Unexpected Protector (Isthmus Alliance)
Page 17
“Dylan, forgive me, but if this is your way of trying to say a few words to get me to forget all the times you treated me like I was the scum of the Earth, we should probably just stop now.” I’m amazed when I see her gaze lift so she’s staring directly into my eyes, her shoulders squared.
“I should say thank you for everything you’ve done for me because I wouldn’t be where I am today without your financial support, but we both know you only did that because of Tasha. If not for her, you would have gladly let me die on that sidewalk. You wouldn’t have given half a shit if I got sober or not. And you sure as fuck wouldn’t have offered to loan me the money for school.”
As much as I’m tempted to tell her to stop throwing her tantrum, she’s right on every single point. For as much as I sit there and preach acceptance of others and the importance of supporting each other through the hard times, I would have let her self-destruct if not for my love for Tasha. I couldn’t stand the way it hurt her to see what Holly was doing to herself, so I selfishly decided to do the one thing I was able to do to fix the situation. By paying to get Holly’s life back on track, I figured Tasha would see the lengths I was going to in order to ensure her happiness. Damn, I’m feeling like a bigger sack of shit than I have in a long time as this petite, free spirit puts me in my place.
“And I’m not as stupid as you seem to think,” she continues, glaring at me. “I’ve heard you and Tommy talking. I know you think he’s a moron for being with someone as fucked up as me. You told him one night that I’m going to slice him open emotionally the same way I did Tasha. That I’m going to soak him for everything I can and leave him to pick up the pieces when I fall off the wagon.”
“Holly, I’m not going to insult your intelligence by denying anything you’ve just said. But again, I’m sitting here trying to tell you that I fucked up. I was wrong.” This girl is busting my balls and I’m not sure I’m going to be able to accomplish what I set out to do.
“So that’s it? You fucked up and I’m not the evil bitch you’ve made me out to be?” She cracks her neck once in each direction as she reloads for her next assault. “Thank you, but it’s going to take more than words for me to buy that. For one thing, your hatred for me is killing the two people I care about more than anyone else in my life. You need to show them that you’ve had a change of heart.”
“And how, exactly, do you propose that I do that?” It’s official; I’ve lost control of this little meeting. My head is spinning so fast, I’m beginning to feel dizzy.
“I don’t know,” she admits. “I guess that’s going to be up to you to figure out.”
That’s the moment I decide to completely ignore most of what I wanted to tell her. I had planned on explaining why it upset me so much to see how everything went down from the time I met Tasha to the night at Nick’s house. I realize I wasn’t going to do that for her, that was all for me. I am the one who needed to justify my actions and have her see what I was feeling. Now, I get the distinct feeling that no matter what I felt, she felt it worse. But I still have a job to do here.
“Thank you for your honesty. I will think about it and I will try to make things right for everyone.” I stop talking, knowing that I’m about to ask her something she has every right to refuse me. “Now, can I ask you a question?”
She shrugs, coming across as uninterested in what I have to say. “Sure,” she says without any feeling.
“First, I want you to know I’m going to do everything I can to make things right. I see now that you’re well on your way to a better life. I’m hoping that will include Tasha and Tommy for a long time to come. And just maybe, you and I will eventually be in a place where we actually like one another.
She lets out a forced laugh, but I do know enough about Holly to know she wouldn’t have given me that if she weren’t at least thinking about what I said.
“Right now, I feel like the money I’ve given you for treatment and school are probably some of the soundest investments I’ve ever made. With the support network you have available to you now, I don’t see any way for you to fail.”
“Well thank you for the pep talk, Mister Caprese. You know, I think you missed your calling. You could have been a high school guidance counselor with that ability to spew bullshit.” She flags down the waitress for another glass of water.
The fact that I have this coming to me doesn’t stop me from getting pissed off with the attitude she’s throwing around. The worst part is, this is nothing compared to the old Holly.
“Gee, thanks,” I grumble, not knowing what else to say. Tonight is not about getting into a pissing contest to see which of us is carrying around the bigger set of balls. “Now, I need your help…”
Oh, this is rich. How can Dylan seriously think that I’m going to want to help him after he acted like I was a freak for so long? Even after I started to get clean, he acted as if I was unworthy to be in the presence of him or anyone he is close to.
“Why would I want to help you?” The question is out before I have a chance to think about my words. Because, you ungrateful bitch, he helped you when he hated you. Maybe you need to chill the fuck out.
“How much has Tommy told you about his family?” Knowing how Tommy feels about his family, I’m surprised by the somber look washing over Dylan’s face as he speaks.
