The Saxon Bride (The Norman Conquest Series)

by York, Ashley

  Picking up her brush, Rowena could see quite a bit of her hair had come out. What was wrong with her? Her normally thick hair felt thin and scraggly. Was she pining away? She didn't feel like she was. True, she wished her husband would come back but the time they'd spent together had left her happy. Even cherished. She just wanted him to return to her.

  "My lady!" Joan's voice preceded her flinging open Rowena's bedchamber door. "My lady!"

  "What is amiss?" Rowena held her breath as she stepped toward her. "You look as if you've seen a ghost!"

  On a whisper, Joan found no additional information much to Rowena's irritation. "My lady!" Shaking her head in disbelief, she stepped out of the door just as a tall woman would have pushed her aside.

  "So you're the wife my lover is saddled with."

  Rowena was unable to exhale the gasp that had been sucked into her belly. Her eyes bulged as she tried to process what the woman had said. She couldn't possibly have heard her right. Like a tempest, the woman stormed into Rowena's private chambers as if she'd every right to be there. Her disdainful gaze did not miss a thing as she looked around the room. "I'm a little surprised he has stayed away from me this long."

  Joan's mouth gaped open in disbelief as she looked from the regal woman with the black hair and green eyes and back to Rowena. The petrified look on her servant's face finally broke the spell.

  "And who are you, pray tell?" Rowena stood a little taller as she addressed the woman who seemed to tower over her.

  The woman blinked as if discerning whether Rowena truly had the audacity to speak directly to her.

  "No. Better you tell me." She paused, no doubt for effect, assessing Rowena from head to toe, finally lifting the corner of her lip and raising one eyebrow. "Are you 'the wife'?"

  "Joan, get the guards and remove this woman from my chambers." She gave the orders through clenched teeth.

  Joan fled to do her bidding. Rowena's pulse quickened and her fury kicked in. Such behavior was totally unacceptable from anyone, but to have a woman claiming to be her husband's lover invade her bedchamber and speak to her as if she were of no importance at all was outrageous.

  Out of nowhere, Rowena was hit with a tremendous wave of nausea. Horrified, she realized this stranger would be a witness to her illness if she remained.

  "Oh, ho, ho. A temper have you?" The woman moved in closer to Rowena, looking down her long nose as she spoke. "Your temper will not match mine, little girl."

  Despite the pretty hair and eyes, the woman reeked of dead fish and flowers which increased Rowena's nausea. The bile accumulating at the back of her throat made her force her hand.

  "How dare you speak to me so." Swallowing as hard as she could, she continued. "You have come into my room unbidden, and you will leave immediately or the guards will be happy to escort you to the bowels of the castle for your display of disrespect."

  The woman did not back down. Instead, she stared at Rowena as if she had two heads. Rowena tipped her chin up and tried to stare her down but she caught a whiff of the fish again. It was her undoing. Lurching back toward the bed, Rowena barely made it to the chamber pot before vomiting.

  Rowena was at her most vulnerable while this stranger looked on. This stranger who said she was John's lover. This stranger who acted like she owned John. This stranger who acted like Rowena was something that crawled out from under a rock. This was the woman who got to watch as all her stomach contents came gushing up.

  Her humiliation grew and the vomiting continued. Just when she believed she was done, she heard Joan return with the guards. Being otherwise occupied, she wished to be anywhere but retching in front of this woman.

  "Well, get her out of here!" Joan sounded incredulous. "She came up here without invitation. Remove her!" The guards were clearly intimidated by the woman's demeanor, imperious as she was, and seemed reluctant to just grab her and drag her out.

  The contents of her stomach emptied, Rowena leaned slightly against her table in time to see Joan roll her eyes in disgust at the guards who just stood there. Fighting for enough composure to end her embarrassment, Rowena's knees wobbled beneath her dressing gown.

  "Joan speaks for me." The guards immediately made to remove the woman who backed away, pulling her arm out of their reach.

  "Are you sure you aren't even a little curious about who I am?" She addressed Rowena but her eyes were on the guards.

