Theme-Thology: Invasion

by Inc. HDWP

  2

  The phone rings as Rachel steps out of the shower. Running to answer it, she slips on the tile floor and slides into the bathroom door, cutting her knee. Gritting her teeth, she stands, puts on her slippers, and grabs a towel. Blood drips on the floor. She limps to the hotel bed and props her foot on a pillow. She wipes the gash with a corner of her towel.

  “Yes?”

  “Good morning, Ms. Fenster. This is your wake up call.”

  “Thank you. Could you send up a couple bandages?” She bends her knee and frowns, running her finger over the skin. “Never mind about the bandages. Ha!” She jumps off the bed, and her towel falls to the floor. “Barely a scrape,” she mutters. “And I feel… I feel… ” She wanders to the mirror and admires her naked body. “I feel sexy.” Raising her arms in a stretch, she leaps to the window and flings open the curtains.

  The phone rings again, and she jumps, covering her breasts with her arms. Rachel hurries to the closet, puts on a robe, sits on the bed.

  “This is Rachel Fenster.”

  “Hey Rach! It’s Mona. I hear you finally made it to the east coast.”

  “Mona! I’ve been meaning to call you. Are we still on for this weekend?”

  “You bet. I saw somebody reading your book on the train. So you’re famous now?”

  Rachel laughs. “Well, my book is. I’m just along for the ride. You wanna come to my lecture tonight?”

  “Sure. I’ve got a two-hour gig at the Big Blue Eel at five, but I’m tight with the manager, and I can slip out early.”

  “Interpretive dance?”

  “Body painting.”

  “Er… painting with your body?”

  “Painting other peoples’ bodies with glow-in-the-dark body paint. It’s part of a social experiment for singles. The people strip down to their skivvies and tell me what message they want painted on their bodies, and I paint it for them. It’s like an ad. Then they go about their business in the club. They can dance, drink, have a good time. Takes the pressure off. People are allowed to stare at each other’s bodies without saying anything.”

  “Sounds illuminating. Maybe I’ll try it.” Rachel stands in front of the mirror and lets her robe fall open.

  Mona laughs. “You? Ms. Bleach Bottom?”

  “Very funny.” Rachel pulls her robe closed and ties it. “That only happened once, in college. And I really thought the bleach would get rid of that rash.”

  “And did it?”

  “It was a birthmark.”

  Mona snorts. “The day you let me paint your body will be the day I dye my hair blue.”

  “You have a deal. Don’t forget to pick up your tickets – I heard they’ve hired extra security to keep out gate crashers. So there’ll be two tickets waiting for you, in case you want to bring a friend. My lecture starts at seven.”

  “Aw, Rach, you know how I feel about tickets. They’re for the masses.”

  “Use the tickets, and drinks are on me.”

  “Deal! I’ll see you tonight.”

  Rachel quickly dresses, grabs her purse, and runs to the elevator. Inside, she pushes the lobby button, then jumps back out before the doors close. She races down seven flights of stairs to the continental breakfast room. Giggling, she looks over her shoulder at the elevator doors opening to an empty compartment.

  A TV suspended on a wall joist hums the local news. Across the room, a hotel attendant is filling the coffee machine. She turns to face Rachel and smiles. “Good morning, Ms. Fenster. Care for some breakfast?”

  “No thank you, I’m on a strict… ” Rachel’s eyes sweep over the rows of pastries, sugared cereals, pancakes, and waffles. “I mean yes, I’m ravenous.”

  “The coffee will be ready in a minute, but go ahead and help yourself to whatever you’d like. Let me know if you need any help with the pancake or waffle maker.”

  Rachel grabs a plate and loads it with donuts, turnovers, and Danishes. She sits at a table and stares open-mouthed at her food. The coffee machine sputters, and she jumps. A couple of hotel guests wander into the dining area. They smile and nod at Rachel, pour some coffee, and sit at a table next to hers.

  “Mind if we turn up the news, Miss?” one of the men says, smiling. “Wanna check the weather today.”

  “Quite alright.” Rachel nods. After pouring herself some coffee, Rachel sits back down, pinches a glob of frosting from a turnover, and touches it to her tongue. She closes her mouth and moans in pleasure. The men turn to look at Rachel.

