Box of Hearts (The Connor's Series Book 1)

by Nikki Ashton

  Today though, when Brandon said he wanted to get Millie some sort of memory, I just knew it had to be me that got it for her. I’d tasted her first, and while that wasn’t happening again, something about her made me want to tell Brandon to fuck off, she’s mine; even though she never will be. Yeah, my head is totally fucked up.

  When Addy got into the truck to come home and saw the rabbit on the front seat of the truck, her squeal was so high pitched I swear the local dogs all came running.

  “Daddy, you went back and won it for Millie!” she cried.

  “Yeah baby, I did. She looked like she thought it was real cute, so I didn’t want her to be disappointed.”

  “She’ll be so excited.” Addy kicked her little legs as I strapped her into her seat. “I’m so excited, too.”

  “You are honey, why?” I asked, testing the straps were tight enough.

  “Because it has a heart. You’re giving her a heart.”

  If I said my own heart dropped to my boots it wouldn’t be an exaggeration. I just hoped to fuck Millie didn’t see it that way, because nothing could be further from the truth.

  Millie

  Tears sprang to my eyes as I hugged the rabbit to me. I couldn’t believe he’d done it, gone back and won it for me. He made my head spin. He’d made it quite clear that I was nothing to him and that what happened outside the barn was a mistake, and then he’d gone and done something sweet like going to win a toy rabbit for me.

  Putting the rabbit, who I’d decided to call Jessica - okay so maybe I wouldn’t tell Jesse that - on the bed next to Lucky the bear, I took off my dress, had a quick shower, and put on some shorts and a vest top. Knowing exactly what I was doing, I left off my bra; maybe my nipples would entice him. I dragged my hair up into a messy bun, and left my room to go downstairs.

  Addy’s bedroom door was cracked open and a pale shaft of light, from her fairy castle night light, shone through the gap. I pushed the door gently and peeked around to see her little chest lifting rhythmically in sleep; her arm wrapped tightly around her pink and yellow bear. My eyes fell on a camp bed, set up on the opposite wall to Addy’s bed. Laid out on the end of it were a pair of cotton, plaid pajama bottoms – I knew it!

  With thoughts of Jesse in his PJ’s, I left Addy sleeping and tiptoed away and down the stairs. As I reached the bottom stair, I blew out a breath. I could hear Jesse in the kitchen and suddenly felt nervous about being alone with him. The nerves weren’t because I didn’t know what to say to him, or how to be around him, it was because I knew that as soon as I saw him it would take everything I had not to throw myself at him and, at the very least, beg him to kiss me.

  With a nervous cough, I descended the last stair and moved across the lounge area to find Jesse. As I got to the kitchen, he turned from stirring something at the stove and gave me a smile. I almost panted in response; he was dressed in grey sweat pants and a tight white vest, which I’d heard Garratt call a wife beater, and his feet were bare.

  “Hi.” I leaned against the counter closest to him, my hips pushing against the cabinet.

  “Hey, I thought I heard you. Expected you to still be at Rowdy’s with Brandon.”

  I shook my head and scratched at an invisible mark on the countertop. “It’s been a long day,” I explained. “We only stayed for a couple.”

  “Things going well with you two?” he asked without looking at me.

  “We’re not a thing, Jesse,” I sighed. “Just friends, that’s all.”

  Jesse continued to look at the pan, but I watched as a muscle in his cheek twitched.

  “You want some chicken soup?” He nodded down at the pan that he was stirring.

  “More food? Jesse you can’t still be hungry?” My hand went to my stomach and rubbed over it. “I’m still full from the diner.”

  “Well, I’m a growing man,” he chuckled.

  I looked him up and down, studying his strong arms and broad shoulders and laughed at the thought of him growing any more.

  “You’ll be growing outwards, that’s for sure,” I said, pointing at his stomach.

  “Hey I’ll have you know this is all hard muscle.” He lifted up his top and flashed his hard and tanned six pack. “Riding a horse all day and wrestling cattle is a real good workout you know.”

