Need to Bear (Heart of The Bear Book 4)

by Lily Marie

  She flinched at the endearment, and he knew. She was regretting what had happened between them.

  “I shouldn’t have—we shouldn’t have—”

  “Expressed our attraction for each other? I don’t know about you, Reagan, but I’ve been hooked since I first touched your hand. No, let me be completely honest. I saw you, in the library, so gentle with Corey, and I wanted you then.”

  Her head snapped up “You were furious with me.”

  “I was terrified that Corey would react badly to you touching him.”

  “I understand.” She stood, walking around the coffee table, and stopped in front of him. “I know what it feels like to carry the physical reminder of violence.”

  “Reagan, you don’t have to—”

  Before he could finish the sentence, she lifted her shirt.

  Grey wanted to hold her when he saw the scars that crisscrossed her ribs. They had been shallow cuts, but there were so many of them, the pain must have been excruciating. Then he wanted to kill the bastard who had inflicted them—slowly, and painfully.

  “I understand how Corey feels,” she whispered. Grey met her eyes, and he knew that he had already lost her. She didn’t move, but her emotional retreat had started. “I’d like to be alone now.”

  “Reagan.” He stood, more than aware that he towered over her. He tried to make himself as unthreatening as possible by stepping back, putting space between them. “I want to stay.”

  She let out a sigh, her gaze on his chest. “Thank you, for your concern. I’d like you to go now.”

  Grey figured that she was used to a man ignoring her requests, so he nodded, and walked to the front door, stopping long enough to slip on his boots.

  “If you need anything, Reagan, please call one of us. Don’t isolate yourself because of this.”

  She nodded, still not looking at him, and he knew that would have to be good enough. He let himself out, and stalked to his truck, ignoring the angry grumbling of his bear.

  “Shut up,” he muttered. “She’s still hurting, and we won’t contribute to that.”

  He also didn’t want to destroy her friendship with Corey. It was new, and fragile, and Corey needed someone like Reagan Kennedy. Someone who understood in a way that Grey never could.

  His first instinct was to go and talk to his mother, but he didn’t want Reagan’s past spread around—not without her permission.

  Time to back off—no matter how much he wanted her in his life.

  Six

  The week of Halloween crawled by for Reagan.

  She normally loved this time of year; the crisp, cool weather, the changing leaves, the kids’ enthusiasm as they talked about the upcoming holidays. All of it pulled Reagan into a joy and sharing she’d never had growing up.

  Corey did his best to draw her into the excitement, and she finally gave in, stopping him three days before Halloween.

  “Corey—I have a favor to ask.”

  “Sure, Miss Kennedy.” He had started calling her that again, the day after her falling out with Greyson. Most likely a directive from his father. Don’t get too close to the crazy librarian—she might snap. Another small hurt she tucked away. “What?”

  “I would love to host a Halloween party here, between after school and actual trick or treating. Something fun, maybe a little scary.”

  “That sounds awesome!” He started dancing in place, and Reagan burst out laughing, surprised by his reaction. He stopped, his face red.

  “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. I wasn’t laughing at you. I was just—delighted by your enthusiasm.”

  “Delighted by my enthusiasm.” He grinned, his embarrassment fading. “Sounds like something Dad would say.” His grin disappeared. “Sorry—I didn’t mean to—I mean, I didn’t—can I ask a question, Miss Kennedy?”

  “Of course.” She had a feeling she knew what the question would be, but he had every right to ask.

  “What happened with my dad?”

  “Oh, Corey.” She took his hand and led him to the small office behind the front counter. It gave them privacy, while still allowing her to watch the front door. “I like your dad, maybe too much. But I have things in my past. Things I have to work out before I can—”

  “But Dad could help! I know he likes you, Miss Kennedy. Reagan.” Hearing her first name tightened her throat. “I like you, too,” he whispered. “Please don’t run away.”

  “I have no intention of going anywhere. Pine Heart is my home.” She hugged Corey, wanting him to know that she cared about him, no matter what was or wasn’t between her and Greyson.

