by Amber Heart
I sat down on the floor, holding up the paper. I read it, read it again and kept reading it, till all the words were stuck in my throat and I could repeat them without having to look at the sheet of paper. Marriage between Cole Emery and Nina Philips has been legally annulled. It was finally over. I wasn’t married to him any more.
I should have been feeling elated. I could put it all behind me and move on, but I wasn’t feeling any of those things. I was only feeling empty when I should have been rejoicing. That marriage had meant nothing. It was a sham and a trick. I was only a pawn in a game that Cole was playing with his ex girlfriend. He had used me. Despite all that, I still couldn’t get over him. How he had made me feel. How awkward and weak I got, how my knees turned to jelly the moment I saw him. Cole Emery was an arrogant, selfish man and yet I had fallen for him.
After I had spent at least an hour staring at the sheet of paper, I stood back up and shook myself. I felt like a completely new person. I tried to distract myself by practicing the sets I needed to sing for that night’s event, but I knew I was still thinking about him. I couldn’t sing a song without imagining Cole in his suit at the wedding, sipping his whiskey, his gray eyes twinkling at me.
The day went by in a blur. I had no sense of time, till my phone rang and my band-mate, Jake, called to remind me to get ready for the event. I had missed too many events these last couple of weeks and he had got into the habit of reminding me every day of our schedule.
“I’ll be there, Jake. See you,” I said kindly into the phone and hung up. I wished I could tell him that it was over now. That he could expect me to be back to normal. I wanted so badly to be normal again. Get back the life I had before that fateful night when I met Cole Emery.
I spent more time than usual getting ready for that evening. We were hired to sing at a fund raising ball. It was supposed to be a glamorous event, in attendance by corporate biggies and celebrities. Jake had insisted that we were very lucky to be hired for the event and that we should dress appropriately. The songs we had decided on for the evening were beautiful ballads and old hits. Songs that would appeal to a distinguished crowd like the one attending tonight.
I picked out my most prized possession for the evening. A luxurious blue velvet dress, that fell in scrumptious folds down my waist. It had a long slit that reached the middle of my thigh and revealed my legs. Clara had gifted it to me two years ago, when I booked my first real gig and since then, I’d only worn the dress once. I decided on this dress for the evening because I wanted to feel special and beautiful tonight. I felt like I deserved it.
I spent time on my hair and makeup, going for a glamorous retro look. I straightened and smoothened my hair, tying my shining golden hair in a tight bun at the side of my head. I chose a rich blood-red color for my lips and a shadowy smoky look for my eyes.
Other than a pair of chunky white-gemstone earrings, I had no other glamorous enough jewelry to don for the night. My shoes were blue, and tall stilettos to match the dress. A little discomfort was worth it to complete the look, I figured.
By seven, I was ready to leave and I ordered a taxi that would take me to the exclusive venue where the event was supposed to be held. As I rode in the taxi, I thought about Cole again. My dress, the jewelry, the makeup…those were all failed attempts at getting my spirit up again. None of it had worked. I still felt like a used woman. A nobody. A plaything in the lives of rich people.
There was a red carpet welcome and paparazzi at the entrance to the club when I got off the taxi. I blushed and ran in to find Jake and the band, but I was aware of the photographs that were already snapped of me. I should have felt special with all this, in the spotlight and adored. I knew I looked the part, but I felt lonely instead.
When I entered the venue, I glanced around the crowd. There were people there already, mingling, drinking and talking. People in beautiful clothes, expensive jewelry and looking like the stars that they were. I was very quickly reminded of Rosalie’s wedding, and how I had felt that night. How jealous I was of the wedding. How small and insignificant I had felt then, even though I was on a stage and in the spotlight. I felt like that again now, and suddenly, I felt ridiculous for spending that much time on my clothes and my look for the evening. I would never be able to match up to these standards, no matter how hard I tried.