  “You okay, Miss?”

  “Yes. Just a little bug, that’s all.” She blushes and clutches her stomach.

  The men nod and continue watching the weather report. Rachel takes a bite of the turnover and shivers. She quickly devours the food on her plate between gasps. She leans back in her chair, lets out a long sigh, and closes her eyes. Her arms fall at her sides.

  “Uh… Miss? You alright?”

  She opens her eyes. “I’m rrrr-obust,” she says, arching her back and jutting out her chest. “Ro-bust Rachel, randy-dandy ta meetcha!” She thrusts out her hand.

  The men quickly look back to the local weather report.

  Rachel covers her face with her hands. “I mean… excuse me. I didn’t mean… ” Rachel peaks though her fingers. She opens and closes the gap between her middle and ring fingers. “Live long and prosper, live long and prosper… ” she chants. A couple more hotel guests wander in. Rachel giggles. “Coffee. I need coffee.”

  Rachel sips her coffee and watches the news: a blurb about her health and longevity speech at the convention center tonight. The men at the next table slowly look over their shoulders, then back at the news. “Yes,” Rachel mutters, “that’s me. The nation’s health and wellness guru, pigging out on pastries.” She opens her purse and pulls out a supplement pack. “Another day, another dozen pills.” She rips open the pack and the pills spill to the floor. Rachel shrugs. She jumps up, grabs her plate, and fills it with more pastries. Hunched in her chair, she rocks side-to-side while shoving her food into her mouth and grinding the pills into the carpet with her shoes. At last satiated, she wipes her mouth with her hand, smearing the remains of her lipstick. After nodding at the men, she steps into the lobby restroom to re-apply her makeup. Rachel gasps at her reflection – a black ring of smudged mascara around each eye, and crimson smears of lipstick from the corners of her mouth to her ears. She scrubs her face clean and stares at her reflection, blinking hard. She presses a button on her cell phone.

  “Terrill, it’s Rachel. I think I’m having side effects from the injection. I think it’s making me do things. I’m scared. I need to see you right away. I need a physical and cognitive examination. Please.”

  “Okay, Rachel. Calm down. You think you’re exhibiting odd behavior?” Terrill pulls a cigarette from its pack.

  “Yes! Very odd. I can’t seem to stop myself.”

  “Could you be more specific?” He lights up.

  “I just ate two plates of pasties. I mean tasties. Pas-tries. And I-I flirted… I mean really flirted.” She blinks at her reflection in the mirror. “I uh… skipped my supplements. They’re on the floor. Something’s happening to me.” She rubs her forehead.

  “Of course something’s happening to you. You had a Nano-Infix injection last night. The nanobots are repairing and maintaining your body.” Terrill holds his phone away from his face and takes a long, deep drag.

  “But what about the pastries? I ate pastries! I don’t eat pastries, Terrill, you know that.”

  “Seriously? A few pastries won’t do you any harm, Rachel. Especially not now, with the nanobots protecting you.” He pulls another cigarette out and lights it with the first one.

  “Terrill, please. I feel weird. Could you at least check my stats?”

  “Sure. Are you still in Hartford?” he says, a cigarette dangling from each corner of his mouth.

  “Yes. At my hotel.”

  “Well, I’m in Atlantic City now. I was going to surprise you tonight at your
lecture.” Terrill chuckles. “Oh well. Can you meet me at Fralinger's on the boardwalk? I’ve been craving salt water taffy ever since I got here.”

  “Yes. It’s a four-hour drive from Hartford to Atlantic City. It’s eight o’clock now. So I’ll meet you at noon.”

  3

  Rachel strolls barefoot along the boardwalk and looks out to the sea. She walks a wide circle around the passers-by with cameras, and avoids eye contact with the men. Every few minutes she checks the time on her cell phone and leans over the railing to inhale the cool salt air. She curls her toes over the edge of a board and grips. The wood creaks and fractures, sending a huge splinter deep into her toe. Rachel giggles. Finally, at twenty minutes to noon, she makes her way to Fralinger’s salt water taffy shop.

  “Terrill! Thank you for meeting me.” As she embraces Terrill, she inhales deeply, smelling the smoke on his shirt and the sweat on his neck. Closing her eyes, she relaxes, opens her mouth, and the tip of her tongue pokes between her lips and wiggles. She quickly steps back, pushing away from Terrill.