  And speaking of the shifter—he appeared in the doorway of the library, scanning the busy main room. Reagan knew the second he saw them; heat roared through her, and a need she had never felt before.

  “Your dad’s here,” she whispered, and let go of Corey.

  He spun, running around the counter and straight for Greyson. “Dad! Miss Kennedy asked me to help her with a Halloween party at the library!” He threw himself at his father, and Greyson caught him, glaring at her over Corey’s shoulder. “I can help, can’t I? It’s going to be awesome, and I want to help.”

  “Of course you can, Corey.” His deep, rumbling voice struck her heart, in a way she didn’t want. His whiskey gold eyes studied her, and her flush followed his gaze, from the top of her head to her booted feet. He lowered Corey to the floor. “I want to talk to Miss Kennedy for a minute, then we have to go. There’s been an issue at the station, and I need to get over there.”

  “I’d like to go with you, Dad.” Corey spoke quietly, but Reagan knew how much courage it took for him to say those words. She knew he hadn’t been near the forest since the kidnapping. “If that’s okay.”

  Greyson swept him up again, cradling the back of his head. Reagan couldn’t hear what he said, but she saw the emotions flash across his face. Joy, and relief. He carried Corey over to Reagan, his eyes a rich gold when he met her gaze.

  “I would like to talk to you, Miss Kennedy, after I deal with the wolves.”

  She swallowed. “Is that the issue?” She knew about the wolf shifters in the next valley, but had yet to meet one. They rarely entered Pine Heart, and the truce between the groups was shaky at the best times.

  “It will resolve quickly.” If he looked at them with the same fierce certainty, Reagan had a feeling any issue would no longer be an issue. “Can I call you later?”

  Say no, Reagan. Just say no—

  “Yes.”

  The hint of a smile tugged at his full lips. “Good.” He set Corey on his feet, and took his hand. “Let’s go, Cor.”

  “See you tomorrow, Miss Kennedy.” He waved at her before he started dragging Greyson across the library.

  She smiled as she watched them, not sure who was more eager, the son or the father. Her smile froze on her face when Greyson gave her one final look over his shoulder. He wanted her, but that look told her that he also wanted the truth of what happened to her.

  Swallowing, she turned away, and started sorting books on a return cart, to give her something to do. She gave up when her hands started shaking. She wasn’t sure she could relive that night. Not for Greyson.

  Not for anyone.

  ***

  Whatever issue Greyson had gone to deal with turned out to be more complicated than he had let on. He called Reagan, just long enough to let her know he would be tied up most of the night.

  She ended the call, not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.

  “Stop mooning over him, Reagan,” she muttered. “You were happy before you met him. You can still be happy.”

  Happy wasn’t the issue. Lonely was. She had never felt lonely, not since coming to Pine Heart. The locals had opened their hearts and their lives to her, and she had never felt so welcome anywhere.

  But now, looking around her small, neat cottage, she felt like half of her was missing.

  “You had to go and fall for a shifter, didn’t you?” A giant shifter, with the in
tellect of an academic, and a gentle heart. “Hopeless, Reagan. It’s hopeless.”

  She stopped talking to herself, and sat down at her small dining room table, not looking down the hall, to the bedroom where Greyson had kissed her, loved her, until she couldn’t think straight—

  With a disgusted snort, she moved to the other side of the table, and grabbed up one of the catalogs she stockpiled for her days off. Halfway through the first one, her cell phone rang. She almost leapt over the table to answer it.

  “Greyson—I didn’t expect you to—ˮ

  “Already replaced me, Reagan?” Mark’s voice froze her. He couldn’t have this number. How did he get her number? “You always were a slut at heart. It was one of the reasons I kept you in line. Better to nip it in the bud, before it can grow.”

  “How did you—ˮ

  “I told you, darling, I would always find you. Always.”

  She ended the call, and turned her phone off before she threw it across the room. Her skin crawled at the thought of ever touching it again.

