by Amber Heart
When I said nothing, Clara gingerly opened the door. I saw Cole on the other side, smiling charmingly at my sister as he stood before her, still in the very same clothes that he had stripped off himself in the afternoon.
“Cole Emery,” Clara said, starry-eyed.
“Indeed I am,” he said and then his gaze flickered. He looked past Clara and to me standing several feet away in the back. It all felt like a dream to me. It couldn’t be real.
“I’m Clara. Nina’s sister. I work for Lancer & McMillan & Associates,” Clara held out her hand to him, sounding business-like and professional. Was she networking in the middle of all this?
“Nice to meet you, Clara. I’ve heard good things about your firm,” Cole said and I watched as they shook hands. Clara was blushing, and she opened her mouth to speak again but Cole was looking past her, at me now.
“Nina…” he said my name, without taking a step into my apartment.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him, my voice turning sour. I had been good. I was trying to get over him. I had successfully stopped thinking about how handsome he was. How warm his hands were. How badly I wished that we had met under different circumstances.
“I came to talk to you, but I can see that you’re busy,” he said and I clenched my jaw.
“We can talk now, Clara was just leaving,” I said, making my voice hard. All my self resolve was beginning to dissolve. His physical presence was having its effect on me again.
“No, you’ve been drinking. We can’t talk now. I want us to have a sober discussion,” he said and then without waiting for a response from me, he looked at Clara and gave her his widest, most charming smile.
“Have a good night, ladies,” he said and turned and walked away.
Clara stared after him, with the door still open. I could do nothing other than take a large gulp of my gin and tonic.
“There you go. That’s the man I married,” I said and emptied the remaining drink straight into my throat.
Chapter 13
Nina
Against my sister’s warnings, I still went to Cole’s office the next day. I stormed past Maria at the reception desk, and past some of the other suited men in the lobby.
“Miss Philips!” Maria ran after me as the elevator doors pinged shut. I was suddenly filled with rage this morning, fueled by the alcohol from the previous night. Cole had given no explanation. Of what he was doing at my apartment. What he wanted to talk about or how he had even found my address! I didn’t want to acknowledge that little voice inside my head that told me I was enraged because he had dismissed me so quickly. Made me feel so small for being drunk. I wanted to see him, and it was shadowed by the anger I felt towards him.
I walked out of the elevator and straight to the double doors of his office now. I burst in without knocking, only realizing seconds later that he might be in there with someone else. In the middle of an important business meeting perhaps.
“Nina!” Cole looked up at from behind his desk. The woman sitting across from him, whipped around in her chair as well to stare at me.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…” my voice trailed. The phone on his desk rang and Cole pressed the button.
“Sir, Miss Philips…she walked straight up. I tried to stop her…” Maria’s voice again.
“Thanks, Maria. She’s here now. It’s fine,” Cole said and cut the call.
It was only now that recognition filled me. I had seen this woman before. She was sitting on the lush leather chair that I was sitting on, just the previous day. Naked, with my legs spread apart for Cole.
This woman was in a tight black body con dress, with the reddest lips and her blue eyes looking winsome and brilliant. She was the woman whose wedding I had met Cole at. She was his ex.
“I’ll come back later,” I said, feeling flush. The color had risen to my cheeks. I was choking on my words.
“No, stay. Come in,” Cole said, standing up from his chair. The woman snapped her head to look at him, and then she looked back at me again. I couldn’t remember her name.
“You two have met previously. Rosalie, this is Nina. Nina Philips,” Cole introduced us, as he buttoned up his jacket. He looked commanding and handsome in his navy suit. His hair fashionably swept back as always, just one dark strand resting on his forehead. Rosalie looked confused, as I walked towards her. With whatever dignity I had left in me.
“We met at your wedding. I was singing in the band,” I said, and stuck out my hand to her. I remembered her looking beautiful and resplendent in her wedding dress. I still remembered how jealous I was of her, of how perfect her wedding was. What was she doing alone in Cole’s office? He had mentioned that she still wasn’t over him. Had I interrupted a very private conversation?
Rosalie’s eyes expanded as she drank me in. I could see that she was studying me. With the same surprised gaze that Maria had looked at me with. It was almost as though she couldn’t understand why Cole knew a woman like me. A girl in distressed jeans and a year old floral blouse, with barely any makeup on.
“And how do you two know each other?” she asked, ignoring my extended hand and turning to Cole again. He gazed at her, and then turned to me again. A smile formed on his face. My heart was thudding against my chest. I could barely breathe. I had no idea what he was going to say.
“She’s my wife,” he said bluntly and then walked around his desk towards me. I knew I was shaking in my shoes. I was confused and distressed and at a total loss for words. Rosalie stood up from her chair with a jerk. Her cheeks had gotten red and her blue eyes were suddenly filled with hate.
“Are you kidding me, Cole? Who is this woman?” she shrieked, just as Cole came over and placed a hand on my waist. I couldn’t look at him, and neither could I look at Rosalie.
