Silver Silence

by Nalini Singh

  A harsh exhale. "Come here then." He placed his hand on her lower back, nudging her up and onto him. She didn't resist, soon found herself on a warm wall of muscle, his scent overlaid with a hint of sweat that only made his scent deeper, earthier.

  "Is my weight bearable?"

  His cheek-creasing smile made her stomach flip, the sensation startling. "Starlichka, you can use me as a mattress anytime and for as long as you please." He moved his hand to her lower curves, squeezed with a blunt appreciation that had her fingers digging into his pectoral muscles.

  "You, Ms. Mercant, are the sexiest woman I've ever laid eyes on." This time when his chest vibrated, it was against the hard points of her nipples. "I've been wanting to peel you out of your suits since the first day I saw you."

  Shifting higher up his body as a hot pulse coalesced between her legs, Silver traced the shape of his lips with a fingertip. He groaned, tried to bite her finger. "Stop teasing me." The next bite was on her throat.

  She felt it through her entire body.

  Putting one hand on his shoulder, she pushed down. It was like trying to budge a brick wall. A warm, muscled wall determined to stay exactly where he was. "I'm doing the kissing." She made her tone icy.

  Of course it had little effect on the bear below her. He squeezed her buttocks again, cupping the cheeks with smug possessiveness. "Do it then."

  "My way."

  Thunderclouds darkened his expression. "You're not a kissing expert."

  "I'm a fast learner." She shut him up by pressing her lips to his.

  He groaned and licked his tongue over her lips.

  She broke contact. "Valentin."

  Dropping his head to the floor, he patted the flesh he'd been fondling. "Sorry. Gentleman bear. Promise."

  This time when she pressed her lips to his, he let her lead. The contact was intensely intimate, the feel of his jaw under her palm rough, while his lips were firm but mobile. Taking her lead from him, she licked her tongue over the seam of his lips. Shuddering below her, Valentin moved his free hand to gently cup the back of her head. His conscious tenderness made things deep inside her tug, melt.

  As if he were caressing her heart.

  Valentin parted his lips. It was an invitation. It was also a dare.

  Silver took it. And he brushed his tongue against hers.

  Shivering, she broke contact, feeling drunk on him.

  His pupils were dilated, his skin flushed, his hands still on her. "I think, moyo solnyshko," he said solemnly, "we should kiss a lot so you can become an expert."

  Silver brushed her cheek against the stubble of his jaw just to experience the sensation, drank in his groan. "I begin to understand why my race fought so hard against Silence when it was first introduced."

  Valentin squeezed the back of her neck. "Give me your mouth again."

  Silver knew it was a bad idea to escalate things so quickly, but she was discovering she had few defenses against this alpha bear. Bracing her palms on either side of his head, she kissed him with unleashed possessiveness of her own. "Will you carry my scent now?"

  His smile was slow and very, very satisfied. "You're trying to brand me."

  Locking eyes with his, she fisted a hand in his hair. "Answer the question."

  He fondled her some more. "I already carry your brand, Starlight." A nuzzle against her before a sudden scowl marred his features. "Some durak is coming this way."

  Silver didn't have a chance to respond before there was a knock on her door.

  *

  VALENTIN had to yell at Yakov to go bother someone else before the other man would stop his irritating knocking. Yakov yelled back, "Here I was, doing you a favor! Pasha would've barged in, and Stasya would've had a camera to capture you in flagrante."

  "Do you want me to beat you dead?"

  Yakov laughed. "I smell a frustrated bear."

  "Yakov."

  Laughing without remorse, his second finally left, but not before calling out, "If you don't come join the party, Stasya will be your next visitor!"

  By that time, Silver, her lips kiss-swollen because he was a barbarian gentleman bear, had pushed off him to ready herself for the party. On the floor still, Valentin tried to think of frigid showers and mangy wolves. His erection laughed at him. So he made himself think of how Silver's eyes had gone black, of how she'd so abruptly broken contact.

  Ice trickled down his spine, took care of his eager cock.

  Silver wasn't his yet. Silence might yet succeed in stealing away his mate. His bear's heart had known who she was to him for a long time. It was the man who'd shied away, scared of falling so hard and deep for a woman who might never look at him the same way.