“Not a lot. I know his mom coddles him because he’s the baby. Having her is like having a house fairy. She comes in while we’re gone, cooks, cleans, and leaves before we get home. And I know he looks up to Zeke like a big brother.”
I see Dylan’s Adam’s apple dip as he swallows hard. Now I’m beginning to worry. Is something going on with Zeke? The thought of anything happening to Zeke is enough to make me cry. I don’t know him that well, but between Tommy and Tasha, I know he’s a good man. A somewhat confused and messed up man who compensates for his shortcomings, but a good man nonetheless.
“Has he ever mentioned Maria to you?”
My heart races almost as fast as my mind. Suddenly, the fact that I’ve never heard him talk about anyone named Maria bothers me. I know he has four sisters: Annabelle, Elizabeth, Sophia, and Nicole. No Maria. She could be a cousin; his family is so big, there’s no way I would remember all of them if I tried. But whoever this Maria person is, Dylan seems to feel she’s significant enough that I should know who she is.
“No,” I say softly, insecurity building in my chest. I push away thoughts of Tommy having a wife or girlfriend I don’t know about. There’s no way he could be there for me the way he is if he had someone else.
Dylan shakes his head, which I can see is developing a sheen of sweat despite the fact that it’s cool in the nearly empty club. Seeing him so nervous does nothing for my over-active imagination.
“Okay, he’s probably going to be pissed that I’m telling you this, but you’ll realize soon enough that you need to know…”
As Dylan starts telling me the story, my heart begins to shatter for Tommy. I can’t imagine what it had to be like to be nine years old and have your parents tell you that your oldest sister, the one who was almost like a mother to you, is gone. Tears fill my eyes and I do nothing to stop them.
Then Dylan drops the real bombshell of the story; his brother was Maria’s boyfriend. He was the one responsible for the accident. Dylan’s jaw is tense and I know this was a life-changing event for him as well.
“Where is he?” I ask. This is the first I’ve heard that Dylan has a brother. It’s not as if I should know that much about his family, but given how close Tommy, Zeke, and Dylan are, I’m curious. I can’t figure out how their bond is so strong with the history between their families.
“He left not long after it happened,” Dylan says sadly. “He blamed himself for the accident. Holly, you have to know, he loved Maria more than life. He was such a fucking pussy when it came to her. He wanted nothing more than for the two of them to go to the same college so they could get an apartment and then get married after they had a year of school behind them
. Liam used to be the one who had everything together. I looked up to him, and then he let one mistake set off a snowball that couldn’t be stopped.”
Dylan’s watching the door, jumping every time someone walks in. “Are you okay? Expecting something bad to happen again?” My attempt to lighten the mood falls flat. It was a shitty thing for me to say, I know that, but I’m honestly speechless.
“Sorry, yes. That’s another thing I should have apologized for. I wasn’t thinking when I said we should meet here.” The old me would have been smirking at how uncomfortable Dylan is right now, but given everything he’s said in the past hour, I’m starting to see him as a friend. It will take time, but there are reasons for why he felt the way he did about me.
I reach out for his hands, holding them in mine. Regardless of the history, our lives are twisted together like two trees in an overgrown forest. I know deep in my heart that I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that, God willing, he and I fix our friendship so we can create a strong bond that will only help our respective relationships.
“It’s okay, Dylan. We both have a ton of baggage in our pasts. It seems to me that your issues and mine create some sort of perfect storm. Maybe it’s time both of us leave that at the door and move on with our lives.”
Before Dylan can respond, the door opens again. This time, I’m stunned to the point where I can’t move a muscle. My eyes dart from the door to my dinner companion and I know my world is about to tilt again.
Liam has always been obsessed with being on time. So much so that he was the first kid to school on most days because he worried something would hold him up and he would wind up late. I was really hoping that with everything I’ve heard about his downward spiral he would have become a little less concerned with punctuality.
It’s only fitting that, with the way my night is going, he would be even earlier than normal. I look over at Holly and see the exact moment she realizes why I’ve been telling her about the night Liam and Maria had their accident. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell Tommy that my brother was coming back to the area for the past month. Liam didn’t want him to know, but I really think he deserves time to prepare mentally for what’s to come.
Liam called three days after Tommy and I met up at Ale Asylum and said he needed a place to crash until he figures out where he’s going to land. I knew it was going to cause problems, but I have faith that Zeke and Tommy will understand the bond of brotherhood and we’ll all be able to move on. I would say that the accident was so long ago they need to get over it, and I do feel that way, but at the same time, their sister/cousin is the one who is dead while my brother is the one who just walked through the door.
