The Wedding

by Sian Ceinwen

  *****

  The next morning, Heather packed her things and made her way to Hayden and Ally’s room. They had room service breakfast, deciding to stay well away from the hotel’s restaurant and maximize the peace they had before braving the paparazzi to get to the airport.

  “Okay, who wants to put money on Harrison having cheated on me while I was here?” Heather said grimly.

  “That’s not funny.” Hayden shook his head.

  “Hey, I wouldn’t have bet on it last time I was in New York, but now there’s a precedent for it, the odds are better that it’ll have happened,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

  “Come on, Heather, you know he won’t have cheated on you this time,” Ally said.

  “I actually don’t know that at all, maybe he’s taken to fucking Madeline on the regular to satisfy his needs; god knows he’s not getting any from me,” she grimaced.

  “Stop it, Heather. You know that Harrison isn’t cheating on you, so why the fuck are you saying this stupid shit?” Hayden glared at her.

  Heather met his angry gaze with her own for a second, before she lost the ability to keep up her high and mighty attitude, and tears began to well in her eyes.

  “Because I’m scared, Hayden. The idea of making the trip back to Chicago is harder than I thought it would be, and I keep remembering the last time I made the trip back from here. It’s been so bad between Harrison and me since it happened. I don’t think I can continue doing it anymore.”

  Ally stood up from where she was sitting and came around to give Heather a hug, but Hayden wouldn’t look away from her. He understood exactly what it was that she was telling him.

  “You’re going to end it.” He looked sad, and Ally gasped as Heather nodded her head.

  “No, you’re not!” Ally looked at her, open-mouthed.

  “Being here, it’s made me realize just how terrible it’s been back home, lately. Harrison and I are meant to be getting married in, what? Four months’ time? We’re supposed to be happy; we’re supposed to be excited. I don’t want to start a marriage this way. With us barely talking outside of counseling sessions. With me feeling sick every time he touches me. It’s not the way it’s meant to be.”

  “Harrison is going to be devastated,” Hayden said softly, the sadness for his friend evident in his tone.

  “I know. I wish it could be different.” Heather wiped away the tears that were falling freely from her eyes now.

  “Why can’t it be different?” Ally asked her.

  Heather gave her a small smile, “Because Hayden made it back up to his room, alone, and Harrison fucked Maddy”—she caught the look on Hayden’s face as he started to protest—“that’s the thing, it’s not anyone’s fault. Everyone reacts differently to drugs, but you didn’t fuck anyone. Meanwhile, Gabriel and Ariana apparently had a fucking amazing night together, Seb told me that the sex he had was beyond anything he’d ever experienced and Harrison…” her voice cracked, and she couldn’t finish her sentence.

  She couldn’t voice out loud that he’d had high sex with someone else. They hadn’t asked for the experience or wanted it at all, but the others had told her how good the sex was while they were under the influence. When they’d told her about their own experiences, she didn’t think they’d realized what exactly it meant for what she was thinking about Harrison.

  Heather also questioned Harrison’s re-telling of the night’s events. Maybe, he’d been trying to spare her feelings, but everyone else seemed to be able to recall a shitload more than he would tell her, even in their counseling sessions. He remembered something, anything, more than just being at dinner and then waking up, she was sure of it.

  The mood in their group was somber as Hayden and Heather said their goodbyes to Ally. She wished Heather luck for the conversation she was going to have when she got back to Chicago and told her to text, or call, any time of the day or night. Then they made their way through the large group of paparazzi that was out the front of the hotel and into a limousine, with the help of Callum and Jesse.

  The media were still hounding Heather about the cheating scandal, but Cruise Control had also released their new single, “Rules To Break”, recently, so there was even more attention on her this trip since she was traveling with Hayden. They had chosen to go with the song they’d recorded the day she was out at Galena with them as the first single off the album, which they’d named, Games We Play, and it was bittersweet for Heather. Every time she heard it, she remembered the day it was recorded and the hours she’d spent with Harrison afterward.

  Heather felt completely numb as they boarded their flight to O’Hare. Hayden took his seat next to her on the plane. Callum and Jesse were in the row behind them. As soon as they had sat down, Heather turned her head to the window and began to cry. It had been hard getting through the paparazzi without giving anything away, trying not to let anyone know that her heart was shattering into tiny pieces knowing that she was about to go and call off her wedding.

  “Are you sure about this, Heather?” Hayden asked her gently, while passing her a tissue.

  “No, I’m really not. I don’t want to do this. You know that, right?” She blew her nose and put the tissue aside.

  “So, don’t do it. Just…postpone the wedding, instead,” he pleaded.

  “For how long, Hayden? Indefinitely? Because things sure as shit aren’t getting any better between us, right now. I am dying in that apartment, and Harrison is, too. Maybe a break is what we need,” she shrugged.

  “A break? Or are you ending it? A break, I can understand, but ending it…you’ll kill him, Heather.”

  “Why am I expected to forgive and forget? I’ve been trying and I can’t, I already feel like a fucking failure of a human being for that. We all know that he was the victim of something awful, and I hate the fucker that did this to you guys, to me. Ariana told me how terrible Harrison felt when they woke him up, and he realized what he’d done. I feel awful for not being able to forgive him, but I can’t stand the nightmares and the tension of being around him every day anymore.”