  “You’re welcome,” he says. “Are you okay? You seem startled.”

  She turns away, blushing. “Just a little jittery from the drive over,” she leans forward to look at the taffy, fudge, and mints behind the glass display.

  “Do you have tonight’s speech all figured out?”

  “Mostly. I just need to decide how I’m going to end it – wellness and longevity for the future, and how to get there.”

  “May I help you Miss?” the server says.

  “Their peppermint taffy is out of this world,” Terrill says, peering over Rachel’s shoulder. “I got here early, so I started with that. Then I went with the spearmint. Out of this galaxy. Now I’m having the wintermint – the winner in the multiverse competition.” Terrill laughs, and points to a table piled with taffy wrappers. “It’s a mint theme.” He pops a mint taffy in his mouth. “I’m thinking of a fruit theme next.”

  “Do you have a variety box?” Rachel licks her lips. “Some of each?”

  “Sure do. What size would-”

  “The biggest one,” Rachel interrupts.

  A few other customers walk through the door, and Terrill and Rachel sit at the table.

  “Once ya get some taffy in ya, you’ll be better than new,” he says, winking. “Say, that sounds like a great tagline for my Nano-Infix: Once ya get some nano in ya, you’ll be better than new. I’ll be thrilled if you’d mention that during your speech tonight, Rachel.” He squeezes her hand.

  “But I’m less than twenty-four hours into your nano test. And I have some concerns. You want me to endorse your injections after one day?

  “Up to you.” He shrugs. “So how did you sleep last night?” He pops another taffy in his mouth.

  “I slept great. I even woke up early, without my alarm clock.”

  “And your energy level?”

  “Extremely elevated.”

  “Cognition?”

  “Crystal clear.”

  He leans forward on his elbows. “So what’s your concern?”

  “It’s my personality.” She squeezes her eyes shut. “I feel like I’m swinging back and forth between my old, safe personality and a new, daredevil personality.”

  The clerk walks up to the table and places a large box of taffy in front of Rachel. She opens her eyes wide, and lets out a muffled giggle.

  Terrill holds up a finger. “Put it on my tab, please.”

  “Yes, sir. Anything else?”

  “I’ll take one of what she’s having. Er, make it two.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Rachel slowly unwraps a taffy and sniffs it. Her eyes flutter closed. “Root beer. It’s been so long.” She eats it and grabs another. “So as I was saying, when I’m my old self, I’m afraid of switching to my new self. And when I’m my new self, I couldn’t care less about my old self. I do things that aren’t safe, and… I seem to get a kick out of it. A rush.”

  “That sounds like a good thing.”

  “Well, yes, but this new personality is so unlike me.” She eats another taffy.

  “You don’t seem all that different to me, Rachel. A bit more relaxed and happy, but you still seem like you.”

  Rachel shakes her head. “I sped on the way over here.” She frowns. “I broke the speed limit. Every time I realized I was speeding, I eased up on the gas, but I kept finding myself up over eighty miles per hour. A couple times I got over 100.” She gazes out the window and smiles. “It felt so natural. So right.” She grabs another taffy. “But that behavior could’ve killed me. I thought the nanobots were supposed to be safeguarding me.” She shoves the taffy in her mouth. “And what the hell am I doing eating this taffy? I’ve had nothing but sugar today! Rachel Fenster, health and wellness expert, on a new sugar diet!”

  “But how do you feel?” Terrill gently taps Rachel’s hand.

  She purses her lips. “I feel… better than I ever thought possible.” She grins.

  “Yes, and your life will continue to get better.”

  “But-but… ” She shakes her head. “The dangerous behavior – I’m still afraid… I think. I-I’m confused.”

  “You’re simply transitioning through the Nano-Infix adjustment period.” Terrill pats her hand. “The fear and confusion will pass.”

  “How do you know?”

  “The rats. I observed it in the rats.” He strokes her hand with his finger. “So what do you say? ‘Once ya get some nano in ya, you’ll be better than new?’ Your fans need to hear that. I know you won’t let them down, Rachel.”

