I groaned. “I’m sorry, okay? It doesn’t feel right to me. If she’s really that bad, then we shouldn’t be using her, either.”
“I know,” he said in a low voice. “Want to hear something really weird? Jeremy did something to her. Something alpha. I think he wants to take over here.”
My laugh was harsh. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. I don’t trust him. Opa literally forbade Byron from talking back, and Jeremy laughed in his face. I don’t understand Jeremy.”
“I could say the same for Opa, although, sometimes he seems to be breaking down and getting back to normal.”
“Well, he’d better do it soon, or there’ll be nothing left here for him to get back to.”
He shuddered, and we fell silent for a few minutes.
“You saw Perdita today?” he asked, his voice brightening.
“Yep. Briefly.”
“Good. You’re staying with her all day when we persuade Opa to meet with the other wolves.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he wouldn’t hear it.
“Seriously, Amelia. All of us have to go to make sure you’re both safe, in case they really are trying to backstab us. Promise you’ll stay safe.”
“I promise. But I’m going out now.”
“To do what?”
I laughed, almost joyously. “To hang around.”
Hanging around consisted of sitting on a wall outside Ger’s house. The boys on one side of the street, girls on the other.
“This is kind of ridiculous,” I whispered to Ger as Julie whistled over at the boys. “Why are we doing this again?”
“Because it’s fun,” Ger whispered back.
I wasn’t convinced. Whistling back and forth seemed pretty lame; however, it was better than sitting at home, especially if I was going to be trapped indoors throughout the following day.
“The boys are all dying to talk to you,” Ger said, glancing sideways at me.
“What? Why?”
“Think it’s your accent. Bit of strange.” Julie winked, but her smile seemed forced.
“Well, I’m not interested. We’ll probably end up moving on soon anyway.”
“Really? To where?” Julie perked up.
I shrugged, feeling awkward all of a sudden. “Who knows? Wherever the road takes us.”
“That’s so cool. I would love if my family upped and left whenever they felt like it. I’d go everywhere, see everything, and I so would not be taking any stupid exams.”
“Everything catches up with you,” I said, but she wasn’t listening anymore. I looked over at the boys again. Julie ventured over to them, gaining the attention of everyone except Connor. His eyes remained on me. He was a constant. The silent figure I couldn’t ignore, and didn’t want to ignore. I wanted to hear him talk and laugh. I wanted to know what he was really like, and I realised too late, I wanted to see if he could compare to Andriy.
Suddenly, the act of bringing Connor out of his shell felt like a game to me, and I sauntered over to him, surprised by my own bravery.
“Hi,” I said when I stood directly in front of him, ignoring the whispers and giggles around us.
He didn’t blink. “Hey.”
I felt awkward then, not quite knowing what to do next, so I turned and walked away. If he followed, cool. If he didn’t, I’d tell everyone I had decided to go home. Real mature.
Luckily, he followed. I could sense him, even before I heard his footsteps. I led him toward the woods but didn’t know why I was moving toward the place my grandmother had been murdered. I usually took the long way around to avoid the woods, but there I was, heading straight for the trees, daring something to come for me.
As he reached me, his hand slipped around mine, and he led me among the trees and away from safety, straight into the darkness.
The thought occurred to me that he had something to do with the werewolves, and that he might be leading me into danger, but he pushed me against a tree and kissed me roughly, instead. When our teeth collided, I thought I might die of embarrassment, but he didn’t stop and instead, wrapped his arms around my waist.
He tasted like mint, and his kiss was a little sloppy. But I liked being in the woods and having something to think about other than death. I needed to make memories that didn’t involve loss or grief. I drank in his scent, feeling dizzy as it overwhelmed me, and I clung to him tighter than before. I was afraid to let go, but I was more afraid of letting the bad thoughts arise. I shivered, and he pulled away before I could stop him.
“You okay?” he whispered, his lips redder than usual, and that calm expression wiped off his face. I nodded, staring at him, wondering why I wasn’t afraid or embarrassed anymore. Everything I had imagined about him had blown up in my face. Now he was ordinary and like everyone else. Yet, I didn’t leave.
I didn’t wander into woods to kiss boys I barely knew every day, but I felt as though this might be the right thing to do this time. A little of the ache in my chest dissipated while he held me, the pain flying away at the normality of it all. Not the perfect kiss or the perfect boy, but definitely, the perfect time.
I kissed him again, and he held me closer than before, his hands travelling across my body until I pushed him away.
“I have to go,” I said.
Without protest, he nodded, and moved to follow me.
“I don’t need to be walked home,” I insisted. I needed to catch my breath.
“I know,” he said once again, falling into step next to me.
We walked in silence to my home, and the awkwardness came back with a bang. We lingered outside my house, and though he moved to kiss me, I pulled back and glanced warily at the house.
“My family…”
“I don’t care,” Connor said before kissing me briefly on the lips. “Can I see you Saturday?”
“Oh, I can’t. I promised my brother…”
“The day after, then,” he said before I could think of a reasonable excuse.
