“I-I don’t think I can do that, Alex.” Her voice is timid, showing how nervous this makes her.
“Yes, you can. It’s really easy and I’ll be here to walk you through it. By the time we’re done, you’ll know this thing forward and backward, okay?”
She swallows hard before nodding. Sitting on the bed with her, I go over the different parts of the gun before talking about safety.
“Just remember, this gun is always loaded. Even if it’s not, treat it like it is and the chances of an accident go way down.” She nods her understanding again.
The last thing I teach her is proper technique; how to hold it, how to line up the sights, what to do if it jams, and how to fire it. She looks slightly overwhelmed by all the information I just threw at her, but that’s okay. She just needs to be comfortable enough to pick it up if the worst-case scenario happens.
“Got it?”
A glazed look crosses over her face and it almost makes me laugh. “Yeah,” she says, unsure.
“Perfect. Let’s go find a secluded place to fire off a couple rounds so you know what it feels like when it goes off.” At first she’s hesitant, but she eventually gets up and follows me out the door.
Living out in the middle of nowhere has its advantages. We find a nice spot not far away and spend the next hour or so target practicing. Thank God for Turner and his foresight because he left me a whole bunch of ammo along with the gun. I guess he figured she’d need to squeeze off a few too.
It’s not long before Elizabeth relaxes a little and actually looks comfortable. Watching her raise the glock, aim, and fire is like the biggest wet dream. She looks hot as fuck right now and doesn’t have a damn clue.
“Okay, I think you’ve got the hang of it. I have to say that I’m pretty impressed, sweetheart. You’re a natural.” I wink before leaning down and giving her a kiss. I had lined up some empty soda cans and she ended up hitting them all.
“You remember that,” she says with a feisty smile on her face. Damn what I wouldn’t love to do with that mouth right now.
TWO DAYS LATER and we’re about to pack up the few things we have in the room and find another hotel. After that close call at the cabin, we both agreed not to take any chances. I updated Turner on the information I got out of Elizabeth about Cal and his connection to Henry yesterday. He’s got someone combing through his voting record right now. I know whatever we find is going to be the concrete evidence needed to put these fuckers away.
“Alex,” she says catching my attention. “Do you mind if I use your phone to call my mom? It’s Monday and she’ll worry if she doesn’t hear from me.”
“Yeah, just be careful what you say to her.” I hand her the phone and she dials her mom’s number.
“Hi, Mom, how are you feeling?” she asks after a few seconds. It goes quiet and when I look back up at her, she’s as white as a ghost.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, concern clear in my voice. Her mouth opens slightly but she just shakes her head.
“What! No, I left him, Mom, but you and Dad can’t tell Cal you talked to me. Do you understand?” She pauses while her mother talks and I strain to hear what she’s saying, but I can’t. “How can you say that? You have no idea what kind of monster I was married to, mother. He did things to me I would never dream of telling you.” Her tone takes on a hard edge and I can feel the resentment radiating off of her. “I only stayed married to him because it made you happy and it’s what paid your medical bills. I couldn’t leave him and let that disease kill you, so I died a little inside every day instead. But I’m taking my life back and I will not go back to that son of a bitch,” she seethes as her face turns red with anger. “Look, I’ve got to go. Please don’t say anything to Cal if he calls you again. I love you too.” She hangs up and tosses the phone on the bed.
“What happened?”
“Cal called my mother and said that I’d been kidnapped. He filed a missing person’s report on me yesterday.”
“Shit.” This isn’t good. It’s not like the FBI goes around to the local precincts and lets them know that there are undercover operations going on in the area, especially when we’re bouncing around from place to place. Not to mention we don’t know how far Cal and this cartel’s influence goes. We can’t risk notifying someone who ends up being an informant.
Her face is going to be plastered on every major news outlet. If someone recognizes her and reports it, the cops will have no idea what’s really going on and will notify Cal that they found her. “This just keeps getting better and better,” I mutter to myself as I rub the bridge of my nose.
