A Dad of His Own

by Gail Gaymer Martin

  “When Lucy and I read books, sometimes they’re about Jesus. His father created the world and all of the people and animals.” He pointed upward. “And the sun and stars and planets.”

  Lexie didn’t know what to say. She glanced at Ethan, but his eyes were focused on Cooper.

  “Then when He felt sorry for the people who were doing bad things, He sent his son to come to the world and die on a cross so that all the people could go to heaven and be saved from the devil.” He leaned closer to Lexie. “The devil’s bad, Mom, and Jesus did us a big favor.”

  Her lips pulled into a smile. “I guess He did, Coop.”

  “Then don’t you think we should say thank-you to Jesus?”

  “You’re probably right.”

  He gave an emphatic nod. “And God, too.”

  “Would you like me to say the prayer?” Ethan’s voice saved her from having to speak.

  “Yes, please.” She eyed Cooper. “Ethan will say our prayer.”

  He bowed his head as Ethan extended his hands across the table, and Cooper grabbed his and hers. She watched, then slipped her palm into Ethan’s. The warmth of his hands spread up her arm, and the vision of his lips on hers skittered into her mind, taking her breath away. She bowed her head as Ethan and Cooper had done, and listened to Ethan’s clear voice while he thanked the Lord for all things, especially the wonderful dinner she’d prepared. She joined their amens as she grappled with what had happened. Her mind spun from the kiss to Cooper’s revelation to Ethan’s thoughtful response.

  When she lifted her head, they were looking at her. “Ethan, could you help Cooper with the salad while I carve the meat?” She managed to keep her hand calm as she sliced into the tender beef, then invited them to take the vegetables while she passed around the dressing. They dug into the food, and she slipped a fork of salad into her mouth, listening to Ethan and Cooper banter back and forth. Sometime during the meal, Ethan turned the conversation in a new direction.

  “Now that you’re feeling good and your hair is growing back—” Ethan gave Cooper a playful poke “—and school is letting out soon, what would you like to do or see? Where would you like to go if you could pick anything or any place you wanted?”

  She chuckled at how he’d covered all bases. The hair, school and health were covered. She studied Cooper’s face as he thought. “I’d like some of those sticks to play that game.”

  Ethan rolled his eyes at her. “Something bigger. Much bigger.”

  His eyes widened. “Like go to a place far away?”

  “Yes, I think that’s what Ethan means.” She gave him an I’m-trying-to-help-you look. He grinned.

  “Okay.” He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes as if making a wish. Then a grin filled his face, and he bound from the table and darted into the den.

  Ethan’s eyes widened. “That’s energy.”

  “When he’s excited, it is. When it’s about homework, not so much.”

  He chuckled and opened his mouth as if to say something more but closed it again as Cooper hurried back to the table with a book under his arm. When he shifted it in front of Ethan, Lexie recognized the cover. The national parks photographs.

  “Some place in here.” He poked the book with his index finger. “It’s where I’d like to go.” He opened the pages and flipped through.

  Ethan stared at the book, his curiosity obvious.

  Cooper paused, then turned a few more pages before he opened a two-page spread and paused. “Here. I want to see this.”

  Lexie saw the great expanse of red, orange and coral rocks deepened by a sunset. “The Grand Canyon.”

  Cooper’s head rocked forward and back. “It’s the biggest hole I’ve ever seen in a picture, and I’d like to go and see it for myself.” His gaze latched on to Ethan’s. “I could take my camera and make my own picture book.”

  “You could, Coop, and from what I’ve seen of your photographs, you have a real talent.”

  He redirected his gaze to her. “Can I go there, Mom?” He glanced back at Ethan. “For my summer vacation?” His expression deepened to longing. “When the teacher asks us to write about what we did in the summer, I could write about it and show my pictures.”

  Ethan reached across the table and patted his arm. “I know a group that helps kids pick out something they’ve always dreamed about and then they try to arrange their trip. Would you like me to ask them?”

  Cooper leaped off the chair with such speed, it catapulted to the floor. He dove toward Ethan and wrapped thin arms around the man’s neck. “Please. Please. Would you ask them? That would be the best vacation I ever had.”

