by Jo Ramsey
I went ahead and knocked. A couple minutes passed before anyone answered. The door opened to reveal a woman a bit shorter than I was, with graying hair and glasses. She looked confused and a little suspicious, like Mr. Silver had the first time I’d come over. “May I help you?”
“My name’s Chris Talberman.” Something told me I needed to be formal with her. “I live in the Glass Tree House.”
“Oh, you’re Noah’s friend.” She almost smiled. “Nice to meet you. Did you want to see Noah?”
“If it’s all right,” I replied.
“Of course it is. I’m his mother, by the way.” She stepped back to let me into the house.
“Nice to meet you.” We shook hands.
She led me into the living room where Noah and his father were sitting on the couch watching some foreign movie in a language I didn’t recognize. Noah quickly stood up when I entered the room. He didn’t smile. “Chris. I didn’t think you’d stop by today.”
“I was bored at home.” I didn’t let on why I’d wanted to see him. That wouldn’t have gone over well with his parents.
“Let’s go up to my room,” he suggested.
That sounded good to me, especially since his father was glaring at me. I didn’t know if I’d done something wrong or if he’d just decided he didn’t like me. Either way, I preferred not to stay in the same room with him any longer than I had to.
“I’ll bring you boys a snack if you like,” Mrs. Silver offered.
“Thanks, Mom. I think we’ll be fine without snacks.” Noah sounded kind of sarcastic, but his mother didn’t seem to notice. She just smiled and nodded and sat down beside Mr. Silver.
Noah and I went up the spiral staircase to the second floor. “Sometimes it’s worse when Mom’s here than when she isn’t,” he said in a low voice. “She hovers over me and Dad, and it drives us both nuts. I think that’s part of why Dad does it to me, because he’s fed up with Mom doing it to him, so he wants to pass on the misery.”
I didn’t want to listen to him complain about his mother. At least he had one around. “Yeah, I can see why someone hanging over you would be a problem.”
He caught my meaning right away. “I didn’t mean to do that to you.” He flopped onto his bed. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I guess. I’m sorry.”
“You apologized yesterday.” I hesitated. Now that I was there, I wasn’t sure why I’d come. “You’re new at this. I understand. I don’t know if I want to be your trainer boyfriend. I’m not so great at patience, and I don’t like someone being clingy.”
“I know. I’ll try not to act that way.” He paused. “Besides, I’ll only be here a few more weeks. Dad says we have to be in France before mid-April for some project he’s working on. So I won’t be able to cling long-distance.” A frown crossed his face. “Wait. Are you saying you’d interested in being my boyfriend?”
I hadn’t meant to say that. When I replayed in my mind what I had said, I realized that was exactly how it sounded.
I wasn’t completely against the idea. I liked Noah. I’d felt kind of drawn to him the first time I’d met him, and that hadn’t gone away. Even if he had acted a little nutty the day before, that hadn’t made me stop liking him.
Besides, I was tired of not having anyone, and he was the first guy I’d met in Wellfleet who I was interested in. Dating him might not work out, but I figured I’d go for it anyway. “I’ll give it a try. As long as you knock off the cling.”
“I promise.” He gave me kind of a weird look, sort of sad and longing at the same time.
After a few seconds, I sat on the bed beside him. If he was going to look at me like that, he could at least explain why. “Is there a problem?”
“I don’t know how to say it,” he replied.
“I’m not going to read your mind, so if it’s important, you’re going to have to figure it out.”
He didn’t say anything. He just leaned over and kissed me. On the lips.
Chapter Ten
I TOOK a couple seconds to remember what to do when someone kissed me, because it hadn’t happened in so long. Plus Noah had caught me by surprise, even though I’d had a feeling this was on his mind.
His lips were soft against mine, and he tasted like root beer. Once my brain caught up with my mouth, I ran one hand through his soft hair. He scooted closer to me so our bodies were pressed together. With my arms around him, I felt like I had to protect him. I knew he didn’t have any experience with this kind of thing, and I wanted him to like kissing me. I definitely liked kissing him.
