After the play, he went onstage and gave Celine the flowers. He even kissed her on the cheek in front of the entire auditorium. If he was going to make it work, he had to throw himself into it wholeheartedly. And getting serious about Celine, sweet, passionate, adorable Celine, was step one.
THE NEXT DAY, Chris woke up with resolve. He was going to get out of his funk and work on letting Katie go. The night before, he had asked Celine to be his girlfriend and she had agreed. He’d even told her he’d tryout for the next play. Yeah, right, as if they’d accept him. He didn’t have an ounce of theatrical talent in his body. But he seriously thought they could put him to work on stage design. That seemed more up his alley. Celine was so happy, she started singing and dancing all around him right there in the parking lot as they walked toward his car. She told him it was the happiest night of her life. He was genuinely happy for her, but he wasn’t so sure what he was feeling.
After getting out of the shower and throwing on the first thing he pulled out of the closet, he took all his sketches of Katie and himself and threw them in the trash. It broke his heart to see all his work lying in the bin like that. So he took out each one and methodically, stoically, tore them in two. He felt as if he was purging his feelings. Ripping them to shreds so he could make room for new ones. What had Celine said on their first so-called date? Something about him living in the dark. But he was now going to have a bright, happy future—with her. He certainly hoped so. He opened his bedroom door and dumped the trashcan outside, hoping Manang Cora would take it away before he was ready to go down for breakfast.
Had he left the door open or closed it a few minutes later, he would have been speechless to find the subject of his drawings slowly walking up the stairs, holding the two sketches she had taken from him the afternoon before. Maybe if he had just waited a few seconds longer, she wouldn’t have spotted the torn sketches in the trash. And maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t have taken them all in her hands, clutched them to her chest, changed her mind about what she was going to say, and turned on her heel to walk back home.
LIKE NOBODY ELSE
THE FAIRY LIGHTS twinkled above their heads like stars, strung out to give an atmosphere of romance. Round, white paper lanterns also hung all around them, resembling floating crystal balls. Katie wondered whether she could see her future in one of them if she stood on a Tiffany chair and brought her face up close to it. She was dying to ask it to please be kind, to let her know she was still destined for happily ever after even if right now, it all looked a little hazy.
She gazed silently at the happy couple on the wooden dance floor in the middle of the ballroom, their arms wrapped around each other in bliss. The bride’s eyes were closed and there was a gentle smile on her lips, as if she were living her happiest moment and savoring every single drop. Then, a photographer all dressed in black, but nowhere near stealthy, walked up to them and snapped several photos. The groom had spotted him and turned to flash him a huge, proud smile. Katie caught herself smiling too at the infectious joy that radiated from her friends. She could never be unhappy at a wedding. Weddings were her favorite events in the world—ever since she was a junior bridesmaid at her Ate Regina and Kuya Ben’s when she was nine years old.
She loved weddings so much that she had joined a wedding planning company straight after college and was now a wedding planner in training. Her goal was to run her own wedding planning company in the future. But she wasn’t working tonight. She was part of the entourage and her bosses wanted her to enjoy the evening.
“Hey, you okay?” Her best friend Megan sat down next to her, breathless from the dance floor, her pretty face a nice, dewy pink. “I don’t understand why Tasha and Tom are slow dancing while they’re playing rock!”
Katie laughed. Megan was definitely no romantic. “They’re probably just so happy to be married. Finally.” Their friend Tasha had come home right after college in the UK, with a fiancé in tow. Her parents were shocked and wanted her to wait a few more years since she had just graduated, but Tom was a missionary and committed to traveling the world—and Tasha wanted to go with him. So the best way to do that was to get married straight away. Katie and Megan were also skeptical since they’d just met him, but Tasha seemed so sure and so in love that they figured it was for the best. Also, she seemed so much more mature than when she had left them in high school. Maybe that’s what studying in the UK and having a British boyfriend did to you. Whatever it was, Katie was happy for her and proud to help plan her wedding.
Katie gave Megan a sad smile. “They’re in love, crazy. They don’t want to let each other go.” Then before she knew it, tears started falling down her cheeks. “Oh great,” she muttered, hoping Megan wouldn’t notice. Fat chance of that.
“Oh, Kate.” Megan quickly enveloped her in a hug, making her cry even harder. “What’s wrong? Please tell me it’s because you’re so happy for them.”
Katie willed her tears to stop as she reached for the tissue in her clutch bag. She had tissue ready, but it was only for the few tears she had expected to shed while her friend was walking down the aisle, not for the torrent that seemed to be gushing from her eyes. “I can’t let Tasha see me like this. Her night will be ruined. I’ll be back.” Katie jumped up and ran toward the bathroom. As she ran with her head down, she collided into someone and almost lost her balance. Dizzy from the crash and eyes still blurry with tears, Katie felt two strong hands grab her shoulders before she could fall backwards on her four-inch heels.
“Kate! Oh, man. Are you okay?” She knew that voice. It was a voice she hadn’t heard in a while. A voice she had missed so much it was almost painful. What was she talking about? It was painful. But she had dealt with it. She had accepted it and forced herself to move on.
