by Kiki Swinson
I had completely lost it. All of the beautiful glass and crystal accessories that usually adorned the tables and shelves in our living room lay in shards throughout the room. I had either thrown the glass and crystal against the walls or against the hardwood floors in one of the many fits of rage I’d experienced that night. All of Matt’s jewelry was in a bag that I had packed by the door along with every stitch of clothes that I owned. Matt’s prized sneaker collection, including at least twenty-five pairs of Air Jordans, were ruined from me either cutting them with scissors, slicing them with a box cutter, or pouring bleach on them.
“Oh my God, Lauren,” I gasped as I took in more and more of the damage I had caused. I had started thinking about what Matt was going to do to me when he found out. Especially when he found out about his uncle’s jacket.
I walked over and bent down next to what had been a large canvas portrait Matt had paid a local artist to paint of him. It was now sliced down the middle, across the side, and from corner to corner until barely any canvas remained attached to the wooden frame. I swore if Matt was in front of me his face might’ve looked the same as that damn picture.
I slid down to the floor and buried my face in my hands. I was exhausted. Finding out about yet another chick Matt was sleeping with had made me emotionally and physically spent but finding out that he was having a baby with someone else had literally broken my heart into a million little pieces. It hadn’t been that long ago that I had miscarried our first child. I felt so betrayed. At the moment, I felt confident that as soon as Matt walked in the door I would slap the shit out of him, spit on him, then grab my bags and leave.
“This is the last straw, Lauren. You have to leave him or this nigga will never stop,” I told myself. I don’t know why I sat there waiting to confront Matt instead of just leaving. Each hour that passed that Matt didn’t come home my confidence dwindled and dwindled.
When Matt finally arrived, I was sprawled out on our leather couch that now had stuffing spilling from it like a gutted pig from me slicing it with my box cutter. I had the pictures laid out around me. I was staring straight at the door when Matt turned his key and walked through it. He was speaking to someone on his cell phone and had the nerve to be laughing. That didn’t last long. I don’t know if it was the pure evil showing on my face or the damage that Matt saw first.
“What the fuck?” Matt clucked, his face immediately folding into a confused frown. “Yo, son, let me hit you back,” Matt said, and disconnected his call. I swallowed the hard lump that had formed at the back of my throat. My mind was telling me to get up and attack Matt but my body wouldn’t cooperate. The tears immediately began rolling down my face again. Seeing Matt’s face, smelling his cologne, and just thinking of being without him was too much to take. My insides ignited with a mixture of fear, anger, hurt, shame, and just total devastation.
“Yo, Lauren! What the fuck did you do? You fucking bugging?!” Matt boomed as he whirled around and around taking in the destruction. I swear it was like someone had pulled a red veil over my eyes and shocked me with a jolt of electricity. I jumped to my feet and charged into Matt like a Spanish bull.
“I hate you! I hate you! I can’t believe you did this to me again!” I screeched until the back of my throat itched. I hurled wild punches and slaps at Matt’s face, neck, and head. I swiped my fingernails across his left cheek and caught nails full of skin.
“Ah! Get the fuck off me!” Matt barked, clutching onto my wrists. He squeezed them so hard I thought he’d break the bones inside. Although I felt the pain in my wrists it was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling in my heart.
“You got her pregnant! I hate you!” I screamed. Matt used his strength to push me backward until I landed on my back on the couch. He was too strong for me but I wasn’t going to give up the fight.
“Get off of me! I’m leaving you! I hate you!” I screamed and cried at the same time. I knew my face was red because I could feel the blood filling up under the skin of my cheeks. The hot tears ran down my face like a newly opened faucet. Since Matt was holding my wrists I began kicking my legs. I really wanted to inflict the worst kind of pain on his ass.
“Yo, chill. Fuckin’ chill,” Matt growled. He pinned his body on top of mine so I couldn’t kick him anymore. I didn’t give up though. I wriggled, flailed, and bucked against Matt.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Lauren?” he grunted. It was taking all of his strength and effort to hold me down because I was going wild bucking my body, spitting, crying, and cursing.