  He had found her.

  “No—no no no no—ˮ

  She kept up the mantra of denial as she grabbed her keys and ran out of the cottage, stopping only long enough to engage every lock. Her hand shook, and it took twice as long to slide the key into each lock. After an eternity, she finished, and fled what she had always considered her safe haven.

  All she could think about was getting to Greyson. He would protect her, keep her safe, stand between her and the darkness.

  ***

  After a tense conversation with the head of the wolf shifters, Grey waited until the small convoy was out of sight before he climbed the stairs to the ranger station, his shoulders tense, every sense on alert.

  Because of that, he heard the car before he saw it.

  Reagan’s old sedan came skidding around the bend in the gravel road, correcting with a hard jerk. Grey grabbed the railing and leapt over it, landing on the ground just as she screeched to a halt. She left the car running and shoved the door open, almost tumbling out. He sprinted forward, catching her before she hit the damp soil face first.

  “Reagan—ˮ

  “He found me—oh, God, he found me and I won’t be safe again—ˮ Anguished sobs cut her off.

  Grey scooped her up and carried her up to the empty station, whispering to her, letting her know she wasn’t alone. She shook like a winter leaf in his arms. Silently thankful that Elijah was out on patrol, he pushed the door open with his shoulder and strode across the huge space to his small office.

  He lowered Reagan to the worn sofa that took up one wall. “Stay here, love. I’m going to get you some water.” She clutched his hand, with such desperation his heart ached. “You’ll be able to see me every second. I won’t leave you, I promise.”

  After a few seconds of staring at him with her beautiful blue eyes, she finally nodded, and freed her death grip. Grey walked out of his office, careful to keep in sight of the open door, swearing under his breath as he headed for the office fridge.

  He was going to kill the bastard who had put the stark fear into her eyes.

  But first, he had to calm her down, get her to tell him what had happened to her. It was tearing her apart, and she needed to get it out, talk about it, let it lose its hold on her. He had been afraid to do the same with Corey, that reliving the painful memory would have his son retreating even more.

  It was obvious that Reagan needed to face her personal demon, before it tore her apart.

  He grabbed two bottles of water, and the covered plate of leftover fried chicken that Elijah had brought in. Some of Kaylee’s comfort food would be in order, after Reagan calmed down. By the time he returned, she had stopped the heart-wrenching sobbing, and was sniffling. She glanced up at him as he walked in, obviously embarrassed.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice raw. “I shouldn’t have—ˮ

  “Drink.” He handed her the water and set the plate on the scarred coffee table. Every piece of furniture in his office was a cast-off from one of his brothers. He loved being surrounded by items that had been well used, and well loved. “Eat, if you’re hungry. It’s Kaylee’s chicken.”

  Some of the fear faded. “Really?” She leaned forward and took a drumstick, eating it with an enthusiasm he admired. Who was he kidding—he admired everything about this woman, from her obvious courage to her compassion for others. “Delicious.”

  She sighed, and ate more. Grey gave her the time and space she needed, sitting behind his desk, waiting for her to start talking. His bear grumbled—repeatedly—but he ignored the complaints. He also ignored his cock, which pressed against the front of his jeans like it was trying to escape.

  “I’m sorry for running to you,” she said. “Again.”

  “Tell me what prompted it.”

  Swallowing, she stared down at her hands. “My ex called.”

  “What?” Grey stood, shock driving through him. “How did he find you?”

  “That is the question of the day.” Reagan met his eyes, and he saw resignation. “He always threatened me when I told him I was leaving him. He said he would find me, no matter where I managed to hide. I didn’t believe him, until now.”

  Grey strode across the office and sat next to her. “I won’t let him hurt you again, Reagan.” He took a chance, and cradled her cheek. “You’re not alone this time.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Before he had the chance to prepare himself, she grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him.

  Heat exploded through him at the feel of her lips. He growled and hauled her into his lap, his bear demanding to touch more of her, feel more of her. She let out a low moan, then rocked against his throbbing cock.

