The Wedding

by Sian Ceinwen

  “Because it’s what happened.” She shrugged.

  “Yes, but did you see Harrison’s reaction to what you said?”

  Heather glanced over at Harrison and saw him watching her. “Well, yeah. I did,” she confessed.

  “How did it make you feel when Heather phrased it that way, Harrison?” Brendan asked him.

  “Hurt. It feels like Heather is purposely saying things to hurt me a lot, lately,” the sadness was evident on his face.

  “Hang on, so Harrison fucks Madeline, and I’m trying to hurt him by pointing that out?” Heather frowned.

  “Are you trying to hurt him, Heather?” Brendan tilted his head to the side as he asked this question.

  She actually stopped and thought about it, then blew out a deep breath before admitting, “Yes.”

  “Why is that?”

  Heather hated the tears that were coming to her eyes now; she wanted to be strong, damn it, “Because he hurt me. I want him to hurt, too.”

  Brendan handed her a box of tissues as she broke down into tears. The unfairness of their situation really struck her. It wasn’t Harrison’s fault he’d cheated, not really. By the same token, it also wasn’t her fault that she was struggling to get past it.

  “What do you think that you might achieve by hurting Harrison?” Brendan sat back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other as he did so.

  “I don’t know,” she paused for a moment and tried to figure it out but couldn’t come up with an answer, “I really don’t.”

  “Hmmm. Harrison, what do you think?”

  “I think that Heather is scared to forgive me. She’d rather drive me away,” she frowned at him, as he said it, “it’s like she’s trying her hardest to get me to leave.”

  “Interesting. Is splitting up something that you think might happen?”

  “I don’t want it,” Harrison told him, “but Heather will barely speak to me, so I have no clue what she wants.”

  “What I want is for you to go back in time and not sleep with Madeline. Can you fucking do that for me, Harrison?” she crossed her arms over her chest, knowing that she was probably doing exactly what he said she was doing.

  The idea of forgiving him was terrifying; it meant trusting that he wouldn’t do this again. She knew the chances of him being drugged again were minuscule, the security around the band was tighter than ever, and everyone had their own personal bodyguard now. She probably could forgive him if it weren’t for the fact that she still could not get rid of that image in her head of Harrison having sex with Maddy.

  She’d looked at the pictures in the series of their night together more times than was healthy. There were pictures of them sitting next to each other at the charity dinner, obviously flirting. Another one was of them kissing in the hotel lobby. Shots of them leaving the hotel together the next morning with Gabriel and Ariana, all of them looking the worse for wear. One of the pictures she’d come across was a wider one of the hotel room; it showed Maddy’s bra and thong lying on the floor in a pile on top of Harrison’s own clothes. It really helped to get a true mental image of exactly how he had cheated on her. Clearly, Harrison stripped first, then had Maddy get naked afterward.

  Did Maddy give him head before she fucked him? Did he grab her hair and look at her the way he did to Heather? It didn’t matter if he had or not because Heather could still see it happening, anyway—Maddy on her knees in that pink, lacy underwear set with Harrison’s cock in her mouth.

  Heather’s nights were filled with dreams of the two of them together. She’d barely slept all month, spending her days at Serenity, designing new clothes, and taking business meetings to try and keep her mind occupied. Pretending to the world that everything was fucking dandy.

  The paparazzi were camped out the front of their building day and night. They’d already figured out Maddy’s identity, and she was suffering an inferno of criticism online. Cooper had been going to fire her for sleeping with a client until Heather called him and told him not to. She’d said that she didn’t want Maddy working with her or Harrison anymore, but at the end of the day, she was drugged as well. It wasn’t Maddy’s fault, either, and Heather didn’t want her to lose her job for it.

  It was the only kind action that she could bring herself to take, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Maddy had given her resignation to Cooper, anyway, but at least Heather knew that she hadn’t been fired on their behalf.

  The remainder of their hour dragged on; Heather did her best to keep her bitchy remarks to a minimum, but really felt, once again, like she’d wasted everyone’s time by attempting this when she clearly wasn’t ready to forgive Harrison and may never be ready.

  “I’ll see you next week,” Brendan told them as they all stood from their seats when the session was over.

  “Can’t wait. Stoked. It’ll be great!” Heather muttered under her breath as she made her way to the door.

  Harrison glared at her, but Brendan didn’t comment. No doubt, he would make approximately a thousand notes about her shitty attitude as soon as they’d left the room. She followed Harrison out into the waiting area. Callum and Michael Pearce both joined them, as soon as they exited Brendan’s office. Michael was Harrison’s new bodyguard. She stood next to them as Harrison paid for their session, then the two men followed behind as she and Harrison walked in tense silence to the elevators that headed down to an underground garage.

  Brendan’s office was in a building full of many disciplines of private practice; it was part of why they’d chosen him. They could come and go in relative peace, hopefully without the media figuring out they were doing counseling.

  “Are you going back to the apartment?” Harrison asked her as the elevator doors opened.

  “Yes. You?”

  “I might go to Hayden’s or something.” He shrugged.

  “Cool. Have fun.”