  Lexie’s chest tightened. It would be the only vacation he ever had. His illness and her pinching dollars didn’t allow much more than a trip to the beach or once a visit to his grandparents. That vacation proved to be a poor choice. Now they’d changed for the better. She was grateful for that.

  “And you come, too, Ethan.” He glanced toward Lexie but not long enough for her to respond. “Would they let you come, too?”

  Ethan’s face blanched, his gaze seeking hers. “I’m not sure about that, buddy.”

  “Please. It wouldn’t be as fun without you.” He captured her gaze. “Right, Mom? It wouldn’t be as fun without Ethan.”

  Her heart seemed to rise to her throat, and she swallowed. “I suppose it wouldn’t, Coop.” She drew in a lengthy breath.

  “Then we can pray to Jesus, right?” He looked at Ethan first, then turned to Lexie.

  Kisses, trips with Ethan and prayers to Jesus. Lexie’s head spun with Cooper’s chatter.

  “Mrs. Rhodes always tells Lucy that Jesus hears our prayers. Is that right, Ethan?”

  “He hears prayers and knows everything.”

  Her lungs emptied. She hoped Jesus knew she was drowning.

  Ethan stood beside his car, enjoying the breeze. The air-conditioning hadn’t seemed to work efficiently inside the building during the Dreams Come True meeting, although he wondered if it had been his apprehension causing him to feel so warm. He’d never introduced a trip to the group that seemed to have so much at stake. The members had received his presentation well. Empathy tugged at their faces, especially the women, when they heard about the single mom dealing with her brave son. He didn’t have any answers today, but Cooper’s trip had been introduced. Now the cost and arrangements would be discussed and voted on. He was certain it would be approved.

  What he hadn’t mentioned was his involvement, although Ross knew and so did Bill Reuben. Neither said anything, and he was grateful. Right now he’d been dealing with Cooper’s request that he go along. Was it appropriate, and again, what new problem might it cause? And then Cooper had invited him, not Lexie.

  Part of him longed to go. He wanted to see Cooper view the Grand Canyon for the first time. The thought of the pictures the boy would take thrilled him. Distant shots of the burnished colors of the canyon walls. Closeups of cacti, flowers and rocks. The excitement flared along his veins, yet could he ever walk away from them if he went? Could he walk away from them now?

  He lowered his head and closed his eyes, sending up a prayer for God to provide him with wisdom. “Good presentation.”

  Jerking at the voice, Ethan spun around to face Ross. “Thanks. The boy deserves a wonderful trip.”

  “It sounds like it.” He extended his hand. “And thanks again for asking Lexie about adding men to the MOSK group.”

  Ethan squirmed. “The women vote on it, so there’s no guarantee.”

  He shrugged his shoulder. “I know, but you tried.” He drew himself to full height. “Once it’s approved, will you go on the trip with Cooper and his mom?”

  A kick in the gut wouldn’t have knocked the wind out of Ethan any quicker. “Cooper asked me to go along.”

  “Sounds like a nice time.”

  Ethan studied his face. “But I don’t think that’s protocol.”

  “It’s not typical, but if Peyton was granted a trip, I would g
o. Naturally I’d pay my own way.”

  “So would I, and I’d have my own room, naturally.”

  “If I were in your shoes, I’d go, I think.” He gazed into his eyes. “I really think I would if they asked me to go.”

  “Thanks for the advice.” He shook Ross’s shoulder as he said goodbye and stepped away. He watched Ross for a moment, then slipped into the car and peered at his watch. School would be out soon. Ethan dug for his cell phone and punched in Lexie’s number. When she answered, he told her about his presentation and offered to pick up Cooper from school.

  “I’m glad it looks hopeful. How can I thank you?”

  Their kisses came to mind. Kisses and Cooper’s bright smile were enough for now. “You just did.”