  I sagged against the counter as desire slinked over my body and heated my veins.

  “You okay?” Jesse asked, rousing me from my delicious day dream.

  My eyes widened as I realized that he’d caught me staring. “I see you got changed. Did you go to your cabin and grab some clothes?”

  I wanted to slap myself across the face; what a stupid thing to say. I couldn’t have been less embarrassed if I’d said ‘sorry, I was just thinking about putting your cock in my mouth’.

  Jesse grinned, knowing exactly what I’d been thinking, but spared my blushes.

  “Yeah, Addy came and packed for me, so the fact that I have stuff that matches is a minor miracle.”

  “Have you heard from your mum and dad?” I asked, directing the conversation to something a whole lot safer than Jesse’s clothes.

  “Yeah, they’ll be gone for a couple of days and then Auntie Ruby is going to come back with them for a little while. She’s going to have my old room.”

  Two things struck me about that statement. We would be alone in this house for the next two nights, and referring to his bedroom as his ‘old room’ meant he didn’t see this as his house any more. A sad indication that he wasn’t over his wife and probably never would be. The camp bed in Addy’s room wasn’t just him being protective of his daughter; he couldn’t face sleeping in his marital bed.

  “So, what’s your great Auntie Ruby like? Is she going to scare me?” I leaned forward and took a grape from the fruit bowl and popped it into my mouth.

  “Auntie Ruby, scary? God no, she’s a real pussycat.” Jesse turned off the stove and poured the soup into a bowl. “You sure I can’t tempt you?”

  He could definitely tempt me, but not with any chicken soup.

  “I’m fine, thanks. I’m going to have a beer though, do you want one?”

  Jesse hesitated as his eyes lifted up towards the ceiling.

  “She’ll be okay, Jesse,” I said. “One beer isn’t going to hurt or stop you from being able to care for her.”

  His face broke into a beautiful smile that crinkled his eyes. “Okay, just one.”

  As Jesse moved towards the table with his soup, I started in the direction of the refrigerator to get the beer. Jesse’s arm reached out to put his soup down, and brushed the side of my breast. Our eyes met and instantly my body ached for him.

  “Sorry,” he said softly, flicking his tongue out to lick his bottom lip.

  “No problem.” My voice cracked as his nearness threatened to overwhelm me.

  Jesse stepped aside and let me pass, but I could feel his eyes on me, assessing my every move. My heart danced with excitement as every inch of my body cried out for him to touch me. He would only need to click his fingers and I would gladly lie down and open my legs for him.

  “Did you find your gift?” Jesse’s voice broke into my subconscious and I felt the breath rush from my lungs.

  “What?” I turned to face him, the two bottles of beer clutched to my chest.

  “Your gift, did you find it?” Jesse’s eyes drifted to my chest and I knew that my nipples were out and proud. That’s what Jesse did to me, so damn easily.

  “I did, sorry, I meant to say. Thank you, so much.”

  “I figured you really wanted it,” he replied. “I saw the look on your face.”

  My heart stuttered and emotion pricked at my eyes. “You did?”

  Jesse shrugged. “Yeah.”

  “It reminded me of a rabbit that my dad bought for me, when I was seven. My brother killed it when I was nine and I cried like you wouldn’t believe.”

  Jesse’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. “Your brother killed it?”

  “Oh God, no,” I laughed.
“It wasn’t real, it was a soft toy, but Javi fed it to the next door neighbor’s dog.”

  Jesse visibly relaxed. “Oh, I see.”

  “So, thank you.”

  Feeling bold, I took a step forward, rolled up onto my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. Jesse’s breath hitched and I felt his arm stiffen at his side. Dropping back down to my feet, I took a step back and went to move away, but his hand reached out and grabbed my elbow.

  “I’m probably going to regret this,” he said, his voice thick and rough. “But I really need to be inside you.”

  The wetness that had started between my legs the moment I’d walked into the kitchen suddenly increased and my clit began to throb. I took a deep breath and stared at Jesse’s lips and felt the urge to suck on them.

  “This won’t be anything more than one night, Millie,” he said with an air of control.

