The Wicked Dead (The Tome of Bill Book 7)

by Rick Gualtieri

  “Oh, I am. I shall let your slights of the past few moments pass for now. We shall call it a circumstance of your exceptional ignorance. But know this. I am of the First, boy, and should you ever cross me again, I will care not what anyone says nor what any prophecy proclaims. I will end you without a moment’s hesitation. Am I clear?”

  An eternity passed in my head as I weighed my options. We were outnumbered, and three of my team had been sent to la-la land with a single sentence. I was trapped with an enemy who was several times faster and stronger than me. I had a monster in me that could probably even the odds, but he was best kept bottled up until I really needed him. Settling petty scores didn’t strike me as the most judicious use of that power. Oh well, it’s during times like these that you sometimes gotta tell pride to take one for the team.

  “Crystal clear ... François of the First.”

  That seemed to mollify the asshole, at least partially. He glanced back at Sally, but she was no moron. She’d overheard everything and, even with a Swiss cheese memory, probably understood it all. She gave François a deferential nod of her head.

  “I am pleased to see you choose reason for a change, Freewill – however surprising that might be.”

  Goddamn, the snide digs just kept coming. Suck it up, Bill.

  “Now that we have all established the hierarchy of our situation...” François lowered his voice to a bare whisper, so low that even I strained to hear it, “it is time we planned our escape.”

  The Rebel Alliance

  Fuck it. If forced to choose between a smarmy asshole who hated me and a giant slobbering ape that smelled like ass and hated me, the choice seemed pretty goddamned clear. I was sure at some point I’d regret it, but for now, I just nodded.

  “Good,” he replied. “Your allies?”

  The Defilers were still doing their mannequin impersonations, but I had little doubt they’d help in the name of getting us out of here. Even if they didn’t want to, it wasn’t like François couldn’t compel them with no more effort than it took to breathe. I glanced at Sally and she rolled her eyes as if to say, “Of course I’m in, numb nuts.” Jeez, even in my imagination she was a bitch.

  There was little chance of Christy having overheard our whispers, but there was no doubt in my mind she’d take any opportunity presented to her. “The witch is with me. She’ll help,” I replied softly.

  “Good. We will need her. Turd has brought considerable forces to bear. This is a much larger offensive than we anticipated and much sooner too.”

  “That’s bad for Vehron,” I pointed out.

  “Perhaps, but worse for us since we are in the middle of it.”

  “How did you end up here anyway?”

  He glared at me, his ego probably amplified at least tenfold by his promotion.

  “Please, sir. I’d like to know. It might help us in our efforts.” Goddamn, why couldn’t James have mentioned this shit to me when he called? Well, it probably wasn’t any of my business to begin with. Also, how was he to know that I’d run into this asshole? My God, the world was a small place when it wanted to be.

  “I was returning to my troops in Canada when I decided to make a stopover to check on our covens north of here. I didn’t realize my trip coincided with the Sasquatches’ push south. I had barely touched down when the trees began to grow at an abnormal rate. I did my best to rally our people, but there were too many of them. We were quickly overrun.”

  Something in his voice told me that was bullshit. The fucker probably ran back to his plane double-time, but chances are the runway was already overgrown by then. However, I kept these doubts to myself.

  “Turd was not at all pleased to see me following our botched dealings in the Northwest Territories. If not for my new station, he would have surely had me executed by now. Thankfully, the fool thinks to use me as a pawn, as leverage once The Destroyer is defeated.”

  “Any chance of a rescue party?” I doubted the Draculas were in a position to let their newest member rot, no matter how much they disliked him. I, for one, wouldn’t say no to some heavy duty backup right about then. Hell, maybe I could even convince them to help me retake Boston.

  “If they knew of my predicament, perhaps,” he replied with a pained sigh. “Alas, I was not given the chance to contact them. Turd’s ambush was too quick, too overwhelming. We are on our own for now, but once we have an opportunity, then I have no doubt my dear siblings will come to my aid.”