  But, chert, who had he been kidding? He'd been hers from day one.

  Today he watched her put on her makeup; she'd already fixed the hair he'd had such fun messing up, and she'd changed into a thin green sweater with winter sparkles that Nova had given her. He knew she'd say nothing about his own T-shirt and ripped jeans--Silver saw him exactly as he was--but he was sweaty from the run to and back from seeing the cubs in the dissenting group.

  "Wait for me," he said before going to his own room.

  Jumping into the shower, he washed off the sweat. That done, his wet hair rubbed dry and left to do what it would, he changed into less-ripped jeans and a clean shirt in a dark gray that he hadn't worn before. Folding up the long sleeves, he walked over to knock on Silver's door.

  She opened it, looked him up and down. "I'm not sure I recognize you."

  Wanting to kiss her perfectly glossed lips, he spread out his arms. "How do I look in your favorite color?"

  "Inexplicably respectable, though I see you still haven't found your comb."

  Chuckling because he could tell Starlight liked his hair just fine, he held out his hand.

  She gave him a cool look . . . but she took his hand, his ice queen who burned with a passionate fire.

  Silver Mercant, he knew, would fight to the death, break all the rules, ignore every boundary, for those who were her own.

  Valentin wanted to be one of those people.

  His bear's heart stubborn with the determination to win her, he led her to the Cavern and into the warmth and joy and chaos of a party thrown by StoneWater bears. This time, it would be a big one, as the following day was a weekend. His heart swelled. "No one throws a better party." Silver's touch, the happiness in this room, it took the edge off the gnawing pain that was his sundered clan.

  "For some reason, I don't see you as an impartial judge."

  Valentin grinned before holding up a hand for silence. For a clan of rowdy bears, they shushed each other very quickly. Especially after an elder or three whacked the backs of certain heads.

  "Today we celebrate the birth of a new clanmate!" He held up his hand again to quiet the second round of roars, this time accompanied by foot stomping. "Before we start the party, however, I think we should know the guest of honor's name."

  Before the noise could start up again, he hollered, "Settle down! This is a newborn bear we're talking about, not one of you ruffians!"

  Laughter, followed by more shushing, elbows being dug into the sides of the overloud. "Keep it at this volume until our littlest clanmate is back in the infirmary," he ordered. "Or I swear I'll crack some skulls."

  Leaving Silver with a pat on the butt that had her raising a pointed eyebrow and clanmates smirk-smiling as they tried to pat the butts of their own lovers, he turned to go bring Moira, Leo, and their cub into the Cavern.

  And Silver's hand patted his ass in full view of his clan.

  Chapter 30

  THE NOISE THIS time around was of a level that threatened to blow off the Cavern roof. Ridiculously pleased, Valentin looked over his shoulder and met those eyes of glorious silver that hid so much. "Can't keep your hands off me? I knew it."

  Her gaze lit with an inward fire in answer.

  Feeling happier than he had in forever, a damn puppy dancing on his heart, he said, "Y
ou calm them down before I get back here with the cub."

  He knew she'd get the job done. Clan of bears versus Silver Mercant? No contest.

  He was proved right five minutes later when he returned with Moira and Leonid, Moira cradling their newborn in her arms. The baby was awake in that drowsy infant way. He'd focused on Valentin's face long enough to know his alpha was there and happy with him, but was now blinking sleepily against his mama's skin, Moira holding the baby to her chest, her shirt buttons open to permit it.

  No one would've cared if she'd turned up buck naked; changelings were far more comfortable with nudity than either humans or Psy. But Moira needed to stay warm, as did her baby, so she was wearing loose fleece pants and one of her much bigger mate's checked shirts. The sleeves were rolled halfway up her forearms, the tails hanging loosely, her hair in a careless knot.

  She glowed, a woman who shone with love.

  "Oooh." The subdued sound of awe and delight whispered toward them from an otherwise silent horde of waiting bears, deathly excited tiny gangsters included.