“I just want this to be over.” Her hands cover her face. She sounds so defeated, so exhausted that I know I can’t lose my shit right now. I have to be strong for the both of us. Give her hope that this will all be worth it in the long run and that we just have to keep moving.
Walking over to her, I pull her hands away and cup her cheeks. “It will be. We just have to hang in there a little longer. Do you think your mom will tell Cal she talked to you?”
She shakes her head. “No, but I kinda feel bad I just blew up on her like that. I don’t want to put my unhappiness off on her. I had choices and I chose to stay, but it’s just something I’ve been holding in for so long and it all just came to a head when she asked me why I left him.”
I pull her into me and hold her. “I’m sure she understands you were speaking out of frustration. She’s your mother, she’ll forgive you.” My lips find the tip of her nose, making her smile.
“You’re probably right.” She sighs while letting go of some of the tension in her body.
“You ready to go?”
“Yeah.”
I drape one arm around her shoulder and we walk to the car. She looks up at me and gives me a tight smile that doesn’t reach those beautiful eyes of hers. I squeeze her tighter, silently showing my support. The conversation with her mom must be weighing on her mind and I just want to be there for her.
About an hour or so later, we’re pulling into the parking lot. If I didn’t need to stay close to the area, I’d have us halfway across the country by now. Being this close to Cal and his goons doesn’t make me feel better in regards to Elizabeth’s safety. I want nothing more than to run far, far away with her, but I have to see this through first. As long as Cal is out there, she’ll never truly be safe no matter how far we run. He has the resources to track her down.
On the way here, we stopped at a Goodwill store. We both needed some more clothes and figured the people in there wouldn’t pay us much attention. After grabbing a few things haphazardly, we went through the checkout and were out of there in ten minutes flat, so I’m confident no one recognized us.
“Do you want to get in the shower first?” I ask her.
“Uh, no, you go ahead.” Ever since she got off the phone with her mom she seems distracted, distant even. I keep telling myself that she’s just processing everything that has happened over the last several days, but my gut tells me it’s more than that. She’s either not being honest about their conversation, or there’s something else bothering her.
“Okay, I’ll be out in a minute.” I kiss her on the cheek and walk back to the bathroom. Reaching over my head and grabbing the back of my collar, I pull my shirt over my head and then turn on the shower. I’m about to take off my pants when I realize I forgot shampoo and soap. This isn’t the type of hotel that gives out tiny complimentary bottles. When I walk out of the bathroom, I see Elizabeth sitting on the edge of the bed with her face in her hands. Her body quietly shakes and I know she’s crying.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I rush over and kneel in front of her, concern clear in my voice.
She wipes her face quickly and looks up at me. The sorrow filling her eyes just about breaks me. Shaking her head, she says, “Nothing, I’m just being emotional.” She sniffles and tries to laugh it off, but we both know she’s not convincing.
“What have I told you before? You can’t lie for shit. I kn
ow you’re hiding something from me.” I cup her cheek to ease the sting of my words, but I’ve let her off the hook a lot. Never pushing her to talk to me when she doesn’t want to. Hell, I didn’t even force her to tell me the whole reason why she was trying to commit suicide. That ends now. We’ll sit here all damn night if we have to.
She pulls her face away from my hand and looks down at the ground. Her lip trembles and she bites it to steady it. “I just can’t. It hurts too much.” Her throat is clogged with emotion making it difficult to hear her clearly.
“Please, talk to me,” I plead. “I can tell this is eating away at you.”
“I’m afraid,” she whispers. Bringing her gaze back to mine, I see the truth in her words. She’s terrified. Of what, I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.
“Of what?”
She closes her eyes. “What you’ll think. What you’ll do.” She pauses and opens them up. “How you’ll look at me.” Her voice cracks on the last word.
