and make you into my slut if that is really what you want. I will learn to spank you and punish you. I can change into what you want me to be. I only want to make you happy. I live to serve you in any way possible. I will –

  He stopped writing and deleted everything he’d just typed. It was too ridiculous. He couldn’t even imagine hurting his mistress, let alone doing it in real life. If he suggested that he could be her master she would laugh and rightly mock him for his presumption and stupidity.

  It wasn’t even as if Harvey had dominated her. Harvey had obeyed her, just in a different way to the way he had. Harvey had been confident and secure in his mistress’s affections. Maybe one day he, Dean, would please her enough that he could feel the same way.

  He looked at the clock and decided he had time to write another introduction.

  For my wonderful Mistress Beatrice,

  I am so lucky and blessed that you allow me to remain in your realm. I know it is only through your good grace that I’m here, not through my own worth as a slave to you. You constantly reveal to me all the ways I’m lacking and you kindly guide me in ways that I would not have thought possible when I first clicked on your profile on the internet. I wonder what my life would be like if you hadn’t chosen to speak to me, and the answer is that it would be so incredibly empty and the saddest thing would be that I wouldn’t even realise how empty and lost I really was.

  Dean allowed himself a smile and a tiny feeling of pride; he’d typed it out correctly the first time and it said exactly what he wanted it to say. He checked the clock; he had time to read through the rest of the email once more before he sent it.

  This is a full report of what happened when I met up with Mistress Janet again. This time Mistress Smith and Mistress Vee weren’t there, but she did have some other friends with her. She tells me that she’s met a lot more people on the scene and has now got her own slave to play with, but she said she liked me and wanted to see me again.

  The first instruction she gave me was to go and pick up a woman from her house. The woman didn’t tell me her name, Mistress Janet just referred to her as the slut. I went to the address and a very pretty woman opened the door. She invited me in. She had a very posh house in a village I’d never been to before. She took me into the lounge where some things were laid out and I thought that maybe I wasn’t going to see Mistress Janet after all but that this woman was going to discipline me.

  I told her that I’d been ordered to phone Mistress Janet when I reached her house, and the woman nodded and I made the phone call. Mistress Janet handed the phone to a man who told me I was to strip the slut, then I had to blindfold her, tie her wrists and ankles together, put nipple clamps on her and then take her to my car. She was to lie on the backseat and I was to take her to an address that they gave me.

  I was nervous doing this but I knew you would not tolerate any hesitation in me and the woman undressed herself as soon as I told her what I’d been ordered to do.

  Through all the different sites you have given me an appreciation and attraction of the beauty in all women, but I believe this lady would be found attractive by all men including the ones who haven’t had the benefit of your education. She had a very pretty face with fine features, clear blue eyes, and amazing blonde hair that fell halfway down her back. She had a model’s body and a triangle of fair hair between her legs which I’m afraid I could not prevent myself from looking at; my eyes just kept being drawn there.

  Even though I get no pleasure from being dominant I must confess, because I know it is important that I am entirely honest with you and tell you everything, that I did get excited by touching this lady’s body as I put on the nipple clamps.

  It felt strange taking her outside in her naked state in broad daylight. Her front garden was hidden from the road by a hedge and trees, but it was still an odd thing to do. I carried her to the car and again I must admit that it did turn me on holding her naked body in my arms.

  I put her on the back seat of the car and she lay down. She was very quiet and docile and I wondered if that is what you expect me to be like as your slave. I’m so very far from your ideal and I’m ashamed at how often I fail you.

  I drove very carefully. We actually went past some traffic police doing random checks on cars. It was such a massive relief when I drove past and they didn’t stop me. I had no idea how I would explain the presence of the lady on my backseat and as she hadn’t spoken at all, I didn’t know what she would say if we were stopped.

  I went to the address. It was another little quiet village. I parked up, and as soon as I stopped a white van appeared from a side road and parked behind me. I was a little scared at this point. Two men got out of the van. They had tattoos over their arms and lots of facial piercings. They didn’t say anything to me. They opened the back door of my car and took the lady out. I felt very uncertain about this. I remember how kind Harvey was, not just obeying your orders, but checking that it was what I wanted, and although you always tell me I must do what you say without question or hesitation, I noticed that you did not rebuke Harvey for acting this way.

  I got out of the car and went to the lady to check she was all right. She smiled and nodded.

  One of the men said, ‘She’s happy, mate, you can have her back when we’ve finished with her.’

  They bundled her into the back of the van. I waited outside in case she changed her mind and needed help. All I heard was lots of grunting and moaning. I imagined that it was you in the van as a submissive being used by two men and you’d ordered me to wait outside and guard you.

  When they emerged from the van again the men were doing up their jeans and the lady was no longer bound or blindfolded and she didn’t have the nipple clamps on any more. There was spunk over her breasts and stomach.

