Past Heaven

by Laura Ward

  I swiveled in my seat to face Reynolds. “So let me give you the scoop. During the day, Warren is a busy place. Individuals are taken to various job sites based on their particular abilities and interests. Employees of the agency will supervise or accompany and aid the individuals as they work and attend training meetings. People often stop into Warren for meetings with supervisors, to have planning sessions for their care, inquire about supports, or just to socialize and catch up. Parents come there to learn what programs and supports are available to them, attend trainings sessions to learn about different issues, or to plan with their children for employment or residential logistics.”

  Reynolds listened patiently as I continued to fill him in. “Today, my brother David, who works as a custodian in a local retirement home, will be at Warren with his friends. One of the goals on his Individual Plan is to meet throughout the month with his buddies so he can socialize. Counselors that work with people with developmental disabilities often include social, physical, economic, and even emotional goals in their plans to help them continue to grow and learn as adults.”

  Reynolds turned to me at a red light. His eyebrows squished together and he frowned. “Hold up. So people like your brother actually work at normal jobs?”

  I recoiled and rolled my eyes. Nice. Typical ignorant rich guy. “Yeah, just wait and see. People with special needs are capable of doing many jobs in the community. They just need to be given a fair chance.” I couldn’t keep the edge out of my voice.

  Reynolds drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel and grimaced. “Hey, that sounded really shitty. I didn’t mean that. Of course they can work many kinds of jobs.” His voice was soft and his eyes apologetic. A flush spread over his cheeks. He even looked good embarrassed. “I wasn’t trying to be rude. Sometimes I put my foot in my mouth.”

  “I understand. That’s what I’m here for. I’ll fill you in on everything you need to know.”

  He smiled gratefully and proceeded forward as the light turned green. I explained the types of job placements and job training the agency helped with.

  As I watched him grasp the importance of the agency, my own blood started pumping faster through my veins. “You know, the concept is that they won’t just live, but that they’ll thrive. Some parents, mine included, are scared when their kids move out of their homes and into group homes. They lose control when they release vulnerable adults into the world. But if parents can move past their worries, they can witness their children living happier independent lives.”

  I sat back and glanced over at Reynolds as he drove. He nodded along with me, but his posture was stiff and he was silent. Was he nervous to go to Warren with me? If so, that was something I was used to. My whole life I had dealt with friends who had been scared to come to my house because they had thought David might hurt them. One had even thought that what David had was contagious. I had learned early on to spot those who could face their fears and embrace them. Those were the kind of people I wanted as friends for me and my family.

  David’s friends could be intimidating. I had been scared a few times growing up. His best friend, Andy, had no idea how strong he was. When he would hug me, it would hurt. We always had to remind him to be gentle. A few of David’s friends would cuss profusely and almost all of them were incorrigible flirts. I needed to warn Reynolds about that.

  Reynolds' knuckles were white from his tight grip on the steering wheel.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “I’m just a little nervous.” He winced and then pressed his lips tightly together as we pulled into the parking lot.

  “I understand. It’s completely normal. I promise you, some of the people you meet today might be a bit intimidating, but none of them will hurt you. They might hug too hard, ask you a question that throws you, or be hard to understand, but they are the most loving and respectful people you’ll ever meet. And besides, you’re safe with me.” I met his gaze with a reassuring smile and a wink, but he narrowed his eyes and his brow furrowed.

  “That isn’t what I meant.” Reynolds’ face contorted in frustration. He shook his head and looked like he was searching for a way to make himself clear to me. “I’m not scared for my safety. I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing, or not say a term correctly, or be rude accidentally, like I just was with you. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and I sure as hell don’t want them to think I’m talking down to them. Plus, this is Jack’s sacred ground. What if I look like an ass in there?”

  “Reynolds, you won’t say the wrong thing. In the short time I’ve known you, you’ve proven to be sensitive and thoughtful. These are very loving and understanding people. As far as Jack’s legacy, I think everyone will be thrilled that you want it to be memorialized. Plus, I don’t give a shit what anyone else has to say. I think what you’re doing is remarkable.”