  She leans back and furrows her brow. “Of course I won’t let them down.” She tilts her head, and her eyes trail over the mound of wrappers. “That would be… irresponsible.” Rachel runs her tongue over her teeth. “I’ve always been responsible.” She frowns and smacks her lips. “But it seems like I’m forgetting something.”

  “The tagline is: Once ya get some nano in-”

  “My teeth!” Rachel covers her mouth. I left my WaterPik at the hotel – I left all my hygiene supplies there. I didn’t forget them, I just left them. I don’t know why. But I need to get this sugar off my teeth.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “My teeth are coated with plaque acids!”

  “No, they aren’t. What do you taste, Rachel?”

  “Now? Nothing.”

  “The nanobots are integrated throughout your entire body now, millions of them. Even in your saliva. They clean your teeth and your entire mouth as you eat. No scrubbing or flossing is required.”

  She runs her finger over her teeth. “You’ve seen this in the rats?”

  “Yes. The rats. Now what’s that tagline, again?”

  Rachel holds her finger up in a shaft of sunlight and squints at her saliva-moistened skin. “Once ya get some nano in ya, you’ll be better than new.”

  “You have your speech all figured out, don’t you?”

  “Of course,” she says, popping another taffy in her mouth.

  4

  The sold-out audience of the convention center gives a standing ovation. Rachel grins from the center stage and bows. She motions to Terrill in the front row, and he climbs the stage steps and stands beside her. He waves to the audience, then grabs her hand. She raises his hand in a show of victory. They embrace, then walk off the stage and make their way to the reception hall. The stage lights dim, the house lights brighten, and the audience begins to filter out. Copies of Strategies for Wellness and Longevity are piled high on a table next to the bar. Standing between the bar and the table, Terrill leans toward Rachel. “You’re in peak form, Rachel,” he says. “You just helped advance humanity forward immeasurably. I’m so proud of you.”

  “You did all the work, I simply delivered the message.” She winks.

  A throng of attendees swarms the couple, and they pose for photos, shake hands, and sign autographs. As Rachel’s fans purchase her book, Terrill slips a Nano-Infix insert inside each cover.

  Mona g
lares at them from the far corner of the room. She weaves around the crowd until she is standing right behind a tall, portly man texting on his cell phone. Now only a couple feet away, Mona eavesdrops on Rachel and Terrill.

  “Yes, the injections are 100 percent safe and effective.”

  “Absolutely no negative side effects.”

  “Yes, Nano-Infix is 100 percent free to the public as a service to humanity.”

  “You might feel a bit randy!”

  Mona grabs a drink, downs it, and cracks her knuckles. She unsnaps the first three snaps on her body shirt, and unsnaps the last three snaps on her miniskirt.

  “Well, hello Dr. Terrill! Long time no see!”

  Terrill spins around and faces her. Mona beams up at the doctor. “You look absolutely incredible… ” She wolf whistles. “Don’t tell me you didn’t shoot yourself up with that infix.” She winks.

  “Mona!” Terrill almost drops his drink. “I can’t believe it’s you! And you dyed your hair blue?”

  “Aqua.”

  Terrill laughs and covers his mouth. “How long has it been?”

  “Since ‘The Art of the State of the Art’ conference five years ago.”

  Terrill gives his drink to Rachel and wraps his arms around Mona, kissing her on the cheek. “Too long, Mona, too long.”

  She quickly slips one hand around his back, the other hand into his jacket pocket, and rubs her chest against his.

  “Oh, Mona, I’ve missed you,” he whispers in her ear.

  “Well, gotta go,” she says, bending her knees and dropping out of his embrace. “I promised my manager I’d put in an extra hour tonight at the Eel. Body paint can’t wait.” She turns to Rachel and shakes her hand. “Great job, Rach. For my full review of your… performance tonight, meet me at the Eel.” She spins around and marches out of the hall.

  A couple hundred Nano-Infix recommendations later, Rachel excuses herself from the reception, says good-bye to Terrill, and takes a taxi to the Big Blue Eel. Inside, the techno-bass pounds and the strobes flash. She weaves through the crowd of half-naked dancers, drinkers, and gawkers. In the back of the club, she sees Mona finishing up the last touches of body paint on a topless woman wearing a blue wig and a pair of sweatpants. Across her breasts, the message: “Where’s your ID?”