“Your mom came over today,” I tell him. “She taught me how to make sauce from scratch and we baked some bread.”
My body shudders as Tommy winds his arms around my waist from behind. It’s the first time he’s made unsolicited contact with me in almost two weeks. His lips brush against my cheek and I resist the urge to turn to him for more.
“It smells great!” He pulls out my chair, motioning for me to sit. He pulls a bottle of red wine out of the rack, followed by two glasses. “Did she tell you why she did this?”
I look at him, confused and a little hurt by his accusatory tone. He doesn’t sound happy about the fact that his mother went so far as to share family recipes with me. I wonder if that’s because he no longer sees us as being something that could last for more than a few months of fun.
“Hey,” he says softly, seeing me worrying my lower lip. He places the tip of his index finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him.
“I told you a long time ago, my mom has a thing for food. Yes, there are some things she does just because, but there are also meals we learned to recognize as having meaning. In this case, mom typically made spaghetti and garlic bread when she had bad news for us. Honestly, if she told you what’s going on, I would prefer to hear it from you right now because I can’t deal with her falling apart with being prepared for it.”
I choke on his words. “Tommy, it’s nothing with your mom,” I promise him. I’m second-guessing Zeke’s plan because I feel like I’m betraying Tommy in some way. The only thing that keeps me moving forward is knowing that he’s not himself right now and we need to get him to see that. “I’m the one who needed to talk to you. Your mom came over and said she wanted me to start learning how to make some of your favorite foods. I thought it was sweet.”
He’s staring at me, his mouth slightly agape. “What’s going on, Holly?”
“I think I need to start seeing Jeff again,” I blurt out before I overthink this to the point where I can’t follow through. “Between school, all these life changes and knowing that Nick’s trial is in a few months, it’s getting to be a bit much.”
Tommy moves around so he’s kneeling beside my chair. “Baby, I’m so sorry! I should have seen that you were having a hard time. I guess I’ve been so caught up in my own shit that I haven’t been paying attention to your needs.”
Great! Now I have him feeling as though I’m somehow calling him out as having failed me. “Tommy, it’s not your fault. I know you’re stressed out too. I’m a big girl and I need to learn how to stand on my own. That’s why I want to talk to him. But I didn’t want to do it without talking to you first.”
“It is my fault,” Tommy insists. “I made a promise to you that I would be here for you and help you through all of this. And now look, you’re coming to me, telling me that you’re trying to hold it all together and I’ve been so blinded that I’ve probably been making things even worse.”
“Tommy, stop!” This is so not going the way I had planned. The only good thing is I’m pretty sure he’ll do whatever I ask him because now he’s also beating himself up over me. I love him for that, but he really needs to realize that when I got together with him, it had nothing to do with needing him to coddle and protect me. “I didn’t tell you that so you could take it as you not giving me something I need. I told you because I won’t ever do anything without knowing that you understand what’s going on. I meant it when I promised you that I’d be an open book. But I would like it if you’d come with me.”
“Of course! You set up the appointment and I’ll make sure I’m there.” As he stands, he lightly kisses my forehead. It’s such a chaste move, but somehow, it manages to send a current through my entire body. It’s the same kiss he gives me when I’ve pleased him. It’s the kiss my body has learned to crave more than any other, because I’ve freely given him my submission and it’s his way of showing his appreciation for that devotion.
“Actually, I’m going to talk to him over at Zeke’s tomorrow night. He’s meeting me there because he knows I still don’t have insurance. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Tommy clears his plate, which is still more than half filled with uneaten food. I jump when his plate lands in the sink with a loud clatter.
“I don’t know, you just don’t seem thrilled with the idea.” Just when I thought things were going well, he’s turning back into himself, slamming cabinet doors, muttering under his breath about Zeke keeping secrets from him. The entire situation is making my head spin as I begin to feel like there’s more than just Liam and Maria bothering Tommy.
“It’s fine!” Tommy snaps. “I’m sorry, I’m just really tired. I shouldn’t take that out on you.”
Rather than push him to talk, which I know he’s expecting me to do, I move behind him and press my cheek against his back, my hands running under his shirt along his sculpted abs. “Then why don’t we finish cleaning up and go to bed?”
I seriously hate the person I’ve become over the past two months. I keep telling myself it’ll get better with time, but the closer Holly and I become, the worse my nightmares get. She’s the first woman I’ve truly allowed into my heart and it’s scaring the shit out of me. What’s worse is I’m now letting her down because of my own demons.
