My Journey (Amy's Way) Book 1

by Christin Thomas

  “Amy, I’m really sorry I had to run out this morning. The last thing I wanted to do was leave you here to wake up alone.” Kyle started to unpack and put up his groceries. “It’s okay. I was able to fine what I needed. Thank you for the toothbrush. I thought I would have to do it the old fashion way with my finger.” We both laughed and Kyle started to fix himself a bagel with jam and bananas. I watched him for a little while wondering where he had to go. I know it’s none of my business but something inside of me had to know. Kyle looks up at me “What are you thinking about? I see you are trying to make a decision. You have that thinking smirk on your face.”

  “Oh it’s really nothing. I was just wondering what you had to go do.” I took the last bite of my bagel and walked to the kitchen sink to rinse off my plate. “I had to go see someone and after, I went to the gym to let off some steam. Then I stopped at the corner store for a few things.” I walked back to my seat “Who did you go see?” At this point Kyle was still not looking at me. What is going on and why he’s trying to avoid it?

  After a few long minutes Kyle finally looks up at me. “Right now, it’s not the best time to talk about it.” I searched Kyle’s face and I saw a little anger in his eyes. “Okay, when you’re ready you can tell me.” Kyle reached over and grabbed my hand. “Thank you. I promise to tell you soon. Now let’s get going. Lyn and Ben are waiting for us at the mall.” I stood up “Mall? Why are we going to the mall?” Kyle turned in his chair and smiled at me “Shopping of course. Lyn wants you to look at some dresses.”

  ******

  We got to the bridal shop in the mall and I saw Lyn looking at dresses and Ben siting in an oversized chair. I walked over to hug Lyn “So, when are y’all getting married again?” Lyn turned and hugged me back “We are thinking on a winter wedding, sometime in December or January.” I laughed “Sometime in December or January. No set date?” Lyn looked at Ben, who gave her a blank stare and then she looked back at me. “We haven’t agreed on a date just yet. We just know that we want a winter wedding and I’m not waiting a whole year for my own wedding.”

  Ben stood up “Well, Kyle and I are going to go walk around. We’ll be back in about an hour.” Ben walked over to Lyn and kissed her on the cheek. “Love you baby.” Lyn turned and smiled at him “Love you too.” Both Kyle and Ben walked out and Lyn turned back to the dresses. “God, I hate when he is being stand-offish.”

  “And why would he be acting like that Lyn? Is there something you two are waiting on?” Lyn turned to me and her cheeks started to turn red. “It’s nothing. He’s like any other guy out there. They all hate shopping, no matter what kind it is.” I laughed at her “That’s not all of it. What else is going on?” Lyn gave me a straight forward look and her lips turned into a straight line. She didn’t say anything but her eyes were doing all of the talking. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me what it is. It’s your issue, not mine.”

  We didn’t talk much after that. Just a few, ‘do you like this dress?’, ‘do you like these colors?’, ‘what about these shoes?’ The guys came back about two hours later with Starbucks coffee. Lyn decided that she was going to come back another day with just me and her mother. This was completely fine with me. I really didn’t want to be around Lyn when she was in a ‘don’t bother me’ mood.

  When we were walking out of the mall, we all decide to go to Olive Garden for lunch. We got there at the same time and were seated within minutes of arriving. We all ordered our drinks, endless salad, and endless bread sticks. It was mostly Kyle and Ben talking. I could tell that something was eating at Lyn and she so badly wanted to say something. Our salad and bread sticks came and we all ordered our food. I looked at Lyn and said “Lyn, how about you come with me to the bathroom.” I felt Kyle and Ben’s eyes on me. All of my focus was completely on Lyn. Lyn stood “Okay fine. I have to go also.”

  Once we entered the bathroom, I grabbed Lyn’s wrist and drug her to the biggest stall. “What is going on? I can tell you want to say something and you’re in a bad mood.” Lyn sighs and tears started to form in her eyes. “Amy, I don’t know what to do. Ben and I are happy. So happy, that he asked me to marry him.” I looked at her a little confused “And what is the problem?” Lyn wiped away a tear “I’m pregnant Amy, and I don’t know what to do. I know I want kids but not now, it’s way too soon for that.”

