Surrender

by HELEN HARDT

  “For showing me something new. For wanting to experience this with me.”

  “You’re so amazing,” he said. “There’s no one in the world like you.”

  I couldn’t help a chuckle at that. “Girls like me are a dime a dozen.”

  He pulled my face toward him and gazed straight into my eyes. “You’re wrong, Melanie. There is no one else in the world like you. You are worth everything to me.”

  I saw the truth of his words in his eyes. And I hoped he saw the truth of them back in my own.

  I leaned toward him and brushed my lips across his. He was salty from sweat. Both of us were coated in shiny dew. I let out a little chuckle. “I think we’re kind of a mess.”

  He laughed with me. “But a good mess. A very good mess.” He stroked my damp hair. “Let’s clean up a little, and then I think we need a date in the hot tub.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes. You might have some soreness, and it will help.”

  “All right. If you think it’s for the best. As long as you promise no one will walk in on us.”

  That got a big laugh out of Jonah. “Now why on earth would you think that might happen again?”

  “Can you name a time when it hasn’t happened?”

  “No. But this bad luck streak has to break sometime.”

  * * *

  Jonah had poured us each a glass of water with lemon, and we sat in the hot tub, holding hands. I leaned my head back against the railing and closed my eyes, inhaling the steam rising above us.

  I opened my eyes and found him staring at me. “What?” I said.

  “Just enjoying the view.” He smiled and then took a sip of his water.

  I moved toward him, to snuggle into his arms, when—

  “Joe?”

  The voice came from the deck. I hadn’t heard the door open.

  I let out a maniacal laugh. At this point, it had become more humorous than embarrassing. Talon, Jade, and Jonah’s friend Bryce had all seen me naked.

  Jonah turned. “Bryce? What are you doing here?”

  “I’m really sorry to interrupt you.”

  “It’s all right,” I said, still giggling.

  “What is it?” Jonah asked.

  “I told my mother tonight, Joe. It didn’t go well.”

  Chapter Forty–Two

  Jonah

  I sighed. “Bryce, I’m sorry, man. Can we talk later?”

  Melanie stepped out of the hot tub, smiling and not seeming embarrassed. She wrapped herself in a towel. “It’s all right. Talk to him. He clearly needs you.”

  She was so damned wonderful.

  “I’m going to take a shower,” she continued.

  “Actually,” Bryce said. “I’d love it if you would stay. I need some…psychological advice.”

  She smiled again. “I’ll be right out. Just let me rinse off. Why don’t the two of you have a drink in the family room?”

  I got out of the tub, wrapped a towel around myself, and nodded to Bryce. “Let me get some sweats on. Fix us a couple of drinks. I’ll only be a minute.” I headed into the house and to my bedroom, dried off, and put on some sweats and a T-shirt. I went to the family room. Bryce had pulled a beer out of the bar fridge for himself and was mixing up a CapRock martini for me. Good man.

  Bryce was a mess. His silver-blond hair was in disarray, and his flannel western shirt was half untucked. Not that he was into extreme grooming, but he was usually not this unkempt.

  “I had to take my mom into the city to see her sister. You know, Luke’s mom. She wanted to tell my Aunt Vickie what had gone on, my father’s role in Luke’s murder.” He shook his head. “When we got there, she couldn’t even talk, man. I had to take her to the hospital. Aunt Vickie still doesn’t know anything, and she’s worried sick now about Mom. I brought Henry home so he could sleep in his own crib.”

  “Who’s with him now?”

  “Your sister.”

  “Really?” Marj had never been the babysitting type.

  “Yeah. I ran into her at the grocery store when I got back from the city. Henry was out of formula. I told her I needed to talk to you, and she offered to watch Henry for me.”

  “She knows everything.”

  “Yeah. I figured she did.” He attempted a smile. “Henry took to her right away. I’m sure they’re doing fine. He’s probably in bed by now.”

  “Why don’t you text her and check on him? That way we can talk free of worries.”

  “Good idea.” Bryce got his phone.

  I took a sip of my martini while he was texting. Poor Bryce. Although I was unsure about my own father’s involvement in this whole mess, at least I was pretty sure he wasn’t as messed up as the other three. The worst he had done so far was befriend a group of degenerates in high school, possibly impregnate a mistress, and sweep his son’s abduction and torture under the rug. Not good stuff by any means, but Bryce’s father was a child molester, rapist, and murderer.

  Damn.

  Bryce put his phone away and took a drink of his beer. “Henry’s good. Marjorie says he went right to sleep after she fed him.”

  I guess I didn’t know everything about my baby sister. She’d never struck me as the motherly type.

  “Good,” I said. “So tell me about Evelyn.”

  “I hated doing this to her, Joe. It about killed me. Every time I have to think about it, say the words, I die a little bit more all over again. And telling my mother, the woman who raised me, that her husband is… What is he, anyway? What kind of words are there for the man who is my father?”

  “I don’t know.” I shook my head, swirling my martini glass on the wooden bar. “I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I just don’t.”

  “I worry, man. I worry what the fuck is in my own DNA. The bastard fathered me.”