“She came here, Matt. I saw her belly. I have all of the pictures of y’all together. I have the fuckin’ sonogram pictures,” I wailed.
“I saw the sonogram pictures of your first child,” I whimpered weakly. Just saying those words had defeated me. Suddenly my body went still and I closed my eyes. The only sound filling my ears was my own rapid breathing. At that moment I really wanted to die. I would have rather given up my own life than to think of Matt bringing a life into the world without it being with me.
“Why? Why did God punish me and take my baby but let you have one with her?” I croaked pitifully.
“Lauren, baby, stop. I swear, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Matt said calmly. I felt my insides going soft. “You are the only one I’m with. Somebody is lying. These haters want to break us up. None of that shit is true. I ain’t got no baby on the fucking way,” he said softly. I remained silent. “Do you hear me?” Matt asked. I stayed quiet and still.
Finally he loosened his grip on my wrists and got up off of me. I lay there a few minutes completely still.
“Lauren?” Matt said my name. “Did you hear what I said?”
Like a demon possessed I sprang to my feet before Matt could really react. I turned toward him and with all of the force in my body I slammed my fist right into his mouth. Caught off guard, Matt slumped over and fell off the edge of the couch.
“You’re a fucking liar! I’m leaving!” I screamed, hurling more punches and kicks at him. Then I ran straight for the door. I wasn’t fast enough. Matt had gathered himself and gotten to his feet. He tackled me from behind, turned me toward him, pushed me up against the door, and crushed his bloodied mouth on top of mine.
“Mmmm,” I moaned, trying to fight him. Matt had my arms pinned up on either side of my head.
“Stop. Stop. I’m not letting you go nowhere. I love you and only you,” Matt whispered as he tried to force his mouth over mine again. I was trying to fight him, but he had overpowered me again. Then he began undressing me. With tears running down my face like a waterfall I let my body melt against his and let him take my clothes off.
“I only love you. Nobody else means shit to me,” Matt said. I cried and cried but I stayed. I had tried my best to leave but I just didn’t have the strength to leave him.
* * *
I snapped out of my thoughts of the past. As I finally crossed the doorsill of our bedroom with my suitcase and the money from our scam in tow, I held back tears. I didn’t know if they were tears from thinking about the hurts of the past or tears of joy about what was coming for my future, but I was crying like I was at someone’s funeral.
It wasn’t easy leaving Matt even now but I was ready to show him that I was strong enough to break free of his bullshit after all of these years. I think I held my breath until I finally made it out of our condo, out of the building, and safely to my car. I let out a long windstorm of breath as I climbed into the driver’s seat and locked all of the doors. I looked up into my rearview mirror to make sure I had really gotten away without Matt knowing a thing. There was not a soul in that parking lot at that time of morning but me. That’s when it finally sank it. I had done it! I was the last one standing!
“Owww!” I howled and slammed my fists against my steering wheel. “You fucking did it, Lauren! You fucking got your revenge and all of the fucking money, too! Fuck ’em. They can’t touch you! You are that bitch! Owww!Catchmeifyoucan, Matthew, and tell
your new bitch Yancy Yance to eat shit and die!” I was talking shit like Matt could somehow telepathically hear me.
I let out a raucous, maniacal laugh and let a wide toothy grin spread across my mouth. I turned on some music and I swerved my Benz out of the building’s parking garage. I swiped my key card one last time and then tossed that shit out of the window.
“Won’t be needing you ever again,” I said as I heard the key card hit the ground.
Once I was out on the street, I mashed my foot on the gas pedal and let my car zoom through the streets. I can’t even explain the sense of freedom I felt as I got farther and farther away from home. I was on my way. I only had one stop to make before I put the rest of my plan into motion.