I touched his lips with my tongue, and he broke the kiss, eyes wide. “Wow.”
“First kiss?” I said. I didn’t need to ask. Of course it was his first kiss, at least the first one from another guy. Judging from his reaction, I figured it was probably his first one ever.
“Yeah.” He gave me a tentative smile. “I didn’t know a kiss would feel like that. I’m—I mean—” He shook his head. “I just didn’t know it would feel like that.”
“Is that a good thing?”
He nodded. “Definitely. I really, really like you, Chris. I’m glad you came over today. After I screwed up yesterday, I didn’t know if you’d come over again.”
“I figured I’d give you another chance.” I stroked his hair again. “You’re pretty good at kissing for someone who hasn’t done it before.”
“Thanks.” He stared at the window and didn’t say anything else.
Either I’d said something wrong, or he hadn’t been completely honest with me about this being his first kiss. I didn’t care if he’d kissed someone else. I just wanted to know the truth, and I didn’t feel totally comfortable asking him.
“Did it bother you?” I asked after a minute or so of uncomfortable silence.
“Did what bother me?” He turned to me, surprised. “The kiss?”
“Yeah.”
“It didn’t bother me.” He picked at a thread on his bedspread. “It just feels a little weird to be kissing a guy. But I liked it. I know I like you. I’m not straight, that’s for sure.”
“We should probably keep this between us, right?” I’d already dated one guy, a few months before Brian, whose mother had thrown him out of the house when she’d found out about him and me. He’d gone to our school’s guidance counselor, who had helped sort things out. He’d ended up back home, but his mother barely even looked at him after that. I’d felt responsible, and I didn’t want to go through anything like that again.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Dad probably would flip out if he knew, but I don’t know if that would be because of the gay thing or because of me having someone to hang out with. You might have noticed he isn’t a big fan of me having friends.”
“I had noticed that.” At least Mr. Silver hadn’t said anything to me today, just glared, which I could handle.
“He asked me a whole bunch of questions about you after he and Mom came back last night.” Noah lay down across the bed. “Like where you’re from, and what your parents do for work. And why your dad seemed so upset the other night. I told him about your mother leaving. I hope that was okay.”
“I guess so.” I didn’t want any more people knowing about that than necessary, but I couldn’t think of a good reason why Noah shouldn’t have told his father. After all, Mr. Silver had shown up at my house when the whole situation with my mother had just exploded, so of course he would have wondered what was going on.
“Have you heard from her?” he asked.
“No.” I wished he would stop asking that. “Can we not talk about her, please?”
“Sorry.” He paused. “So anyway, Dad asked me a lot about you. I told him you’re my friend and that I think it’s about time I had a friend my age. That I’m sick of him hiding me from everyone and barely letting me talk to anyone. He said when we’re here, if I want to hang out with you, that’s okay, as long as I still finish my schoolwork.” He rolled his eyes. “He treats me like such a kid sometimes.”
“Parents are lik
e that.” Mine never had been. They were too busy dealing with Cece to treat me like a kid. Sometimes I wished they had. “It’s cool that he doesn’t have a problem with us being friends.”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “He’d probably have a problem if he knew I just kissed you.”
“I’m not planning to tell him.” I made it sound like a joke, but I was serious. I didn’t want to give Mr. Silver any reason to dislike me more than he already did.
“Neither am I,” Noah said quickly. “So, um… Is it okay if I kiss you again?”
My heart gave a happy little jump, and so did something a little lower. Obviously I liked the idea of kissing him again. “Sure. And don’t ask next time. It’s cool to just do it.”
He sat up and put his arms around me. The doorknob turned, and we jumped apart just as Mrs. Silver pushed open the door.
“I hope you boys are having a good talk,” she said brightly as she walked in carrying a white plastic tray like the ones my school used in the cafeteria. On the tray were a plate of chocolate chip cookies and two brown glass bottles of root beer. She set the tray on Noah’s nightstand. “Chris, Noah’s dad told me about your mother. I’m so sorry. I hope she’ll be back soon.”