She looked up, knowing she must have looked a wreck, but steeled herself and tried her best to smile. “Chris.” Without thinking, she gave into impulse and threw her arms around him, squeezing him for all she was worth. Oh, how she had missed him. But before he could hug her back, she remembered they weren’t nineteen anymore. And he wasn’t in love with her anymore. Feeling another rush of tears, she said, “Sorry about that. Bathroom emergency!” immediately let him go, and turned toward the exit doors.
“Hey, wait, I haven’t seen you in a year and that’s all you have to say to me?” Chris grabbed her bare arm and tightened his grip as she tried to wriggle herself free.
Katie widened her eyes at him and said, “Chris, are you seriously stopping me from going to the bathroom? I’ll see you when I get out, okay?” Old habits died hard. It was so easy to slip back into the comfortable way she used to talk to him.
He laughed. “I’ve missed you. See you in a bit.”
Without another word, Katie fled to the ladies’ room. He didn’t even notice her tears. He was either that happy to see her or he didn’t know her that well anymore. A few years ago, all it took was one look for him to know something was wrong. Katie felt the tears fall and she knew that this time, she was also crying over her best friend—the one she had lost three years ago. Long before he had left for Australia to study graphic design.
She locked herself in a stall, thankful that the entire bathroom was empty. She needed time alone. To think. To get herself together. To be okay again before she went back out there.
She and Andrew, her boyfriend of six years, were having problems. Well, he didn’t think they were having problems, but she did. And that was even worse than when they would both fight over something petty. Andrew was in med school and extremely busy. He wasn’t even able to get away to attend Tasha’s wedding. He and Katie had talked about this before his first year and she knew in her head how difficult it was going to be—how she was going to have to spend less time with him, and more time on her own or with her friends. But knowing it in your head and actually going through it were two totally different things. What sucked was that Andrew seemed to be experiencing so many new things and seemed less and less interested in what was going on in
her life. Okay, that wasn’t fair at all. He cared. When he was awake. He cared. When he was there. He worried about her, he texted every chance he could get (which wasn’t often), and he kept reminding her that she just had to wait a few more years and all this was going to be over. Katie wanted to believe him. She wasn’t this needy. She never was. She had her own activities, she was actually president of the student council in her senior year, and she had tons of friends to distract her. But senior year was the year she fell apart. Not only was that the year Andrew had entered med school, but that was the year Chris had left as well. Chris was able to find an arts program in Australia that would give him training and exposure he would never get in the Philippines. They would credit his three years of college and give him a degree at the end of two years or so. It worked out pretty well. Except that Katie was, all of a sudden, left all alone.
Sure she and Chris had drifted apart long before that—when he got together with Celine—but his physical absence was more than Katie could bear. He would e-mail her once in a while from Australia, but it seemed as if they had both already let go of each other. Katie knew why and blamed herself for it. She could have said something. She could have given them a happily ever after. But she didn’t. When she heard that Chris had asked Celine to be his girlfriend, she knew she had to step out of the picture or he would never be happy. She felt it was totally unfair if she still hung around so she left them to their honeymoon phase where they seemed to have disappeared into a world of their own for a few months. Then when Chris started coming by and texting her again, asking if she and Andrew wanted to hang out with them, she always came up with excuses until he had finally given up. She was hoping he wouldn’t. But Chris was never one to push. That was more her job. And when he got the message that she was avoiding him, he probably just accepted it.
They’d see each other once in a while at parties or even in school, and their conversations would be very superficial. It hurt her every time it happened. That was when she’d escape to her room, lock the door, and write tons of entries in her journal trying to make sense of it all. Trying to remind herself why she was doing it in the first place: so that he would finally be happy. She remembered the look on his face when she had accidentally discovered his feelings for her—his anguish, his fear, and even worse, her anger and the awful words she could never take back. They never talked about it afterward, the way they usually did after they fought. They just pretended it didn’t happen. And the emotional distance made it easy enough. But each time Katie saw him or even heard his name, her entire body would ache. With regret, sadness, loneliness. So when Chris told her he was going abroad for two years, Katie was surprised that she felt her heart breaking once more. She thought she would be fine with it, that she would in fact welcome it because his physical absence would make it easier to finally let him go. But she wasn’t fine. She hadn’t been for the past year. And seeing him tonight just threw everything back into one big sticky mess.
Suddenly, her clutch started vibrating. She took her phone out to read the message that had come in.
I wish I could be there. Missing you. Give my best to Tasha and Tom.
It was Andrew. She smiled through her tears. Andrew who had no clue what she was going through. Andrew who loved her so much that it hurt to think she was beginning to feel differently. Or maybe had been feeling differently for quite some time now, but was too busy to pay it any attention. She messaged him back.
I will. Miss you too. Get some rest when you can, Doc.
Katie took a deep breath, touched up her makeup, and stepped out of the stall. She had to see Chris sooner or later. Even if she had no idea how she felt about him anymore. But then again, what did she expect? It wasn’t as if he was still her best friend. Feeling like she had lost something (her mind, maybe?), she swiped on some lipstick and decided it was time to face the music. No matter what song was playing.