I was making the first part of my getaway by car. Flying would have been faster, but there were two drawbacks. It’s easy to track someone’s air travel and I knew I couldn’t carry that much cash to an airport because the limit you could travel with was ten thousand dollars. Those TSA fuckers had dogs that could sniff out if you had more. I couldn’t put the money in the bank because of course it wasn’t mine. I was going to have to be smart about stashing this much cash. I was getting as far away from this hellhole as possible.
“Oh, I won’t be needing you anymore either. I know you can be tracked with that Find My iPhone bullshit. Not fucking with you, iPhone,” I said to my phone, and then I tossed that shit out of the window too. It shattered into several pieces as it hit the street. Each time I threw away an essential piece of my life it was like shedding dead weight and felt oh so good. Whatever contacts I had in the phone were all considered a part of my past now. I would get in touch with my sister once I got settled. She and I hadn’t been in contact for years, but I still needed to be able to touch bases with her from time to time. Just like that phone, I was leaving all the broken pieces of my past life behind. At least that was my plan. I never anticipated that stealing that money wasn’t going to be the best thing that had ever happened to me like I thought. I could’ve never guessed that while I drove off into what I thought would be a new and improved life, I would actually be putting my life in serious danger. After all, Yancy had said she’d found that Hermès wallet and swore that no one could ever trace it back to her, Matt, or me. I guess just like with everything else, Yancy had fucking lied.
YANCY
Fuck, yeah, I’d lied. Got no damn reason to tell Lauren the truth. Her snobby ass needed to be taught a lesson and I was just the bitch to do the teaching.
Lauren thinks she saved my ass, but I was used to the ass kicking my pimp handed down weekly. This was just the first time she’d seen the aftermath, and yeah, I’d put on a good show of being a damsel in distress. Yeah, that shit wasn’t as real as she thought it was. I was just angling to get all up in her business. See, I’d dealt with Lauren a couple a times, peeped her lifestyle, and decided to give it a try. She was living easy and sometimes a bitch just wanted to trade spots for a minute. I wanted a taste of her man. Simple as that. I didn’t expect to start crushing on him, but now that he’s stomped on my heart, fuck ’em!
Everybody knew Matt. He’d been the man in the streets before one of his soldiers turned on him and got him locked up. He’d been free for a minute, and everybody could see he wasn’t feelin’ playing wifey to Lauren, driving her around in her car and having her bring in all the cash. Shit, he wasn’t no chauffeur and everybody knew he was itching for a return. Like a phoenix or some shit. But he was tainted . . . and busted! I don’t know where his mind was, but I can tell you what word on the street was. Matt had lost his edge and was pussy-whipped by Lauren’s high yellow ass. Wasn’t no way the niggas in our hood were gonna follow behind that shit. So he was locked out of the game and if it weren’t for Lauren he’d probably be living with his mama. Oops, my bad. His mama’s dead. Anyway, Lauren turned her man into a bitch, but he was still hot and I didn’t see nothing wrong with giving him a ride and helping him spend Lauren’s money. That’s what hoes do!
So yeah, I let Lauren save me. Funny thing is, for a pushy bitch she sure is soft when it comes to dealing with bitches. Might be because of her little sister, but that’s her problem, not mine. Sure, she gives me some friction ’cause I come off as a dumb ho and we both know I’m screwing her man. But any other chick woulda split my head open over the shit I was doing to Lauren. I’m practically living in her condo and giving her man the best brain he’s ever had. I keep thinking about the night Lauren and Matt scooped me up off the block and wiped the snot from my nose . . . shit, it was all I could do not to laugh in their faces. They have no idea what I’m about.
“Agh, help!” Humph! I’d screamed that word so many times it was my motto. “Help, help!” I sang again, like I was busting a nut, leaning back in the driver’s seat of my red Mustang convertible. I was headed to see my man one last time before the shit hit the fan. That’s right. I wasn’t just fucking Matt. You can’t count on one man for ya come-up.