“Oh.” I fidgeted at my bracelet as I considered the question. Did I really want to see him on the weekend? Yes. Did I want to kiss him again? Maybe. Was it better than sitting at home with my family? Definitely.
“Okay,” I said after a couple of seconds. “I’d like that.”
“I’ll knock for you, maybe.” He kissed me for a moment longer before heading off, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. Watching him leave, I was baffled by the way I had acted. I needed to get inside before one of my family members sniffed me, and him, out. That would be embarrassing.
Inside, Nathan pointedly didn’t say a word about Connor, even though I could tell he knew what was going on.
I almost smiled.
***
I eavesdropped on the family meeting that didn’t include me. It was more of the same circling and disagreeing and hurt feelings. Nathan was convinced that this other wolf, Ryan, would help us, and he was standing up to Opa, except my grandfather wouldn’t accept what Nathan claimed. He couldn’t seem to face doing things somebody else’s way. Well, if Nathan could stand up to him, then so could I. When Opa stormed off, completely unwilling to listen or be reasonable, I decided to take him on.
Nathan and Jeremy took Byron to see Ryan, leaving me alone with Opa. I knew he probably wanted to be entirely alone, but this time, I wasn’t going to take his feelings into consideration. This time, I needed to be strong, tenacious, and brave. All of the things I wanted to be.
“Don’t you think running off to have a sulk is a little counter-productive?”
He almost dropped his mug of coffee in surprise. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“You’re a werewolf. Sneaking up should be near impossible.”
“Yes, well…” He waved me away in his embarrassment. “Don’t you have some homework to do?”
“No.” I stared at his back, wondering how to begin. I finally decided on jumping in. Screw the consequences. “Opa. When are you going to see sense? Can’t you see you’re pulling the famil
y apart? If you really want them to respect you, then you have to show some respect first. You can’t act like a bull and shove your way through every conversation.”
He raised both brows in surprise. “Child, are you really lecturing me on manners?”
“No. Common sense, maybe. We’ve only just pulled Nathan back into the fold, yet you seem determined to push him away again. You loved us once. Doesn’t that mean anything to you now?”
We stared at each other as my words echoed in the air. Did he love us still? Was that hurt I saw in his eyes?
“Mémère would want you to take care of us. She’d want you to love us, no matter what. And Nathan’s not stupid. He’s pretty smart… for a werewolf. And if he says he trusts Ryan, then I believe him. Maybe you should give him some credit for a change.” He didn’t say a word as I left the room, but I turned back for the last word anyway. “You might not remember the man you used to be, but I do. He wasn’t anything like you, and I’d really love to have him back.”
***
Kali
She hadn’t seen him for three days. Three whole days. Nibbling on her fingernail, she wondered what could have happened. Had he grown bored of her? Too busy on the farm? Had his wife found out and forbidden him from seeing her?
Every single day that she didn’t see him felt worse than the last. She barely ate; she couldn’t sleep, and her takings grew less and less as her concentration fell. Her heart was breaking at his desertion. She knew his absence would tear her up. She wouldn’t survive losing the only hope she’d had. He’d been the only one to keep her going.
Drina had all but abandoned her and constantly insisted that Kali should take on her responsibilities with pleasure. Keeping joy in her heart, when her world was crumbling around her, seemed impossible.
She watched for him on the way home, desperate for a glimpse of him. A gasp of relief came to her lips as she saw his form. She ran to him, urgent in her need to get close to him, but he backed away, hands raised.
“What is it?” he asked as his eyes darted from side to side.
“Where have you been?” she demanded, tears standing in her eyes.
He looked momentarily shocked at her words. “I don’t have an obligation to you.”
She bit her bottom lip to squelch a sob. “But you said…”
“I’m sorry.” His eyebrows gathered into a frown. “Did something happen to you?”
“Oh, Andriy. The worst news I could ever hear.”
She trudged across the fields to find a place to sit, confident he was behind her. When her tears had stopped, she told him everything.
“The ceremony is in a couple of days. And after that, he’s forcing me to marry.”
“To marry,” he said slowly. “To a good man?”
She shook her head. “A vile man. My father’s selling me, condemning me to a life of misery. I can’t live like this.”
“We all have our crosses to bear.”
For some reason his words irritated her even more. She thought he would at least be upset at the idea.
“Do you even understand what this means? I’ll live a decade of misery, and then I’ll die in childbirth. Because all he wants, all any of them want, are my children.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Sorry,” she gasped. “Sorry? You don’t see it. You don’t see what will happen. In a couple of days I will be chovihani. I will work every day. And I am the seventh of the seventh. My children will be guardians of my people. Wolf guardians.”
“Wolfmen?” he asked, his voice suddenly excited.
“Of sorts,” she said, feeling as if the life would drain out of her right in front of him if he didn’t begin to speak the words she needed to hear. “Don’t you care that I’ll be married?”
“I’m married,” he said gently, and her tears began again.
“I thought you would help me get away,” she cried before running away. He called after her, but she couldn’t bear to look at him. He didn’t care for her after all.
Her life was almost over.