Chapter 16
Nina
“Though I know you’re the kind of boy, who only wants to run around, I’ll keep waiting, and, someday darling you’ll come to me when you want to settle down, Oh! One fine day, You’re gonna want me for your girl…” I had my eyes closed as I sang the song. We did the Natalie Merchant version of the song because of how soft and slow it sounded. Perfect for dancing and swaying gently to the lyrics.
A couple of hours’ singing was complete, and in front of the stage, when I opened my eyes, I saw several couples already on the dance floor. They were dancing to the song, in each others arms, with their foreheads knocked together, smiling and looking into each others eyes as my voice filled the room.
As I ended the song, I realized that I had goosebumps on my arms and at the back of my neck. I couldn’t sing this song anymore, without thinking about Cole and how foolish I’d been.
I placed the mic back into the stand and stepped away from it, taking in a deep breath as the lights in the club were brightened again. The night was dwindling to a close. Our sets were over, and it was time for me to make use of the open bar again. I couldn’t get through a night of singing these days without having a few drinks. That was the only way I could sleep anymore.
“Hey, Nina. Mr Emery wants to congratulate you personally,” I heard Jake say behind me, while he was bent towards the floor, packing up his guitar and things.
“What?” I whipped around to look at him, convinced that I’d heard him wrong.
“What?” Jake asked, looking up at me with his brows crossed and confused.
“You said someone wants to congratulate me?” I asked him, holding my hand to my heart. I was afraid now that I was going crazy. That I was hearing things.
“Yeah. Mr Emery. The guy who booked us for the event,” he said, straightening up. My mouth fell open and my nostrils were flared in fright.
“Cole Emery? He booked us?” I was speaking in a shaky voice and I could see that Jake looked even more concerned and confused now. There was no appropriate explanation for my reaction.
“Yeah. Didn’t I tell you? He reached out to me and booked us for the night. He’d apparently seen us perform somewhere else, and while he was organizing this event he thought of us. Very decent of him actually, wouldn’t you say?” I could hear Jake’s words but they weren’t registering in my mind anymore. Why would Cole do this? On the evening of the finalization of the annulment? What game was he playing now?
“Shouldn’t you go and talk to him, Nina?” Jake was saying and when he touched my shoulder, he snapped me out of my thoughts rudely.
“Yeah, of course. I’ll talk to him. I’ll go find him now,” I said, faking a nervous smile. Lifting the sides of my flowing gown up with pinched fingers, I rushed off stage, taking two steps at a time as I ran. I didn’t care how ridiculous I looked anymore, I just wanted to get out of there before Cole found me.
I was weaving through the crowds, excusing myself as I charged with heavy breaths towards the exit of the club. I looked nowhere else other than forward, forging ahead to make a quick exit. Cole had tricked me again. How many times was he going to do this? Did he have something to prove? That he could dance me around like a finger-puppet for as long as he wanted? That I was foolish enough to fall for it every time? Would I have to leave Las Vegas now? Is that what it had come to? Was that the only way I could successfully get rid of the man?
I couldn’t even imagine what he wanted from me any more. What more did I have to give to him? I was panicking. I was running like a mad person through the crowd and towards the open doors of the venue. I could feel a film of sweat forming on my forehead. I was anxiou
s and trying to control a heavy beating heart. I wasn’t even thinking straight. All I knew was that I had to get out of there.
One step outside, and the cool night air hit me in the face, quickly drying the perspiration on my forehead. I let out a huge sigh of relief. But that relief wasn’t long lasted. Cameras went wild, the paparazzi was in a frenzy to get photographs of anybody. Even a nobody. And my eyes squinted instinctually against the maddening lights and flashes.
“Behave yourselves!” I heard a loud bellow behind me, as I raised an arm to shield my face against the flashing harsh lights.
“Stop it before I bash your faces in. Get out of here,” it was Cole’s voice behind me and before I could do anything, as immobilized by the frenzy as I was, he had caught me by my arm and whipped me around to him. I buried my face in his chest, my mind swimming in confusion.