  “Oh. Now I know why you want Melanie to be in on this conversation.”

  Bryce nodded. “I’m afraid. What the hell is running through my veins, and what the hell have I passed on to my son?”

  I nodded. “I’ve had the same thoughts, like I told you. Look at what I got on my mother’s side. She was unstable, and her half brother is as fucked up as your father. And I still don’t know about my own father’s involvement in all this.”

  Bryce looked up. “Here she comes.”

  Melanie was walking down the stairs and into the family room, wearing a pair of old jeans and a tank top, no bra. Her feet were bare, and her red painted toes sank into the plush carpeting.

  “Hey, baby,” I said. “Bryce is bartending. What’ll you have?”

  “Just tonic water with a twist. I don’t feel like drinking.”

  Bryce got her drink and slid it across the bar to her.

  “I wish I knew what to say to you,” she said to Bryce. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t care that you saw me naked.”

  That got a soft chuckle out of my friend. “Seeing you naked is no hardship, Doctor.”

  “I think you’ve seen enough of me that we can be on a first name basis.”

  “Bryce has some questions for you, Melanie.”

  “Of course. What can I help you with?” She took a sip of her tonic water.

  “This is hard for me to get into.”

  “I understand. Any time you’re discussing your psyche, it’s always hard. But I’m a professional. I’ll answer any questions to the best of my ability.”

  He smiled. “I feel like I should be paying you.”

  “Let’s just call it a favor between friends.”

  “Well, you know all about my dad.”

  She nodded.

  “I worry. I’m worried because I have his DNA. My son has his DNA. Obviously, I don’t want either one of us to turn out the way he did.”

  “That’s totally understandable,” Melanie said. “But you’re Jonah’s age, right? Thirty-eight?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’ve come this far in life without having any problems. No one is perfect. And while research has sh
own that, yes, psychopathy can be genetic, other factors are also at play, such as environment.”

  “That’s another thing I just don’t get. I knew my grandparents. As far as I could tell, they were decent people. How could they have raised my father to be who he is?”

  “Again, there are no straight answers here, Bryce. I wish I could tell you for sure that genetics play no role, but there just isn’t any research to back that up. I can say this, though. Your genes do not define who you are. Your actions and choices do.”

  “She’s fucking brilliant, isn’t she?” I said.

  Bryce smiled. “I try to make good choices. Especially now, for Henry’s sake.”

  “Then there’s no reason to believe your personality will ever change. Look at Talon, for example. If any man in the world had reason to become a psychopath, it’s him. But even before he started healing, he never had any tendencies in that direction. And he comes from the same gene pool Jonah comes from, and their mother and their uncle were both a mess.”

  “A mess.” I couldn’t help a smile. “Is that a psychiatric term?”

  Melanie chuckled. “You know what I mean.”

  “Still,” Bryce said. “It’s freaking me out. How could I have lived with my father my entire childhood, and some of my adult life, and not seen who he was?”

  “I know it’s hard for you to understand. It’s hard for anyone to understand,” Melanie said. “But your father is hardly the first person to lead a double life. It happens more frequently than you would think.”

  “I know that, but this isn’t just any double life. This isn’t a guy who has two wives and neither of them knows. This is a guy who had a wife and kid, was an upstanding member of his community…but was also a child molester and murderer. It’s incomprehensible to me.”

  “I think you have your answer right there,” Melanie said. “It should be incomprehensible to you. The fact that it is means you will never follow in your father’s footsteps. You make your own choices, Bryce, no matter what your genes say. We all do. I understand that these words probably don’t make you feel any better right now, but they will. Just trust yourself. You’re a good man, a good father. You won’t screw up.”

  “I sure don’t want to. Henry’s the most important thing in my life. But my mother…”

  “Yes,” Melanie said. “This will be especially hard on her.”

  “She has relied on him her whole life. They married young, and she’s never worked outside the home. What is she supposed to do now?”

  “She may need some help. She may need your help.”

  “Of course, I would do anything for her, but I don’t even have a job yet myself. And I’ve got Henry to think of.”

  “Is your parents’ mortgage paid off?”

  “Yeah, I think so.”

  “Good. Your mother has a house. Your father, once he is caught, will be going to prison for the rest of his life.”

  “I’ll find some work, maybe open a business in town. My mother won’t want for money. That’s not really my biggest concern. Right now, she’s a mess. She just found out that her husband killed her nephew, her sister’s son. And God knows how many other people he killed or hurt. She went to her sister’s house, but she couldn’t tell her the truth. I had to take her to the hospital.”

  “I’m so sorry. I’ll go to the city and see her if you’d like.”

  “I would appreciate that.”

  “I’m currently on a leave of absence from practicing, but I’ll be happy to visit with her.”

  “She doesn’t deserve this.” Bryce shook his head.

  “No, she doesn’t,” Melanie said. “And neither do you. Neither does Talon, or Jonah, or any of us. But we’re all involved in this up to our necks at this point. We may never uncover the entire truth, but we’re certainly looking.”

  “I should go,” Bryce said, finishing his beer. “Henry needs me. And I need him.”