  She walked away without another word; it felt odd to be almost strangers with Harrison. This was the man she loved more than anyone else in the world, but it was as though there was a massive chasm between them all of a sudden. She was on one side; he was on the other, and there was no bridge for either of them to cross.

  Callum opened the door of her SUV at roughly the same time that Michael opened the door for Harrison’s. She glanced over at him and thought she might physically break into pieces. It all felt so fucking wrong. Being apart from him, not getting into the same car, not going to the same place. For roughly the millionth time since that day, she wished that she had gone to that stupid charity event instead of to New York for Saturday Night Live. She would take being drugged and not doing SNL over this awful nightmare that she was living, any day.

  Heather got in the car and pulled out her phone as Callum started driving them home. She had a text from Gabriel.

  Hi, H. I know this is a shitty thing to ask, but did you read Ari’s letter? I know you’re going through a rough time, and I think she could be a good friend for you right now.

  What the fuck? She’d practically forgotten the letter existed. Was this really the same man that begged her to wait until the right time to read it? What kind of dumbass was he, that he would think that now was the right time?

  Are you fucking for real, dude? Fuck off.

  Oh, she really was in fine form today—F-bombs galore for all of the people she loved the most.

  Please read it. Trust me. I know you’re hurting, and I wouldn’t ask you to read it if I didn’t think it would be good for you.

  Heather thought about it for a second; her life was in ruins right now, there was nothing Ariana could say to make it worse. She’d practically forgiven her already anyway, especially after she found out about that horrible experience Ariana had with the reporter. Truthfully, at this point, everything that was outside of her relationship with Harrison felt unimportant, anyway. She might as well read the damn letter and see what Ariana had said.

  Fine. I’ll read it when I get home. Ga
briel knows best.

  Yes, he does. Thanks, H.

  She was walking into her apartment and was about to head to hers and Harrison’s bedroom when her phone pinged with another text. To Heather’s surprise, it was from Ariana.

  DO NOT READ THE LETTER!

  Well, now, that was interesting. She quickly replied.

  Why not?

  Now is NOT the time. Trust me.

  Ariana replied almost immediately, and for the first time all week, a smile came to Heather’s face. Why the hell would Ariana give her a letter to read and suddenly not want her to read it? It made her laugh because this whole thing was crazy.

  Okay, now I’m definitely reading it. No time like the present, darling!

  Damn. She’d shown her hand by slipping into the usage of that nickname without thinking. Her phone started buzzing, and Ariana’s name was on the screen now. Oh, hell, no. She was reading this damn letter right now. She dropped her phone on the kitchen bench and continued to the bedroom.

  Heather rushed to her bedside table, pulled out the envelope that was still sitting there, and opened it. The letter was written by hand, on thick, cream paper, and in purple ink that had a silver sheen to it.

  Dear Heather,

  I barely even know where to start. There are no words that will ever be enough to make up for what I did to you. Please read this letter in full. If you read it all and still want nothing to do with me, then I’ll completely understand.

  Heather smiled; already, she could tell that Ariana had put a great deal of effort into writing this letter. Her previous concerns about not meaning anything to her seemed unfounded.

  It goes without saying that I had no right to leave without saying goodbye. I can’t tell you how much I regret that. How many times I beat myself up for the fact that the last words I said to you were that I would come and see you, but I didn’t follow through with that.

  In the early days, Heather had well and truly dwelled on that fact. It was a sticking point for a long time that Ariana had lied to her on that phone call, saying that she would come to see her when she really went to pack her things to leave them all.

  Obviously, I know now that leaving was probably not the right thing to do. Even though Gabriel and I are happier together now than we ever were before, I still feel so much guilt over the time we lost. He’s forgiven me, though, so I need to try and forgive myself as well.

  I never really explained to you why I was so scared of the life we lead. My uncle is Darius Thompson.

  Her uncle was Darius Thompson?! Surely not the Darius Thompson. Mega A-list movie star? Heather suddenly remembered Gabriel and Ariana chatting to Darius and his wife at Harrison’s birthday party. It made so much sense, but what the hell, how did she not know this?

  Yes, THE Darius Thompson, I know you just said that out loud. Everyone does.

  Heather laughed at the fact that Ariana could so accurately predict her reaction. She supposed that it was similar to the reaction people would give her about Harrison if there was actually anybody in the world that didn’t know she was with him.

  I’ve spent a lot of my life watching the terrible, awful things that the paparazzi did to my family.

  Ah, fuck. Darius Thompson. Cheating scumbag of the highest order.

  Don’t get me wrong. My uncle played his part in all of that. If he had never cheated on my aunt, then maybe all of the bullshit they go through wouldn’t have happened.

  Okay, yup. This is probably why Ariana thought it was a bad idea for her to read it. Just what she needed right now, to read about men being cheating cheaters who cheat.

  It’s likely it still would have, though, in some form or another. The things they put us through are no different; hell, those dumbasses have even printed bullshit rumors about Harrison cheating on you before.

  Ouch.

  They don’t care that it’s not true. They don’t care that we’re human beings with feelings. They just care about eyeballs on their papers or their magazines or their websites.