“God, Elizabeth. There isn’t anything you could tell me that would make me look at you differently. I love you. Nothing is ever going to change that. Ever.” My eyes never leave hers as I tell her this with every bit of confidence I feel. The fact that she thinks I’d judge her or love her less hurts. My feelings for her are unwavering. I thought she knew that.
She sniffs again and looks up at the ceiling seeming to collect herself. The anticipation is driving me fucking insane. “Soon after you were taken, I found out I was pregnant.”
Pregnant.
The one thing I never expected her to say. The shock of it hits me first. I forget how to breathe as I lose my balance and land on my ass.
I’m going to be a dad.
It slowly sinks in and a big grin spreads across my face. But as I look up at Elizabeth, she’s not sharing in the same happiness as me. My eyes travel to her stomach and see that it’s as flat as ever with no sign of a baby bump at all. I’m not an expert, but I’d think she’d be showing by now. That observation puts a lead ball in the pit of my stomach. I have a bad feeling about this. I’m terrified to hear what she’ll say next.
Her bottom lip quivers and she swallows hard before continuing. “At first I was completely stunned. I couldn’t believe this was happening and I didn’t know how to process it. I had just lost you and now I was carrying your baby. It felt like a miracle that God was giving me a piece of you that I’d be able to hold on to for the rest of my life. But then I realized I’d have to tell Cal.”
It suddenly dawns on me. “That day you had to be helped off stage . . .”
She solemnly nods. “I found out that morning. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts on what I was going to do that I completely zoned out. I didn’t have a clue what was going on around me, so I made a fool of myself and Cal. When we got back to the bus, he was furious. Saying I’ve fucked up his campaign and that I’m so worthless that I can’t even sit and smile like I’m supposed to.” My fists clench hearing of him disrespecting her again.
“He kept yelling and banging things around.” Her eyes close as if she’s remembering the moment. “I finally caved and told him.”
“What did he do?” My heart picks up its pace.
I know it’s coming.
The part that I don’t want to hear.
Her eyes come back to mine. Her sadness and apprehension meets my fear. “At first he just looked at me. It was like he was trying to decide if he heard me right. But after he recovered, he made it very clear what I was to do. He—he told me I had to get an abortion.”
Abortion?
No.
My whole body goes rigid, turning to ice. She couldn’t have. “D-did you—”
“No,” she cuts me off. “Cal knew the baby wasn’t his. The only explanation would be that I was unfaithful. And, well, we can’t have people knowing that I’m a whore, is how he put it. He was adamant that I terminate the pregnancy, but I refused. I finally had something in my life that was made out of love. I wasn’t going to give that up,” she chokes out.
We made a baby. And Cal wanted to kill it. I want to ask her what happened, but fear has latched on to my vocal cords and is holding my words hostage. My imagination runs wild. I don’t want to hear this. I can’t. Bile rises up the back of my throat as I force myself to listen.
“He . . . oh, God.” She covers her face with her hands and begins to sob. I stand up and immediately wrap my arms around her. I know this is going to kill me. Destroy me. I sit next to her and continue holding her, rocking back and forth. I want to delay this as long as possible. As soon as she says it out loud, it becomes real. There’ll be no hiding from it. And I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself.
“Shhh, it’s going to be okay, sweetheart.” Soon, her sobbing subsides.
“I should’ve told you all of this a while ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” She pulls back from my arms. “Cal drugged me and had a crooked doctor come over and perform the abortion at our home,” she rushes out while tears stream down face. “I didn’t even know until I woke up the next morning. Cal was sitting next to my bed and told me he took care of the issue since I wouldn’t. I didn’t have to ask to know what he was talking about. I could feel it.” Her words are thick with emotion and she barely gets it all out before she crumbles in a fit of hysterics.
I’m stunned.
Heartbroken.
I can’t even console her right now.