“Leave her alone, guys. She’s unwell!” Cole was yelling at the cameras, none of whom had stopped.
“Hey, you okay? Come away, come with me,” his voice had dropped to a soft whisper near my ear and I allowed him to gently lead me away from the clicking cameras. I was disoriented and dizzy, but also starkly aware of Cole’s hand on my back, his beating heart pressed against my cheek. His masculine scent filling my nostrils.
Chapter 17
Nina
“Are you feeling better? Just breathe,” I heard Cole’s deep calming voice in my ear, as he pressed me to himself. My hands were shaking as I held on to his arms. I was still in shock.
“You’re burning up,” he said and something switched on in me, and I lashed out at him with my fists. I pushed against his chest, snapping away from his arms and I stumbled as I stepped back. He had led me to the back of the venue and now he had his back pressed up against a brick wall. Darkness shrouded us. Only a dim streetlight at the end of the parking lot illuminated his face. His gray eyes sparkled in that light, and his brows were crossed.
“Leave me alone! Why are you doing this to me?” I shrieked, unbothered by who could hear us. In the stillness, my voice carried far but I didn’t care.
“You looked like you were going to faint. I had to do something,” he said and I shook my head wildly.
“Why did you book us? You did it on purpose. Why are you doing this?” I cried, clenching my fists. Thankfully, Cole kept his distance. He didn’t make a move towards me.
“I knew it was the only way I could see you again,” he said in a low deep voice, that made me stop for a moment. Just his voice had that affect on me. I could feel my cheeks burning up, my hair coming undone. I glared at him, my eyes adjusting slowly in the dark now.
“Why did you want to see me? You signed the papers. It’s over now,” I screeched and Cole pursed his lips.
“I wanted to see you because it’s over. You can’t blame me for it any more,” he replied and I pressed my mouth close. My breasts heaving with the heavy breaths I was taking. Cole looked unimaginably handsome in his tuxedo. His muscles rippling under the smooth cuts of his tailored clothes. He towered over me, and I knew he could lift me with just one hand and yet he didn’t intimidate me anymore.
“I have no idea what you’re saying,” I said and Cole took in a deep breath.
“Then let me explain it to you. You didn’t let me say a thing the last time we spoke. Will you please just listen?” he said and I gulped. I couldn’t believe how my body was reacting to him. Despite everything that had happened, I couldn’t stop myself from staring at that chiseled jaw, his broad shoulders, his shooting height. I remained silent.
“You were wrong about me and Rosalie, but you were right about a few things. Firstly, the wedding was a drunken mistake. It wasn’t a plan,” he said and I crossed my brows and shook my head. I couldn’t believe he was still denying it. What did he have left to gain from it now?
“Don’t just shake your head and dismiss what I’m saying, Nina. I have no reason to lie to you,” he said in a stern voice and I stopped, glaring at him again.
“When I met you that night at the wedding, I was attracted to you instantly. To your voice, to your singing and then to you. I wanted nothing more than to sleep with you, and after that was over, for the first time in my life, for some strange reason…I was desperate to keep you. I didn’t want you to leave,” he continued and my lips quivered. I didn’t want to believe what he was saying. I was resisting every temptation in my bones to just fling my arms around his neck and press my lips to his.
“And then we got very drunk. And I wasn’t lying, you were the one who suggested we get married. We had a connection and I felt it, even through my drunken haze. Of course it was a mistake, and it was a spur of the moment unwise decision…but I wasn’t trying to trick you,” he said. I couldn’t control myself anymore, I had to say something.
“But Rosalie…I heard you. You told me she was trying to make you jealous,” I said, in a much softer voice now.
“Yes, she was and she still is. And the only reason I told her about us, was to get rid of her. Not to make her jealous. I hoped that if she saw us together. If she thought we were actually married, then she’d leave me alone. I have no interest in making her jealous. I’m not even remotely attracted to her anymore,” he replied and I shook my head again.