“That sounds good, baby,” I say as I turn to face her. She doesn’t deserve this. She needs a man who will stand strong next to her, treating her like the treasure she is. I cover her mouth with mine, praying she can feel my need for her. Somewhere along the way, she gained the strength to lift me up in ways she may never comprehend. “Why don’t you go run a bath and I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
“I can help you clean up,” she says sweetly. The melodic sound of her voice fortifies me.
“Holly, if I wanted you to clean the kitchen, I would have told you so,” I warn her. I watch as the corner of her mouth quirks into a sly smile, her body nearly vibrating with anticipation. “Unless you’d like to be punished for talking back to me, I highly suggest you go upstairs and relax. You deserve at least that much for spending the entire day with my mother.”
As much as I love my mom, I know she isn’t the easiest to get along with. Knowing that Holly had to have handled the older woman with grace since I didn’t get a phone call telling me every minute negative personality trait my mother found in her, things had to have gone remarkably well. That’s a first, seeing as Mom doesn’t think anyone is good enough for any of us kids.
I watch Holly walk out of the kitchen with a very deliberate sway in her hips. As I watch her tight ass move from side to side, all I can think of is how badly I want to grab her, squeezing her firm cheeks as I pound into her body. The way she opened up to me tonight made me realize that although I’ve drifted, she still craves those times when I demand her submission to me. If she didn’t, I know she wouldn’t have talked about needing to tell me before she does something. It’s not her style most of the time, but it is with me. I’m an incredibly blessed man to have earned that from her.
As I walk up the stairs a few minutes later, I see the warm glow of candlelight casting shadows into the dark hallway. Upon entering the bedroom, I see some of Holly’s favorite toys laid out neatly at the foot of the bed.
“Are you trying to top me, Babygirl?” I call out to her. “You know what happens to bad girls, right?”
“Indeed, I do,” she answers mischievously from the bathroom.
When she enters the bedroom, she’s wearing a short black silk robe. I reach for the tie, allowing the front to open, revealing her bare body to me. “You’re beautiful, even if you are a brat.”
I kiss her deeply, running my hands along her sides, my thumbs lightly grazing her taut nipples. Her head lolls back at the sensation, her body begging for more. I take one breast in each hand, gently massaging at first to relax her. Just as she gets used to the sensual caress, I pinch her nipples hard, pulling away from her body. She cries out in pain for a split second before I feel every muscle in her
body relax.
It’s in this moment that I have to fight to stay in the scene. My heart aches for Holly because I’ve neglected this part of her that I spent so much time coaxing to the surface. Rather than dwell on that, I release her long enough to pick up the blindfold.
“We won’t be needing this tonight,” I tell her, tossing the silk toward the corner of the room. “Get on the bed.”
She quickly climbs onto the high mattress, crawling toward the head with her ass high in the air. When she looks back at me over her shoulder, my cock twitches beneath the cotton of my boxer briefs.
“Are you trying to tease me, Babygirl?” I ask as I slap her right ass cheek. Her back arches in response, her hips pushing back to me, needing more. “Who decides what you will receive?”
“You do,” she says breathlessly. Her musky aroma floods my nose. I reach between her legs, pulling my fingers through her slick folds. She moans again, her body sagging.
“You do, what?” I ask disapprovingly.
“You do, Sir,” she responds joyfully. This magnificent woman who once told me she would never submit to anyone is filled with such contentment at the thought of pleasing me that I nearly come undone. What we share is unlike anything I’ve had with past partners.
“That’s my good girl,” I praise her. “Now, lie on your back.” When she complies, I part her legs until her freshly shaven mound is open to me.
Her chest heaves as she awaits my next command. My fingers graze the skin of her toned legs as I position myself between her parted legs, bending over to tenderly kiss one hip and then the other. When she bucks toward me, I firmly push her back to the bed.
“Stop!” I demand. “If you keep that up, I’ll leave you alone to think about what you’ve done. Is that what you want?”
Her body stills, the look on her face showing how hard she is concentrating to obey me. “No, Sir,” she whispers.
Satisfied by her compliance, I back up, reaching behind me for the crop. Her eyes follow the black leather, waiting impatiently to see where the tongue of the crop will strike first. I flick my wrist, starting with a trail of swats to her swollen breasts and stomach before moving lower. I strike her clit repeatedly in quick succession, driving her need higher.
“Tommy, please!” She begs. I drop the crop to the side of the bed, hovering over her body.
“What did you just say?” I ask firmly, refusing to allow any part of my body to touch hers.
“I’m sorry, Sir,” she apologizes. “I got carried away and was out of line.”