  Rowena wiped her hand across her mouth. She felt surprisingly better but needed to lie down.

  "Not in the least. Remove her."

  Inching her way back to her bed, Rowena was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

  The room was brightly lit when Rowena awoke from her nap later that morning. Lying on her stomach, she assessed how she felt. Much better. The smell of the oatmeal caused her empty stomach to growl in answer. She started to turn onto her back when she noticed the tingling in her breasts. She had noticed they seemed fuller than usual and now they were even sensitive to her touch.

  "My lady?" Joan's voice was very quiet but Rowena decided to face the woman rather than to feign sleep.

  "I am awake."

  "Oh, good. My lady, whatever shall we do?" Joan's face was pinched with worry, her eyes red and puffy. Rowena could not remember why that would be or what they needed to decide about.

  "You are so melodramatic." Sitting up in her bed, she reached toward the bowl which Joan handed to her. Her first bite of oatmeal was warm and sweet with raisins, very good. As she swallowed, a feeling of contentment filled her. That was until she was hit with the memory of the woman. Her eyes flew open.

  "Oh, no! Where is she?"

  "She took herself out of the castle as if she were the Queen of Sheba!" Joan didn't try to hide her disgust.

  Rowena struggled to remember what the woman had said? The wife her lover was saddled with? In a flurry, she jumped off the bed and pulled her bed clothes off, giving orders all the while.

  "My gown, Joan, quickly. Did the guards have to threaten her? When did she arrive here? There was no gossip about a strange woman in the area? Joan, what is taking you so long?" As she tied up the opening of her chemise, she turned to find Joan waiting patiently with her tunic. She dipped her head into the opening and allowed her to follow that with her outer gown. "Do you know where she went?"

  "Well, I sent the lad out to follow her. He said she stopped at the inn. The same one that his lordship…"

  "Yes, I know."

  Rowena interrupted her story before she heard again that she should have cleared up the misunderstanding with her husband before she allowed him to have his way with her. Of course, Joan couldn't know that she had also had her way with him. It had been mutually satisfying to say the least.

  Joan frowned. "Why are you turning red, my lady? You haven't done anything wrong."

  Rowena turned her back to Joan so she could pull her long braid out. "Did you get a name?"

  "Abigail."

  Biting her lower lip, Rowena tried to remember if John had ever mentioned an Abigail. He hadn't really said much about his life at all. No, she was sure there had been no mention of an Abigail.

  Rowena shook her head with conviction and turned toward the small blonde. "She was a liar. I don't know who she is, but my husband will explain it when he returns."

  "When will that be?"

  She had received no word from John since he'd left. With fall quickly passing, the stores were being stockpiled, the fields had been harvested and turned over, and the preparations for winter were well advanced. If her husband did not return soon, it could be he would not be able to return until the spring. That would be true especially if he had left for Normandy. Her heart sank at the very thought.

  "Please," Joan took her hands as if reading her mind, "do not think the worst. It is not good for you in your condition."

  "To what do you refer? What condition?"

  Joan's voice was quiet in the small room. "You do not know?"

  "Know what? Why are you speaking
in riddles?" Rowena was quickly losing patience.

  "Your queasiness?"

  "I think the eel soup was bad last night. Did no one else succumb?"

  Joan's eyebrows were raised in expectation but Rowena had no answer for her."Verily, my lady? Bad eel soup?"

  "Something did not sit well with me."

  Joan shook her head and it irritated Rowena.

  "What? Pray tell then, what is my condition?"

  "You are with child," Joan replied.

  First disbelief then excitement gripped Rowena. Realizing she had not had her menses since right after her husband's arrival, it was very possible that she was with child. It had been two months since she'd lain with him. She touched her tender breast. Of course! That was why her breasts were filling out, in preparation for the child that would soon suckle them.

  Her complete joy knew no bounds as she imagined her very own child. A child conceived by their long awaited wedding night. The realization that God had blessed their union with a child was almost too much. For so long she had thought God had abandoned her to be alone the rest of her life, and in a short few months her life had changed drastically.