  I couldn’t help but notice it was his aid and not ours. I glanced at Sally and then at Christy, who’d moved close enough so that she’d probably gotten the gist of what we were talking about. The look on their faces echoed what I was thinking. If we relaxed our guard for even a second, we’d be thrown to the wolves or worse.

  We didn’t have much choice in the matter, but that didn’t mean we needed to go into this with our eyes closed. A silent agreement passed between the three of us, hopefully more than my imagination, and I turned back to François. “What’s the plan?”

  “The plan for now is to wait. Once the time is right, then François of the First and the legendary Freewill shall show our enemies how truly formidable a pairing we can be.”

  Ugh. I felt like Superman being forced to team up with Lex Luthor to stop Darkseid.

  No matter who won, I had a feeling I’d lose.

  * * *

  “I’m telling you, you should have taken lunge as a feat for Kelvin. Would’ve saved you from getting your ass handed to you over and over again. You’re not a melee tank.”

  “Well, it might make more sense if someone,” I glared at Dave, “didn’t give every single monster we fought extended reach. I mean, seriously, how the hell did that beggar in Oncara hit me from fifteen feet away?”

  Dave shrugged from where he lay sprawled out on the rocky ground. “He was enchanted.”

  “If he was so fucking enchanted, then why was he still living in the fucking gutter?”

  “You don’t know. Next time, don’t whiff your diplomacy roll and maybe he’ll tell you before he kicks your ass.”

  Fucking cock. I swear, if I wasn’t afraid of getting a Sasquatch-sized shit ball tossed down at me, I’d compel the fucker to stop being such a dick.

  Oh well, talking game strategy helped to pass the time. It was either that or fraternize with François and his minions. I’d have sooner risked the shit ball.

  Sally and Christy had gone off to their own corner. Christy wasn’t going to risk using magic, at least not until it made sense to, but she was still trying to help Sally with some meditation techniques – or so I gathered from my eavesdropping. Sadly for them, our cell wasn’t quite large enough to afford us the comforts of privacy.

  That definitely didn’t help when it came to taking a piss. The Feet apparently didn’t believe in toilets or even a freaking chamber pot. I prayed that François would put his plan into effect before the need to drop a deuce arose.

  I only hoped Ed was doing better than we were. Maybe he’d gotten lucky and some mother Sasquatch was picking nits out of his hair and grooming him. It was probably too much to hope that he took any selfies of his predicament.

  A lone screech sounded from above, catching my attention. It was followed by the shuffling of large feet. Within a few seconds, more cries filtered down to us – a few cutting off abruptly.

  “What’s going on?” Dave asked.

  “Maybe Turd let one loose and now they’re evacuating the village.”

  My friends chuckled, but François’s voice cut in and immediately silenced them.

  “Freewill,” he hissed, “to my side.” Pushy motherfucker, wasn’t he? “Our time is now.”

  I signaled for Sally and Christy to join us as I walked over. All of François’s men were still seated, but upon closer look, I could see it was a ruse. Though appearing to relax, each was coiled and ready to strike.

  “What’s going on?”

  “It matters not, child,�
� François replied. “Listen. There is something afoot.”

  Ugh, the puns, they burned. “I gathered that, but we don’t know what.”

  “It is a distraction. That’s all that is important.”

  “It could be anything,” I protested. “A passing deer, a hiker wandering into the area.”

  “I think not.”

  “Fine, but think about where we are. It could be Vehron making a counterattack. He could...”

  “SILENCE!!” The compulsion wasn’t full power, but it was more than enough to hit me in the head like a brick. “Remember your place, boy.”

  God, I so wanted to wipe that fucking smirk off his face, but for now, I simply nodded like an obedient child.

  He had a point anyway. We had maybe an hour or two of darkness left. Although the canopy of trees above us was thick, I had little doubt our odds of escape wouldn’t be made easier with the sun shining above.

  “Even if it is our great enemy, do you propose we wait down here for him to arrive?” François asked, a sneer on his face. “Would that not be convenient, for you to offer yourself up to him already a prisoner?”

