I felt Julian come up behind me, heard the crackle from the fire he’d made. He put hand on my waist and without a second thought, I pulled his arm forward, wrapping completely around my waist. His other arm wrapped around me and we stood at those windows not saying a word, our arms tangled, the only sound from our hearts beating. I relaxed more fully into him, his chest at my back. I felt his chest expand slightly with each breath he took and it was such a good feeling, to feel him breathing against me, his warmth wrapped around me.
I felt his chin come to rest on my shoulder. “What do you think?”
“I can see why you bought it.”
Julian tilted his head and kissed my neck once, softly. “I’ve always wanted to live in the woods, surrounded by quiet.”
I leaned into his lips at my ear, felt him kiss me again. “I kind of have a thing for the woods,” I said, tingles running down my neck from his kiss.
He murmured something intelligible against my neck before bring his lips to kiss just behind my ear. “I kind of have a thing for you.”
I couldn’t help the smile. “I kind of have a thing for you, too.”
“That’s convenient,” he muttered under his breath before tightening his arms around my waist. His lips moved along the angle of my jaw and I exhaled a breath.
“You make me forget who I am,” I admitted, closing my eyes to savor this moment. “You make me feel like I’m lost and found, at the same time.”
“I’ll always find you,” he said into my neck.
I couldn’t believe I’d only known him for nine days and already felt this way for him. Knowing what he knew now, how he felt about me, was freeing in a way I didn’t expect. I’d unloaded on him, told him everything, and he was still here, happily. I felt the itch in my nose that signaled tears. I turned around, facing him, and brought my hands to his face. His trimmed beard was prickly against my palms, and his eyes were on mine, searching. I felt his arms wrap around my waist. We were close, his chest pushing into mine with each inhale. “Thank you.” It was simply said, but I hoped he understood why I was thankful.
His brows drew together as he brought a hand to my face, pushing the hairs away from my eyes. “Andra.” And then I knew, because he felt the same way. The way he said that one word told me everything.
“Can I see your kitchen?” I asked, my fingers playing with his hair.
“Yeah, come on.” His hand slid from my face, down my arm, and clasped my hand as he led me through the open doorway into the kitchen. The dark wood cabinets were in, the silver and gold granite counters were glossy, reflecting the light that streamed through the windows.
I let go of Julian’s hand to get a little breathing space. I walked along the kitchen island, aware of Julian’s focus on me.
My heart was starting a slow strum in my chest, my body attuned to his. I opened his refrigerator under the guise of being nosey. I saw Julian move around the kitchen island out of my peripheral vision. I eyed the contents with a detachment, my attention more focused on the man advancing towards me.
I reached in and yanked out a water bottle before slamming the door shut. Julian was a few feet away. He was looking at me with a hunger in his eyes. It was both intimidating and thrilling. I backed up until I hit the counter behind me. Why was I so nervous?
I twisted the lid off of the water bottle, never once breaking eye contact. I hesitated a moment before bringing the bottle to my lips. I took a small sip, pulled back, and then a longer sip. The coolness of the water did nothing to extinguish the heat that was traveling across my body.
Julian’s lips were set in a firm line, his eyebrows drawn together. As with every other time I caught him looking at me, his stare was intense. But this time it had the added sexual tension simmering underneath, causing a small tick in his jaw. He gave me the briefest crooked smile as he stepped closer, slowly.
My pulse picked up tempo as the distance between our bodies decreased. I took a hurried sip of the water before Julian was close enough to take it from me. Keeping his eyes locked on mine, he took a deep sip of the water. When he pulled the bottle away, I couldn’t remove my eyes from the tiny droplets that remained on his upper lip.
The hair on my arms stood on end, as if his nearness was causing a magnetic reaction. The air was thick with our heavy breathing, but we weren’t even touching. Yet.
He took another pull from the bottle before setting it on the counter my back was up against. He moved closer still, close enough that I swore I could feel the warmth of his body despite not being physically touched by him. Sandalwood swirled in the small space and it was all I could breathe in. I was becoming intoxicated by his presence.
Fuck, I thought. His lips curved, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkled in humor, and then I realized I’d actually spoken the word out loud. Fuck, I thought again, this time silently.
Julian lifted a hand up and I sucked in a breath as he ran the back of it down my arm, surely feeling the gooseflesh that had popped up all over my skin. When he reached my wrist, he traced it with just a fingertip. My hand unclenched its fist and I closed my eyes. How had I become so sensitive to such an innocent touch?
I felt him lean forward until his mouth was at my neck. He paused a moment, his breath warming my skin, before pressing a kiss softly against the spot just under my chin.
My breaths at this point were coming in fast, uneven, as if my lungs were constricted.
He dragged his lips down my neck, stopping along the way to press a kiss here and there. I felt his hands go to my shoulders and slide in, towards my neck. Julian’s hands gently bent my neck in one direction, giving his lips more access to my flesh. He slid his hands into my hair and cupped the back of my head, manipulating my neck to accommodate the path he traced along my throat.
