Box of Hearts (The Connor's Series Book 1)

by Nikki Ashton

  “Say you need to get something from your things in the barn,” he whispered. “Leave the flashlight here and don’t go in, but wait for me outside.”

  “Why?” I questioned, breathily.

  “I think you know why,” he murmured quietly and then pulled away from me.

  I gave Jesse a short nod and watched as he joined his dad and brother in the living room. My heart was thudding fast and hard and the expectancy of what we were going to do meant that I was already wet.

  Jesse

  Millie had been gone about two or three minutes, when I ‘spotted’ the flashlight still sitting on the side table next to the door. It was next to the basket where we kept the keys, exactly the place where you would leave it by accident. I smiled at her smart thinking.

  “She’s left the damn flashlight,” I groaned, pushing up from the couch.

  Dad looked over at it and sighed. “You want me to take it? You said you were going up.”

  “Nah, I probably should check on Turner’s horse anyway. He was a little restless when I stabled him earlier.”

  I turned away so that they couldn’t see the grin on my face. There was nothing restless about that horse anymore; he’d been one of the easier ones to break.

  “Okay,” Dad yawned. “I’m gonna go up myself. Garratt, don’t stay up too late, son. We’re helping out with the branding and vaccinating tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, I’m coming, too. I need my beauty sleep seeing as boss man over there is having another easy day with his horsey.”

  I turned to see Garratt grin at me and I gave him one back. We were getting back on track and it was good to be friends with my brother again.

  “Night guys,” I called and snatched up my keys and the flashlight. Locking the door behind me, I ran down the porch steps towards the barn. My pulse was racing and my dick was already hard.

  I knew that I shouldn’t be doing this, but she was so damn well addictive. This was nothing like Angie. Fucking Angie once had been a mistake, doing it three times was a disastrous decision of monumental standards, but this with Millie didn’t feel like that. It was still just fucking, no emotions involved, but she wasn’t just another lay. I liked her as a friend, and as long as we could keep it on that level then there was no reason why this wouldn’t work. I decided that I was going to suggest it to her; maybe not use the phrase fuck buddies, but that’s what we’d be if she agreed.

  As I approached the barn, I could see Millie, her back to me, pacing up and down, her arms wrapped around herself against the chill that the breeze had brought with it.

  “Why didn’t you put a jacket on?” I said as I reached her.

  “Oh shit, you scared me,” she gasped.

  Taking hold of her hand, I dragged her to my side and continued walking.

  “Where are we going?” she asked, jogging to keep up with me.

  “The cabin. You didn’t think I’d fuck you in the barn did you?”

  Who the hell was I kidding? I’d had every intention of fucking her in the barn, then I’d seen her beautiful features, the curve of that spectacular ass, and her amazing rack and I knew I couldn’t explore that body how I wanted to. Not on a dirty sheet of tarpaulin surrounded by boxes of shit that no one had a use for. Besides which, she was too classy for that. Okay, so I’d had her against the barn and on Mom’s kitchen table, but now she deserved more, so my bed was about to become the altar where I’d worship Armalita Braithwaite.

  Millie

  I didn’t have time to survey the cabin, because as soon as we were inside, Jesse had me pushed up against a wall and was kissing the breath from my body.

  As he pushed his tongue inside my mouth, my hands went into his hair, pulling at it. My hips bucked forwards, desperate for some friction to ease the throbbing between my legs. Jesse’s hand pushed under my t-shirt and gently kneaded my breast, eliciting a moan of pleasure from me.

  “Millie,” he groaned and pulled his mouth from mine.

  “What’s wrong?” I gasped, the anxiety that he’d changed his mind overwhelming me.

  “You drive me crazy, Armalita. I’m so damn addicted to you and your pussy that I can’t think straight.”

  “So,” I breathed out, taking his mouth in a kiss. “Don’t think, just do.”

  Jesse pulled back again. “I know I said one night, but I can’t help myself and I don’t want to give you any idea that this is going to be more than it is.”