  When he hung up, he headed for school and was welcomed with Cooper’s enthusiastic greeting. This time he bypassed the Dairy O and drove directly to Lexie’s. Cooper didn’t ask and he was glad. He’d decided that for Cooper’s own good, sometimes he had to say no. God’s answer was sometimes no to people’s prayers, and he’d wanted to tell that to Cooper the day he talked about Jesus at dinner. One day the boy needed to learn that, like a parent, permission or wants weren’t always granted. God gave His gifts in His time. That difficult lesson impacted Ethan’s life more than he liked to recall.

  Cooper darted up the porch steps and into the house, while Ethan stood amazed at the change in the boy. When they’d first met, his illness had kept him from doing so many things. Ethan strode inside as Cooper dropped his backpack by the staircase.

  “Only four more days of school, Mom.”

  “I know.” She noticed Ethan and grinned.

  “We have exams on Thursday and only a half day on Friday.”

  Ethan chuckled. “Am I hearing this from a young man who couldn’t wait to go to school?”

  He beamed a smile. “But I need a break.”

  Even Lexie burst into laughter. “We all need a break sometimes, Coop.” She gave him a pat on the back. “Go up and change your clothes.”

  He curled his nose and turned to face Ethan.

  “I’ll be here, buddy.”

  The smile returned. He grabbed his backpack and charged up the stairs.

  Ethan watched him until he turned the corner and then strode toward Lexie. He longed to slip his arm around her waist, but he never knew when Cooper would appear, and he didn’t want to confuse the boy. He gave her more details on his presentation, and when he stopped he noticed something in her expression. “What’s on your mind?”

  She lowered her eyes. “I’ve been thinking.”

  “About what? The trip?”

  “Yes, but…about you.”

  “My coming with you?”

  She hesitated, then gave a faint nod. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

  “I’m not sure, either.”

  Her eyes widened. “I thought you’d—”

  “I’d love to be there when Cooper sees the Grand Canyon. I could help him take photographs, but I’ve asked myself if it’s appropriate.”

  “Right. It looks like…” Her jaw tightened as tension etched her face. “It looks like we’re…a family.”

  He nodded. “You know I would have my own room if I went along.”

  She nodded.

  So what if they looked like a family? Or a couple? They were what they were. Friends. More than friends, he hoped. Yet what was best riddled him, too.

  “You’re afraid people will think we’re a couple? Is that it?”

  She lowered her eyes as a mottled flush rose to her cheeks. “Yes, but it also…might be tempting.”

  Tempting? Tempting to have him go or— Her meaning struck him. Their kisses, the growing feelings, the… He placed his hand on Lexie’s shoulder and tilted her chin to look into her eyes. “I don’t act on temptation, Lexie, until I first talk with God. You can trust me.”

  A shudder fluttered through her shoulder. “I do trust you, Ethan. With all my heart. I don’t always trust myself.”

  His heart dropped to his stomach. He searched her eyes. Her meaning dissolved into confusion. Trust herself? Why?

  “I haven’t been with a man in many years, and until I met you, I’d forgotten what it felt like to be cared about and desired. You haven’t said a thing, but sometimes I see looks in your eyes, and I know what’s in my heart. I want to be true to both of us.”

  Her honesty bolted into his chest. “So do it. I respect you, Lexie. I’m human, and I have yearnings, too, but I can control those. I have for years.”

  She looked away. “I guess I have, too.”

  “So don’t worry about that. I would never—”

  “You’re a gentle man, Ethan. I’m ashamed of myself for even thinking such a thing.”

  Heat burned in his chest. She’d spoken what he’d tried to deny. He drew her into an embrace. “Let’s just remember that we are in control.”

  “In control of what?”

  Cooper’s voice jarred them apart. They spun to face him, guilt searing through Ethan’s frame.

  Cooper’s wide-eyed gaze shifted from his mother to Ethan and back again until a curious grin spread across his face.

  Ethan dragged words into his brain. “In control of life. Your mom is in control of her life and I’m in control of mine.” He suspected that didn’t mean a thing to an eight-year-old, but he’d found something to say.

  “Me, too. And my control says, let’s play a game.”

  Relief exploded to a laugh as Ethan tousled Cooper’s hair. “What kind of game?”

  “Pick Up sticks. Mom bought it for me.”

  “Who wants some milk and cookies while we play?” Lexie’s response washed over him in a balm of acceptance.

