“Say something,” he urges me.
“Do you mean that?” I ask, needing to know he meant the words before I can repeat them to him.
“Yes, every word. I’m stupidly in love with you. I think I loved you even when you were trying to kick me out of your hospital room every day, but that was a different kind of love.” His mouth crashes against mine, devouring me in a quick, heated kiss. “Since the day you moved in here, I’ve watched you find yourself. I see how hard you’re working and how much happier you are now. You’re an incredibly strong woman. You weren’t when you first got here, but you’ve found that strength and it’s sexy as hell.”
I ignore the erection I feel pressing against my thigh, needing this time with him. There will be plenty of time after we’re done talking, but for once in my life, I want this very moment to be perfect.
“That’s because of you,” I say with another quick kiss. “You taught me how to be strong. You kept insisting that I was worth it, even when I didn’t think that was the case. You have molded me into the woman I am.”
Tommy shakes his head. “No, you did all of that. The only thing I did was refuse to give up on you and I would do it a thousand times if my reward is having you with me.”
Tonight is turning out to be like the most insane roller coaster ever designed. I’ve plummeted deeper than I have in a long time, only to unexpectedly fly higher than I could have ever planned. Telling Holly I’m in love with her wasn’t in my original plans, but I meant every word. She needs to know how I feel about her because I know we’re both going to be tested, and we need to be able to rely on one another.
My hand moves between our bodies, sliding along her silky skin until my hand lands on her breast. I gently knead her flesh before pinching her nipple sharply between my fingers, and my cock twitches when she moans.
“Tell me that you’re mine,” I demand. I need the reassurance that she’s not going to run away now that I’ve told her how I feel about her.
“Always yours, Sir,” she sighs, making my stomach do a flip. “I’ll be yours as long as you’ll have me. I love you.”
“Baby, I don’t want you to say it simply because I did,” I scold her. I would rather never hear those words cross her lips again than be left at some point in the future wondering if she ever truly meant them.
When Holly moves to roll on top of me, I don’t stop her. We’ve been so caught up in playing and roles lately that it’s a fun change to just go with what comes naturally. “I’m not saying that I love you out of obligation. I love you because of everything you are. I love you because you’ve helped me become a more authentic person. I love you because you trust me enough to show me all of you, even the uncertain, vulnerable side that no one else gets to see.” She leans forward, landing open-mouth kisses up my chest and neck.
“I promised myself I would never fall in love again, but I love you because you’ve shown me that everything I thought about love before you was nothing. I may have thought I loved, but if what we have together is the real deal, I was deluding myself those other times.”
She hovers over me, running her nimble fingers through my hair, staring at me through hooded eyelids. “Thank you for loving me, Sir.”
As much as my heart and soul feel alive when she is formal, that’s not what tonight is about. Tonight, I want to show Holly that what we have isn’t about D/s; it’s about two consenting adults wanting to be together.
“Holly, look at me,” I plead. “Tonight, I’m not Sir, I’m just Tommy. Can you handle that?”
A single tear forms in the corner of her eye and I’m worried I’ve pushed her too far. It’s funny to me how I can sense her limits when we’re playing, but not when we’re simply enjoying the company of one another.
“Yes, Tommy,” she responds as she lays down on top of me. “I’d like that.”
While this isn’t the first time we’ve had sex without the kink, it is the first time we’ve made love. I run my hands down her sides and pull the tank top off her body. She pushes herself up enough for the cotton to slide between our bodies before relaxing on my chest again. I can feel her heart racing just as much as my own.
I roll her body off of mine, and bend over, taking one breast tenderly in my hand while my tongue traces circles around the other tight bud. My free hand slides down her body, my fingers dipping beneath the waistband of her panties. Her hips arch off the bed, begging me to satisfy the yearning I know she is feeling right now.
“Patience,” I laugh, my hand retreating to her stomach. As I start kissing and nibbling her neck, her hand dives into my sweatpants, her fingers wrapping firmly around my throbbing cock.
“If you’re just Tommy and I’m just Holly, I don’t have to wait for your permission,” she laughs. One finger swiftly grazes the tip of my cock, collecting my pre-cum before returning her full attention to slowly stroking me from root to tip.
“Baby, you’re going to make this go too fast,” I warn her. “I want tonight to be special.”
“It already is,” she assures me. She slides away from me, lowering my pants as she goes. I swallow hard as her velvety lips wrap around my cock. Her tongue swirls around the tip and then down the shaft as she takes me deeper into her mouth.
She jerks back as I hit the back of her throat, but only long enough to catch her breath before taking me deep again, this time holding me there a moment longer. This continues and she pushes herself to take my cock down to the hilt in her mouth.