  His soft eyes gazed at me as his hands gently framed my face, pushing back my hair. Then he let out a long exhale before kissing the end of my nose. My heart stopped as he opened his mouth to say something. I just knew he was going to tell me to go back to the house.

  “No Jesse, I’m not leaving,” I cried, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist.

  His mouth lifted into a smile. “I wasn’t going to say that. I couldn’t let you leave now even if my life depended on it.”

  “What were you going to say then?” I asked.

  “I was going to ask you how you’d handle us being friends, but adding sex into the equation. No strings, just friendship and sex.”

  My pride should have told me to tell him no, it wasn’t what I wanted, but after being stood up at the altar I had very little of that left. More importantly my body was screaming at me to agree. My skin was on fire, my clit was throbbing, as usual my nipples ached they were so hard, and boy, I was wet. I could do this. I was a twenty-six year old woman who had barely got to first base in almost two years.

  “The sex has to be mutual, not just on your terms,” I replied, trying to sound controlled, when all I really wanted to do was be fucked by Jesse whenever and wherever he liked.

  “I’m never going to force you, if that’s what you mean,” he growled.

  “That’s not what I meant. I mean I have needs, too, and if you’re one of these old-fashioned men that doesn’t like a woman taking control and asking for sex, well then we may have a problem.”

  I bit on my lip to stop it from trembling. I had never taken control where sex was concerned, ever. But this man, he made me want to push the boundaries and I knew that I needed to hide my insecurities where he was concerned. He could never see that I was hanging on his every word, his every movement, just to be able to have snatched moments with him. Jesse needed to think that I was as in control of the situation, and my emotions, as he was.

  “Well?” I pushed. “Is this all going to be about your wants and needs, or do I get a say in things, too?”

  I held onto his arms, gripping the cliff edge, hoping not to fall off if he told me ‘no’.

  “You need me any time at all, then just fucking say,” he groaned before taking my mouth in a feverish kiss.

  With a tangle of arms and hands, we practically ripped each other’s clothes off, panting in unison as our need for each other sky rocketed with each piece of clothing that fell to the floor.

  “Fuck,” Jesse groaned, as he ran his hands down the sides of my naked body. “You’re damn near perfect.”

  With one hand in my hair, he cupped one of my breasts with the other, pushing it up to meet his mouth. He sucked hard on my nipple, increasing the ache between my legs. As his tongue continued to lick and torment me, I arched my back, urging him to suck harder. Jesse’s mouth latched on and as he gave me what I needed, I whimpered and moaned, grabbing his hair and pushing his head closer. I rolled onto my tip toes and started to slowly thrust against his thigh, trying to gain some relief.

  Suddenly I was being lifted, and my legs were around Jesse’s waist. I continued to move my hips, and with every thrust, my clit hit his hard cock, causing an electric pulse to throb throughout my body, ending its journey between my legs. Jesse started walking across the room, and then climbed onto his bed. My legs were still wrapped around his waist, his mouth was still on mine, and my arms were still coiled around his neck. Slowly, he laid me down and only then did he stop kissing me.

  His head dipped back to my breasts and this time he took the other one
into his mouth, grazing his teeth against it. I drew in a breath as he pulled the nipple into his mouth and sucked on it, hard and long.

  Jesse’s hand feathered down my body and dipped between my legs. His calloused fingers brushed against my swollen nub and when I moaned, Jesse drew in a ragged breath.

  “Perfect,” he whispered against the swell of my breast. “So fucking wet for me.”

  His words, so deep and dirty, sent another thrill of desire straight to where his fingers were playing with me, and already the pressure was building. Jesse pushed two fingers inside and I started to pulse around them. As I clutched at the bed covers beneath me, Jesse kissed down my body, dropping sweet, and feather lights kisses on my sensitive skin.

  “Your skin is so damn soft.”

  “Oh God, Jesse.” I pushed my hips up, desperate for more.

