by Kiki Swinson
I lumbered down the hallway to the condo door, barely able to lift my feet. I yanked opened the door to find crazy girl Yancy looking like a maniac on the other side. Her eyes were bugged out and had dark rings under them like she hadn’t slept in days. Her hair was wild on her head. She had the illest look on her face too. Scary as hell.
“Why the fuck are y’all playing games with me?” Yancy barked as she bulldozed her way inside. Shit, she slammed into me so hard I almost fell flat on my ass.
“What are you talking about, man? I was sleeping. Lauren must’ve gone to run some errands,” I growled. “Fuck is you out here banging like the gotdamn police? You making it real hard to have a chill button around your ass.”
“Run some errands? You let her leave? You can’t be that stupid, Matt,” Yancy spat. “Why would you let her leave without you? You really think she just went to run some fucking errands? I’ve been coming here since early this morning, banging on the door. I have been sitting outside and I haven’t seen her come or go,” Yancy screamed at me. At first her words didn’t quite sink in.
“Wait. What?” I asked. I felt dazed.
“You heard me. I’ve been here since like ten this morning. Banging. Sitting outside. I left and came back. Started banging again. You just now hearing me? There’s no way Lauren was here this morning and left.”
I moved my head left to right, trying to shake off the fog that seemed to be looming over me. I looked around the living room and nothing seemed out of place. Then I checked the key hook and noticed that Lauren’s car keys were gone.
“Let me call her,” I grumbled. “Because you bugging right now. You mad paranoid and shit. I told you she probably ran out for a reason. Damn.”
I slowly walked back to my bedroom to get my cell phone. Of course, stress box–ass Yancy was hot on my heels like she was going to miss something. She was mumbling and grumbling, but I wasn’t trying to hear her.
I picked up my cell phone from the nightstand on my side of the bed. As I dialed Lauren’s number, I watched Yancy peek into our master bathroom, walk over to Lauren’s vanity, snoop on her nightstand, and finally walk over to our closet. She was like the fucking feds on a search warrant, I swear.
“It’s going straight to voice mail. Maybe her battery died. I’m sure she will be back in a few,” I told Yancy. Even though I was trying to act like I believed that Lauren’s battery had died, something in the pit of my stomach was telling me I might need to be worried. Lauren carried her phone around like she needed it to live, so she never let that shit go dead. I was still playing it cool in front of Yancy, though.
Yancy squinted at me, folded her arms across her chest, and tapped her left foot impatiently. “Matt, she’s gone. I bet you she took the fucking money and left,” Yancy said calmly, taking a break from her panicky octaves.
“Nah, she wouldn’t do that. And where she gon’ go? I’m all that she knows. Lauren ain’t got the heart to leave me. You ain’t gon’ understand what I have with her, but I know she can’t stand to be without me,” I said confidently. But as the words left my mouth, I didn’t know if I even believed that myself.
“You were all that she knew before we fucking stole three million dollars! But I bet you that bitch is gone and I bet you even more that she has the fucking money, too!” Yancy yelled, her face turning all sorts of shades of red. She started fidgeting her legs like she had to take a piss. “Matt, where did you put the money?” Yancy asked with panic lacing her words. “I want to see the fucking money. I want to see that shit right now, Matt. Where is it?!” she pressed me.
“It’s in my fucking safe, Yancy,” I retorted. I walked over to my closet and stepped inside. My entire body was cold. My head was pounding. I wasn’t up for this bullshit.
“It’s probably gone,” Yancy taunted from behind me. “Every fucking dime is probably long gone. That bitch got us. I’m telling you she took it.”
I don’t know if she was trying to convince me that it was gone or convince herself that it wasn’t. My jaw rocked and I bit down on the skin inside my cheek. It was all I could do to keep myself from turning around and knocking Yancy’s ass out. She wouldn’t shut the fuck up and that shit was getting on my nerves.