I jump when her fingernails lightly scrape against my balls, gripping them and pulling away from my body.
“Fuck, baby,” I moan, “That feels too good! Get up here before I blow down your throat.”
Without releasing me, she shakes her head while groaning in protest of my suggestion. The combination of everything hitting my frayed nerves has my balls drawing tight against my body.
“Please, baby,” I beg her. “Let me take care of you now.” She shakes her head again and continues sucking me hard and deep into her hot mouth. Before long, I can’t hold back any longer and my hips begin thrusting as I fuck her mouth to the very end. I feel lightheaded as I come harder than I can remember doing ever before. Every time she swallows what I give her, my cock jerks, releasing more into her waiting mouth.
My knees are weak, so I lie down on the bed and pull her back up to me. “You didn’t have to do that,” I say breathlessly.
“You make every night about me,” she replies. “Tonight, I wanted to give you what you needed.”
That’s all well and good, but there’s not a chance in hell I’m going to leave her wet and frustrated. I take a moment to regain my composure, slowly kissing her, holding her face in my hands. The taste of myself on her tongue sends me deeper into her mouth, driving my need to have more of her.
It doesn’t take long before my cock is coming back to life. I roll on top of Holly, and continue to kiss her face and neck, my hands running along her arms.
“You’re what I need,” I tell her, one hand moving between her thighs. As expected, she’s wet and soft, and I can feel her pussy throbbing with desire.
“This,” I say, thrusting two fingers deep inside her body, “is mine.” Her hips buck off the bed as I work her into a frenzy. I can feel her walls clenching around my fingers, forcing her essence to seep onto my hand.
“Yes, Tommy!” She screams as her body convulses in a powerful climax. “Only yours!”
Before she can calm down, I position myself over her, slowly entering her tight passage. The feeling of her body closing around me drives my own need higher and I have to resist the urge to fuck her fast and hard. Tonight needs to be slow and sensual, a complete claiming of both her body and soul.
“I love you, Tommy,” she says through ragged breaths. “Promise me you won’t leave me, please!”
“Never,” I assure her as I lift her legs onto my shoulders, allowing me deeper entrance. “I’m so gone for you I’m not sure I could leave if I wanted to.”
Holly reaches between our joined bodies, massaging her pert tits. I watch her pinch and tug, much in the same way I love doing to her, and it’s even more erotic to see her pleasuring herself this way. As she nears the pinnacle once again, my fingers land on her clit, rubbing in time with my quickening assault on her body. We climax in unison this time, her body gripping my cock tightly, milking every last drop of cum from me.
We fall asleep, our bodies tangled in an exhausted heap.
My body hitting the floor jerks me from a sated sleep. As I try to gather my wits, I hear Tommy moaning in his sleep, screaming for Maria.
“Tommy,” I whisper loudly, not wanting to touch him for fear of being on the receiving end of his thrashing limbs. “Tommy, wake up!”
Once he settles, I slide into the bed next to him, wrapping my arms around his torso. He’s now gripping the sheets, every muscle in his body rigid with fear.
“You’re safe, Tommy,” I say in a soothing tone. “It was just a dream.” I don’t need to ask what he was dreaming about. It’s apparent that he’s not dealing well with the emotions that were uncovered earlier tonight.
“When will I stop missing her?” Tommy cries. My heart breaks for him.
“Never,” I say honestly. Not only will he never forget Maria, he never should. I want to get him to see that it’s okay to remember, that she lives on through those memories of her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Tommy shakes his head, pulling me down onto the bed until I’m lying against his body. “Let’s sleep. Maybe in the morning I’ll be able to talk.”
I hate the fact that Tommy can’t find it in his heart to forgive Liam for the accident that killed Maria. It’s been almost two months since Liam came back to town. And every night since, I’ve woken to Tommy screaming for his big sister.
It feels as if more and more has been piling on top of us since the moment we became a couple. Luckily, I’m stubborn enough to fight for what I want and right now, Tommy is what I want. Unfortunately, I feel him slipping away from me the same way he’s withdrawing from everyone else.
The proverbial flashing neon sign for how bad things have gotten came this morning when Zeke called to ask me why Tommy wouldn’t answer his calls. If he’s slipped so far that he’s turning away the person he used to tell me was his rock, I fear there’s no hope of bringing him back.
“When was the last time you talked to him?” I ask as soon as Zeke sits down across from me. The warmth of the April air is a welcome change from the months of bitter cold we’ve recently left behind, so I opted to sit at one of the bistro tables lining the sidewalk in front of my favorite café on State Street. I’m so worried about Tommy that I can’t even enjoy watching the eclectic stream of pedestrian traffic the way I used to.