  Silver stood a little to the side, but when Valentin held out his hand, she didn't hesitate to join him. His Starlight had made up her mind, and she'd decided on him. Valentin wasn't giving her back. He wanted to stomp his feet and roar his defiance to the heavens. Only his alpha awareness of the baby stopped him.

  "You have the floor," he said to the new parents.

  Moira, in turn, smiled up at her mate. "You tell them, honey."

  Cuddling his mate and baby to his side, Leonid said, "Our cub's premature arrival caught us a touch unprepared with a name--but then we saw his sweet face and saw the mischief well-hidden, and we had it." He kissed his mate on the temple. "StoneWater, meet Danil 'Danusha' Popov."

  Wide grins split every face in the Cavern except for Silver's--she was looking at the baby with intent care. When Moira passed the infant to Valentin, and he went down on one knee so all the curious small bears could come greet their new clanmate, he was aware of her staying close, as curious as the cubs.

  When more little bodies wriggled closer, however, she moved out of the way to give them room. A few small plump fingers dared touch the baby's cheek. The newborn's happiness at meeting his tiny clanmates pounded inside Valentin, the knowledge of an alpha nothing he could explain.

  He just knew the newborn was happy to be here, in amongst his clan. But he also knew when the littlest one of them all began to tire. "You can see him later," he promised the cubs. "He needs to rest now."

  "Good night, baby," whispered several voices in unison.

  Valentin rose and returned the newest member of StoneWater to his parents before escorting the couple back to the infirmary. Afterward, he found Nova. "Come play with us," he said, because healers had a way of giving and giving without pause. "I think those three will be happy alone for an hour or two."

  Nova's eyes searched his face. "How are they?"

  Valentin knew she wasn't talking about the young family. Smile fading, he said, "Not tonight, Nova."

  Tonight was a celebration.

  Tonight, Silver had patted his ass.

  The memory cut through his renewed anguish to put a grin on his face.

  Nova immediately narrowed her eyes. "What have I missed?"

  "You'll have to ask Chaos." Blowing her a kiss when she glared, he backed out of her office. "See you later, Evanator."

  She threatened to throw medical supplies at his head. It only made his grin deepen as he returned to the Cavern and to Silver--who was currently seated in the middle of a semicircle of astonished cubs, ages three to seven. The noise level in the rest of the Cavern--the party in full swing--kept him from picking up their conversation until he was less than two feet away.

  ". . . really not allowed to smile?" Nurlan asked in an awed whisper.

  "No," Silver said. "Under Silence, no one is allowed to smile or laugh or cry."

  "But what if you hurted yourself?" another small voice asked.

  "It doesn't matter," Silver said. "You are expected to control your reaction and to not cry or otherwise betray your emotions."

  A small hand patted Silver's knee. "Did you cry inside?"

  Silver's eyes locked on the speaker's face. "You're very clever. What's your name?"

  "Svetlana Valeria Kuznetsov," was the carefully spoken answer. "Mostly, I'm Sveta. My mama and papa and Mishka call me Svetulia a lot."

  "Yes, Sveta, when I was small, I cried inside because it hurt to hide my emotions," Silver said with a razor-sharp honesty that made her more like a bear than she knew. "But after a while, I learned not to cry inside, either."

  "That sounds sad." Dima's expression was mournful.

  "It was all I knew," Silver said. "As being a changeling bear is all you know."

  Thoughtful frowns on a number of faces. "Do you like being noisy now?" Sveta asked after a long pause.

  "Noisy?"

  "'Cause you were Silent before?"

  "Oh, I see." Silver took time to consider the question. "Emotion--being noisy--is new to me. But . . . yes, I think I like being noisy. The world is a much more eclectically beautiful place with emotion in it, despite the clear disadvantage of losing the power of pure rationality."

  "You talk funny," Arkasha volunteered. "I like you though."

  "Thank you. I like you, too."

  "And me?" asked more than one voice.

  "All of you," Silver said. "You've been very welcoming to me."

  A rainbow of smiles, pure innocent joy.

  "Now," Silver said, rising to her feet, "I think you should go join the party."