“Thanks.” If her sudden entrance hadn’t already killed my mood, that comment would have done the job. Not only did I not want to kiss anymore, I didn’t even want the cookies that smelled like they were fresh out of the oven.
“How long do you think she’ll be gone?” she asked.
“Mom, Chris doesn’t want to talk about that,” Noah said irritably. “Give him a break, huh?”
“You don’t have to be disrespectful.” Mrs. Silver shook her head. “Honestly, sometimes I think your father—Sorry, Chris. I don’t mean to lecture Noah in front of you. Parenting a teenager isn’t easy.”
“Um, okay.” I had no idea what she wanted me to say to that. I was a teenager, and I didn’t think I was all that hard to parent. Compared to Cece, I was a breeze. And I didn’t think Noah could be all that difficult either.
“Bring the tray back downstairs when you finish your snack, please.” Mrs. Silver smiled at me. “Hope you like the cookies. I just baked them.”
“I’m sure I will.” If I could manage to choke any of them down around the lump of pissed-offness in my throat.
She walked out and left the door open. Noah went over and started to close it.
“Leave it,” I said. “Maybe she’ll leave us alone that way.”
“You don’t want to kiss me again?” he asked, looking hurt.
“Remember that cling thing we talked about?” I picked up a cookie and studied it, trying to decide whether I wanted to take a bite. “I do want to kiss you again, just not right now with your parents down there. Your mom might walk in again, and that’s more explaining than I’m in the mood to do today.”
“Good point. She is kind of nosy.” He paused. “There’s other stuff than kissing too.”
“Yeah, we aren’t going there right now.” I’d already told him my opinion about having sex. I didn’t want to go into that topic again, especially since my hormones weren’t too happy about ending the kissing. Saying no to Noah might be tougher than I thought.
“Okay.” He took one of the root beer bottles and drained half of it. “I love this stuff. We only have it here. I don’t know if they even sell this brand anywhere else in the country, and they definitely don’t have it in other countries.”
At least he seemed okay with the change of subject. “I’m not a huge root beer fan, but I like this kind too,” I said.
We munched on cookies and drank root beer for a while. Mrs. Silver wandered upstairs and peeked in the door at us twice, like she expected to see something other than us just sitting there. I was kind of glad I’d told Noah to leave the door open. If he hadn’t, his mother would have wondered what we were doing.
When I finished my root beer, I figured I should go home. Kadie and Nina were probably finished with Cece, and Jillian had seemed panicky about the idea of being alone with my sister since Cece’s meltdown. That hadn’t even been a meltdown by my definition, given how Cece sometimes acted, but I understood why it had disturbed Jillian. She hadn’t seen Cece in action before.
“I’d better go,” I said to Noah. “My dad’s going to be home soon, and he’ll need my help with my sister.”
“It sucks that you have to do so much for her,” he said. “Like the day we met, when you had to chase her. How come your mother didn’t do that?”
“Because she blamed me that Cece got outside,” I blurted before I could think of a better answer. “She’s the one who left the door unlocked. I was the one standing closest to the door when Cece opened it, so in her opinion I should have stopped Cece. I tried, but the kid was too fast for me.”
“Parents shouldn’t blame kids for everything.” He stood and picked up the tray. “They don’t know how it feels to have everything blamed on you. Their parents probably did the same thing to them, but now that they’re adults, they’ve forgotten. It feels like crap, as far as I’m concerned.”
I wondered what his parents had blamed on him, but he walked out of the room without giving me a chance to ask.
I followed him downstairs. He balanced the tray on one hand and opened the door for me with the other.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” he asked, sounding sad again.
“I’ll try,” I said. “I don’t know what time I’ll be able to. I’m way behind on homework, plus I have to stay with Cece until the woman who’s watching her shows up.”
“Who’s watching her?”
“Brad’s mother.”