  Jesse kissed a trail along my hip bone, down my leg, and then on the inside of my thigh, all while his fingers gently stroked my inner wall. With a groan, he pulled out of me and pushed my legs apart, his hands on my inner thighs.

  I lifted my head to look at him, to savor the view of his hard and toned body kneeling in front of me. As I devoured the sight of his deep V, slim waist, and broad shoulders, Jesse watched me, his breathing uneven and his eyes dark. Taking hold of his hard length, Jesse pumped it, while his other hand rested on my bent knee, keeping my legs apart. He lowered himself down, so that his mouth was inches from mine, and kissed me tenderly at the corner of my mouth and then down to my neck, before coming back to my mouth. One more kiss, a gentle nip of my chin, and he pushed into me.

  As his hips started their rhythm, Jesse reached for my hands and pushed my arms above my head, entwining his fingers with mine. His eyes never left mine as his long, languorous thrusts pushed me to the brink. Neither of us spoke as we continued to move in unison, instinctively building up the speed of our thrusts, chasing our orgasms.

  “Fuck, Millie,” Jesse groaned, and gripping my hips, flipped us over so that I was straddling him.

  My head dropped back so that my hair skimmed against my calves. Jesse’s hips thrust upwards while his hand moved to my clit. His thumb circled it and I could feel myself starting to fall into ultimate pleasure.

  “I need more, Jesse,” I cried.

  Jesse pulled himself into a sitting position and gripped my hips. His mouth found mine and his tongue darted in and out of my mouth in time with his cock moving in and out of my pussy. His movement was hard and quick and when he started to shake beneath me, I knew that he was almost there. Jesse’s hand pushed between us and his fingers moved against my swollen clit once more. I came with one single stroke.

  “Oh shit,” I screamed. “Jesse, fuck!”

  As I grasped his shoulders, Jesse gasped, his hips jerked, and then he shuddered.

  “Millie!”

  Still inside me, Jesse fell back onto the bed, pulling me on top of his chest. We were both breathing heavily and were covered in a light sheen of sweat. I lay on top of Jesse, my hands gripping the pillow on either side of his head. Jesse moved my hair from shoulder, and dropped a kiss on it.

  “That was unbelievable,” he whispered against my damp skin.

  “Hmm,” I mumbled, against his ear. “I think I’ve lost the use of my legs.”

  “Yeah?” he chuckled and started to trace circles on the small of my back.

  “Yep. Do you think paralysis by cock is a real medical condition?”

  “Maybe, honey, maybe.”

  We lay like that for a few more minutes and as Jesse continued to stroke my skin, I almost believed that I’d broken through. We were so sated and peaceful, just like any normal couple who had just had mind blowing sex. Deep down, though, I knew nothing had changed. We would get dressed, go back to the house, and I would continue to fall while Jesse continued to cling on; breaking my heart in the process. But even that wouldn’t stop me from doing this again and again, because a little bit of Jesse was better than none at all.

  Jesse

  I was seriously fucked. The gorgeous woman lying on top of me was working her way into my fucking heart, and I really should stop it; it was not an option. I had Addy to think about, and Millie wasn’t staying. Besides, all we were was comfort for each other to get through our own heartache. The guy who ditched her may have been a dick, but just two months ago she was in love with him. She must be devastated. Then there was me and my fucking problems. I still had feelings for my dead wife, and in what world was that even sane? I knew that I needed to move on, but the thought of falling in love again and possibly losing those feelings and memories wasn’t something that I was willing to do. Especially not with Millie. Addy already loved her and it was going to hit her hard when Millie left; I would need to be there for my baby girl, not wallowing in my own fucking grief like I had over Melody.

  No, I should stop it before we went any further. Then she made a little circular motion with her hips, causing my dick to go hard again.

  Yep, I was seriously fucked.

  Millie

  After another quick round of sex, Jesse and I made our way back to the house. We walked back in silence, but it was comfortable. Jesse wasn’t ignoring me because he was regretting what we’d done. At least I didn’t think he was. He’d winked at me as we’d got dressed and then as we sneaked past the bunk house he held my hand, dragging me along. He hadn’t let go straight away, only as we approached the barn near to the house.