  He eased back enough to meet her eyes. “Reagan.”

  “I missed you so much, Greyson. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but there it is. You got under my skin.” She slowly unbuttoned his shirt. “Now, all I want to do is touch your hot, tanned skin. Every inch of it.”

  With a wicked grin, she leaned forward and closed her mouth over his nipple.

  He jerked, surprised and aroused. No woman had ever tasted him like that—or turned him on so much with just her mouth.

  “Reagan—God help me—ˮ He eased her back, pleased to see her as aroused. “Before I pin you to the wall and make hot, mind-blowing love to you—ˮ

  “Yes, please.”

  Laughter burst out of him. Another first—Shannon had taken lovemaking seriously, never laughing, never joking. Grey discovered that he enjoyed the playful side of loving someone else. He knew what he said next would kill the playful mood.

  “I need you to tell me what happened with him.”

  Reagan let out a sigh. To his surprise, she didn’t distance herself; instead, she wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head against his shoulder.

  “Mark Harris was—is—an incredibly charming man. He charmed me from the first date, and it wasn’t until we moved in together that I saw the real Mark. The jealous, possessive Mark.” There was so much pain in her quiet voice, Grey cradled the back of her head, to let her know he was here, that she wasn’t facing her memories alone. “If I looked at another man, he flew into a jealous rage. The first time he hit me, I left him.”

  “What happened?”

  “He came after me and dragged me home. I was his, and I could only leave when he was done with me.” She lifted her head, met Grey’s eyes. “For him, that meant never. I was his forever woman, the one he’d been searching for all his life. After he raged at me, he locked me in the guest bedroom. That night, I started planning my escape.”

  She shuddered, and he slid his hand down, spreading it across her back.

  “You’re safe now, love. Keep going, when you’re ready.”

  After she took a few shaky breaths, she continued. “The morning of my escape, Mark came home unexpectedly, and caught me. I’d seen him in a rage before, but nothing like that. He grabbed
me by the hair and dragged me to the kitchen.”

  “Reagan.” Grey had a sick feeling he knew where this was headed. “If you want to wait—ˮ

  “You’re right. I need to get it out. I never had to testify against him because the neighbor called the police, and they found him over me, the knife in his hand.” She let out a sigh. “I bought him the knife he used on me. It was part of a set. Mark loved to cook, and I surprised him with a set of chef knives.”

  Grey kissed the top of her head, and lifted her until she sat sideways in his lap. This way, he could hold her, surround her with his warmth, his presence. She tightened her grip on him.

  “The first cut shocked me. I didn’t expect him to hurt me, not like that. I screamed when he cut me the second time, and didn’t stop until he was hauled off me by the police. He never tried to stop me, which told me he thought no one would hear—or if they did, they would know better than to interfere. Our neighbors didn’t like him much, but I got along well with them. I was lucky that one of them was home sick, and heard me.”

  “There wasn’t a trial?”

  She shook her head. “He confessed, like it was some accomplishment. His high-priced attorney spent quite a while trying to talk him into pleading not guilty, but I have a feeling he didn’t expect to be punished. I wasn’t in court when he received his sentence, but I can imagine the surprise on his face.”

  “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”

  “For some reason, I’ve trusted you since the first day I saw you.” She glanced up at him, a shy smile on her face. “I think it had to do with your son.”

  “Corey adores you.” He leaned in, his lips brushing hers. “And despite everything I tried to do to prevent it, so do I.”

  Her mouth opened in surprise, and he took advantage by kissing her.

  This time, the kiss was tender, and welcoming. Grey poured every ounce of his need for her into it, telling her with his lips and his tongue just how much he cared. By the time he eased back, they were both breathless, and he was hard as a rock.

  Down, boy.

  No matter how much he wanted her right now, she was still too vulnerable. His bear wanted to disagree, but it grudgingly gave in—very grudgingly, growling in frustration. Grey almost smiled; he understood completely.