I shuddered a breath loose from my lips. Time felt suspended, like nothing else in the world could be happening at this moment. I couldn’t think outside the space we occupied. It was equally the most terrifying and most sensual moment of my entire life.
He held me as if my bones were made of glass, as if my skin would tear beneath his lips if he applied too much pressure. When his lips pressed against the pulse at the base of my throat, I wondered if he could feel the power in my pulse, the power he was solely responsible for. As if in answer, his hand moved from my neck to my chest, resting over the space that contained my heart. There was something beautiful and intentional about that gesture, like he was acknowledging the mortal part of me that reacted so restlessly to his touch.
He looked up after my heart thudded several times beneath his palm, brown eyes penetrating into my own. We stared at each other for a few more thuds before I lifted my hand tentatively, placing it on his heart. I felt the power of his muscle, the muscle that gave him life, the muscle that pumped the blood through his body. This was more than the sexual tension that flowed around us; this was tenderness. This was the defining moment. My body was no longer a pendulum, swinging to and from Julian. I leaned into him in acknowledgement of that fact. I’d fallen in love with him at the concert when we danced under a dark sky. And still, I was falling headfirst into love, real love. I knew feeling so deeply was not without risk or fear, but it was there regardless. Julian had broken through the barriers I’d set in place, though admittedly, I hadn’t resisted too much. He knew my secrets and yet, despite losing the security blanket my secrets provided, I’d never felt more safe with someone.
He brought his other hand to mine, the hand over his heart. Slowly, with care, he removed my palm from his shirt and brought it to his lips. His eyes never left mine as he kissed each fingertip once, ending with a kiss to the center of my palm.
My heart tripped over itself. This man would definitely be my undoing. Desire bloomed deep in my belly.
Before I knew what he was doing, he reached behind me. I heard a soft click and then a crackle as speakers turned on. A second later, piano played softly, and then the vocals came in, “come away with me in the night.” The soft
vocals and sleepy melody was perfect for this moment.
His fingers intertwined with mine, and the hand over my heart moved to the curve of my waist. He gently pulled me forward until we were chest to chest, hip to hip. My free hand found his shoulder as Julian led me away from the counter, moving slowly against me to the rhythm of the song.
“Norah Jones, huh?” I murmured against his face.
I felt the movement of his smile from the scratch of his stubble on my forehead. “Norah Jones,” he repeated.
I closed my eyes to better soak in the moment. The song was romantic, sleepy, and sweet. Her voice was silky, like a slip of smoke curling around us.
We danced in his kitchen, across ripped up flooring, surrounded by tools and boxes of tile. There was nothing but Norah Jones and the scuff of our shoes on the dusty floor as Julian slowly moved with me back and forth, rubbing his stubble against my hair.
“I love dancing with you,” he said after a moment, his voice soft.
“I’m growing quite fond of it myself.” I rubbed my head against his. “Why this song?” I whispered.
I felt his lips press against my hair. “Words are what I know,” he murmured. “I’m good with words; I turn them into sentences and into paragraphs and eventually into novels. The words don’t have any deep meaning to me, they’re just words.” I felt the hand at my waist squeeze once. “But you?” he asked, his voice taking on a deeper quality. “You burrow down, underneath all that bullshit, down to the core of who I am.” I felt my throat constrict with feeling.
Julian nuzzled against my hair. “You aren’t impressed with my words. I’m not J.J., the writer, to you. I’m Julian.” He pulled me closer, close enough that not even the threat of air would be able to separate our bodies. His arm was now snug around my waist, wrapped from one side of me to the other. I was trapped, but I wasn’t scared. I was safe, in his arms, wrapped up with his words and his presence.
“This song?” he continued. “These words have meaning. These words echo how I feel for you. I’m no song writer, nor am I a poet. I’m just Julian.” He pulled back slightly, just enough to stare into my eyes. He brushed the tendrils away before framing my face in his hands. “I’m just Julian. And you’re just Andra. And my words usually hold no meaning, but these do: I’m falling for you. Hopelessly, hurriedly, and freely falling for you.”
My entire body shuddered, igniting a smoldering fire inside of me. I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to. His eyes were so earnest, so humble. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I parted my lips, but before I could push any words between them, his lips closed on mine.
He kissed me softly at first. But that fire inside of me was starved, and I reached out, gripping onto his shirt, trying to grasp anything to keep me grounded.
I felt myself being lifted up onto the kitchen island. This position put me up higher than he was, so I cradled his jaw in my hands and deepened the kiss. Julian’s hands were on my waist, tightening and loosening his grip intermittently. I leaned back and whipped my shirt over my head. His fingers glided up from my waist to my bra, bypassing my breasts completely as he traced the straps on my shoulders.
I watched him, enraptured. “Beautiful,” he whispered while trailing his fingers down the straps, over the cups of the bra. I tried to steady my breathing as his fingers traced the edge where skin met satin. Up and over one curve, tracing my tattoo, before he moved his fingers to the under band. He slid his hands to the wings on the side and in an instant, his fingers were under the material, touching my skin, gripping around my ribcage. He brushed his thumbs over my nipples, which were pebbled and protruding slightly from the thin satin.