  One of the men threw a coat at me. He said it was to protect the slut’s modesty and both men laughed.

  I put the coat around the lady. I didn’t know whether to wipe the spunk off or not. In the end, I left it on her skin. It made her smell more like a man than a woman but I remembered when Harvey came inside me, and the immense pleasure I got from the humiliation of having his spunk dribble out of my body.

  The men in the white van drove off and that was the last I saw of them.

  Even with the coat on the lady still chose to lie down on the backseat. As soon as she was settled, my phone rang and it was Mistress Janet. She ordered me to drive to her house immediately. I felt like I was in a spy film on a secret mission.

  When I arrived at Mistress Janet’s house I led the lady in. Mistress Janet ignored her and gave me a big hug as if we were old friends. While she hugged me, someone came along and led the lady away. I asked Mistress Janet where the lady had gone but she didn’t seem too concerned. She said that she didn’t like the slut but other people in her party did so they were taking her to the basement, tying her in a new sex swing chair that one of the guests had brought, and people were going to take turns fucking her and whipping her.

  I asked Mistress Janet some other questions but she got annoyed with me. She said my job was to serve at her party and make sure everyone was happy.

  I counted a dozen pe
ople at the party, not including myself and Mistress Janet. It was hard to be sure, though, as people kept disappearing down to the basement and not reappearing for a long while. The television was on and some guests were involved with watching a reality show in between the sexual play. In fact, some of the ladies seemed to get more excited shouting about who they wanted to be voted off the show than they did when they were whipping their slaves!

  I was not involved with any of the play which I wasn’t too disappointed about as Mistress Janet seems to have grown in confidence a lot since I last saw her and is as vicious with a whip as Mistress Smith was, and she encouraged her new friends to be the same.

  I served drinks and food and chatted to anyone who I thought looked a little lost or lonely.

  There was a beautiful transsexual there. I spoke to her for a long time; she’d saved up for her breast op by turning tricks which she said had been fine as she worked for a high quality firm and had enjoyed the sex with mainly married businessmen without ever encountering any real problems. Now she wasn’t sure whether to save up for the full transformation, which had been her initial aim, as she’d been offered work as a porn star. She said she was having fun being a chick with a dick.

  Mistress Janet noticed how long I’d been talking to Eva, the transsexual, and said I should give her a blowjob. Eva said she’d be happy for that and lifted her dress. She had wonderful long legs and nails which were almost as beautiful as yours. She’d painted them in two colours, red and black, which was very striking.

  After seeing Harvey’s cock I think I’m ready and able to cope with anything else. Eva’s cock was not as large as Harvey’s, but it was still impressive seeing it at the top of her wonderful legs and watching her wank it with her long, feminine nails wrapped around it.

  I felt honoured that such a beautiful woman was allowing me to pleasure her and I hope you would have been proud of how hard and well I sucked and licked her cock and balls. She came in my mouth. She gave me some tissues to spit it out but I knew you would not be pleased with such disrespect and would want me to swallow the come.

  It was about two in the morning when people left. I stayed and cleared up and then I was allowed to go and collect the lady to take home. It took me a while to get her out of the swing harness. I fear I was a little tired and clumsy. The lady was almost dripping with spunk now, and there were red marks over her breasts and legs. She was very weak and her limbs were cramped so I carried her upstairs. Mistress Janet, who had been friendly to me throughout the whole night, now got angry and said the slut was being lazy and should be made to walk. She slapped both me and the slut around the face. I dared to ask for a drink of water for the lady, saying that might restore a little of her strength. Mistress Janet slapped me again and ordered me out of her house. She was quite drunk at this point and I hope it wasn’t disrespectful but I put the lady down and helped Mistress Janet to bed even though she’d ordered me out of the house.

  Mistress Janet did seem pleased with this and wanted me to get into bed with her, but she fell asleep very quickly so I took the opportunity to go back down to the lady to check whether she’d got her strength back.

  She had found a coat from somewhere and was standing waiting by the front door. I drove her home and this time she sat at the front with me and chatted for the whole journey. She asked if I recognised her. I hadn’t. She didn’t seem to mind. She said that she had done some presenting on a cable television channel I’d never heard of and she should be very careful who she trusts as they could sell their story to the papers but she couldn’t resist giving into moments of wildness and wanting to be fucked by strangers.

  I was shocked to learn that she had never met any of the people today, not even Mistress Janet. She had just spoken to someone online who had spoken to Mistress Janet online and was coming to this party.

  I asked who the people were in the van and she shrugged and said she had no idea.

  I was a little taken aback, but she was laughing and saying it was one of the best sessions she’d had.

  I told her I’d presumed she knew and trusted Mistress Janet even though Mistress Janet had said she didn’t like the lady.