Zeke orders a latte as he shrugs off his jacket. “Over three weeks,” he responds. There’s sadness in his eyes, the same mellow whiskey color as his younger cousin’s. “Are you two still sickeningly in love?”
I hadn’t thought about the fact that he might be having second thoughts about us until Zeke brought it up. Now, I’m replaying every interaction between the two of us, trying to figure out if I might have done something to push him away. I can’t think of anything, but knowing me, I’m not so sure I would realize what I had done. Unfortunately, I’ve become somewhat of an expert at screwing up the good things in my life.
“I think so,” I say unconvincingly. “Honestly, I feel like we don’t talk much anymore. He’s having nightmares, Zeke. Bad ones. Once I get him to wake up, he goes down to the basement for the rest of the night. I’ve thought about moving back to my room. I’ve even brought it up to him, but he says that’s not an option.”
“Has he told you what they’re about?” Zeke leans in, whispering as if we’re discussing something top secret.
I shake my head. There’s a catch in my throat, the same one I feel every night when Tommy walks out on me.
“Would he talk to Jeff?” Zeke asks, pulling out his cell phone.
“I doubt it,” I sigh. “Zeke, I don’t know what he’s dreaming, but I do know it’s about Maria. He wakes up screaming for her. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me about her, hoping it would help but after a little bit the very first night, he closed himself off and told me there's no point in talking about it.”
“Dammit!” Zeke smacks his hand against the wrought iron tabletop. “I told Dylan and Liam this would happen. Look, I have an idea and I’m going to need your help. He needs to talk to someone. I love my aunt and uncle dearly, but they coddled him and he never dealt with losing her. Now, it’s coming back to bite him in the ass. I know our family well enough to know it’s going to keep eating away at him. If we can’t get through to him, he’s going to push us all away or he’ll run.”
“Well that’s reassuring,” I say sarcastically. “So what do you suggest?”
After sending a quick text message, Zeke turns his attention back to me. “I need you to tell him that you need to start seeing Jeff again. And I’m going to get Jeff to pull him in.”
“Isn’t it unethical to force him to see a shrink under false pretenses? Not to mention the fact that he knows I’m not having the same issues I was then. Why would I suddenly need to see my drug counselor again?”
As Zeke starts detailing a ruse to trick Tommy onto the therapist’s couch, I elevate Zeke to genius status in my mind. Yes, it’s totally shady, but it just might work. And I know it’s coming from a place of love on both of our parts, so I start to consider the proposition.
“Only one problem,” I point out. “How do we get Jeff to go along with this idea?”
“Don’t worry,” Zeke says with a wink. “I’ll get him to agree. Of course, we’ll have to do it at your house or my place so no one from the hospital starts asking questions.”
“Do what you have to and let me know,” I assure him. I don’t ask about the wink because I’m trying to focus on Tommy and I’m about to miss my Psych class. “Call me tonight. Right now, I have to catch a bus so I can get to class on time. Thanks for meeting me down here.”
Zeke grabs the check off the table and stands. “Grab your stuff. I’ll give you a ride.”
The old Holly would have refused because I saw accepting help as a sign of weakness back then. Now, I know I could be going to Chicago and Zeke would have made the same offer as long as he could spare the time away. It’s just the cloth these guys are cut from. They’ll do anything to help those in their inner circle, and by the grace of whatever higher power is up there, I’m part of that circle now.
Four nights later, I find myself pacing the kitchen as a pot of spaghetti is simmering on the stove. Tonight is the night I plan on convincing Tommy that I’m not handling the stress of school, sobriety and Nick’s upcoming trial. Zeke filled Tommy’s mom in on the plan and she spent much of the afternoon at the house, teaching me how to make her spaghetti sauce.
On more than one occasion, I had to fight back tears at the kindness of this woman I barely know. From what I’ve been told, she’s a very protective mother and doesn’t open up to those her children are dating until she’s good and ready. The fact that she somehow managed to envelope my entire body in a comforting embrace the moment she walked through the door meant the world to me. It also made me realize that my world will crumble to dust if I can’t get my Tommy back and I lose the support system that has been built around me without me without my knowledge.
My heart starts racing when I hear the garage door opening. The table is already set, so all that’s left to do is put the food on the table and light the candles.
“What’s all this?” Tommy asks gruffly when he comes in. I take a moment to admire his body. Since he hasn’t been working, he’s been spending much more time in the gym and it’s paying off. He was always in good shape, but now every muscle on his body is more defined. His calves and thighs are starting to bulk up a bit, balancing the halves of his body. I push back the thoughts of all the things I want to do with and to him. Hope
fully, there will be time for that later, but for now I need to stay focused.
Unexpected Protector (Isthmus Alliance) Page 20