  Ethan raised his hand. So did Cooper. Lexie turned and headed into the kitchen.

  “Cooper, you and Lucy finish whatever you’re doing. Her mom just pulled into the driveway.” Lexie turned from the stairway to the front door and watched Kelsey ascend the porch stairs. She grinned and pushed open the screen door. “You’re early.”

  Kelsey brushed a strand of hair from her forehead. “I finished ahead of time. It’s too hot to work.” She stepped inside and drew in a lengthy breath. “It’s cooler in here.”

  “Brick keeps it cooler inside.” She motioned her to sit. “I told Lucy you were here.” She leaned up the staircase. “Did you hear me up there?”

  A double groan bounced down the stairs. “Mom, we’re almost done with this game.”

  She looked over her shoulder at Kelsey.

  “Ten minutes.” Kelsey held up her fingers.

  Lexie shouted the message up the stairs and then turned. “Would you like something to drink?” Then ambled toward one of the wingback chairs.

  “I’m fine, thanks.” She leaned against the cushion. “Any news on Dreams Come True?”

  “We’ll know Tuesday. I think that’s what Ethan said.” She sank into the cushion, wishing she felt more excited.

  “I’m ashamed I haven’t approached them for Lucy. She’s doing so well.” Kelsey leaned forward. “Cooper’s doing great, and he will enjoy something special this year, but you don’t look happy about it.”

  Lexie squirmed. “I’m nervous.”

  “About what?”

  “What if Cooper and I get there and something goes wrong?”

  Kelsey’s eyes widened. “Where’s that positive spirit? Nothing will go wrong.” A frown settled on her face. “I thought Cooper asked Ethan to go with you. He’ll be there.”

  She lowered her head. “I haven’t agreed to that.”

  “I thought—”

  “I’m having a difficult time with that situation.” She glanced toward the stairs and lowered her voice. “Ethan guarantees me he will be nothing but a gentleman, but—”

  “You mean you’re worried about—”

  “It’s me, not him.”

  Kelsey whisked to her side and balanced on the chair arm. “You’ve fallen in love with him.”

  S
he lowered her face in her hands. “I don’t know if it’s love or the need to be loved. It’s been a long time since I’ve had these feelings.”

  Kelsey patted Lexie’s back. “Lexie, you’ve never said anything about Cooper’s dad, but I think something went terribly wrong there. All men aren’t like him. Whatever he did, Ethan’s different. You know that. He’s stuck by your side. He cares about you and Cooper. It’s obvious to me.”

  A shudder ran through Lexie as she lifted her head, ashamed she’d allowed her emotions to overtake her. “You’re right. I’m very confused. I want to be open to a relationship but I’m frightened. Things can turn quickly. Without a warning.”

  “I know all about that.”

  The impact of the comment struck Lexie. She’d given no thought to Kelsey’s situation. She’d had to say goodbye to her husband and her friend when their affair came to light. A double betrayal would lash anyone’s confidence and security. Another case of trust.

  She pressed her palm against Kelsey’s arm. “We both had difficult times.”

  Thuds sounded on the stairs, and Kelsey rose from the chair arm while Lexie worked to put a smile on her face. “Who won?”

  Lucy waved. “But it was close.”

  Cooper shrugged. “I won last time.”

  Kelsey slipped her arm around Lucy’s shoulders. “So how was the end of school today?”

  “Fun. We didn’t have regular tests. They were like games.” Lucy darted to her backpack and dug inside.

  Cooper leaned his shoulder against Lexie. “We had a spelling bee first and then treats.”

  His weight pressed against her hip, and she placed her palm on his forehead. “Are you feeling okay? Tired?”

  “No.” He straightened. “I’m good.”

  Good. Right. Worry shuffled along her spine.

  Before she could comment, he darted to the window. “Ethan’s here.” Cooper pulled open the door, pushed past the screen door and bounded to the porch.

  Kelsey grinned. “I’ll see your school papers when we get home, Lucy.” She gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Grab your backpack. We need to get moving.”

  “You don’t have to rush.” Lexie moved toward her while she fought to keep her eyes from focusing on the doorway.