Toil & Trouble
Page 10
“Nice save,” Annie Fabray says dryly, breezing past them.
“I assure you, this was the plan all along,” Arthur replies.
Annie Fabray scoffs. “Right.”
“Oh my God, she’s scary,” Howie whispers as soon as she’s out of earshot.
“Right??” Arthur says, his eyes widening with adorable distress.
“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from her.”
“You say that now that she’s across the room.”
“Well, yeah. You think I’m actually gonna start something with that? I love you, but not that much. Jeez.”
Arthur laughs, warm and relaxed—Howie’s favorite sound in the world, no question. Finally, at long last, the Halloween season is looking to be really and truly awesome.
+
Arthur doesn’t know quite how to apologize to Kristy.
He decides to err on the side of delicious baked goods. Howie seems to think that’s the way to go. (Although Howie also eats three cupcakes fresh out of the oven and licks all the frosting off the mixing beaters, so Arthur isn’t sure if his boyfriend counts as an entirely disinterested third party.)
He shows up on Kristy’s doorstep the afternoon after the haunted house debacle, box of repentance cupcakes in hand.
“I made you cupcakes,” he says when she opens the door. “I think it might have been partially post-traumatic stress, on account of the fact that a little girl dressed like a cupcake kicked me and now I have a giant bruise on my leg, but mostly, I just thought—hoped—you would like them.”
“They’re so pink!” Kristy says admiringly.
“I’m so sorry. I’m as sorry as they are pink. Which is—a lot, I think.”
Kristy leans against the doorframe. “I know you are.”
“I should have listened to you. I know that sometimes I can be too set in my ways. I just—I get an idea in my head of the way things are supposed to be, and it’s hard for me to let go of that. But that was no excuse. You’re the one who has actual experience working with children.”
“Yes,” Kristy says, not unkindly. “I am.”
“It just sounded ... too easy, and too good to be true. And I suppose I have a habit of making things more joyless than they need to be.”
Kristy laughs a little.
“And have I mentioned,” Arthur finishes, “that I’m sorry?”
Kristy looks down at the cupcakes, smiling at the tiny ghost-shaped sprinkles. Secretly, Arthur does think those were a nice touch.
“I’ll forgive you,” she says then, “if you stay and eat cupcakes with me.”
“Gladly.”
“While we watch a movie.”
“Certainly. What m—”
Kristy stares at him pointedly, her blue eyes all sparkly with triumph.
Ah.
“Oh, all right.” Arthur concedes after a moment, smiling. “I suppose there’s a first time for everything.”
“Exactly,” Kristy says, pleased. “You have to trust me on this stuff.”
Arthur knows better than to argue with that.
+
They gather around the computer in Arthur’s office the next Wednesday morning. The Yarn Yarn always puts up new posts on Wednesday mornings.
And sure enough:
“It’s up! It’s up, it’s up, it’s up!” Kristy exclaims.
“I hate that I’m actually really fucking nervous right now,” Cora says.
“You know what,” Arthur says with great poise, “I don’t think I want to know what it says.”
“Yes you do,” Howie says.
“Yes I do,” Arthur admits glumly.
Kristy clears her throat, then starts to read. “‘Where to begin with locally owned business Artie Kraft’s Arts ‘N Crafts? Sometimes its employees don reindeer antler headbands for no discernible reason ...’”
“What what!” Howie says, deciding to embrace his five minutes of fame.
“‘—but that doesn’t change the fact that the store is perfectly capable of selling quality crafting supplies, and does so without coddling cheapskates with overly generous discount sales.’”
“Did someone just compliment us for being too expensive?” Arthur says dazedly.
“Ooh, now she’s talking about the haunted house event!” Kristy says.
The room goes quiet. A very antsy kind of quiet.
“... and?” Arthur bravely says.
“And I’m not going to read all of it,” Kristy replies, “because it gets kind of mean.”
“Mean?”
“She did not like the Monster Mash dance very much,” Kristy says delicately.
“Didn’t like it,” Howie says, “or didn’t understand it?”
“The latter for sure,” Cora says. “That shit was transcendent.”
“Thank you, milady,” Howie says.
“I’m so jealous!” Kristy exclaims. “I wish I could have seen it!”
“There’s always the hope of a repeat performance,” Cora says devilishly.
“There really is not, actually,” Howie replies.
“Also, Heather totally filmed it on her phone.”
Kristy squeals.
Howie yet again inwardly curses the name of Heather Grimsby.
“I’m just gonna skip to the end,” Kristy says, after the squealing ceremony has passed. “Because it’s actually kind of nice. I think.”
“Let’s hear it, then,” Arthur says.
“‘Artie Kraft’s Arts ‘N Crafts is an establishment full of strange behavior. But the staff is clearly well-meaning in their desire to help customers, and they haven’t broken a child’s arm yet. Recommended as a preferable alternative to Holly’s until an arts ‘n crafts store of true quality comes to town. Three and a half out of five pincushions.’”
Everyone takes a minute to think about that.
“Well, okay!” Arthur says jauntily then. “I’ll take it.”
“Aw yeah!” says Howie.
There’s an enthusiastic round of high fiving. A few victory dance moves—none of which are inspired by Halloween monsters, thank God.
“You guys know what this means, right?” Cora says in the height of the merriment. “We used magic for evil and we totally got away with it.”
“This is our supervillain origin story,” Howie says, awed.
“Can we not?” Arthur implores.
“Oh, come on, Arthur!” Kristy teases. “Life is all about accepting the magic inside you.”
“Yeah, Artie!” says Howie. “Have you learned nothing from this glorious misadventure?”
Arthur sighs at their antics, not unfondly.
The End