  “Do you think that will make me push you away?” I asked, trying to steady the quiver in my voice. “Because it won’t.”

  He raked a hand across his head and then let it drop to cup my face. “You’re like no other woman I’ve ever met before,” he whispered almost reverently.

  “And you’re like no man I’ve ever met before.”

  “What if you want more…shit, you deserve more, but I can’t give you that.”

  “At this moment in time, Jesse, all I want is for you to fuck me.” I had no idea where this Armalita was coming from. I’d never spoken like this to a man before, obviously not Dean, but neither of my previous three lovers either. At twenty-six I was by no means a virgin, but sweet vanilla sex was all I’d ever known.

  “How do you want me to fuck you?” he asked, his fingers trailing across my collar bone. “Hard or sweet, Millie?”

  Jesse took the bottles of beer from me and put them on the table behind him. When he turned back to me his finger slipped the thin strap of my vest top off my shoulder; his eyes never left mine and I swallowed hard. His head dipped and his tongue licked along my collar bone and down to the swell of my breast. With teeth nibbling at the soft skin of my cleavage, a hand came up into my hair and pulled at my hair tie.

  “This hair needs to be down when I fuck you,” he groaned, throwing the tie to one side. The hand that had been in my hair went to the small of my back and pushed me against him. Jesse was hard against my stomach and a groan whispered from his lips as I pushed my hand between us to feel him.

  “Shit,” he whispered against my cheek. “You drive me fucking crazy.”

  Jesse’s mouth came down on mine and greedily claimed me. His lips were demanding as his hands explored my skin. I pushed up his wife beater and dug my fingers into the hard, defined muscles of his back, my grip on his cock tightening as I started to pump him.

  Jesse took the hem of my top and dragged it up and off my body, throwing it in the same direction as my hair tie. His mouth immediately went to my nipple and he sucked enthusiastically.

  “Your tits are perfect,” he said as he moved to my other nipple. “So fucking perky.”

  “Jesse,” I moaned as he sucked harder.

  The pain was harsh, but it sent a message straight to my pussy. My legs parted and I curled onto my tiptoes, urging him to touch me. Jesse unbuttoned my shorts and pushed them down my legs, along with my underwear. As I stepped out of them, Jesse pulled his own top off, while I pushed down his sweat pants. He wasn’t wearing underwear and as soon as his hard, beautiful cock was free, my mouth watered and I got even wetter.

  Without warning, he turned away from me and swept his arm across the wooden table sending his bowl of soup, two bottles of beer, and a pepper grinder flying across the room. Grabbing my arm, he swung me around and pushed my backside against the edge of the table.

  “Remember that this can only be one night, Armalita. So, if you want me to stop, tell me now,” he said firmly.

  Disappointment flashed quickly through me, but my need and desire pushed it back, and I shook my head slowly.

  “No, don’t stop,” I whispered. “Just fuck me, Jesse.”

  The next thing I knew I was lying back on the table, with Jesse pushing my legs apart. His head dropped and he sent me into orbit with one long lick of my pussy.

  “Jesse,” I cried, the pleasure washing over me as I lifted my head to watch him.

  He looked up at me through hooded eyes and I felt him grin against my throbbing clit.

  “So damn wet,” he groaned. “So damn perfect.”

  A steady, confident hand trailed up my torso and grabbed my hand, linking his fingers with mine. All the time he kept sucking and licking, sending me to the edge of euphoria.

  “Oh God,” I cried. “I’m going to cum.”

  “Not yet,” he growled. “You covered with birth control?”

  “Yes, just get inside me for God’s sake,” I urged breathlessly.

  Jesse chuckled and kissed his way up my body, until his lips were on mine.

  “I’m clean, get checked regularly and got the last results three days ago,” he said against my neck. “You?”

  “Jesse, I’ve never had sex without a condom, I’m on the contraceptive pill and I haven’t had sex in almost two years, so just do it.”

  Jesse looked at me and frowned. “Two years?”

  “He was gay, remember?”

  “Fucking dick.”