  The lady kept laughing and said Mistress Janet had probably seen her on television and not liked the thing she was presenting and that was as well as they knew each other.

  When I dropped the lady off she said I’d been very sweet and offered to give me a fuck, a blowjob, or a handjob.

  I declined, saying that my mistress would not permit me to do anything for my own pleasure.

  She said think of it as for my mistress’s pleasure.

  But I still declined as it didn’t feel like something that would please you.

  By the time I got home it was quite late and I only had three hours’ sleep before I got up earlier than normal so I would have time to write this report for you.

  A lot of the people at the party mentioned how well trained I was. I mention this because I accept it as a compliment to you for your patience and grace in turning me into a proper slave. Many people also found it hard to believe that I was owned by a mistress who is happy for me to play with others. They said that if I was theirs they would keep me to themselves. I couldn’t explain it properly because of my restrictions in mentioning you.

  You’ve told me before not to worry what other people think; it’s only important what you think.

  Dear Mistress Beatrice I hope and pray that you know in my heart I’m always true to only you.

  Your ever loving and humble slave

  Dean glanced at the clock. He was late. He clicked the “send” button, and searched for his car keys. For some inexplicable reason they weren’t in the tray he’d put them in every single day that he’d lived in this flat. He found them under his bed. He’d obviously been even more tired last night than he realised.

  He arrived 15 minutes late to pick Helena up for church. She was waiting outside on the street for him. He was going to get out to hold the door open for her, as he’d got used to doing for his mistress, but she was in the passenger seat before he’d even undone his seatbelt.

  ‘What are you waiting for, Dean? Drive!’ Helena did not look at him but stared straight ahead.

  And that was it. He drove and she gazed silently ahead. There was no lecture, no argument. He thought of the lady who had sat in that seat in the early hours of the morning, covered in strangers’ spunk, her body aching and bruised; how she had chatted happily to him about all her sexual experience. He thought of his mistress, who often sat in silence in his car, but it was a different sort of silence, filled with possibility and excitement. He wasn’t sure what the silences with Helena were like. Comfortable? Empty.

  At church, they sneaked into the back and she moved her chair so there was at least a foot of air between them. After the service she left his side and mingled with her friends. That was her normal behaviour, but today it felt like it was a rejection of him.

  She joined him at the end to help tidy up the tea and squash and biscuits in the tiny church kitchen. Last night he had been clearing up after a party that would have disgusted and repulsed his fiancée.

  His mistress had warned him that he couldn’t keep the two parts of his life separate; that things simply didn’t work like that. Maybe it was his tired mind, but he was seeing too many mirrors and reflections and distortions between the sexual part of him and the other part that all his friends knew, the part which until recently he’d thought was the true him. He’d been able to view the sexual desires as a perverted offshoot of his core identity.

  He looked around at all the clean, neat people and wondered if any of them had similar splits within them. One of his oldest and closest friends, well respected across many Christian communities, had once confided in Dean about his long battle against homosexual yearnings. It was a battle that he’d won and Dean had always respected him for his candour in sharing it and the inner strength he had to deny the sexual part of his personality.

  Now
what would that friend think if he knew that he, Dean, who had never been aware of any gay feelings in his being, had last night enjoyed sucking a transsexual’s cock?

  ‘I want to get married this year, between Christmas and New Year.’

  Helena’s voice in his ear made him jump. Somehow he’d forgotten her presence. It took him a moment to focus on what she’d said. ‘That’s a bit soon, isn’t it? I mean, to get everything organised and to save up for, you know, all the things you want.’

  ‘This isn’t just about what I want, Dean. It is about what we want. We’ll have a small church wedding. I don’t care about a honeymoon or an expensive wedding ring. It doesn’t matter, OK?’

  ‘No. This is your dream. I told you already I’m sorry I made a fuss about the cost. We can get more credit cards and make sure it’s exactly how you want it to be.’

  ‘I’ve told you what I want. I’ll come back to your place. We’ll draw up the final guest list. We don’t need expensive invitations, we can just write them out on normal paper. I can get some stationary from work, we can cross out the council logo and it’ll be fine.’ She gave a hard laugh, but Dean couldn’t tell if she was joking or being serious.

  ‘Let’s go.’ She walked away from him, only giving cursory goodbyes to the few friends still gossiping in the hall.

  He followed her outside, then froze. Mistress Crimson was standing there with her husband. They weren’t looking his way, but were bent over talking to someone in a car stopped by the roadside. Dean could barely breathe. He took Helena’s hand and dragged her to his vehicle. He drove off without daring to look again at the couple.

  Helena was speaking, but he didn’t hear her words. His heart thumped in his head; the road ahead looked blurred. He didn’t know how he was managing to control the car.