  “What are you getting at?”

  “Alexander’s court proceedings stunk worse than this place. It was one misdirection after another, ignoring the true facts.”

  “True facts?”

  “You were the one who released Vehron upon the world. That much my spies have gathered. Who is to say that you did not manipulate events? Perhaps your mission’s true intent is to merely mask that you’re journeying to Boston to join your Freewill brethren?”

  What? This fucker thought I was in cahoots with that muscle-bound cock-knocker? “We’re heading there to kill him. End of story.”

  “Very well, so then prove it. Join me now and together we shall see.”

  Motherfucker! I should have followed after Sheila. Hell, dealing with the pomposity of the Templar beat spending even a minute with this asshole.

  Regardless, it still struck me as stupid to act without having any idea what was going on above us. For all we knew, it was just some military drill and we’d pop out of this hole to find Turd and his buddies waiting to smash our heads with rocks.

  Fuck. We needed to act, but maybe it didn’t need to be stupidly. “Christy,” I asked, “I know they said no magic, but is there any chance you could maybe do some subtle sort of scrying up top? Something to let us know if the coast is clear?”

  “I can try,” she replied with a sly grin. A red glow erupted from her body. Before I could question what she was trying to do, a lance of pure power shot out of her. It hit the beams at the top of our prison and exploded, sending a shower of splinters raining down on us.

  “That subtle enough for you?” After a moment, when no guards appeared, she added, “Looks like the way is clear.”

  “Umm, yeah ... let’s go find Tom.”

  “Somehow, I knew you’d say that.”

  I turned back toward François, mentally reminding myself to never ever piss Christy off again. “Looks like we’re committed. Let’s...”

  I stopped when I saw that he was busy tearing off a sleeve from his jacket.

  He held out his arm to me. “Drink.”

  “What?”

  “It is as distasteful for me as it is for you – more so, I can assure you – but we need every advantage we can get.”

  He had a point. I’d gotten a taste of his blood during the fracas in Canada. His power was immense, more than enough to take down the average Squatch. We were still badly outnumbered, but maybe it could make a difference.

  “One Battlestar is badass, but let’s see how these Cylon fuckers handle two.”

  François took a half step back, confusion on his face.

  “Never mind. Let’s do this.”

  “So be it.” He held out his arm, and I clamped my teeth down upon his wrist. “But know, Freewill, that should you dare try to use my own power against me, I shall compel your friends to do things to themselves that will give you endless nightmares.”

  This asshole needed to get in line because I already had enough of those for centuries to come.

  First to Escape

  I had to admit, biting an elder vamp was a lot easier for me to swallow – pun intended – than handing the reins over to Dr. Death. Despite our agreement, it seemed he only wanted to come out and play during times when it really wouldn’t behoove me. I mean, the dude seemed to have a serious mad-on for Sheila. The Templar I could understand, but her? For now, though, he was oddly quiet. I decided not to look that gift horse in the mouth.

  The bars to our cell in pieces, it was child’s play to escape from the pit even with the greased walls. I gave Christy a piggyback out of there, while the others had little problem jumping the distance and pulling themselves out.

  “Being a vampire is so fucking boss!” Mike said as he climbed out. “I couldn’t even do one pull-up during those stupid Presidential fitness tests in school. Now look at me.”

  “Keep your head on,” I admonished him, “because, otherwise, all I’m going to be looking at is a pile of ashes. These fucking apes aren’t playing around.”

  Sure enough, we’d just barely gotten out when a roar sounded from nearby. The Sasquatches had been in the process of scrambling about chaotically, but it had been stupid of us to assume they’d all abandoned their posts.

  No sooner had the warning come than one of François’s minions was taken down, his head pulverized by a rock winged at him with a disturbing amount of power.

  Thankfully, the smarmy asshole hadn’t surrounded himself with newbs. Three of François’s men swarmed the Foot responsible and made sure he suffered a similar fate.