I stand, making my way across the empty dance floor. Luckily, my desire to keep things between Holly and me private in case we blew up at one another means there’s more distance between the table and us when I reach him. I haven’t seen Liam in so long that I’m overcome with emotion.
I throw my arms around the man who could almost be my mirror image. “It’s good to see you, brother,” I choke out. “You look good.”
“You too, little man.” We both laugh at him calling me ‘little man’. He’s always called me that, but it’s an odd thing to be called when you’re over six feet tall. He pulls back, taking a long look at me. I wonder if he’s shocked by how much everything about us has stayed the same despite the time apart. We’re still true Irish twins. Except now that we’re both grown men, we could easily pass as identical twins. From the jeans and loafers to our bald heads, we’re the spitting image of one another. “It’s been too long.”
I fight the urge to tell him he’s the reason it’s been so long. He was the one who ran away from his problems. As glad as I am to have him standing in front of me after a few years spent wondering if and when we were going to get the phone call that something had happened to him, the hurt young man still lives inside of me. If I feel this way, how in the hell can I expect Tommy and Zeke to get past their much deeper issues?
“We’ll talk about that later. For now, I want you to meet someone.” It’s not lost on me how unusual it is that I’m introducing these two. Tasha’s going to be pissed when she hears that Holly met my brother before her, but I have confidence in my girl that she’ll see that this is something I had to do. Holly is the only person I know who will be able to keep Tommy in check when I finally tell him. And now that Liam is back, I have to tell him. Soon.
Holly’s eyes are glued to us as we make our way to her. I’m not shocked by that, she has known for all of maybe thirty minutes that I have a brother, and I never got around to the part of the story where even Tommy didn’t realize I wasn’t Liam the first time we met.
“Holly, I’d like you to meet Liam. Liam, this is Holly.” I watch the two shake hands and lift up a silent prayer that this isn’t all a huge mistake.
“Damn, little man, you did good. She’s fucking adorable!” I’m not sure which throws me off guard more; the fact that he thinks Holly is my girlfriend or that he is no longer the soft spoken, polite man he was before.
“Oh hell no,” Holly retorts. “Dylan and I can barely stand to be in the same room together, much less think about bumping uglies.” She and Liam burst out laughing. I would be pissed, but given the fact that every ounce of tension left the room in that one disturbing sentence, I choose to go with it.
Liam sits down with us and I let him know that Holly is Tommy’s girlfriend. That signals a serious mood shift in the room. In some ways, I think Tommy is part of the reason he took things as hard as he did. When Liam was dating Maria, I was almost jealous of the kid. They took him to the movies, amusement parks, out to dinner, and just about anywhere else. It seemed strange to me until Liam admitted they did that because if Tommy got to ride along on some of their dates, they could have more time together because her parents figured nothing would happen with Tommy between them. Fucked up logic, but it does make sense in a way.
“How’s he doing?” Liam asks, staring at the table. There seems to be a lot of that going on tonight. It’s obvious we’re all reserved, almost scared to move forward due to the weight of the past.
“He’s good,” I tell Liam. Holly’s eyes dart to mine, almost daring me to say the wrong thing. The problem is, for once in my life, I’m not sure what to say. “He’s taking a break from work, trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Liam laughs. “That boy had it all sorted when he was still in diapers. Being a cop was the only thing he ever wanted to do.”
I just about lose it when Liam points out how much Tommy used to dream about being a cop. I know he says he didn’t quit because of me, but to hear how much passion Tommy used to have, I’m thrown back into uncertainty. It wouldn’t be the first time a guy allowed his cock to make decisions instead of his brain.
I see Dylan tense and I know he’s thinking the same thing I am. Tommy’s lifelong dream went to shit because of the fucked up junkie.
“Excuse me,” I say, pushing my chair away from the table. “I need some air.”
Dylan reaches out to me, but I shrug him off. He’s never shown me compassion in the past, I’ll be damned if he’s going to start now. I race down the hall, shoving open the door to the women’s room. It’s the only place I can go where they won’t follow me.
Once the door slams behind me, I know I’ve made a huge mistake.
“Sorry, guess I was in a hurry,” Tasha apologizes. My heart races. This is going to be my only chance to get her out of here. I hesitate, knowing Nathan has no clue Tasha and I bumped into one another.
A good friend would rather die than betray the person responsible for the only happy moments in her life. I used to think I was a good friend. Now, I know I’m worthless. I pray that, if it comes down to it, the decision is taken out of my hands because as much as I don’t want to hurt Tasha, I can’t take the abuse Nick will dish out if I don’t follow through on this promise.