I pulled up in front of Nik’s ultramodern glass mansion and revved my engine a couple of times before jumping out. I loved that car. It was just one of many gifts I’d earned since hooking up with one of Virginia Beach’s most successful businessmen. Rolling in dough. Dripping in gold. That kind of shit. He might be claiming Virginia Beach right now, but he was not from around here. And any fool could see that the money he rocked did not come from the businesses he claimed. Didn’t add up. But that was okay by me. I wasn’t his accountant or the fucking IRS, so I didn’t need to track his dough. It was my job to spend it.
Which brings me to today’s final visit.
Dude decided he was gonna cut me off. Kick me to the curb. End the affair. Whatever you wanna call it. I didn’t expect our arrangement to last forever, but what happened to my parting gift? Consolation prize. Something! I mean, we’d been fucking for almost a year, and he didn’t even want to get me a house. Stingy motherfucka!
I wasn’t ’bout to hang around when my time was up. I was done livin’ like that.
But I got something for that ass. Last week I ran through his office and picked up just enough info to lighten his wallet by three million dollars. I didn’t have the connects to get that money out of his account and into my hands, but Lauren sure did. I just needed a little cover story on how I got the goods, ’cause I sure didn’t want her in my business and that bitch always got a lot of questions.
As I walked through the door one last time, I said under my breath, “That’s what he gets for letting a ho in his house. He shoulda just got me my own place.”
MATT
I was dreaming that a huge boulder was rolling behind me when a sound like thunder caused me to stumble and fall. But the boulder didn’t catch up to crush me. Instead, I jerked out of my sleep and heard the thunderous sound again.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! That’s when I realized I was no longer dreaming.
My heart was racing while my brain struggled to connect the sound with its source. Scared as hell, I forced my eyes open to the constant loud noise coming from somewhere in the condo. I tried to lift my head, but could barely move. The pain that shot through my skull from just opening my eyes was unbearable. It felt like somebody was standing over me hitting me on the top of my head with the pointy part of a hammer. The noise came again. After being fully awake for a few minutes, I realized it was coming from the front door. I reached into my nightstand drawer for my gun.
“Oh shit,” I croaked, barely able to move my dry, cracked lips. My mouth was so parched it felt like I had swished a cupful of sand around and tried to swallow it. I was experiencing a cross between a bad hangover, the day-after effects of an ass whooping, and a bad case of the flu.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Damn. Whoever it was, they weren’t going away or giving up. I cocked my gun. Then I heard the familiar, high pitch of Yancy’s voice. My shoulders slumped and I put the gun down on the nightstand.
“Matt! Lauren! I know y’all fucking in there!” If Yancy’s screaming sounded that loud to me and
I was in the back of my condo, I could only imagine how it sounded to our neighbors. This bitch was really wearing out the little bit of patience I had for her.
I tried to gather up enough strength to stand up from the side of the bed, but it wasn’t easy. “Awwwfuck,” I groaned. Not only was my head throbbing with pain, but I felt completely off. The room was on tilt. This was crazy because I hadn’t had a hangover in years. And from Cîroc? Nah, I wouldn’t feel this fucked up from that mild-ass drink.
“Lauren?” I mumbled. “You here?” I struggled to move my pounding head so that I could look around the room. “Bae?” I called out to her. No answer.
“Maybe she ran out for a minute,” I said under my breath. But why wouldn’t she have woken me up? It suddenly dawned on me that we had business to take care of, hence the reason Yancy was pounding on the door like a madwoman. Speaking of which . . .
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
“Matt! Lauren! I’m not fucking playing! Open up this door!” Yancy. Again.
“Fuck!” I huffed.
I squinted at the cable box and it read 4:55 PM. I swiped my hand over my face and shook my head. I couldn’t have possibly slept all fucking day.
“This bitch,” I rasped. I gripped the side of the bed for support and slowly got to my feet. I almost fell backward. That is how bad my equilibrium was off. I felt like somebody slipped me a fucking roofie. I ain’t never feel like this from no damn Cîroc.