  Reynolds rolled his head back, loosening his neck muscles and shot me a smile.

  “Now one final warning. You’ll meet lots of couples in here. A few are married, some are living together, and many are dating. It’s the single ones you’ll need to watch out for. My brother’s friends are as flirtatious as they come. Those girls will be laying it on thick. Be prepared.”

  Reynolds’ jaw dropped as he watched my gleeful expression. “Liz, you can’t be serious. Have they even heard of me?”

  Now it was my turn to drop my jaw. “Umm…Reynolds, some of them will have heard of you and seen your movies. Some probably follow you on Twitter. The ones that haven’t will just look at you and that’s all it’ll take.” I rolled my eyes and opened the door.

  He hurried over to my side and helped me down as he continued to stare at me with doubt. “I don’t think so.”

  “Wanna make a bet? I’ll make you my world famous chicken parmesan for dinner tomorrow if I’m wrong. I bet at least five people, disabled or not, will blatantly hit on you in the next two hours. What do you say, are you a betting man?”

  Reynolds turned me around to face him. “Hell, yeah I’m a betting man! Okay, and if you’re right, I’m sending you to a spa for a day of pampering. The works. Agreed?”

  I smirked at his beautiful face. “Agreed. I have a nasty kink in my back. I’m glad it’ll be worked out soon.” We laughed as we walked to the door, but my breath caught in my throat as a life-sized photo of Jack greeted us when we entered the lobby.

  HOLY SHIT. SEEING Jack’s image in front of me was daunting. He smiled with a fervor that was evident even in a photograph. Other men, particularly “regular” guys like Jack, had never intimidated me, but I was out of my league after learning about this man’s history. I looked like a shallow jerk in comparison. I turned to Liz and caught her wiping her eyes.

  “Gets me every time,” she whispered. “Okay, let’s do this.” She took a deep breath and entered the office.

  I rubbed the stubble on my chin. Christ, I did not want to fuck up here. What I said in the car was so stupid. Jack, even when he first met Liz, would have never been that idiotic. But Liz handled my question with ease. She was stronger than I thought.

  Liz was met with hugs and kisses from the staff. I hung back and watched how much she was adored by the employees at Warren.

  I was so busy thinking about her and Jack’s impact at the agency that I missed the silence that descended on the room. I looked up to see about twenty people gathered in front of their cubicles, gawking at me. Their faces were barely blinking as they focused only on me.

  “Everyone, I’d like you to meet Reynolds Carter,” Liz announced. “He’ll be working with me on a screenplay, and hopefully, a movie about Jack’s life.” Gasps filled the room as people took in the enormity of what she was saying. I was pretty certain most people here had never met an actor, at least not one that made major motion pictures, and here I was ready to make a movie about their Jack. I was sure it was a lot to absorb.

  “We’re here today for Reynolds to meet David and some of his friends. If you’re willing, Reynolds may come back another t
ime to interview some of you and fill in any gaps for Jack’s storyline. I hope everyone is okay with that.”

  Various exclamations of “Sure!” “Of course!” and “Anytime!” filled the room.

  I stepped forward. “I’m honored that Liz is allowing me to tell Jack’s story, which is also your story. I’d love to hear your thoughts about Jack and his work. It’s humbling to be in the presence of people who dedicate their lives to this important work. I promise to honor what you do in this movie.” I looked over, and Liz smiled.

  A full-figured, older woman with long, braided, black hair stepped forward. “Hello, baby. I’m Carla. I’ve been a supervisor here for twenty-five years. I can fill in all sorts of gaps for you.” She leaned closer to me. “And that’s not all I can do for you, sugar. You’re so hot you’re on fire. Mmm, mmm.”

  My mouth fell open, and I looked to Liz with a pleading expression. She merely held up one finger. My stomach sank. The promise of her chicken parmesan was slipping away.

  “Carla. You’ve been happily married for thirty years. Leave that poor man alone.” Liz grinned as the room erupted in laughter. Liz took my arm and led me to the lunchroom.