  I smiled as big as I could and hugged her “Oh Lyn, this is wonderful. You shouldn’t be scared at all. And who cares if it’s before the wedding? You can have the wedding before or after the baby is born. Does Ben know? What did he say?”

  At this point Lyn was sobbing “I just found out I was pregnant a few days ago and I haven’t told him yet. I’m so scared to tell him Amy. What if he leaves me? What if he doesn’t want kids?”

  “Oh Lyn, everything will be fine. You have to tell him. He will be happy because he loves you.”

  We both exited out of the bathroom stall and Lyn cleaned up her tears. We both went back to the table and I could tell that Lyn’s mood has changed. There’s my confident and happy cousin.

  Lyn cleared her throat and started to speak “There’s something I want to say.” She paused for a few minutes and I looked at Kyle and smiled. He mouthed ‘what’s going on’ and I shook my head softly at him. “Ben, I’m pregnant. We’re going to be parents.” Lyn’s smile was ear to ear and I looked over at Ben to see his lips curling up into a smile. “Oh baby, that’s….that’s….WOW! I’m going to be a dad.” Ben pulled Lyn into a hug and kissed her. “So this is why you have been off lately.” Lyn shook her head yes. “Well then, we have a date we need to set. Kyle and Amy, Lyn and I need you all to be free for the month of January.”

  We all chatted with each other and then Lyn and I chatted about baby names, while Ben and Kyle talked about sports. Every once in a while I would see Kyle smiling at me. When our eyes met I could see the desire and love he has for me. We all finished our lunch and left. We all made plans to meet up at my aunt and uncle’s for dinner to share the news with them.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Kyle and I made it to my aunt and uncle’s a little after Lyn and Ben did. When we walked into the house I saw my Aunt Tammy giving Lyn a big hug and my Uncle Chris shaking Ben’s hand. “See Lyn, I told you everything will be fine.” My aunt looks at me then back at Lyn. “Amy knows already? Oh that’s wonderful.” My aunt walks off “Everyone, come into the kitchen. Chris and I have been cooking all day.” We all followed my aunt and sat at the table while she and my uncle brought the food to the table. We were all chatting about the wedding and baby. Everyone was beaming with happiness and I kept thinking about David. This could have been us.

  Lyn noticed the look on my face “Amy, what’s wrong?” I looked up from my plate to see everyone looking at me with concern. “I’m fine really. Excuse me. I think I need to get some air.” I got up from my chair and walked out the back door. I saw the old barn and made my way toward it. I know there’s nothing in there except for the horse’s hay but it’s better than being inside. I sat on one of the hay bales thinking about everything that has happened in the past few days. Everything started to hit me all at once.

  David got another woman pregnant and I’m getting a divorce. Lyn is getting married and their having a baby. Then there’s Kyle. Why did I have to sleep with him? It was so stupid. I’m so stupid. What was I thinking? I wasn’t ready to be with someone else. Shit, I don’t even know what to do.

  I heard footsteps walking toward me and I quickly wiped my tears away. I turned around to see Kyle leaning against the barn door. Kyle stood up straight and started walking toward me “Upset?” I took a deep breath and shook my head no. “Amy, you are crying. I know something is wrong. Please talk to me.”

  I sat back on the hay bale and threw my hands up “Fine, it’s no secret that I’m getting a divorce. It’s no secret that David cheated on me.” I took another deep breath “Then Lyn surprises me by telling me she is getting married, and now. ...Now she and Ben are having a baby. I’m
happy for them, I’m really am. But Kyle, it’s just so overwhelming.” I paused a few seconds before continuing “Then there’s you, Kyle. I shouldn’t have slept with you. I wasn’t ready to be with someone else. I’m sorry. It was great and I really enjoyed my time with you but I don’t know. I just wasn’t ready.”

  Kyle cupped my face with his hands “I understand Amy and I’m sorry for pushing you. I should have stopped it but it just felt so right to be with you.” I looked into Kyle’s eyes and still saw the want and desire for me. Why does this have to be so hard?

  “No Kyle, I should have stopped it. It’s my fault, not yours. I just don’t know what to do or what to think at the moment.” Kyle moved his hands to my waist and pulled me into a hug. “I completely understand. Everything will get better Amy. I promise.” I sighed and rested my head on his chest. Kyle caressed my hair while I cried into his chest. We held each other for a few minutes that felt like hours.