I didn’t know if he’d know who I meant, but he nodded. “She’s nice. I hope she does okay with Cece.”
“She was today, except for one problem. Which is why I should probably go home—in case there’s another problem before Dad comes home from work.” I hesitated. I wanted to hug him or something, but he had the tray, and I didn’t want to chance his parents seeing. So I settled for just touching his free hand. “See you later. Thanks for the cookies and root beer.”
“I’ll tell my mom you said that.” He smiled. “See you later.”
I got back to my house at the same time Dad drove up, so I waited for him to get out of the car.
He frowned at me. “Why are you out here?”
“I went to visit Noah. Jillian’s taking care of Cece.” He’d better not get on my case about that. The whole reason we had Jillian coming over was so I wouldn’t be responsible for my sister. I just hoped Dad remembered that.
“This is Jillian’s first time watching Cecelia,” he said. “I’d hoped you would stay home to help her.”
“Is that my job?” I demanded. “Because you didn’t tell me it was, and I don’t think it is. I’m not the one who’s supposed to be in charge of Cece. Mom did that to me enough. I don’t need it from you too.”
He stared at me. I opened my mouth and shut it again. I shouldn’t have said anything. Telling Jillian and the therapists about Mom leaving me with Cece had been bad enough, but they didn’t have a personal involvement in the situation. I didn’t want to tell Dad the truth. He would be furious with Mom, and he was already angry enough with her for leaving in the first place.
“What do you mean, Mom put you in charge of Cece?” he asked slowly.
I couldn’t think of any way to avoid answering. Not without lying, and I refused to lie to him. I put it off a little by knocking on the door.
Jillian opened it. She didn’t look like Cece had traumatized her or anything. “Welcome home.”
“Thanks.” I went past her into the house. Cece was at the table drinking some juice. I went over to the sliding door and stared out at the cove.
Behind me, I heard Dad murmur something to Jillian before he walked over to me. I could see his reflection in the glass, but I tried to ignore him.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he said. “What do you mean, your mother put you in charge?”
/>
“Sometimes she went out to run errands when I was home,” I replied. “I thought that was where she’d gone Monday, until she didn’t come back.”
“She went out to run errands and left you alone with your sister?” His voice was very quiet. I didn’t like that tone from him. It usually meant that his temper was on the rise.
“I didn’t mind.” I sat on the couch because I didn’t want to stand up anymore.
On the other side of the room, Jillian sat beside Cece and spoke softly to her, like she was trying to keep Cece from hearing Dad and me.
I kept my voice down. “She went to the store or something, and Cece and I did whatever the schedule said we were supposed to do. I didn’t have any trouble with her or anything.” There I went again, trying to cover Mom’s ass. After everything she’d done, I had no reason to defend her, but I still felt like I had to.
“Your mother and I agreed that you would never have to babysit your sister,” he said, speaking as quietly as I had. “We decided that as soon as Cecelia was diagnosed. It wouldn’t be fair to you to have to look after her. Why didn’t your mother stick to that agreement?”
He sounded like I should have known the answer, which of course I didn’t. I wasn’t sure anymore if Mom even understood why she did the things she did, never mind understanding her myself.
“I don’t know,” I said. “She just did. Other kids my age have to take care of younger brothers or sisters. It isn’t a big deal.”
“It is when your younger sister has the problems she has.” He frowned. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about this before, Chris?”
“I didn’t want you to be angry with Mom.” Now that I said it, it sounded like a dumb excuse for keeping a secret. If Mom had broken an agreement she had with Dad, he should have known about it. Not telling him had been like lying, and I didn’t like lying to my parents about anything. I hadn’t even thought about it being dishonest before. Now I wished I hadn’t covered for Mom for so long. If Dad had known about her “errands,” maybe he would have fixed things so she would have stayed.
“It’s a little late for that,” he said. “She abandoned her family. I’m already angry with her. If you’d told me what was going on, I might have been able to help her find someone else to give her a break from your sister. Then you wouldn’t have had to watch her, and your mother might have stuck around.”