  “Oh bugger,” I hissed. “I need to get something from my boxes to take in.”

  “Ah fuck, I forgot about that.” Jesse looked to the house and then the barn. “Hey, don’t worry about it, they were going up when I left.”

  “How long have we been gone?”

  He fished his phone out of his pocket and looked at it. “Shit, almost an hour and a half.”

  “Oh God, your mum is going to know exactly what we’ve been up to,” I groaned.

  I could see from the light of his phone that Jesse was a little perplexed.

  “Firstly, she’s sleeping and secondly, why would she even think that something was going on between us?”

  “Oh shit,” I muttered, looking down at the ground.

  “Millie?” Jesse ducked his head to look up at me.

  “She knows about us.” I grimaced and chewed on my bottom lip. “She saw us against the barn that day.”

  “You have got to be joking,” he hissed.

  I shook my head. “And she knows something happened while they were away. She found the broken dish and bottles in the rubbish.”

  “How the fuck does some trash prove that I fucked you?” he asked incredulously.

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “She’s a very astute woman, obviously.”

  “Did you tell her?” he demanded.

  “No! I didn’t tell her, why would I do that?”

  There was no way I would have risked my job by telling Bonnie that I’d shagged her son in her kitchen. Thankfully, she’d taken it well, but that was probably because she had no idea about what had gone down on the family breakfast table.

  “I don’t know, maybe you thought you’d get her on your side and she’d persuade me that we should be something more than fuck buddies.”

  My mouth dropped open as I stared up at him. “What did you just say?”

  “You heard me,” he replied, widening his stance and putting fisted hands to his hips.

  “I think I heard you say that I told her because I’m desperate to be more than your fuck on the side.”

  “Those were not my words, Millie.” Jesse shook his head and sighed.

  “They may as well have been, you egotistical prick.”

  “Seeing us against the barn, yeah, I can understand that, but how the hell does she know what happened while they were getting Auntie Ruby? Come on Millie, you tell me.”

  He inclined his head, putting a cupped hand behind his ear waiting to hear what I had to say.

  “I did not tell her, she put two and two together by t
he words that I used, and she asked if the rubbish had anything to do with it,” I hissed in a controlled tone, despite the fact that I was actually boiling inside.

  “So you did tell her. Fucking great.” Jesse waved his arms in the air and made to go to the house.

  “I didn’t actually say the words,” I snarled. “I said we’d never done anything when Addy was around. She had already said she’d seen us by the barn, but assumed that you were just kissing me.”

  Jesse turned and stalked back to me. “Well to me that’s as good as telling her. Great, Millie, just great. Now I’m going to be getting a damn lecture every day on why I should just move on from my wife and give you and me a chance. Well let me tell you this, sweetheart.” Jesse moved closer and pointed a finger close to my face. “It ain’t happening. You will never take her place, no matter how much you suck up to my Mom or ingratiate yourself with my daughter. You may be a great fuck, Armalita, but that’s it.”

  With that, he stormed off and ran up the porch steps, letting himself into the house, with a slam of the door. I stood frozen to the spot, not able to move or process what had just happened. The horrible words that had spewed from his mouth had left me feeling sick to my stomach. The tears fell slowly, and the crushing pain of my heart took my breath away. Standing alone in the silence of the night, I swiped at the wetness on my cheeks and decided that Jesse Connor didn’t deserve to be happy, and I hoped he never found peace.

  The next day, I woke up surprisingly refreshed. Despite how upset I’d been, I’d slept really well, better than I had done in days. Evidently, Jesse’s snide comments were no match for his sexual prowess when it came to my sleeping habits.

  That being said, I was still in a rage with him and I was thankful he hadn’t shown his face at breakfast. According to Bonnie, he’d gone out early with the boys before coming back to the corral mid-morning. Thankfully, I had no reason to go around there, so steered clear, because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to hold my temper.