  Kyle lifted my chin up with his index finger, I looked up at him. He caught my gaze with his. His eyes were so bright and pure as if I could see straight to his soul. I could see a little pain, concern, and love. After all these years, he still has feelings for me. But what about me? Do I love him too? I know I deeply care about him but could I love him like he loves me?

  Kyle looked down at me with a small shy smile on his face. “I’m here for you Amy. Whatever you need, I’m here.” I smiled at him and arched my back to get closer to him. Not too sure what I’m doing. I know I shouldn’t kiss him but I want too. I wanted to feel his warm lisps on my slightly cold lips. I wanted his weight on top of me. I just wanted to feel and in this moment Kyle was something and someone I could feel.

  He took my invitation and leaned in to kiss me. This kiss was different from all of the kisses Kyle and I shared. He was pouring every feeling he has for me into this kiss. The love, the caring, the wishing, the hoping, the want, the need, everything he ever felt for me was in this kiss. I wanted to kiss him the way he was kissing me. I wanted to pour my heart into it but I just couldn’t. I’m not too sure how I feel and I don’t know what to do. I just want to feel something and this something was Kyle.

  I pulled Kyle with me toward the hay bale, still kissing. I laid back and Kyle crawled on top of me. Both of his hands were on the side of my head and he broke away. “Are you sure Amy? I don’t want this to mess up anything we have or might have together.” I took a deep breath and let it out and smiled at him. I rubbed my right hand caressing his face with the back of my fingers. “You said you are here for me. And right now I’m here for you. I want you Kyle, I always have and I always will. I just know that I’m not ready for a relationship.” He nodded yes in understanding and leaned in to kiss me again. My hands slid down his arms to the hem of his shirt. I slowly pulled his shirt off and let it drop out of my hands to the floor. I lifted my back up off the hay bale so Kyle could do the same with my shirt.

  After pulling my shirt off, Kyle reached back to unhook my bra. He cupped both breasts with his hands and pulled my bra off. He leaned on his right side and leaned into my ear while traveling a finger down my chest between both breasts. “You know, I was thinking. Do you remember where we had sex, made love, for first time?” I smiled at Kyle and lifted up on my elbows. I looked around the barn and I caught Kyle’s gaze with mine. His smile was getting bigger with every search of my face. I turned slightly and pointed to the back corner of the barn. “Our first time was in that stall.” I looked back at him “There was a sofa and a few chairs for the workers. We just finish running the horses and you kissed me.” Kyle leaned in to lightly kiss me on my lips and then moved to my neck. “And from that day forward you were mine Amy. No one could have taken you away from me.”

  I moaned when Kyle pinched my left nipple. He looked up at me “Every summer since I was fifteen, when we had our first kiss, I thought about you and how our first time would be. Then I was eighteen and I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to take you, all I wanted was you, Amy.” I pulled him into a kiss and Kyle deepened it. I pulled away and whispered “It was perfect and one of the best days of my life. It was how I’ve imaged it would have been with you.”

  Kyle stood up and took his pants off along with his boxer briefs. He unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and took them off. He knelt down between my legs a traced a finger along the blue lace on my panties. He looked at me with a sexy smirk on his face and a desire for me in his eyes. “You always wore matching underwear. It’s so sexy. Every time I see you I picture you in just your bra and panties and wonder what color they are.” I laughed at him and locked my eyes on his “Is that why you always have a huge smile on your face when you see me?”

  Kyle pulled off my panties without looking away from my gaze and says “Every time I think about you, I’ll always smile. It’s something about you that makes me happy.” He moved up my body lightly touching my skin. Before he reached my lips, he kissed and sucked on each breast. He looked at me with lust in his eyes “And these…” He kissed each breast “I love them. Your breasts are so prefect. I can just kiss, lick, and suck them all day. They are my weakness, you are my weakness Amy.”