  Double ouch. Nope, that was why Ariana thought she shouldn’t read it. She’d written it at a time when Harrison cheating on her was something that everyone thought could never, ever be an actual thing that would happen.

  My aunt and uncle have been happy together for years, but the stories just keep coming, and every time they print a new one, it’s painful for my aunt.

  Great. She’d been subjected to these types of stories in the past, as well. So that’s what she had to look forward to if she did work things out with Harrison, she guessed. Frequent, painful reminders of him fucking Maddy. Lucky for her, she’d get to revisit the picture every time as well, no doubt.

  My cousins are awesome, but they got teased all the time at school about it. Can you imagine constantly seeing stories about your dad cheating on your mom?

  And, yes, if she and Harrison got married and had children, they too could see a picture of their father in bed with another woman. Delightful!

  For me, I grew up seeing all of this. By the time I met Gabriel, I already hated fame and celebrity.

  Right now, Heather kind of hated fame and celebrity, too. She hadn’t felt like Ariana had actually hated fame when she’d known her, though. More feared it. It made a bit more sense now she knew why that was, of course.

  Sebastian practically groping me the first time I met him probably didn’t help,

  Ugh. Heather had heard that story. Sebastian and Gabriel were both drunk as fuck, and Sebastian had actually tried to hit on Ariana, with zero success, of course.

  but Gabriel was different. I loved him from that first night, Heather. I loved him, and it scared the fucking shit out of me.

  He is the single, most amazing human being on the face of the planet, and I desperately wanted to not love him.

  Given what Ariana was telling her, Heather started to understand. From the first day she’d met Ariana, it had been obvious that she was in love with Gabriel. Heather had been shocked when she saw them together; she’d never seen Gabriel so happy before. He’d had other girlfriends, but there was something about his relationship with Ariana that just made him seem so…whole.

  Our world is one that I never wanted to be a part of, but Gabriel came to me packaged with fame, and I wasn’t ready to deal with it back then.

  ‘Our world,’ it pleased Heather to see Ariana write it like that. It was obvious that she had finally come to truly be a part of their world. Previously, she’d hidden in the shadows, but now she was in the light with the rest of them, bearing the brunt of the intensity that light brought to your life.

  It’s hard to explain the way I used to think. Deep down, I just felt worthless. I couldn’t accept that Gabriel could love me and that I could ever be enough for him.

  Poor Ariana. Heather had sensed this about her at the time, from the way she spoke about herself. The panic attacks that she had when the media were nearby, it was all starting to make a lot more sense now.

  In my experience, men (particularly famous men) cheated on their partners as soon as the opportunity arose.

  Ouch. Hello, Harrison Fletcher.

  The more that Gabriel tried to show me that he loved me and was in it for the long haul, the more that my brain looked for signs that it was all just a show. I was so fucking insecure that I literally blew up our relationship to prevent, you know, our relationship from blowing up.

  Heather laughed out loud at this; Ariana’s phrasing was amusing. She could practically hear her saying it.

  It was dumb. Stupid. Most idiotic thing I’ve ever done or will hopefully ever do!

  Yeah, it had been pretty fucking dumb, that’s for sure. She couldn’t wait to rip on Ariana for that. If it weren’t for the fact that she was really getting into this letter and finding out all the things that Ariana had written to her, she’d call her right now to agree with her about how dumb it had been.

  Your friendship during that time was so invaluable to me, thoug
h, Heather. I know that you tried to talk sense into me repeatedly, and for that, I’m grateful.

  It was nice to feel appreciated. At the time, Heather had often felt like she was talking to a brick wall, so it was good to know that at least some of what she’d said at the time had sunk in. Of course, given Ariana’s family history, Heather had actually had no clue what she was talking about.

  I’ve missed you. So fucking much.

  This brought a smile to Heather’s face, and she actually wiped a tear away from her eye. She’d missed Ariana, too, if she was being honest with herself.

  You were my best friend, but when I left, I just thought that cutting everyone off completely would be the easiest thing for everyone. I worried that I would come back if I spoke to anyone, and at the time, to me, that would’ve been terrible.

  Man, she really was fucked in the head when she left. Heather would definitely have to talk to her further about this, to try and understand just how she had come to the conclusion that leaving the way she did was the right way to go.

  I had completely and utterly convinced myself that I was ruining Gabriel’s life, and I didn’t want that for him. Again, it was dumb, and I know now that, of course, it wasn’t true.

  None of them would ever have thought that about Ariana. All of them had loved her deeply and could see just how good she was for him. The flip side of that, of course, had been the way he’d reacted when she left.

  I want to reassure you that I will never do anything like that again.

  Good.

  There is nothing that could be worse than not having Gabe in my life again. Those were the worst two years of my life.

  A tiny part of Heather was glad to hear that Ariana had suffered in their absence. They’d all gone through hell, so it wouldn’t have been fair if Ariana hadn’t at least been in purgatory.

  Not just not having him, but all of you as well. You accepted me, you welcomed me into your lives, and I didn’t treat that gift with the care it deserved, for that, I am truly sorry.