  “Children have a way of keeping things in perspective,” Melanie said. “When you’re feeling like you can’t take it anymore, when you think your life is going down one big hole, look at your son. Look at that miracle. That will bring you back.”

  I stared at Melanie, her green eyes as beautiful as ever. How did she get to be so wise? It wasn’t just a psychiatric education. She had wisdom beyond her years.

  “Thanks.” Bryce stood and held out his hand to Melanie.

  She stood, took his hand, and then pulled him into a hug. “It will be all right. Not today and not tomorrow, not even next year maybe. But you will get through this.”

  We walked Bryce to the door and said good-bye.

  “I’m going to let Lucy in,” I said, “and then, Melanie, let’s go to bed. I’m fucking exhausted.”

  She smiled. “You read my mind.”

  After Lucy came in, getting pets from both of us, I turned back to Melanie. “I love what you said about Henry. About how a child puts everything in perspective. I’m not a father, and I never thought I wanted to be one, but now, knowing you, having seen what my brother was able to get through, I think I do want to be a father. I really do.”

  Melanie pulled me down for a quick kiss. “I’m so glad to hear you say that, Jonah, because there’s something we need to discuss.”

  Chapter Forty–Three

  Melanie

  “What?” he asked.

  I looked down. My breasts were tender, more tender than normal. Granted, Jonah had been particularly affectionate with them, but they were tender inside. And when I had gone to take my birth control pill this evening after my shower, something occurred to me.

  My period should’ve started a day or two ago.

  This wasn’t overly unusual for me, even on the pill. I would go a day or two off schedule every once in a while, but something came to me that hadn’t previously. And as I was a physician, it should have, except that my mind had been understandably occupied with other things.

  “You know I’m on birth control pills,” I said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Well…if you don’t take your pill at the same time every day, or if you miss a day or two, the chances of pregnancy go way up.”

  “Melanie?”

  “Those days I was gone, when I was abducted, I didn’t have my pills.”

  “You mean…”

  “I’m a little late. Now this may not mean anything—”

  He pulled me to him and crushed his lips to mine.

  I opened for him instantly, our tongues twirling in a ferocious yet meaningful kiss. When we finally broke away from each other and inhaled, he cupped my cheek.

  “Wow. Just wow.”

  “I’m not sure yet. I’m sorry this didn’t occur to me before. I’m a doctor, for God’s sake. But there’s been so much going on…”

  “Baby, this is the best news ever. No wonder you wanted tonic water tonight.”

  I smiled. “I actually had a few drinks before this occurred to me, but not enough to matter, and I won’t drink again. And it’s not really any news yet. I’ll go into town tomorrow and get a pregnancy test. Then we’ll know for sure.”

  “The test will be positive. I already know it. All this time, all this new information, not knowing who my father really was… It’s all taken its toll. Sometimes I’ve wondered how we’d get through it all. But now everything is okay. I know everything will be okay.”

  “Jonah, everything’s going to be okay anyway. Look at how much Talon has healed. And now Bryce… We’re going through a tough time, but we will be okay.”

  “I know. I know we would’ve been okay no matter what. But now… A baby. I see the way Bryce looks at Henry. I want that, Melanie, and I want it with you.”

  I let out a sigh. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that. I was worried about what you might think. That you’d think I subconsciously trapped you because I didn’t think about the pills I had missed.”

  “I would never think that. And it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m happy about the news.”r />
  “We have to take a test to be sure. And even then, Jonah, I’m not a young woman. Things can go wrong at my age. I’ll have a lot of tests and probably an amniocentesis. I’ll be considered high risk just because of my age.”

  “Then you will have the best care money can buy. We’ll make sure all the risks are taken care of.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck. How I truly hoped the test would be positive tomorrow. Because right now, I wanted to have Jonah’s child more than I wanted my next breath of air.

  “I’m so glad you’re happy about this.”

  “How could I not be? A baby with you. It will be the most beautiful, wonderful baby in the world.”

  “So you won’t worry about your genetics?”

  “My genetics are my genetics. All I know is that we will give any baby of ours a wonderful, happy home.”

  I felt a vibration.

  Jonah reached for his phone in his back pocket. “It’s a text. Talon. He wants us to come to breakfast tomorrow. Says he has some great news.”

  “Great news is always good,” I said. “Maybe they got more information from Mills and Johnson.”

  “I hope so. We need to finally put this thing to rest.”

  “Remember,” I said. “We control our own lives. Whether we ever find out the real truth, we can have a beautiful life.”

  He took my hand and led me to the bedroom.

  * * *

  When we arrived at Talon’s house the next morning, I was surprised to see Marjorie holding an adorable child with blond hair and blue eyes.

  “Marj, anything you want to tell us?” Jonah said.

  She laughed. “I volunteered to take Henry for the day. Bryce wanted to go to the city to see his mother.”

  “Never thought I’d see you holding a baby like that,” Jonah said.

  “He’s such a good little guy. He’s going to be walking before we know it.”

  “Where’s Ryan?” I asked.

  “He’s running late. Told us to start without him,” Talon said.

  “Well, then,” Jonah said. “What’s the news that can’t wait?”