  Kyle pulled up closer to kiss me. His lips stayed on mine while he slowly moved his right hand down my chest, to my belly, then to my mound. He slowly rubbed my inner lips with his index finger and I let out a soft moan. I was already wet and ready for him. He dipped his finger between them to get his finger a little wet. Then he moved to my clit and rubbed it in small little circles. I gasped and moaned in his kiss. He broke away and leaned into my ear “All I want is for you to be happy. That’s always what I wanted for you Amy. You are always what I want.” He leaned down to kiss my neck and his finger circling my clit picked up a little speed.

  I felt climax rising in me. My breathing was fast and raged. “Kyle…Oh God.” Then he moved his finger into my wet folds. He moved his index finger in and out of me slowly. Then he added one more finger and I let out a loud moan. “Amy, you’re so tight. I don’t think I will ever get use to you being so tight.” With those words his fingers started to move faster in me and my hips started to react. I moved my hips with the rhythm of his fingers, moaning and saying his name softly.

  Kyle moved down my body and placed his lips on my clit. He sucked it gently and circled his tongue around my clit. I moaned and his fingers and tongue picked up speed. “Kyle I’m….Oh God, Kyle I’m about to…” I couldn’t get the last word out, I was so close and it felt so good. I let go and it felt like wave after wave was hitting me. Kyle licked up all of my juices and moved up my body. He stopped at my breasts to play with them while the aftershock of my orgasm went through my body. He pinched and pulled one nipple while sucking and licking the other. Then he would switch breasts and do the same to the other one. “God Kyle, you just know what to do to give me the best orgasms.”

  He looked up at me and smiled and moved to my lips. He kissed me deeply and I could smell and taste myself. I grabbed his length and started to stroke it with both fists. He moaned loudly in my month and I smiled. He broke away “That feels so good. Amy, I…” I cut him off. I don’t want him to say it, I’m not ready to hear him say those words. Not yet, not until I know what I want. “My turn.” I started to pull him completely over to me, so his cock could be in my face. He stopped me and shook his head ‘no’ “This is about you Amy.” I let go of his hard and ready length and placed my hands on the back of his neck. I pulled him closer to me and Kyle guided his cock into my folds. I let out a soft moan and kissed him. He felt so good, so prefect.

  He moved a little so he could be deep inside of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer to me. Kyle ground his pelvis into mine softly and slowly. I moved my hips a little faster and pulled him closer to me with my legs. I just couldn’t get close enough to Kyle’s skin. I wanted him so close to me it would be too hard to breathe, even harder to think. Kyle let more of his weight on me and leaned to kiss me. His thrusts were starting to become a little rougher but
still slow. It felt so good and I wanted more of him. I wanted all of him. It felt so perfect like our bodies were made for each other. My curves fit perfectly with his.

  I started to moan and with each thrust, my moans would get louder. I felt my orgasm build in my lower belly. “Kyle I’m about too…Oh, Kyle, it feels so good.” Kyle kissed my neck and with each kiss he moaned. He picked his head up, “Amy, come with me. I want to feel those tight muscles gripping my cock so hard when I let lose inside of you.” I smiled at him and nodded “I’m so close Kyle. I’m right there. Yes. Fuck yes. Move a little faster. KYLEEEEE!” Kyle moved faster and my muscles clenched tight on his cock. I felt him shoot his hot seed in me and he moaned out loud. Kyle moved his hips three more times and each time he moved, he would shoot more hot seed against my inner walls. I arched my back and let go. My whole body was shaking when wave after wave hit me. I screamed his name and held him tight to me. Kyle’s face was snuggled in my neck and our breaths were rugged and deep.

  Kyle lifted up his head and I could see his eyes watering. Tears started to fall down my face as I looked him in the eyes. He rubbed his thumb across my check to catch the first drop. He leaned in and kissed the other tears away. Kyle took a small breath and picked up his head again. He caught my eyes with his and a small tear falls from his face. This is the first time I’ve ever seen a tear drop from those pretty green eyes. “Amy, I love you so much it hurts. When you’re in pain, I’m in pain. When you are happy, I’m happy.” I opened my month to speak but he covered my lips with his finger. “Please let me finish. I’ve always felt like this toward you and I always will. I know you are going through a lot right now and that you’re not ready for another relationship. And I don’t blame you, you need to heal. Just know that I will always be here for you. I will always help you no matter what.” I smiled at him and pulled him into a kiss. This time I was able to pour my heart and all my feelings in it. He’s here for me and will always be here.