I pushed my shoebox collection out of the way and moved the clothes I had blocking the wall safe. Nothing looked out of place to me. I punched in the combination code and listened for the beep. When the safe beeped and the lock clicked, I pulled back the small, heavy metal door. Yancy was still yapping from behind me, but all of a sudden I couldn’t hear her. My ears were ringing. My heart pounded. I rubbed my eyes to make sure they weren’t deceiving me. Heat rose from my feet and climbed up my body until it exploded out of the top of my head.
“Fuck!!!” I hollered. “Fucking bitch!!”
The safe was empty but for a lone piece of paper. I reached inside with a shaky hand and grabbed the paper. It was a note from Lauren. I held it between my fingers, but I couldn’t even bring myself to read it.
“See! I told you she fucking took it! I fucking knew it!” Yancy cried out. She snatched the paper from my hand and began reading it out loud.
Matt,
I guess by now you’ve figured out that I’m gone and that I’ve taken the money too. You had this coming to you. I think right now you feel the same way I felt when I found out about you fucking Yancy. Yes, that’s right. I knew all along. I’ve been wanting to get back at you, and stiffing you for three million dollars is the ultimate fuck-you.
I hope you realize that you lost a good one. I hope you can put that whore Yancy back out on the track to make you some money. You’ll never find another one like me, boo.
Sending a big FUCK YOU to you and her.
Lauren
P.S. Life with these millions is going to be the shit! I hope you enjoy fucking that broke bitch for the rest of your life.
After she finished reading the letter, Yancy stood stock still for a few seconds. Then, as if someone had kicked her in the backs of her knees, she collapsed onto the closet floor.
“No, no, no!” Yancy shrieked over and over. She started kicking and screaming like that possessed bitch from the exorcist movie. I couldn’t even understand what she was saying, nor did I care.
“I’m going to kill that bitch!! I will find her and I will fucking kill her!” I screamed. I began going crazy, swiping clothes onto the floor, kicking over shoe boxes, and finally sending both of my fists through the long mirror on the back of the door. I was so angry the pain from the glass cutting up my knuckles didn’t even register. I punched the glass over and over until there was nearly no skin left on my knuckles.
“Lauren Kelly, you better hope I never find you. You fucked with the wrong man, you fucked with the wrong man,” I said over and over. I didn’t care if I died trying, I was going to find Lauren and blow her brains out.
“You let this happen!” Yancy screamed at me. “You promised me that you would take care of it. You’re so fucking stupid!”
Her words exploded in my ears like someone had detonated bombs in them. I grabbed a fistful of Yancy’s weave and pulled her up from the floor.
“Get the fuck out!” I roared, dragging her toward the door. My hangover symptoms were long gone. I no longer had the pain in my head or the weak feeling in my body. I was feeling like the Incredible Hulk. My adrenaline was high and I felt like I could snap someone in half with my bare hands.
“Get off of me! I’m not leaving until I get my money!” Yancy cried out. She swung her arms wildly, trying to break free. She twisted around, trying to bite, kick, and punch me.
“You better stop and just get the fuck out!” I roared. With the anger I was feeling, I knew that if I really hit her, the blow would be fatal. Once we reached the front door, I opened it and tossed her out by her hair. She fell forward onto her hands and knees.
“Matthew!! You will see me again! This is not over!” Yancy cried. “This is not over! You motherfucka! It’s not over!”
I was
n’t trying to hear none of that bullshit she was spewing. I had too much shit on my mind to even care what Yancy was yapping about. I slammed the door in her face. Once I was inside of my condo alone, I put my back against the door and slid down to the floor. I felt like a bitch sitting there with my knees pulled up into my chest, rocking back and forth. For the first time since my moms had been murdered, I cried. I had not felt this kind of pain, grief, anger, and betrayal since that day, but now all of those emotions were back. I was crushed. Lauren had really fucking hurt me. I wasn’t the type that could take this kind of hurt and just bounce back like shit ain’t happen. Nah, I still had pride. I still had an ego, too.