“I just told you. She’s Nina and she’s my wife,” I heard him say. The touch of his hand on my waist was enough to destabilize me. I felt like I was going to crumble into a big heap on the floor any moment.
“Your wife! You got married?” Rosalie was still shrieking. Her face had gone red.
“Yes, Rosalie, not all of us need to put on a big show for our wedding. We got married in secret and now if you’ll excuse me; I would like to have a few private minutes with my wife before I have to head over to my next meeting,” I heard him say and then sensed him looking down at me. I turned my face up towards him, catching his eye. Even though he knew just how much in shock I was, he only smiled kindly. Anyone would have thought that this was all real.
“This is insane. You are insane, Cole!” Rosalie snapped and he turned to her again.
“Don’t you have a honeymoon to go to with my cousin? Your loving husband,” he said, keeping that smile intact on his face.
Rosalie was still shaking with anger, and her nostrils were flared. I could see she was in shock and in complete disbelief.
“We need to talk about this at some point, Cole,” she said.
“I have nothing more to say to you. Please leave, Rosalie,” he said, with his hand still on my waist, holding me close to his body.
Chapter 14
Nina
Rosalie left immediately after that and the moment the door shut behind her, I pulled away from Cole.
“What the Hell just happened, Cole? What are you doing?” I said through gritted teeth. When I stepped away from him, he held up his hands defensively and shook his head.
“I know. Let me explain,” he said and walked back to his desk. I was glaring at him, the back of my neck was burning up in fury.
“You just used me to make your ex girlfriend jealous!” I snapped and Cole sat down with a thump on his chair. He continued shaking his head, like he was confused himself.
“Now I know why you were lecturing me about marriage. You want her. You want Rosalie!” I continued, and stepped away from him. I had no idea why my lips were quivering or why my eyes had filled with tears. I had nothing to do with Cole. Why was I jealous of his feelings for Rosalie?
“I’m talking about what you just did, and why you did it. For you, her marriage means nothing. It’s just a piece of paper. It means nothing to either of you. She married your cousin to make you jealous and it worked. You married the first girl you saw, as a retaliation,” I was yelling now, while Cole sat there staring at me with his wide eyes. He said nothing, only fueling me further.
“This was all a lie. I should have known that a man like you wouldn’t just make a silly drunken mistake. It was carefully calculated. You got me drunk, seduced me and then married me in a shotgun wedding…for what? All for bragging rights! Just so that you could tell Rosalie that you are married too. To make her jealous the same way she made you jealous by marrying your cousin!” I thundered. I couldn’t control my words any more. Everything had started to make sense and none of it was in my favor. I had never felt more humiliated or hurt in my life.
“If you’ll just calm down and listen to me, I can explain,” he finally said. I couldn’t understand how he could be so calm in the middle of this. But then again, none of it made any difference to his life. A marriage meant nothing to him.
“I don’t need to be calm, Cole. I now know exactly what you’re doing. You have ruined my dreams and hopes, just for bragging rights. Just so you could make an ex girlfriend jealous. You didn’t even stop to think what effect your actions could have on someone else’s life,” I was chocking up now. All the tears I had been holding in for so long were coming gushing out. Cole was looking at me with his face darkened, his eyes small and his jaw firmly set in a straight line. He said nothing.
“You used me. You made me believe that it was all just a silly drunken mistake, when you acted completely out of selfish reasons. You knew exactly what you were doing. That’s the reason you haven’t contacted your lawyers yet. You wanted to tell Rosalie first. Have you shown her the certificate yet? Did you wave it in front of her face to make her green with envy?” I didn’t even know if I was making any sense any more.
Cole had his head hung down, he wasn’t looking at me. I could see that he was finally ashamed…or at least affected by my words. I didn’t feel victorious though. I only felt sick to my stomach. Sick and silly for having fallen for this. For actually harboring hopes that the two times we had slept together at least, meant something. That at the very least, Cole Emery was attracted to me. When the truth was, that I was just another girl. Any girl could have taken my place. I just happened to be there at the right time, unknown and non-rich enough to simply slip under the radar unnoticed. A shotgun wedding with me would attract no media attention, the way it would if he tried the same thing with one of his usual famous women.
“You are a lying, scheming, arrogant man and you deserve the heartbreak you’re feeling over Rosalie. I’m glad she’s married someone else and one day you will realize how important a marriage is. What it represents. And till you do, you can continue playing around,” I said and turned to walk away from him. Cole still hadn’t said anything. He was simply sitting at his desk, and hadn’t even tried to stop me.
“You can expect to hear from my lawyers. I want this marriage annulled and over. I don’t ever want to see you again. You disgust me,” I said, before leaving his office.
When I banged the door shut behind me, the tears came gushing out. It was like a torrential rain of tears. I had been fooled, and made an idiot of. I had been stupid enough to think that it was a joint silly decision, when I had simply been played. This wasn’t my story. I was just a chapter in someone else’s romance. Years from now, I could imagine Cole and Rosalie laughing about me…and the lengths to which Cole had to go to get her back.
My ego had never been this bruised before. I should have known from the start, Clara was right, Cole would never have done something this foolish for no reason at all.
