Love Me Like You Do (Love Me Book 1)

by Jaime Russell

  “Cash and Sarah are on their way here, and I’m scared. I talked to Sarah, and she laid into me. I never thought about what this was doing to him; only myself.” Marshall kisses Patty goodbye, and she casts me a sympathetic look before leaving.

  Marshall clears his throat. “Let’s take a walk, it’s not too cold out for being February.” Max and I agree and Marshall shows us some of his favorite places.

  I breathe in the ocean. “It looks like someone is enjoying the beach,” Marshall comments.

  “When we were in Miami, I loved it. We tried to get there as much as we could. I plan on being there as much as I can when I go back. There’s just something about looking into the ocean—there’s a sense of freedom; peace.” Max’s phone rings.

  He pulls it out of his pocket and answers it. “Hello? Abby, will you shut up, I’m trying to talk. Sorry about that, man, what time do you think that you’ll be rolling in? Yeah, we got you and Sarah rooms. I wasn’t sure if you and Abby would be sharing a room, so I got you the king size bed just in case. Fuck you, man,” he says laughing and hangs up. “They should be here in four hours.”

  “Did he seem in a good mood?”

  “He seems distracted. I’m sure we’ll find out when he gets here.”

  Marshall fills us in on his life here. He seems euphoric and in love. The guys decide to go back to Marshall’s place to play video games. Not wanting to join them, I decide to do some exploring. I hug them and head down the street to wonder around. I find a little dress shop and step inside. A beautiful white beachy dress catches my eye right away. It’s all white with little pink flowers on it that you have to look closely to see. It’s knee length with spaghetti straps. Looking around the store, I spot a beautiful pink shawl. It’d be perfect for a date night with Cash, so I add it to the dress and buy them both. I thank the sales lady and head back to the B and B. I text Max to let him that I’m going to lie down but to get me in a couple of hours so I can shower and get ready for when they get here. I’m starting to get nervous and don’t know where his mindset is. Sarah hasn’t given me a clue even though she’s traveling with him.

  Ellen and Emma are sitting out having some tea when I get back to the B and B. I set my bag down and smile as they pour me a cup of tea. “You look like you had a good day of shopping.”

  “Oh, I did. I found this cute little dress shop a mile down the road. They had my size which is very hard for me to find. My brothers and I ate wonderful restaurant. The atmosphere was just incredible. I grew up working in a diner that my grandparents owned and they passed it down to my parents.”

  “Why the sad face when you mention your parents?”

  I blurt out everything that’s going on with me. Tears flow freely as I let it all out. I’d never talked to Sarah or even Max about how I’m feeling. I tell them about Cash, getting engaged, and the check.

  “Honey, don’t take this wrong but why are you here and Cash is not?” Emma asks me.

  I’m now crying hysterically. “I left the one person who loved me for me and didn’t want something from me but my love. I don’t know how to love. I don’t know how to be Abby. I’ve always been that “diner girl” or “Jack’s spinster daughter”. I left without even thinking about I how hurt him. He’s so mad at, and I need to fix this before I lose him for good.”

  “If it’s meant to be, it will be. You need to believe in yourself. “

  “I don’t know how to do that.” My voice is barely above a whisper. Emma crouches down to her knees in front of me.

  She takes my face in her hands. “You’re not only beautiful on the outside but the inside as well. You have a gentle soul. You need to realize that you are worthy of love. Your parents should be ashamed of themselves for making you feel any different. You deserve to be happy, and if this Cash fellow is the one for you, then you fight like hell to keep him and don’t let him go. You have to prove to him that you won’t run.” She hugs me and lets me cry on her shoulder. She brushes my hair with her hands and rubs my back telling me to cry, let it all out. I wish that Ellen and Emma were my parents because I would have felt normal. After I was done crying, they shooed me upstairs to take a nice long bath to relax. They’d make sure that no one disturbs me until I’m ready to face the music.