“This ain’t over. Somebody gotta die. Either you or me,” I said through clenched teeth, speaking to Lauren like she could actually hear me. “Somebody gotta die.” Little did I know those words would become a very true prophecy.
LAUREN
“Get up, bitch! Get the fuck up right now!” Matt barked, pulling me up off the bed by my hair.
“Agh! Please!” I pleaded. Stabbing pains shot through my scalp causing tears to leak from the sides of my eyes. I couldn’t believe Matt had found me. But how? I had covered all of my tracks. There was no way for him to hunt me down through the cell phone. I had left the state.
“So you thought you could just take all of the money and get away with it? Huh? You really thought a street nigga like me would let you get away with crossing me like that?” Matt snarled with his gun pointed at my right eye. He tightened his grip on my hair. I put my hands on top of his to try to ease some of the pressure pulsating through my scalp and head.
“Just blow that bitch’s brains out. Fuck all of this talking.” Yancy stood behind Matt talking shit. She would’ve loved nothing more than to see Matt finally choose her over me.
“Where’s the fucking money, Lauren?” Matt asked, tightening his grip on my hair even more.
“Ahh. I . . . I . . . I don’t have the money,” I said, wincing. “It’s gone. All gone. I had to get rid of it.” I lied. I would never give up where I had stashed the money.
“Gone? Gone where?” Matt asked, pressing the cold steel of his gun harder into the skin of my forehead. My bottom lip trembled and my heart thumped wildly. I knew even if I told Matt and Yancy where the money was they’d still kill me just to get me back for leaving them behind. If I was going to die anyway, why give them the satisfaction of having the money after I was dead. If I couldn’t have it nobody could have it.
“I put it all away. I can’t touch it and neither can either of you. If I can’t have it y’all can’t either,” I replied, blurting out what I had been thinking.
“What, bitch?” Yancy spat. “Kill her fucking ass, Matt! Kill her I said!”
“Stop fucking playing and tell me where the money is,” Matt gritted. I watched him move his finger into the trigger guard on the gun. I could see in his face it was paining him to hurt me. Even though I had done some grimy shit to him, I could tell Matt was struggling against the little devil and the little angel on his shoulders. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to die. Not like this. Not at the hands of the man I once loved.
“Please, Matt, don’t do this. Everything I did you deserved. You did so many things to me over the years. I was just trying to give you a taste of your own medicine,” I pleaded. “I really don’t have the money. It’s all gone.”
“Fuck that! Shoot that bitch!” Yancy screamed at Matt over his shoulder. “She conned us out of all of the money. She don’t deserve to live,” Yancy pressed.
“Matt, please. I always loved you,” I begged some more.
“Tell me where the money is or die,” Matt said heartlessly. I could see little flickers of our old love in his eyes.
“I can’t do that. It’s gone . . .” I started to say.
BOOM! BOOM!
* * *
“Noooooooooo.” I bolted upright in the bed gasping for breath. My chest heaved up and down fiercely. I clutched my chest and felt that it was soaking wet. Fear gripped me in a suffocating hold around my throat. I was scared to look down at the hand that I had placed on my chest. Slowly I raised my trembling hand in front of my face and widened my eyes.
“Ahhh,” I let out a long exasperated breath. It was only sweat on my hand and not blood like I had dreamt. I looked down at my nightgown and there were no bullet holes in it. Another sigh of relief escaped my mouth. I whipped my head around and realized I was still in my hotel room alone. The same recurring nightmares of Matt and Yancy catching up to me had been paralyzing me for the two weeks since I’d left them high and dry with not even a dime of the money we had stolen.
“Damn, Lauren, you have to get it together. You can’t keep running off of one hour of sleep every night. You have the entire city to explore,” I mumbled to myself.
I tossed the duvet aside and climbed out of the bed. I raced to the safe in the hotel closet and punched in the code I had made up. The safe clicked open. I peeked inside. I pulled out the stacks of money that I had there and held them up against my chest.