If I thought I had experienced heartache before—my past relationships, losing my brothers in combat—it has nothing on what I’m feeling now. I feel like someone has cracked my ribs in two, reached in, and yanked my heart out with their bare hands. The wind has been knocked out of me and breathing becomes a challenge. My body is slowly shutting down as what she says sinks in.
“Our baby?” I ask just above a whisper. The ache in my chest is so deep I find it hard to speak as a single tear runs down my face. “He k-killed our baby?”
She nods as her body succumbs to the pain and she continues to sob uncontrollably. “It was like losing you all over again,” she says through her tears.
I sit motionless for I don’t know how long, staring at the wall. I don’t blink. I don’t speak. I let the enormity of the situation settle over me and fester like an infection. “Is that why you tried to kill yourself?” I finally ask.
“Yes,” she hiccups.
I feel like I’m in utter despair. Never in my life have I been so helpless. There’s not a goddamn thing I can do to change this and it’s killing me. He took away something that I—that we—can never get back. My heart breaks for Elizabeth at the thought of her going through this on her own. Once again I failed to save her, but this time I also failed my unborn child. A child I’ll never get to meet, hold, feed, or rock. My stomach turns violently, threatening to expel its contents with that realization.
It hurts. It’s a pain like no other. My jaw grinds as depression and rage fight a battle within me, competing for control. I have to swallow down the bile that rises in my throat as images of an innocent, green-eyed beauty flash through my head. I can’t do this. I can’t think about what we’ve lost and not do something about it. I get up and grab my car keys.
“Where are you going?” she asks alarmed. I don’t answer her and storm out the door. Jail is too nice of a place for Cal.
That motherfucker dies today.
ELIZABETH
HE LEFT ME.
I need him right now and he abandoned me.
I curl up into the fetal position on the bed while the sadness I feel on a daily basis overwhelms me. I get that it’s a lot to take in, and I’m sure that was the last thing he was expecting to hear. Now, I wish I didn’t tell him. I should’ve kept it to myself and hoped that time would finally heal me. Because I’m not whole. I haven’t been for quite some time. I thought I was on my way to putting myself back together when I met Alex, but I was shattered beyond repair when he was taken from me. But when Cal robbed me of the one thing tying me to A
lex, I felt like someone threw all the pieces away.
I became vacant and withdrawn. I couldn’t get over what had happened to me and I didn’t know how to handle the pain. There was no one there for me to talk to. No one to comfort me and tell me I’d be okay. No one there to grieve with me. Looking around at the empty room, I realize I still don’t have those things.
My soul chips away a little as I relive that horrible day. If I thought hearing Alex die over the phone was awful, it’s nothing compared to how I felt when I woke up that morning after the abortion. Cal was sitting next to my bed waiting for me to wake up. He looked so smug, so proud of himself when I looked at him. It’s like he was happy to have done something so atrocious. He’s a sick and twisted man who takes joy in my pain and misery. But it wasn’t just the look on his face that gave it away. I felt it too. A darkness crawled up my body and blanketed me that day, holding me prisoner. I knew then there was no way out of the black, bottomless hole I was falling through. At that point, I lost all will to live—to survive.
I’m terrified just thinking of what Alex could be doing right now. I’ll never forgive myself if he does something that’ll take him away from me forever. My soul—my heart—needs him. He makes me feel less broken. He’s the glue holding me together right now, and I’m afraid of what will happen to me if he’s gone. Going back to Cal isn’t an option, but how will I keep outrunning him? He’ll find me. I know it.
God, please let Alex come back to me soon.
ALEX
MY FOOT PUSHES the accelerator to the floor as I speed down the road. I’m on a mission to hand out some justice, and God himself couldn’t stop me at this point. My hands grip the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles turn white, and I’m almost afraid I’ll snap it in half. Every ragged breath I take makes my nostrils flare out like a fucking dragon. And, that’s what I am right now. A horrible monster that’s been unleashed with so much fury that I’m going to burn the whole goddamn world down.
Uncovered by Truth Page 12