  CASH

  I need to call Max to let him know when we’ll arrive. He answers the phone, and my heart aches at the sound of Abby’s laughter. Knowing that she’s having fun while I’m miserable is like a knife to the gut. “Hey, Max. We’re running slightly late.” He tells me he arranged rooms for us and booked a king size bed for me in case Abby, and I make up. “I would love nothing more than that, but I’m afraid that she’ll run. Well, fuck you too! Later, man.” I hang up laughing.

  “What was that about you would want nothing more?” Sarah asks. I explain about the rooms and the king size bed. “Cash, we’ve been driving for a while now, do you know what you want to do? How are you going to handle seeing Abby?”

  “To be honest, I need her to know how I felt. I know she’s dealing with a lot, but I need her to understand that she can’t keep doing shit like this or I’m gone. I can only take so much. I’m human, and I love her more than my life, but if she runs every time she gets scared, then she’ll be on the run for the rest of her life.”

  “Do you think that she’ll keep running? From what Max has told me, she’s been doing a lot of soul searching and reflecting on how she handled this. I think she realizes that she fucked up.”

  “I hope so. She needs to believe that she can lean on us. Sometimes the people that are your blood aren’t your real family. I understand they did some significant damage to her mentally, but it’s time she stands up for herself. She needs to go after what she wants!” I’m starting to get mad. I need to calm myself before I see Abby. I know this talk is going to be emotionally draining. I tell Sarah that I’ll drive the rest of the way. Driving helps calm me. She agrees happily since she wants to take a nap. I put on my tunes and drive towards my future. My eyes land on the ring box. Will I be proposing? I don’t know. I used to think I knew what my life would be like, but right now it is all in Abby’s hands.

  We finally arrive at the B and B. I wake Sarah up, and we head in. I’d called Max, but he wasn’t there yet. He told me that the rooms were in our names so we could just get the keys. We walk up the steps, and I stop. I take a deep breath and inhale the ocean. “You know; I don’t think I could ever tire of that smell. The ocean to me just seems so peaceful, don’t you think, Abby? I mean, Sarah, sorry.”

  “Well, it’s a good thing you’re thinking of Abby.”

  “Sarah, when I think about my life, Abby is there, and I feel complete. I just need some reassurance that she is in it for the long haul.” We walk in, and Sarah rings the bell. A lady comes out and smiles.

  “Hello, do you have a reservation?”

  “Yes, our friend Max said that he had you reserve a couple of rooms for us. I’m Sarah, and this is—”

  “You’re Cash. My, my, Abby didn’t tell me how handsome you were.” I blush and smile. I don’t know what to say. “Here we go, do I need to show you the room or do you want to go up by yourself?” Sarah says that we can find our way. She hands us our keys. “Oh, Abby is getting a bath and resting. She had a bad day, and I told her that she needed to relax.”

  “Is she okay? She isn’t hurt, is she?” The panic is evident in my voice as I wait for the lady to answer.

  “Oh heavens no, she isn’t hurt, but we were talking earlier, and the subject was those awful people she calls parents. She just broke down and cried for a good fifteen minutes.” I feel like a jerk for not being with her, but I’m glad that she had this lady to lean on.

  “Thank you for being here with her. I think I’m going to go up and shower before I see her. I need to settle my nerves as well.” I grab my bag and head up the steps. I shake my head when I arrive at my room and see it’s the honeymoon suite. I’m going to punch Max when I see him. This is pure torture. The bed
has a light blue comforter and is a canopy bed. It’s a beautiful room. I set the bag on the chair and look out the window to see the ocean. I open the window slightly to let the ocean smell come into my room. I walk into the bathroom and found towels on the counter. I get undressed and hop into the shower. The shower is almost as big as mine. There is a Jacuzzi tub that reminds me of the night that Abby and I were together. I close my mind to relive that moment in my head. I feel myself get hard. The effect this woman had on me is enough to drive me mad. I switch the water to cold to calm my raging needs. I’m not going to masturbate knowing Abby is someone in this house. If things go well, she’ll be in my bed, and I’ll come inside her, not my damn hand. The cold shower does the trick. I get out and wrap the towel around my waist and walk out into the room.