Chapter Twelve
Amelia
I woke up with the worst headache yet. With tears streaming from my eyes—partly from Kali’s sorrow—I struggled to get dressed. Nathan had already knocked on my door three times to get me out of the house and to safety, which he thought was the café of the hospital, a slightly ridiculous idea to me. Apparently, my lecture had helped the cause, because Opa had finally decided he wanted to meet with Ryan and Willow, once and for all.
I would be stuck to Perdita’s hip while the rest of the family took care of business, but at least I would get out. Besides, Perdita and I needed some time together. I checked my phone, but neither Connor nor Ger had texted or called me since I kissed Connor. I tried to ignore my disappointment. I wasn’t even sure if I liked Connor that much, but if he’d acknowledged what happened, at the very least, I would have felt better.
She was waiting for me outside the hospital, dancing from one foot to the other.
“I’m so happy to see you,” she said with a grin. “I’m bored out of my mind here.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit you more often.”
She looked taken aback. “Are you kidding? You have your own stuff to be dealing with. I’m happy you’re here now. I’m kind of nervous, though. Wanna wig out on caffeine with me all day?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
We bagged ourselves a table by the window. She really was hyped up. She couldn’t stop fidgeting. I wondered how it would feel to constantly wonder if your mate was okay or not.
“So how is everything at school?” she asked. “Joey only remembers the bits to do with actual studying, and he’s crazy dedicated to revising for the summer exams.”
“Freak,” I couldn’t help saying, but she grinned at me.
“I know, right?”
“It’s okay. Kind of lucky it’s a doss year because I haven’t been paying much attention.”
“Just okay?” she asked.
“Well, kind of awful, really.”
She made a sympathetic face. “What is it?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly irritated by the heat of my hair. “It’s just… everyone’s constantly talking about either you or Nathan, lately, or this thing with your dad, or Nathan scrapping with Aaron. It’s tiring to hear the same questions, over and over again.”
“New friends not helping?”
“Actually, Tammie kind of helps me out now and then. Weird, I know. I wish she could be like that the whole time.”
A frown marred her expression. “Yeah. I don’t know what’s going on with her, but there’s obviously something.”
“I kind of kissed someone last night,” I blurted, my cheeks heating up from the look she gave me.
“Who?”
“Connor. Don’t know his surname. He’s in my year, though. You know him?”
“There’s, like, seven Connors in your year. I need a little extra,” she said wryly.
“I don’t know much about him. I think he lives near me. He hangs around with Ger and Julie, those girls you saw me with. And he has the coolest colour eyes I’ve ever seen.”
“Um, well, I don’t know about the eye thing, but I think I might know him. He has a brother in sixth year. So, what, you like him?”
I shrugged. I really liked Andriy. Or rather, Kali liked him so much that her desire had left its mark on me as well. What I felt for Connor didn’t measure up to that in any way. “Maybe. We’re supposed to be meeting up tomorrow, but… you know.”
“Okay, what’s the deal, Little Miss Not-So-Enthusiastic? You like him or not?”
I had to laugh at her expression. I wondered if our relationship was similar to one between sisters, and I thought of Kali and Drina. Yep, pretty much exactly what it would be like.
“He’s… nice. I think I might like him a lot if it wasn’t for…”
“For what?”
“Andriy,” I admitted.
&nb
sp; “Who now?”
“Andriy. Andriy from my dreams.”
She scrunched up her nose. “Please tell me you’re not serious.”
“It’s not like… it isn’t… Oh, for the love of… it’s not me. It’s Kali. She’s crazy in love with Andriy, and I feel it, too. Everything she feels in the dreams ripples out into real life. I get so many of the echoes that I can’t remember what I’m about.”
“Now, I’m worried,” she said, “because I don’t feel as if you’re exaggerating here. And this sounds really freaking dangerous to me.”
“Dangerous? How?”
“Well, what if she feels like hurting somebody? Hurting herself? What would that do to you? I think you’re right about these dreams. They have to mean something. Nobody dreams about the same person night after night. At least, not in the way you are. You need to speak to your grandfather about this. Maybe he knows more than we would. And those headaches. You’re still getting them, right?”
I nodded glumly.
“Not only that,” she said, then hesitated. “You look sick, Amelia. Really sick. Don’t think I can’t see how thin you’ve gotten because you’re piling on the clothes.”
“I’m not doing it on purpose. I just can’t eat enough.”
“Maybe you really are sick. We’re in a hospital. We could ask one of the nurses about the headaches.”
“No.” I shook my head fervently and regretted it as blinding pain shot through my skull. “Not now. Let’s get this other stuff out of the way first.”
Her face fell, and I could see she had almost forgotten what Nathan was doing.
“They’ll be fine,” I reassured her, as genuine pain flitted across her face.
“I know. Even if it’s all a trick, they’ll still be okay, right?”
I couldn’t knock away her hopeful look. “Of course. They know what they’re doing.”
“When is this going to end? I mean, how long is it going to take? Are they ever going to stop coming for us?”
I wanted to throw up. The pain was worsening. I took some painkillers before answering. “It has to stop. One way or another. We have to wait until…” I took a deep breath. “Until my family does what it takes to end the conflict.”
Adversity (Cursed #2.5) Page 11