“No one can take you away from me,” I spoke to the money. “You’re all I need in this life.” I laughed to myself at the fact that I was actually talking to the money like it was a person. It was something I had seen Matt do back in the day when he had it like that. Back then I thought it was the craziest shit I had ever witnessed. I couldn’t help but think about one of those times now....
January 2006
The sound of the five money counters flipping through stacks of bills had given me chills. Not in a bad way, but in an inexplicably good way. I felt like I was in some fairy-tale dream being around that much money. Yeah, I knew every single bill was dirty money but just being around it gave off such a powerful feeling. I had been with Matt a lot of years and never realized shit was this serious. It was an eye-opening experience to say the least.
Matt was trying to rebuild my trust at the time after being caught cheating again only two months before. Things he never allowed me to do with him were no longer off limits. I was with him everywhere he went so that he could prove to me that he was being faithful.
It was the first time Matt had allowed me to stay while his crew counted their daily take-in. They had been dumping bags and bags of money on three long tables. Coming out of the bags some of the money was in rubber bands, some was loose, and some was folded into bundles. The sound and the smell of the money had actually made the hairs on my neck stand up. Matt smiled at me when he noticed the look on my face.
“Why you looking so amazed, baby girl? You ain’t know how your man was getting it out here in these streets?” Matt asked me as he walked around like a proud peacock. I shook my head, but my eyes stayed stretched wide. I must’ve looked like a kid in a candy store with excitement shining in my eyes. Only a damn deaf, blind mute wouldn’t have been in awe of all of that money. There was another table right in front of me where the already sorted money was placed. It had piles and piles of cash on it. Crumpled bills, crisp clean new bills, big bills, and small bills were all piled in stacks that were the same height. I didn’t know how they got all of the stacks to look so perfect. Everything was moving like a well-organized business when it came down to counting the money. No one else in the room, aside from me, seemed fazed by the amounts or the process. They all had a job to do.
Matt’s crew members Ak, Boone, and Dread were all walking over, picking up large stacks of the cash and putting the stacks in the money counters. They’d listen to the money being flicked and counted by the machine, then they’d pick it up, slide a rubber band around it, and call off the digital number on the counter. There was a female sitting on the side of the table taking down the numbers each time a stack came out of one of the counters. She would then yell it back out loud for confirmation. I had to give it to them, they were moving like real professionals. It looked like what I would picture a bank doing at the end of the night before they put all of the money into the vaults.
“Fifty thousa
nd,” was the last number the girl had called out. My eyebrows went into arches on my face. One stack had equaled fifty thousand and there were plenty more to be counted up. Up until then, I had never been in the presence of that much cash in my life. I had been with Matt for years, but he had always meted out money to me in increments that satisfied him.
I watched Matt walk over to where Ak stood placing the already rubber-banded stacks into several large black duffel bags. Matt dug into one of the bags and picked up a couple of the stacks. He held them up to his nose and inhaled deeply.
“Ahhh. The best fucking scent in the world,” Matt said. Then he held the stacks up to his face and came eye level with them.
“They say y’all are the root of all evil but for me y’all are my savior. I’m always going to worship you. I’m always going to be good to you. You keep being good to me and I’ll keep putting you first. Nobody can’t take you away from me unless I let them. You’re all I need in this life of sin, fuck everything else,” Matt spoke to the money. I squinted my eyes and watched him. He was seriously speaking to the money like it was an actual person or like it was an actual higher power like God. I thought it was crazy then, but I slowly but surely began to understand. When you’re a slave to money nothing else really matters.
“You look crazy talking to that money,” I had said to Matt. He had a serious look on his face when he walked over to where I stood.
“It may look crazy but it’s reality, baby girl. Everybody in this world worships money. We can say whatever we wanted to say with our mouths but in our hearts and with our spirits we worship this motherfucka money more than any God, Allah, Yahweh, or Buddha. I’m just real enough to show it. Trust me, when you make enough or get your hands on enough of this shit you’ll become a believer. A motherfucka who says he wouldn’t kill his own mother for money is a lying-ass bastard, baby girl,” Matt preached to me with feeling.