  Suddenly, he pushed inside me with such strength that I was forced further up the table. The pleasure was unbelievable as he filled me, pushing my legs wider apart with each thrust. Our hands linked together and held on tighter the further we fell in to ecstasy. As Jesse’s pace quickened, my hips matched his rhythm and my limbs began to tremble as my orgasm started to build. The ball of fire started in the pit of my stomach and worked its way around my body, pushing out through my nipples, my pussy, and my clit until I was screaming Jesse’s name. My heels dug into his hard backside and my fingertips into his shoulders as the pleasure that was so good, yet too much all at the same time, swaddled me.

  “Millie, oh my God,” Jesse groaned, his pace quickening. “Fuuuck!”

  His body started to shudder as he did one more thrust and push. His grip on my fingers got tighter, his biceps flexed, and every muscle in his body tensed as he emptied himself inside me.

  Sweat sheened our bodies as we lay on Bonnie’s kitchen table panting as hard as if we’d just run a marathon. Jesse opened his eyes and looked down at me, his gaze searched my face, for what I wasn’t sure. Maybe he was checking that there were no signs of any emotion deeper than lust, or satisfaction. Whatever it was, he showed no indication of finding it as he dropped a gentle kiss to my lips.

  “You’re an amazing woman,” he whispered. He gave me another sweet kiss and then pulled out of me.

  I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as he bent to retrieve his clothes and pull them on.

  “I’m going to clean up and check on Addy,” he said, looking me straight in the eye.

  “Okay,” I whispered, thankful at least that he didn’t appear to regret what we’d done.

  Then he was gone, leaving me to survey the mess around the kitchen and to feel the loss of his body on mine. I pushed myself up and looked down at my own clothes, strewn in a crumpled pile, a metaphoric picture of how my heart felt at that moment.

  “Shit,” I muttered into the silence.

  I thought that I could do this. A one night thing he’d said, and I’d agreed. I’d lied and I knew I was lying when I said it. One night wasn’t going to be enough, not when my heart had belonged to Jesse Connor from the minute I’d seen him.

  Jesse

  I scrubbed a hand down my face and groaned quietly. What the hell was I thinking, fucking her on Momma’s table? What was I thinking, fucking her like that? I looked down at my dick that was starting to stir again as I recalled how it’d felt when her muscles tightened around me. The shower I’d just taken may have scrubbed away the sweet vanilla of her perfume, but it couldn’t erase that feeling. When she came, screaming my name, no drug in the
world could have made me feel as high or as invincible.

  I finished drying off and put my clothes back on, taking my time because I was the biggest pussy in the world. Normally I wasn’t a man to shy away from my mistakes; I didn’t skulk away like a criminal the morning after. Always tell the girl that it was great but it wasn’t happening again, be up front about things, that was my take on one night stands. This thing with Millie though, shit, it was different. I couldn’t face her; I couldn’t go down there and help her clean up the mess in the kitchen. I couldn’t do it, not because I was ashamed, but because I was scared. Scared that she would see in my eyes how much I wanted to do it again.

  Looking at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes went to my neck, where I usually wore Melody’s ring. After that day at the corral, the day that I’d realized my daughter needed me, I’d taken it off and put it in a box in my cabin. A box that had pictures and memories of Melody inside. Addy had her box of hearts, I had my box of memories. That’s all she was now, a memory, a memory that hurt like fuck. A memory that at times made me ache with loneliness and grief. My hand instinctively went to my chest, over my heart where the pain was; only it wasn’t as bad. Letting Addy in had eased it.

  “Fuck it,” I muttered as I opened the bathroom door and made my way downstairs.

  When I got to the kitchen, Millie was dressed and was washing down the floor. A black trash bag sat next to the table, with what I guessed was the broken glass and Momma’s broken dish.

  “Hey, I’ll do that,” I said, taking the mop from Millie’s hand

  “Jesse, it’s fine.”

  She gave me a small smile and she looked so beautiful that I wanted to kiss her, but I didn’t. I just took the mop from her and cleaned up my mess.