MEGAN, IN HER floor-length crimson gown that bared her pale shoulders, was waiting for her outside the ladies’ room. Unable to contain herself, she crossed her arms and gave Katie a raised eyebrow. “Thanks for bursting into tears and abandoning me like that!”
Katie laughed. Megan always made her laugh, but she had never been a good substitute for Chris. Katie could never really pour out her heart to Megan. She’d tried, lots of times, but Megan would always listen and quickly try to think of ways to fix things. Katie figured she was more of a guy that way. Chris, on the other hand, knew when Katie just needed someone to cry to. He also never gave her solutions because he knew she liked to come up with them herself. Trying to shake those memories from her mind, Katie rolled her eyes and said, “Sorry, Meg. I had to get out of there. Started thinking about Andrew.”
Megan’s expression softened and she put her arm around Katie’s shoulders. “Well, we can fix that by grabbing a few drinks. I hear the bartenders make a mean frozen margarita.”
Back at their table, with six glasses between the two of them, Katie and Megan decided they were going to get drunk. When had they ever really let themselves go? Maybe when they had their hearts broken, but otherwise, they were very proper, levelheaded girls who never really wanted to lose control. “Are those all yours?” Their friend Inca, in a sea green dress that draped like a second skin on her curvy frame, popped up at their table, her date in tow. “Can Fred and I have some?” She yanked him down so the four of them could toast to the happy couple that was still on the dance floor.
“You’d think they would come over and talk to their guests,” Megan grumbled, downing her second glass.
Inca leaned closer and nudged Katie. “Did you see Chris? He’s looking even hotter than ever, if that’s possible.”
Katie snuck a glance at Fred, hoping he hadn’t heard that. “Makes you wish you guys actually had something in high school?” she teased, referring to the time Inca and Chris had almost dated while stuck together in summer class. If it weren’t for Katie looking out for their friendship (a.k.a. warning Chris not to break Inca’s heart), disaster may have ensued.
“No way. Besides, maybe now we can pick up where we left off. I hear he and Celine aren’t exactly on speaking terms.” Inca giggled. Katie shook her head, feeling sorry for poor Fred who looked besotted with her friend.
Then she saw Chris approaching her. She agreed with Inca that he looked great in his dark suit. His usually messy hair was cut short and he no longer looked like the little boy she had always seen him as. In fact, she wasn’t so sure who he was anymore. He broke into a grin when he saw her watching him and she grinned back. Yes, she had missed him. No matter what had happened before. And if he was going back to Australia soon, then they could pretend to be friends again for just one night, right?
She patted the seat next to her and told him to sit down. To hell with Inca—she already had a date. Katie, on the other hand, didn’t. And Andrew never seemed to mind when she and Chris went out alone before. Of course, that was a long time ago. When feelings hadn’t gotten in the way, changing everything.
After Inca had introduced him to Fred, Chris sat down and looked around the table. “Is this all we’re drinking, guys? Come on.”
“Of course not!” Katie said with determination. She knew that Tasha and Tom had ordered several bottles of tequila and she also knew exactly where they were. She jumped up and made her way to the back of the ballroom where some of the supplies were stored. She spotted one of her officemates there doing a quick inventory check. “Hey, Carla, can I have two bottles of tequila? Are we allowed to bring them out already?”
Carla slapped her palm to her forehead. “The tequila! I almost forgot about that! It’s a good thing you reminded me! Tasha will be so angry. Yes please get them. I’ll take the other bottles out to the other tables too.”
Katie smiled. Carla was always forgetting things. Maybe that’s why her bosses assigned her to inventory and didn’t require her to face the guests or the bride and groom’s family. Katie loved her, though. Carla was sweet and tried her best�
��even if she usually came up short. “Thanks, Carla!” She grabbed two bottles and stepped out of the supply room. Outside waiting for her was Chris.
Blinking, Katie took a step back. Not knowing what to say, she blurted out, “I can carry these, you know.”
Chris laughed easily and took them from her. “Not after what I saw earlier. You couldn’t even walk in those heels properly.” When they stepped back into the ballroom, he asked, “Where’s Andrew?”
“He couldn’t get out of school,” Katie answered simply, trying not to let any emotions escape. Chris didn’t have to know what she was going through.
He gave her a sidelong glance and said, “Let’s give these to the guys and take a walk. We haven’t talked in ages.”
“Years,” Katie said, without thinking.
He gave her a funny look then nodded. “Yeah.”
Katie felt her face heat up. She hadn’t wanted that word to escape her lips. What was she thinking? Apparently, she wasn’t. Grabbing one of the bottles, she said, “We can keep this. Let them have the other one. I don’t think Meg’s system can handle any more tequila.”
Chris grinned. “Good call.”
WITH TWO SHOT glasses and their bottle of tequila, Chris and Katie went up to the roof deck of the hotel. It was dressed up in more fairy lights and white lanterns because Tasha and Tom had taken photos there before they had joined their guests for dinner. It was Katie’s idea to have the sunset as their background as they posed for the photos with their family and the rest of the entourage, and the photos had turned out awesome.
Only A Kiss Page 8