  Valentin came forward before the cubs could swarm her with hugs. Gathering them up in his arms with a growling rumble that made them squeal, he squeezed and kissed and played until they ran off to go raid the dessert table. No one would be too strict today, though it was likely they'd be given actual food at some point to make sure they didn't turn into sugar monsters.

  "You're good with the little beasts," he said to Silver, putting his hand on her hip just because he could.

  "Children are children. But Sveta is perceptive--this isn't the first time I've heard her ask an incisive question for a child of her age. Have you had her tested for empathy?"

  Valentin scratched his jaw. "A psychic power?"

  "Psy did intermarry and intermate with other races pre-Silence. The genes are swimming around in the wider gene pool."

  "I've always known she was sensitive, that I had to take extra care with her"--even with her tiny gangster buddies, Sveta was always the caretaker--"but I figured that meant she's a baby healer. Nova thinks so, too."

  "Interesting." Silver fixed the collar of his shirt. "Empathy might be present in all changeling healers. There are so many things the races don't know about one another because Silence split us in three."

  Valentin turned so she could more easily fuss over him. So everyone could see her fussing over him. No, he wasn't subtle. He was a bear. "I don't know if it was all Silence," he said as she smoothed out a wrinkle. "Changelings do a good job of staying in our caves." Their close-knit pack and clan structures gave them their strength, but also made it difficult for outsiders to break through.

  Music boomed into life, a heavy bass beat.

  Unable to wait to hold Silver in his arms, Valentin hauled her into a dance. He made sure to keep her back to a wall, so that people wouldn't bump into her, the bulk of his body her living shield. His reward was to have her snuggled deliciously close, until his bear rolled in her scent like a cub.

  "You move like you were born to move against me, Starlight," he murmured against her ear. "We're going to be so fucking good together naked."

  *

  SILVER ran her hand up Valentin's shirt, flicked open one button, two. Her fingers curled into the crisp mat of hair below. She wondered what it would be like to rub her naked breasts against the crispness.

  "Silver." Dark eyebrows gathering over eyes of onyx, his expression stern. "Stop that or I'll forget
to be a gentleman bear and start devouring you."

  The rumbling sound vibrated against her fingertips, made her breasts ache. "Okay."

  "Okay?" Eyes going amber, he glared at her. "You have terrible timing." He pulled back, grabbed her head with both hands, looked into her eyes. "I'm alpha, Starlichka. I can't leave the party yet."

  "We can come back." A sense of urgency pounded at her. A nameless panic that said she had to take this opportunity before it slipped forever out of her grasp. Because a knowing had begun to buzz at the back of her brain, a buzz she didn't want to hear.

  Expression altering to a perceptiveness that reminded Silver that this wild, affectionate bear was also a highly intelligent opponent on the business field, Valentin searched her gaze. "What's wrong?"

  "I'm eager to experience intimate skin privileges."

  "You're lying to me, Starlight," he said, making no effort to hide his hurt that she'd do that.

  And Silver learned that his hurt was a blow to her own heart. "It's a lie of omission," she whispered, their bodies and minds locked in an intimate world surrounded by the thunder of a bear celebration. "I'll tell you the rest after." When it wouldn't taint the memory, when it wouldn't shatter the moment into jagged splinters.

  "I'll hold you to that."

  "I would expect nothing less." Sliding her arms around the warm bulk of him, she placed her cheek against his shoulder, her height suiting his.

  He enveloped her in the warmth of his embrace, one hand sliding up her back and the other down to her lower curves again. Yet this time, it wasn't sexual. It was possessive and protective in that rough Valentin way, a way to which she was becoming used.

  "You going to overload?" he asked as the bass beat of his heart became her anchor. "Don't you dare lie to me about that, moyo solnyshko. If you make me harm you, I'll never forgive you."

  Silver threw up another desperate layer of shielding. "I have it under control." No lie. Not yet.

  Sinking into this instant when she was free of a cage that had saved her and imprisoned her, she cleared her mind of all other thoughts, her attention only on the wild, beautiful man who called her his sunshine and who saw starlight in her eyes.

  The steady beat of his huge heart.

  The raw warmth of a body that would protect her against every threat.

  The earth and green of his scent, so familiar to her now that she searched for it when it was missing.