  “Nice meeting you all!” I called back as we hurried out.

  We entered the agency’s kitchen area, which looked like any standard office lunch space. What made it unique were the fifteen or so faces that eagerly welcomed us.

  A tall, thin man with cropped brown hair and brown eyes that matched his sister’s stood up. “Lizzy Bear!” His face broke into a huge smile as he limped over and enveloped Liz in a hug.

  “David, I’m so glad to see you today. How was work this morning?” Liz rubbed her hands along his bone-thin arms.

  I could see right away what Liz was talking about. David had many disabilities. His arms, hands, and legs were buckled and seemed almost frozen in position. His body looked frail and his speech was slow and slurred. There was no mistaking he needed significant help, but within thirty seconds of meeting him, I could also tell that he was special.

  “Took out the trash and recycling. It’s hard work, but somebody’s got to do it. I need my money, Lizzy Bear.”

  Liz nodded and winked at me. “I know. So you can shop for me. What are you gonna buy me?” The room full of people began hooting and yelling, telling her she was a troublemaker and to leave the man’s money alone. Liz giggled and sat in a chair next to her brother.

  A loud voice from the next table quieted everyone abruptly. “Hey! That’s not Jack!”

  No one spoke for a minute until the woman sitting next to the man that yelled, whispered loudly, “He’s dead! Remember?”

  Liz and I locked eyes. She gave me a quick nod, and I felt that was her sign that she was okay. From everything she had shared with me, I knew some people with special needs had little to no social filter and often said it like it was. It was a refreshing change from the two-faced backstabbing and rumors of Hollywood. But I had been concerned Liz might be hurt by the outburst.

  She reached out and gently rubbed David’s arm, whose brow was wrinkled as he studied the tabletop in front of him. “Everyone, I want to introduce you to my friend. He’s making a movie about Jack.” The cheers and hollers erupted again.

  “Hi. My name is Reynolds. It’s nice to meet you all.” I sat in a chair opposite David. “David, I’ve heard a lot about you. Your sister loves to talk about you.” David shook my hand weakly and grinned. Surprisingly, I felt relaxed around this friendly group. David watched his sister with total adoration, and I could feel the deep bond between them. A pang of envy I had never known moved through me.

  “I know. She loves me tons. Tells me I’m the most handsome guy she knows, and I buy her chocolate bars. Then, she splits ‘em in half with me. We’re a good team.”

  I nodded, trying to swallow past the lump in my throat, as Liz grasped David’s hand.

  “The best team, my main man. The best. Okay, now where is Andy?” Liz searched the room as Andy, a dark haired man with a wild smile rolled over to me in his wheel chair.

  “Hell, hell, hello RRRRReynolds. I’m Andy.” Andy stuttered and extended his hand. I peered at his legs and saw only bony structures covered by pants. They had stopped working long ago, if ever.

  “Gentle, Andy.” Liz reminded him as I shook hands with the strongest grip I had ever encountered. Damn. This guy’s hands were like cinder blocks. He could probably punch through a wall. Where was this guy when Tommy O’Donnell was picking on me at the playground thirty years ago?

  “Andy’s wicked strong from rolling that chair all day,” Liz said, resting her arm over Andy’s shoulder. “He’s also David’s best friend and roommate. And this is Lucy, Andy’s girlfriend.”

  Lucy came over and shook hands with me. Her narrow eyes, short stature, and flat nose were a hint that she had Down syndrome.

  “Oh, and here’s Abby. Hi Abby, honey, how are you?” Liz hugged another young woman with Downs and gave me a big grin over her shoulder.

  Abby then leaned over to hug me and didn’t let go. She seemed completely comfortable to just stand there, hugging me tightly and humming a song.

  “Abby,” Liz warned, “let go and introduce yourself.” Abby reluctantly released me and then gave me a beaming smile.

  “You’re a very sexy guy. I heard on the TV that you’re single now. Had a bad breakup. Me, too. Thomas over there cheated on me. Dickhead Thomas. Would you like to go to the dance with me on Friday? I’m a really, really good kisser. Ask Thomas.”