  Thank you, Lord, that you are ever faithful even when we lose heart.

  She grasped her hands to her chest and smiled. "I think you are right. A child! I have conceived!"

  Sitting on the side of the bed, she ran her hand over her abdomen and thought of the babe asleep in there. It was a girl. She knew it was a girl. She would have dark hair like her father and a dimple on her cheek.

  "A child." She whispered the words to see how it sounded. Wonderful.

  "We will not allow the woman in again," Joan spoke with conviction but the reminder dampened Rowena's happiness.

  "That is as it should be, methinks. If John were here, he could prove her for the liar that she is. Since he is not, we do not have to deal with her lies."

  "It is decided then." Joan's hands on her hips, she nodded her head with finality.

  The woman was insistent. Every day for more than a month, she came to call on Rowena. Each time, Joan intercepted and told the woman she was not welcome. It was becoming tiresome. The vile woman believed she could visit the home of his lordship whenever she chose and be welcomed. Usually, Rowena accepted many visitors at the evening meal but Joan was ever diligent and would not allow the woman entrance.

  Still there was no word from John.

  Turning her attention from her absent husband to the child they had created gave her a much better outlook. As the winter skies grew gray and the rain came down in droves, Rowena often found herself before the warm fire just holding her needlepoint, staring into the flames imagining her future.

  A husband to love. A child to care for.

  The morning sickness had subsided but her hair was still ratty and thin. She knew she wasn't exactly blossoming but she was happy. She did not glow radiantly like her friend Katey had, but she still had several months yet to go, and things would be better when John returned.

  The memory of his hands sliding over her belly and cupping her breast slipped through her mind. Would he still desire her? Or would he set her aside? She did not like to think there would be no more intimacy between them. He had said he would not go to another. But like so many other things about John, Rowena didn't know how he would react to the news or to the woman who hounded her incessantly.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  "Soldiers are crossing the bridge!" Joan had all but run to her with the news. "I do not see your husband yet. I will go keep watch."

  Rowena stood and smoothed her skirts, pushed at her hair, and finally started to pace when no one came to join her in the Great Hall. How would John take the news of their impending parenthood? Did he long to be a father as Rowena had to be a mother? Perhaps not but he would surely adjust to the idea and be glad. He would be a doting father, giving their little girl rides on his shoulders and taking her for long walks in the woods. Rowena would teach her about herbs and how to heal ailments like her own mother had taught her. After what seemed an eternity, Joan came slowly back into the room. She was alone.

  "I am sorry, my lady. They had come to advise the rest of the men. There has been some trouble not far from here, and your husband wanted to see that you were well protected."

  "They said that? That John wanted me protected?" Her sadness at John not coming was quickly replaced by the reality of his concern for her. He did care.

  "Well, not in so many words."

  Turning away to hide the tears that came so easily now, Rowena struggled with her emotions. She wanted to feel glad that she knew John was well and that he was nearby. The bubbling in her belly brought a smile to her face. She placed her hand where she'd felt the movement, but it had stopped. Still she knew that the truth was she would never be alone again.

  Rowena turned back to her friend, a genuine smile across her face. "Would you send word to my husband that all is well here?"

  Joan tipped her head, a quirk of an eyebrow like a salute to her lady's resilience, and said, "I will be sure to do that, my lady."

  Joan quickly ran out leaving Rowena standing alone before the fire, fighting the somberness that threatened to engulf her. She knew the moment the unwanted woman had entered the room behind her.

  Without turning, Rowena let Abigail hear her disgust in her voice. "So you've made it in despite our wanting to keep you out."

  "I am nothing if not clever. And trust me, I am much more."

  Slowly turning to face the woman, Rowena had forgotten just how beautiful she was. Her thick, dark hair swept down her sides, blanketing the cape she wore draped about her shoulders. Her bright eyes showed intelligence, missing nothing as they assessed Rowena. As if peering into her soul, Rowena was acutely uncomfortable with the woman's sudden frown. It was as if she had figured out her secret. But that couldn't be. Rowena barely showed at all.