  Hayden put his arm around her shoulders, and she cried into his chest for a lot of the flight. When they were about forty-five minutes away from Chicago, she went to the bathroom, washed her face, then re-did her makeup. It wouldn’t necessarily hide her red eyes, but she would put her sunglasses on before leaving the plane just in case the paparazzi met them at the gate again.

  She didn’t have to worry, though; they hadn’t made the effort, and their group was able to at least make it to the baggage claim and get their luggage in relative peace. They were swarmed from there, though, but Callum and Jesse kept them safe until they reached the black SUV. She and Hayden had traveled from her apartment to the airport together, so they’d be going back in the same car, as well.

  Heather found herself feeling similar to the way she had the day of her fashion show. Now that she’d made the decision to call off the wedding, it was like she had a list of tasks to check off before reaching the final one, ‘break up with Harrison.’ In the same way as that day, it stopped her from focusing on what she had to do if she just focused on each task in and of itself. When they reached her apartment building, Heather felt sick, knowing what she was about to do.

  “Do you want me to come upstairs, Heather?” Hayden asked her, looking concerned.

  “Can you give us a minute?” Heather managed to ask Callum as he opened the door for them to get out of the car, and he nodded before closing it. She was barely holding it together right now, “Please don’t, Hayden. I can’t handle small talk right now. I just need to get this over with.”

  “I know you’ve decided already, but I have to beg you again to rethink this, I wouldn’t be a good friend if I let you just go ahead without telling you that I think this is a bad idea.”

  Heather smiled at him, “You’re a good friend, Hayden. One of the best. I love you.”

  She gave him a final hug, then opened th
e door of the SUV and got out. The familiar feeling of emptiness washed over her as she gave Hayden a sad wave goodbye. She and Harrison were supposed to be having a session with Brendan this afternoon, but instead, she was going to end their engagement. Callum followed her to the elevator, he looked concerned, and she knew that he’d overheard a lot today.

  They entered the apartment; Michael was sitting near the entrance, and Heather nodded as she passed him. Callum hung back and didn’t follow her as she made her way further into the apartment. She heard him say something in a low undertone to Michael and was sure he was telling him that they needed privacy right now.

  Harrison was sitting on the sofa in front of the TV, an action movie was playing, and he was drinking from a tumbler of amber liquid. Heather frowned; it was too early in the day for him to be drinking. She had joked with Ariana that any time after ten was okay, but sitting alone and drinking before noon seemed wrong.

  He looked so beautiful; his hair was a mess, but it always was lately, because he was as stressed as she was. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Heather wondered if he’d even gotten dressed today, or if he was still wearing what he wore to bed last night. She just stood there watching him for the longest time, she drank in the sight of him, knowing that this might be the last time she saw him for an indeterminate amount of time.

  Heather didn’t know how long she stood there, exactly. It wasn’t until Harrison paused the movie to go and refill his glass that he noticed her. As usual, his expression softened the instant that he saw her, but these days, his initial reaction was always met by an immediate increase in tension in the room. There was no putting it off any longer.

  “We need to talk, Harrison.”

  He smiled grimly and held up his empty glass, “Why do I get the feeling that I’ll need another one of these soon, angel?”

  Heather walked toward him. As she did, he put his empty glass back down on a coaster on the coffee table and turned the television off as she sat down, facing him on the sofa.

  “I don’t even know where to begin,” she admitted.

  “Just rip the Band-Aid off, please.” He looked completely miserable.

  “This isn’t working, Harrison. I’ve tried so hard to get past it, but I can’t.”

  He nodded but didn’t say anything, so she continued.

  “I can’t stop the nightmares. It’s awful in this apartment together, the way it is between us, I’m going to suffocate from the tension that’s always there. It’s too much, and I can’t handle it.”

  “I’ve been expecting this.” He picked up his phone, unlocked it, and showed her the screen. On it was a picture of her, Ally, and Hayden dancing in New York last night. Heather hadn’t even known that it had been taken, but she looked so relaxed in the photo, and was obviously having fun, “I haven’t seen you like that in so long, angel.”

  She couldn’t stop the tears that had started to fall, and she wiped them away as she told him, “I will always love you, Harrison.”

  “I know, because I will always love you as well, my angel.”

  They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Heather realized that he was crying as well. It broke her. She put her head in her hands and began to cry harder than she had been. How the hell was she supposed to exist in a world where Harrison wasn’t a part of her life? She realized, painfully, that she had been existing in such a world, already. He hadn’t really been a part of her life these last two months. At least this way, she wouldn’t have to suffer having him so close to her physically, but so far away emotionally.

  Heather finally raised her tear-streaked face to meet his eyes, and a fresh wave of sobs overtook her before she managed to ask, “Where do we go from here?”

  “You can stay here. I’ll find somewhere to go.” He seemed resigned to this conclusion.

  “Are you sure, Harrison?”

  He winced, as he usually did when she used his name. “Yes, angel. Like I said, I’ve been expecting this. I’ve just been waiting for you to tell me. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what we would do when the time came.”