  Shit. How was I supposed to handle this one?

  Thankfully, Liz decided to save me. “Abby that’s sweet of you, but Reynolds is here to work, not dance. Maybe you can dance with David.” She elbowed her brother who laughed and looked at the floor while murmuring to himself. Abby, meanwhile, shot Liz a death glare. Liz looked up at me and shrugged then held up two fingers. I chuckled and realized my fate was sealed.

  While the afternoon went on, we met many of David’s friends and Jack’s co-workers. The level of dedication and professionalism the staff showed was impressive. The individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities I met were respected, well-cared for, and thriving. I was also hit-on at least seven times, much to my chagrin and Liz’s delight.

  As we exited the building, an older man was about to board a white bus, about half the size of the buses I was used to seeing on the streets.

  “Elwood! Elwood, can you hang on one second?” Liz ran over to the older man, who turned around with a huge grin when he heard her. I noticed a jagged scar that ran down the side of his face.

  “Hello, sweet Liz,” the man said slowly. Liz hugged him and asked the driver if he could wait one minute.

  “Elwood. I want to introduce you to my friend, Reynolds. He’s making a movie about Caldwell closing.” Elwood nodded and met my eyes. We shook hands as Liz continued. “Elwood was one of the first people to leave Caldwell. He had lived there his whole life, but as soon as Jack met him, he knew Elwood could not only leave the center, but hold a job and live independently as well. Elwood’s a full-time janitor here at the agency and has his own apartment. He’s a true success story, and we’re all so proud of him.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Elwood.”

  He smiled and reached out to hug me. I again tried to swallow around the lump in my throat. After several run-ins with over-zealous fans, I hesitated whenever a stranger tried to hug me. Today I met people that cared so much about each other that handshakes weren’t enough.

  Elwood’s voice was shaky. “My whole life I was called a retard. Told I was stupid, worth nothin’. At Caldwell, they would hit me if I didn’t eat fast enough, make my bed right, or clean the bathroom correct. Took my things, laughed at me when I couldn’t speak, and gave me no respect. Hated it there. I’ll never forget Jack. He met me. Shook my hand. Treated me like a man. He saved my life, and I love him.”

  I could only nod as Elwood turned and walked up the stairs to the bus. He waved from his seat
as it pulled away. I stood, unable to move, as I watched the bus turn down the street. My thoughts were all over the place while everything around me moved in slow motion.

  Liz turned toward me, and our eyes met. She looked concerned. “Are you okay? Too much?”

  I couldn’t answer her. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it as we walked to the car. It was too much, but it was all the right kind of too much.

  REYNOLDS HAD DECIDED to write alone at the farm the next day. He had told me he was overwhelmed and needed the day to clear his head. I had called him in the afternoon and invited him over for a late dinner.

  I stood in front of the stove, stirring my marinara sauce and sipping a glass of Chianti, when I heard a knock on the door. “Come in!” I hollered.

  “Hi there.” He spoke softly as he came into the kitchen. “It smells outstanding in here. What are you cooking?”

  “Chicken parmesan.” I grinned at his raised eyebrows. “I know I won, but I couldn’t tease you with the promise of a world famous meal and not deliver. It would be cruel. Plus, I was craving it.”

  “How did I end up benefitting from your cravings in the kitchen?” Reynolds leaned over, inhaling the scent of the sauce and groaned. “I’ve been using food solely for weight loss or muscle gain, depending on the movie role I landed. I’ve forgotten what real food tastes like.”

  I smiled and put a small amount of sauce on a spoon for him to try. “This is one of my favorite ways to show my family how much I care for them.”

  Reynolds tried the sauce and his eyes closed in pleasure.

  I was shocked by how comfortable I felt at that very moment. The simple fact was that I enjoyed his company. I’d gotten so used to being alone every night that it was a treat to take care of another adult.

  Reynolds took the plate I handed him, and our fingers brushed briefly. A tingle ran through me, and I whirled back around to the stove.