“I don’t believe you,” I said and finally, he took a step towards me.
“I have no reason to lie to you. This is why I wanted to wait to speak to you, till after the annulment was done. I hoped that you would see that I have nothing to gain from you,” he said and he slid one hand out of the pocket of his pants and held it towards me. I stared at his hand, at his invitation and controlled my urges.
“I don’t believe that you see something special in me,” I blurted out and a soft smile started forming on Cole’s face.
“There isn’t anything special about me either. Other than my money. Or that was what I thought till I met you. You spent that night with me just because there was an attraction there. Not because you knew who I was or how much money I had. To you, marriage is important. A relationship means something very different,” he continued and I remained silent. His hand was still stretched out towards me. His eyes were kind, his lips were stretched in an encouraging smile.
“Nina, I’m not trying to trick you. I don’t know how else to make you see that I’m being truthful. Just give me a chance to prove myself to you,” he said and I felt my hands shake. Everything that I had hoped and dreamed of, Cole was making it come true but I didn’t know if I could trust him again. I had fallen for his charms once and look where it had got me!
“But our views on marriage, and relationships are very different. And I can’t be in a casual sexual relationship with you anymore. Not with anyone. Our shotgun wedding made me see things more clearly,” I told him and silently, Cole nodded his head.
“Yes, our views are different…were different. And I apologize for being so harsh about it. I have always been cynical about things like this. Marriage in my circle of friends and family has meant nothing. I never thought it was necessary or important,” he said and took another step towards me.
“So, what are you saying?” I asked him, looking up at his face. Our eyes were locked, our mouths only inches away from each other now.
“I’m saying that for the first time in my life, I want to give this a shot. With you. I want to try and have a meaningful relationship. I haven’t felt this connection with anyone before and I want to explore it. I don’t want to think lightly of love or marriage,” he said and his breath fell strongly on my face. I was in a dream again, none of this was real. It couldn’t be.
“I don’t know if I can trust you. I don’t know if I can believe all these things you’re saying,” I said, my voice shuddering with every word. I could feel my brain imploding silently.
“Let me prove myself to you then, Nina. Let me show you how badly I want you,” he said and I licked my lips.
Cole took that as his cue and bent his face towards me. He gave me a moment to pull away, but I didn’t. I
couldn’t. And then his lips met mine. He drowned my moan with his mouth and used his tongue to part my lips. His tongue was inside my mouth, exploring every crevice, every bend and his hands sought out my neck. I could feel his large, warm hands around my throat, gently holding me in place as we explored each others mouths.
I bunched up the front of his shirt, tugging him closer to me. We were breathless. We were going wild with passion for each other. No matter what I had convinced myself of these past few weeks, my desire for Cole had gone nowhere. He was still the only man I wanted inside me.
“I want to make love to you tonight, Nina. I want to possess you as rightfully mine,” he growled into my ear when he pulled away from me. And who was I to deny a man that?
Chapter 18
Nina
Cole’s house was opulent to say the least. We left the party in his chauffeur driven Limousine and the car had barely even stopped, before Cole jumped out, and ran around to hold the door open for me. His home was a beautiful old townhouse with sprawling grounds in every direction. Palm trees flanked the entrance and a uniformed housekeeper greeted us with fresh lavender scented towels on a silver tray at the door.
“Thank you Jonathan, that is all for the night. You can retire. We’ll find our way around,” Cole told the housekeeper, who bowed deeply, making me smirk and try to hold in my giggles.
“He only fusses over me if I don’t dismiss him for the night,” Cole turned to me and I took his arm as I looked around the decadent marble foyer. Beautiful crystal chandeliers hung from the ceilings, rich carpets covered every floor and extravagant modern art hung from the walls. Cole had me on his arm as he showed me around his house, or at least some of it.
That first night I spent with him, before I knew who he really was, I wouldn’t have suspected for even a moment that he lived in a palace like this.