  “Wow someone has been working out,” Max say with a laugh. Marshall whistles at me and twirls his finger so I’d spin.

  “You guys are not right. What would have happened if I came out here without a towel on? You would both be jealous of all this.” I start going to where the towel is wrapped loosen it.

  “Okay stop!” Marshall yells as he covers his eyes. I grab a pair of boxers and slide them on under my towel. If they are going to invade my room, then they’re going to watch me dress.

  “So did you figure out what you are going to do about Abby?” Max asks as he lays down on the bed. “Making yourself comfortable are we?” I walk over to my briefcase and pull out the ring and tossed it to Max. “I hope after we talk, that will be on her finger.” Max opens it and shows Marshall.

  “Wow, the man has taste.”

  “I want to be her husband, and the man she leans on. I’m going to fail her at times, but I won’t do it on purpose.”

  “Welcome to the family.” Marshall puts his hand on my shoulder. We chat some more and then I kick them out so I can get ready.

  ABBY

  Emma sends me upstairs to my room to take a nice relaxing bath. She gives me some lavender essential oil to help calm me. I can’t believe how emotionally draining it was talking to Ellen and Emma. I didn’t realize how much I was holding in. When I have children, I’m going to make sure they know that they’re loved and cherished. I have my brothers and sisters to help me and keep me feeling loved. Sarah never made me feel like the fat friend. I sometimes wish I could see myself the way Cash sees me. He makes me feel so beautiful when he describes me. He makes me feel sexy and desirable every time he looks at me. When I think about him, my heart aches to know that I hurt him. How am I going to fix this? I hope I can find a way. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to him. The water is turning cold, and I decide to get out. I drain the tub, wrap a towel around me, and walk into the room. I need to get ready because I know that Cash is going to be here soon for our talk.

  My window is open so that I can listen to the ocean, but I hear the voice that I fell so in love with. Cash and Sarah are talking and what I overhear gives me hope. “Sarah, when I think about my life, Abby is there, and I feel complete. I just need some reassurance that she’s in it for the long haul.” He still wants to be with me, and I just need to figure out how to reassure him that I won’t run. How do I do that? I honestly don’t know. Since I know that they’re here, I message Sarah to come to my room.

  Me: Wanna see me?

  Sarah: Let me freshen up first.

  I dig through my bag from the little shop and found the very sexy lingerie that I bought to put on my new dress. It’s a very cute black lace bra and thong. It’s so soft against my skin, and I can feel my nipples hardening underneath the lace. My body is so full of nerves. I pull out the dress, red strapless dress that ends slightly below the knee. As I slip into the heels that match the dress perfectly, there’s a knock on the door. I walk over to answer it, and I take a deep breath in case it’s Cash. Opening the door, I let out the breath I’d been holding when I see it’s Sarah.

  “Holy shit! You look sexy. I would totally do you if I were into girls. Twirl so I can see you.” Sarah exclaims as I laugh and twirl. “How are you doing? Emma told us that you had an emotional breakdown, and Cash got pretty freaked.”

  “Emma and Ellen have this way of making you talk and getting things out. I told them about my parents and what I did to Cash. They made me believe that I could have a future with him.”

  “You just have to prepare yourself for begging. He’s hurt by what you did, but I think he can forgive and move on. I will tell you this, if you do this again to him, I will choose him over you. He doesn’t deserve this. I love you, but you can’t let your parents hold you back from living your life.” She grabs her ringing phone, mouthing that it’s Max. I’m getting claustrophobic in this room.

  “I think I’m going to go for a walk, I’ll be back in twenty minutes. I just want to calm my nerves.” I hug her and leave. I walk to the beach towards the rocks that I was on earlier. I have a necklace that my dad gave me when I turned ten, after the first time he hit me. He told me that he was sorry and that it would never happen again. Right now, it feels like a collar, one he used to control me. It’s a simple silver chain with my name. When he gave it to me, he made a comment to my mom that I would need a bigger chain because my neck was two sizes bigger than an average person. “You will never control me or my emotions again. I’m Abigail Stephens, and I’m my person.” I took the necklace off and threw it into the ocean. I need to take my life back. There’s clapping behind me, and I spin around. Cash is standing there.