  “I don’t think I can survive without you,” she choked out as she continued to cry, “but I can’t keep living like this, either.”

  She realized that she was playing with her engagement ring. It was something that she did so often and had become such a habit that it wasn’t a conscious thing, but she had the horrendous realization that she needed to give it back to Harrison now.

  As if in slow motion, she pulled it off her finger. Her body was wracked with sobs as she held it out to him in the palm of her hand. She couldn’t look at him; she closed her eyes and continued to cry.

  “Angel, no…” he sounded wounded.

  “Please, just take it, Harrison,” she begged him, still unable to look at him.

  His fingers were warm against the palm of her hand as he grasped the ring. It felt so wrong, she was flooded with a million different memories of his touch, and as soon as she felt him take the ring from her, she dropped her head to her hands and sobbed hysterically.

  Chapter 18

  CHAPTER NEVER REVISITED

  HEATHER LAY WHERE SHE was on the sofa, long after Harrison had collected up a few things and told her, quietly, that he was leaving. She knew that they would need to talk at some point and sort out the logistics of their split, but neither of them was in the mental state to do that right now.

  She sat up at the sound of insistent knocking on the door. She wiped away the tears from her eyes as she did. Whoever it was clearly wanted her attention badly. As she walked toward the door, her phone started buzzing and lit up on the coffee table where she had been sitting.

  She glanced over at it and saw Sebastian’s name on the screen. Opening the door, she saw Sebastian himself standing on the doorstep, his phone up to his ear as he was calling her.

  “Oh, Heather.” His face was full of sympathy, and she could barely stand it.

  “Please don’t, Sebastian.” Heather felt the tears start to fall afresh, and she couldn’t stop them if she tried.

  Sebastian swept into the room, closing the door behind himself and put his arms around her, hugging her tightly to his chest.

  “Are you okay?” he asked her quietly.

  “No, but that doesn’t change anything.” Heather sighed, breaking their embrace and heading back to the sofa.

  “I don’t like seeing you cry, Heather.”

  Sebastian sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her toward him so that her head was resting on his chest. She could hear his heart beating, and it was oddly soothing. She continued to cry, and he simply held her while she did.

  “It wasn’t his fault, Seb. I think that’s what makes this so hard,” she told him once she’d finally managed to pull herself together.

  “I get that he was drugged, but he knew you weren’t there. He knew it wasn’t you. I don’t understand how he could ever have mistaken that slut for you, no matter how high he was.” Sebastian’s words were full of venom.

  “He’s sorry, and Maddy’s not a slut. He’s apologized to me repeatedly. I just can’t get that image out of my head, though, Seb. I see him touching her. I see him kissing her. When I sleep, it’s like watching a movie that picks up right when that picture was taken. They wake up in bed together and fuck, and I just see it all.”

  Sebastian put his other arm around her now to hug her tighter as she started to cry again.

  “I’ll kill him,” he said, whispering it into her hair.

  “No, you won’t,” she said through her tears. “You love him as much as I do.”

  “Yes, but I love you, too,” he said candidly, “plus, he’s in the wrong.”

  For most women, having Sebastian Fox tell them that he loved them would be a dream come true. For her, it was just sweet. She knew it wasn’t a romantic love that he had for her any more than he had for Harrison. They were closer than siblings.

/>   “I don’t even know what I’m going to do now, Seb.”

  “Have you canceled the wedding yet?”

  “Shit, Sebastian,” she sat up and glared at him, “give me five seconds. We literally broke up two hours ago.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean that to sound like I was pressuring you. I’m just trying to figure out what needs to be done,” he put his hands up in a conciliatory gesture.

  She appreciated his concern, but she couldn’t even face the reality of the fact that her wedding that was supposed to be taking place in less than four months, wouldn’t be happening now.

  “Where’s Harrison?” he asked her.

  “He didn’t say where he was going. Robert and Sarah’s, or Hayden’s, maybe? He told me that I could stay here and he’ll rent an apartment. How can I stay here, though, Seb? Everything here reminds me of him. It’s just so full of us.”

  The tears were threatening to fall again as she pondered the problem of her living arrangement.

  “Come out to Galena with me,” Sebastian said to her.

  “What?”

  He stood up from the sofa, grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her up to standing before hugging her again.

  “We’ll go out to Galena. Nobody will bother us there. No paparazzi, no drama. We’ll tell the others where we are, but we can switch our phones off if you don’t want to talk to anyone. We can do whatever you want, get drunk, go swimming, play pool. None of the bullshit that you’ll get if you stay here,” he offered.

  Heather was very tempted. The picture he was painting was an attractive one. Sebastian’s property would be the perfect place for her to heal and lick her wounds.

  “Are you sure?” she asked him.

  “Positive,” he replied with a smile. “Pack your bags, lover. We’ll go now.”

  She laughed at his use of the stupid nickname, and it made her feel like everything was normal, even though it very much wasn’t. Heather didn’t know how much to pack. She decided to bring a weekend bag with casual clothes, along with some swimming costumes and underwear. She needed to be back in Chicago on Monday, anyway.