  One down, probably far more than I dared count to go. There was no way we could win this. We needed to amscray post-haste and keep moving. I didn’t want to flatter myself that I was Turd’s archenemy or anything. I mean, who knew how many beings the ugly fucker had pissed off in his time? Even so, I’d seen the glee in his eyes. I’d embarrassed the shit out of him, exposed him as being an iPod lover. I had the feeling I was one prize he wasn’t going to let get away easily.

  “Bill!” Christy’s voice cried.

  Shit! I’d been so worried about what everyone else was up to that I forgot to cover the one ass I cared about most here – my own. I turned to find one of the Sasquatches charging, about to barrel through me like I was nothing.

  But I wasn’t nothing. In fact, I was supercharged on the blood of a seven-hundred-year-old vampire. The irresistible force met the immovable object of my fist, and I was pleased to win that contest.

  The Squatch doubled over from the blow to his stomach, and I followed through with an uppercut that sent eight feet of soiled fur flying.

  Oh yeah! That felt good, damn good.

  Unfortunately, it was about to start feeling real bad again. I turned from my downed foe and found about a dozen more ready to converge on us.

  * * *

  I was about to tell my friends to run like hell. Even with Christy’s magic backing us up, there was no way our odds looked good. Of my group, she and I were the only ones who stood a chance against these monsters. Hell, even Sally was going to be hard pressed to survive, unarmed as she was.

  Before I could open my mouth, though, François rallied his men. They gathered round and charged the Sasquatches. Holy, crap. Who’d have guessed that in the end he would actually step up and keep his word?

  “FIGHT TO THE LAST!! DEFEND YOUR MASTER!! THE FIRST MUST SURVIVE AT ALL COSTS!!”

  Not me, that’s for sure.

  As soon as the compulsion left his mouth, he turned and took the fuck off, disappearing from sight before my jaw could hit the ground.

  Sadly, I was in no position to hunt him down. His compulsion had taken hold of Dave, Adam, and Mike. They raced forward, heedless of the danger – screaming battle cries as if this was one of our many games. Hell, for all I knew of what was going on in
their heads, maybe they thought it was.

  I glanced over and saw Sally standing close by, a bit dazed, but otherwise alert. For once, I found myself glad for Alex’s compulsion. Whatever he had done, it had apparently included orders preventing others from imposing their will upon her. I’d be sure to thank the asshole – maybe right after I shanked him with a stake.

  That would need to wait, though. I couldn’t have cared less about François’s lackeys. Those fuckers could play cannon fodder all they wanted and it didn’t mean shit to me, but I didn’t want to see my friends charge forward into the slaughter – and a slaughter it was. Several more Sasquatches ran from the nearby trees, disengaging from whatever chaos had sent them scrambling so as to provide backup to their brethren.

  “Help me stop them!” I screamed at my two coherent friends before launching myself forward.

  Thank goodness for being amped up, because I managed to overtake Dave before he’d done more than get to the rear of François’s chicken-shit offensive.

  There was no time to fuck around. I drove a fist into the back of his head and he went down, lights out. Not a second too soon, as several flashes of light caught my periphery as at least three of the compelled vamps were torn limb from limb, bursting in flames as they died.

  Christy had my six. A beam of sickly green power lanced out from her, striking Adam in the back. He convulsed for a moment and then collapsed in a heap. Sadly, her second shot went wide, missing Mike and gouging a chunk from the ground where he’d stood just a moment before. Damnit!

  Now where was ... shit! I turned back to find one of the beasts had snuck up from the rear and engaged Sally. It had her on her knees, clubbing away as she tried to mount a defense.

  My indecision cost me, because in the split second I hesitated, two of François’s men were knocked back and sent flying into me.

  I went down, low man on the pile, as the sounds of battle intensified all around us.

  * * *

  I shoved the stunned vamps off me and took a look around. Much to my delight, Sally had rallied. Claws extended, she waited until the Sasquatch had raised both of its fists so as to pummel her into paste, and then slashed upward – right into the monster’s crotch.