  CASH

  Max keeps talking, but I’m not paying attention. I look out the window and see Abby walking on the beach. She’s beautiful, the lady in red. I pull out a black button up dress shirt and put it on. “Are you even listening to me?” Max sounds annoyed.

  “Nope. I just saw Abby walking on the beach. I want to get this talk over with. You know what to do right, Max?” I grab the ring and my keys to the room and run down the stairs, nearly mowing down Ellen. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention where I was going.” She nods and moves out of the way. I advance towards Abby. I watch her take off the necklace her dad gave her yell. I remember one night when she was in Miami, she was playing with it. She told me that her dad gave her the necklace one Christmas. She thought it was unbelievable that he gave her something so beautiful. She often referred to it as a noose most days. “You will never control me or my emotions again. I’m Abigail Stephens, and I’m my person.” As I clap, I notice that Abby stiffens almost afraid to see who has followed her. She doesn’t move right away, but her head twists to the right side as I see the frown on her face.

  “Cash, what are you doing here? I thought we were meeting later.”

  “I thought so too, but I saw you come out here, and I wanted to get this talk over with so we can see where we go from here.” She looks nervous as she steps off the rocks. I walk over to her with no idea what I’m going to tell her. I know that I can’t let her speak first. She opens her mouth, to say something, and I hold up my hand to stop her.

  “I’ve loved you for what seems like forever. We finally met, expressed our feelings, and became one physically. We’re going to become one emotionally, mentally, and legally if we figure out where we go from here. I didn’t believe in marriage, but you changed that for me. I want it all with you and only you. I didn’t think anything could break us, but that isn’t true because you broke us. I held you all night long, and when I woke the next day, you were gone. I was devastated, crushed, and broken. You broke my heart.” My anger is beginning to take over, tears are starting to form in my eyes, but I need to get this out so we can move on. “You left me. You left me!” I yell as I drop to my knees in the sand. “Abby, did you even think about me? Did you even think about what you’re leaving; you’re running away from me? You just expect me to be okay with you leaving and wanting me to understand, to support you. You only thought of yourself. You’re a selfish child.” The look in her face crushes me. She starts to cry, and that further incites my anger. “NO! You don’t get to cry. Yo
u don’t get to play the victim in this. Do you even want to be with me?” She stands there with tears running down her face as she nods. “You say that you need me, want me, and love me but the minute you saw that check you left without even talking to me. I hope you know that I would never choose money over you. Hell, I even told you that I would leave the hotel if you wanted me to move to Pennsylvania with you. If you want a relationship with me, then you need to fight for me. I can’t fight for us if you are not in this one hundred percent. You need to prove it to me that you want this as much as I do.” I finish and give her my back. I need to walk away before I give in and not let her show me she wants this.

  “CASH! WAIT!” Abby yells. I turn around, and she’s on her knees crying. “Marry me.” I stop and walk back to her.

  “I’m sorry what did you say?”

  “I said marry me. Cash, I left you. I got scared. I’ve been using my parents as a reason to stop living. I’m tired of not going after what I want. I’ve loved you from the first time I heard you same my name on Ventrilo. I don’t want another minute to go by without you in my life. I need you. You need me. I love you. You love me. Marry me.” I look at her, shocked. I didn’t expect that from her. Max is setting up my room with candles and roses, so I can propose to her again.

  “Marriage isn’t going to solve you running from me. What’s going to stop you from leaving me when we have a fight? When we have kids, and we disagree are you going to take the kids from me or leave them? Abby, you need to give me some idea that you’re going to be there the next day. I can’t live like this. I can’t live on eggshells. I’m going to yell at you, and you’re going to yell at me. We’re not going to be the happy, lovey -dovey couple all the time. We’re going to struggle just like every other couple, but I need to know that you’re all in.”