I walked into the elevator, wiped the tears that streaked my cheeks and then walked past a fuming Maria in the lobby.
“I’m sorry. Won’t ever happen again,” I said to her curtly as I left the building. I only looked back once when I was in the parking lot, and when I looked up I saw Cole at his office window, five floors above, looking down at me. I snapped my face away from him. It was over now. I could finally move on. There was no hope left.
Chapter 15
Nina
I had lost all track of time. Since I returned from Cole’s office, I had been sitting on my couch, playing my guitar and not able to sing a single word. I was all chocked up, my lips felt dry and I couldn’t remember a single song to sing.
Even when I woke up that morning, I was foolish enough to cling to some hope. I was hoping that Cole had come to my apartment the previous night to apologize. To tell me how sorry he was. That it was a silly mistake, but one he made because he was attracted to me.
I was under the delusion that the sham marriage had happened in the first place, because he found me irresistible. But what was I thinking? I should have known that I wouldn’t ever be in his radar. The only reason he had even approached me at the wedding, was because I wasn’t a celebrity and I was a girl. There was no other reason.
That night when we had sex in the hotel room, he did it because he could, because he was in the process of hatching his plan. I slept with him because I was floored by him. Because I couldn’t believe my luck. That a man like him would even look at me. Would even find me attractive enough to ask me to spend the night with him.
I strummed my guitar tunelessly. I’d already backed out of the performance scheduled for that evening, and I was aware of how much trouble I had caused the band. They would have been running around like headless chickens, looking for a singer to replace me for the event. But I didn’t have the energy in me to feel guilty about it. I was feeling sick. I was feeling foolish and also foolish enough to feel heartbroken.
It had meant nothing to Cole. The first time we had sex, the second time, the shotgun wedding. None of it. He was jealous that night at the wedding. Rosalie’s trick to make him envious had worked, and feeling desperate, he had scanned the crowd till his gaze fell on me. He picked me out. Seduced me. Got me drunk and then married me. Since marriage meant nothing to him, this wasn’t a big deal to him. It was all just a big joke.
For me on the other hand, I had grown up believing in love. Our parents had been married for thirty-two years. I still saw it in their faces. How much in love they were, how devoted they were to each other. For me and Clara, no relationship could hold a candle to the marriage that my parents had. I believed strongly in finding true love, in finding a life long partner. Every guy I had dated, every guy I slept with…had only been stepping stones in finding the right one. The one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was so stubborn in my belief in true love, that none of those breakups affected me. I had never felt heartbroken before. I was just satisfied in the knowledge that I would find him some day. The right one.
And now, that hope of finding someone, of being married to the perfect man was completely smashed. In a way, Cole was right, of course. This marriage was just a piece of paper. But to me, I couldn’t believe that I was already married to a man I barely knew. To a man who had duped me into marrying him. After all these years of dreaming and hoping and yearning, it was heartbreaking to be so rudely crashed back into reality. Nobody had told me that I was just a foolish girl dreaming big. My parents just got lucky. That luck didn’t automatically transfer to me.
I strummed my guitar again, wondering when I could possibly feel better about this again. How long it would take for me to forget Cole.
That evening was magical. He had swept me off my feet, and even though I woke up the next day knowing that it had been just a one night stand, I knew that I had finally met someone who could possibly be the right man. I still had some hope then. Not any more though. Now it meant nothing.
I placed the guitar on the floor and stood up from the couch. I was tire
d of sitting. Tired of thinking and doing nothing. The sooner I could get Cole out of my life, legally, the easier it would be for me to move on. Maybe, like Clara said, in a few months I would realize that I was just making a mountain out of a mole hill. Maybe in a few years I would meet a man like Cole again. Someone who was the real deal. And until then, I would just have to keep going on. Keep believing that it would happen for me.
I dialed Clara’s number in a hurry, and the phone rang twice before she answered it. These days my sister always had time for me. I could tell that she was worried.
“Nina? Everything okay?” she asked. I sucked in a lung-full of air and sighed.
“I think mom and dad ruined life for us,” I said bitterly. I could sense that Clara was thinking of what to say. I knew she didn’t approve. We had never spoken about our parents like this before.
“Nina…don’t blame them for this. They’ve only taught us what they knew best. It’s our fault for trusting people so easily,” she said and I shook my head and closed my eyes.
“Do you know any good lawyers?” I asked. There was no point discussing this any more. It was time to man up.
Nina
2 weeks later
The annulment was surprisingly easy to acquire. The lawyer who Clara recommended got it done within a few days, and the signed papers arrived in my mail. I was still in my pajamas when I went downstairs to my mailbox and retrieved it along with other junk mail. I ran upstairs with it, banging the door shut behind me and tearing the envelope open.
He had signed it. I stared at his signature at the bottom of the page, next to mine. Cole Emery. We hadn’t even spoken over the phone in the past two weeks. I hadn’t heard from him or seen him since the incident in his office. I was glad for it, because seeing him again would only have opened up new wounds.