I shuddered again.
Julian moved his hands over my upper arms to my shoulders again before I felt him tug the straps away from shoulders. A second later, he released the straps and there was a very satisfying slap sound from the straps connecting with my shoulders again. The sensation was just another jolt to my desire. I felt his fingers hook in the front center of my bra and he tugged me forward before lifting me down from the kitchen island.
My impatient hands grasped the bottom hem of his tee before I lifted it up. He took the shirt from my hands and flung it over his head, tossing it somewhere behind him.
I hadn’t forgotten how sculpted his torso was, but it was still another shock to my over-aroused body. My fingers had a mind of their own and immediately rested upon his chest. I traced the hard lines of muscle there and met his eyes. His eyes were heady with desire, his bottom lip wet from our kiss. His face was the most sensual part of his entire body, hard lines and eyes burning with need for me. I was drunk off of the way he looked at me. Keeping my eyes locked with his, I deliberately bit my lip before brushing a finger nail down the line that separated the halves of his six-pack.
He narrowed his eyes in response before picking me up and tossing me over his shoulder like I weighed nothing. I thought he was headed back to the island but he strode down the hallway to a dark room. Upside-down, I could see barely more than long, dark wood flooring, then a shaggy cream rug. I made out dark wood posts of what I assumed was a bed before Julian tossed me onto it, confirming my guess. I quickly glanced at it, noted the dark wood of the four-poster style bed. I was on my back, my legs hanging off the end of bed frame. I moved my eyes to stare at the shirtless man watching me silently from between my hanging legs. There was challenge in his eyes and I smiled playfully before scooting backwards towards the head of the bed.
I didn’t make it far.
He grabbed my ankles and with one yank, tugged me back down the duvet to the foot of the bed. He smiled, his sexy, pleased-with-himself smile. I quickly unsnapped the button on my shorts and slowly tugged the zipper down. His hands landed on mine, stalling me. His eyes told me he wanted to be in control of this part and I let him.
He grasped the waistband of my shorts and I lifted my butt off the bed to allow him to pull them down and off. He tugged my flip flops off along with my shorts and then looked down on me.
The room was dark, and only half of his face was highlighted by the muted lights of the hallway. His eyes slid up my legs to my underwear, over my bare stomach and bra, before they met mine. Something shifted then, turning something that was playful into something serious. I felt my heart thud, painfully hard, in my chest as we stared at each other silently. Those nerves returned, reminding me that this man was different. This was obviously much more than sex, for both of us. It was the first time that I’d felt anything more than a desire to scratch an itch.
This was the first time I had an emotional attachment to the person I was going to be physically intimate with. That realization took my breath away.
Julian nudged my legs apart before starting to climb onto the bed. I scooted back towards the pillows, giving him room and laying my body more fully on the bed.
He leaned over me, his face tender. “Are you ready for this?”
My heart settled in my chest as I smiled up at Julian. I reached a hand to his face and gently rubbed my fingers against his stubble. “I’ve never been more utterly unprepared for this. But,” I said before he moved away, “I’ve never wanted this more, never wanted another man more than right now.”
Julian leaned down until his face was in my neck. I heard him release a breath as if in a sigh. His warm breath fluttered over my neck and I wiggled a little in reaction. “God,” he said. He pulled his head up, supporting himself on one arm while his free hand cupped my cheek. “Do you know how enchanting you are? What kind of magic are you conjuring up, Andra?”
“You’ve charmed me too, Julian.” I whispered.
His lips moved down the center line of my chest. Light kisses peppered my skin until he reached the center of my bra. He looked up at me and as if I was reading his mind, I arched my back off the bed, allowing him to reach under me and unclasp my bra. He tugged the straps off my shoulders and pulled them down my arms, releasing the bra from my breasts while doing so.
H
e sat up and looked down at my bare skin. I was breathing heavily, my breasts heaving with the exertion. Julian reached down and traced just one finger over the curves of my breast, tracing the word I’d tattooed there. “Your skin is like silk.”
He leaned down and traced the same path, but this time with his lips. I writhed under his touch, impatient for more. He chuckled against my skin, rubbing it with his facial hair. I squirmed more when he rubbed his face against my nipple, scratching with his facial hair. “Julian…” I said, on edge.
I felt two fingers press against my lips, pushing me so that I lay my head on the pillow. His lips moved down my body, along the waist of my panties, while his fingers glided up and down on my inner thighs. His knuckles brushed against me through my panties and I nearly bucked off the bed.
Julian eased the sides of my panties down. I felt him stop after a couple inches and I looked down to see what had stopped him.
He was staring at the initials I’d inked under my hip bone. CM. The one tattoo I hadn’t shown him. His eyes lifted up, his eyebrows drawn together. Locking eyes with me, he placed his lips on the CM. My breath caught at the tender gesture, and it only further enhanced the ache I felt to connect with him.
A moment later we were stripping our underwear off of each other with hurried movement, in between multiple, one second-long kisses.
He Found Me Page 20