“Roll over, ass in the air.” As she moves into position to accept her punishment, I move the belt to my side.
I run my hands over her backside, warming both her skin and my hands. The way she wiggles against my touch, I wonder if she slipped on purpose, needing this discipline. My left hand slaps one side and then the other as my right slides easily through the wetness of her warm pussy. With the first sharp smack, I plunge two fingers deep inside her core.
Once she’s warmed up, I grab the belt and drag it slowly across her skin. The first swing lands with a crack on her right side, the next a bit harder on the left. I continue this assault on her body, creating a rise and fall in both the tempo and strength of each swing to keep her from knowing what’s coming next. No matter how loud the crack of the belt, she refuses to flinch.
“That’s a good girl,” I say as her punishment comes to an end. I lean over, kissing the red welts forming across her ass. “Such a good girl.”
My ass stings and yet I’ve entered such a state of bliss I’m unable to protest. Despite the pain, knowing that this is something I’ve only shared with Tommy thrills me. The way he continues fucking me with two fingers as he delivers punishment is a testament to his need to balance pain with pleasure, discipline with reward.
“Thank you, Sir,” I reply as he whispers his approval in my ear. The weight of his body covers mine and I can feel his hard cock pressing against the crack of my ass. I want him, but I know he will tell me when I can have all of him.
He slides off my body, pulling me against his chest so we’re lying on top of the comforter, limbs entwined. “I love you, Holly. I’m sorry I haven’t really been present for you lately.”
“It’s okay,” I assure him. “You’re allowed to have times when you need to be protected too. We’re a team now, right?”
“Yes, baby. Thank you.” He turns me in his arms, kissing me deeply.
While I’m not naïve enough to believe that one night is enough to pull Tommy from the recesses of his own mind, I’m basking in the glow of a slight return to normalcy between us. In a twisted way, I wonder if this bump so early in our relationship will help mold us into what we are meant to be.
As we drive into town to Zeke’s condo, I still feel pangs of guilt for deceiving him into this meeting, but promise myself it will all be worth it if last night is any indication. Still, I can’t bring myself to look at him for fear he will see our true intentions in my eyes.
“What’s going on, Holly?” Tommy reaches for my hand, which I reluctantly place in his. I’m allowing my mind to wander to the worst possible places, so far, that I can imagine him storming out of the building when he learns this is more of an intervention than anything else.
“I’m just stressed,” I tell him with a shrug. It’s not a lie, I feel as if my head is going to explode from the tension. “I’ll be better after we get to Zeke’s.”
“It’s okay, Holly. You have so much going on right now; I can’t believe how well you’ve held it together for this long.” The pride I can hear in his voice cuts me deep. No matter how good the logic is, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m lying to him. I promised him complete honesty at all times, and I’ve broken that vow.
“We’ll go up and talk to Jeff and then maybe we’ll all head down to the diner for a bit. Thanks to you, I’m actually in a mood to get out and see people for a change.” Tommy sounds almost excited by the prospect of returning to the group he used to consider his family.
Thanks to you… great! Why not drive that spike a little deeper?
Holly’s tense as we walk the short distance from the parking ramp to Zeke’s building. She’s still nervous about being out in the open and I know it can’t be easy for her with all of the shadows created by the tall office buildings lining the downtown streets.
“Baby, it’s going to be fine,” I whisper in her ear. She gives me a faint smile. It’s the one she wears when she’s trying to pretend she’s not upset.
A few times, her fear rubs off on me and I find myself looking over my shoulder to make sure no one is following us. The logical side of my mind says it’s a ridiculous notion because there haven’t been any problems so far, but the professional side of me knows the danger to a witness increases as the trial date grows near.
We ride up the elevator in silence. I don’t know what to say to her because I still feel like I should have done more for her so she wouldn’t have had to take these steps on her own. Sure, it is a good thing because she now sees her own strength, but it was my job to protect her from ever feeling this way again and I failed.
When the door opens, I feel as if we’ve walked into a party, not a casual meeting between Holly and her former therapist. Dylan and Tasha are sitting on the loveseat while Mary and Jeff are cuddled up on the couch.
“Hey cuz, glad you could make it,” Zeke greets me as he swings the door wide. “Want a beer?”
“Uh…” For once in my life, I’m speechless. It’s not easy for me to feel tricked, but they’ve done it. “Did you know everyone was coming over tonight?” I turn my full attention to Holly, needing to see her non-verbal cues. The way she swallows as she stalls tells me everything I need to know.
Unexpected Protector (Isthmus Alliance) Page 21