  "Abigail, is it?" Rowena did not try to hide her disdain.

  Resignation was now etched on the woman's face as if she had come across an unhappy truth. Rowena waited patiently for her reply.

  "I am Abigail of Moulineaux Castle in Normandy."

  Her arrogance at laying claim to John's estate was galling. "Are you now?"

  Abigail raised her nose. Suddenly tired again, Rowena sat next to the fire before her legs gave way beneath her. Debating whether she should order the woman to leave or finally give her a chance to say what it was she had to say, Rowena preferred the former.

  "If I ask you to leave?"

  "You will have to make me leave."

  "It can be done."

  Smiling indulgently, the woman answered her, "I believe you will not do that…not again."

  "So speak your mind and be gone." Rowena tried to sound uninterested but the light in her nemesis' eyes spoke volumes about her failure.

  "Yes, I would like to sit. Thank you." Sweeping her long black cape around the bench in front of Rowena, Abigail sat down as if she were royalty. How long ago was it that John had sat in that same spot causing havoc to Rowena's senses, causing her to desire him above everything else. It seemed so very long ago.

  "Thinking of him, are you?" Abigail said.

  Shocked that she was so transparent to this woman, Rowena sat up straighter. "What is it that you want?"

  "That is simple. I have come for John. I'm sure he has missed me and our son as much as we have him."

  Cut to the quick, Rowena wished that it didn't feel like she'd been punched in the gut. She knew the rumor the woman was spreading, that she was indeed John's mistress and she had come to see that he had not taken ill. Abigail claimed that he had assured her he would return to her by fall. That she and John had a son was something Rowena had not heard before.

  "My husband is not here. He is seeing to his property."

  "So I've heard. Weren't able to keep him with you for very long were you? I'd venture to say he had no interest in you at all." Her perfectly red lips stretched into a smile that didn't reach her e
yes.

  Rowena reconsidered and decided the woman was actually very ugly. For her to think she could come and arrogantly make comments regarding John's feelings showed how ugly she was inside. Her heart was probably made of stone.

  Unable to hide the pain the words caused, Rowena was relieved to see Joan stomping toward them from the kitchen.

  "What are you doing in here?" Joan said, her voice resonating authority. Rowena was very glad she was an ally.

  "She was just leaving." Rowena held Abigail's gaze as she spoke. "She has said her peace, and now she will go without any problem. Isn't that right, Abigail?" Despite her weariness, Rowena rose when Joan came to stand beside her, her friend's presence bolstering her sagging confidence. "Thank you for your visit but you need not return. You are not welcome here."

  Taking Joan's arm for support, Rowena left the woman behind her as she headed back to her room.

  "My lady, you look ill," Joan whispered as they ascended the stairs.

  "Is she gone yet?"

  Joan glanced behind and nodded. "Young Peter is showing her out now."

  "Please help me to bed. I have a tightness in my gut that does not seem right."

  Rowena stretched on the bed. When Joan started to cover her with the blankets, Rowena was startled by her gasp. "My lady…" looking down at her clothing, she, too could see the spreading crimson stain.

  Joan placed a wadded cloth tight against her, trying to staunch the bleeding.

  "Fetch the midwife," Rowena said.

  "I will bring her to you right away."

  Alone in the room, the shadows fell as the time ticked by and she waited to see if her baby would live or die. The shadows looked like ugly monsters that seemed to leer at Rowena, laughing at her weakness. The wind whipping against the glass sounded like crying children and her cramping seemed to increase with every cry.

  She awoke once to find Claire, the midwife, clucking and checking, rambling on but it made no sense. There was so much blood and then she was forcing something bitter into her mouth. Rowena retreated back to her sleep. When next she awoke, John was beside her. His kind brown eyes were full of concern for her, his hand gently stroking her cheek, and his lips warm against her forehead.