The Sounds of Secrets

by Whitney Barbetti

  Once inside the pool house, we went our separate ways to the bathrooms in the corners and I changed into my swim trunks that I’d bought on a whim in London. It’d been years since I’d swam, but I was looking forward to being in the warm water with Lotte, letting it lap over us gently. I imagined it’d feel good on her leg, too.

  As I was putting my pants back into the bag, my pill bottle spilled out and landed on the ground. I’d gone most of the day without them, and since I’d effectively weaned myself to a third of what I usually took over the last two weeks, I was surprised I hadn’t needed one since we’d entered the park. But seeing them now, I wondered if I should take just one, to ward off any potential headaches or grumpiness I might exhibit as the night went on. Just thinking of the other guys at the campsite caused me to pick up the bottle and shake one out into my palm.

  I didn’t hesitate and popped it right into my mouth and then scooped out water from the faucet into my hand to swallow it back with. I stared at my reflection in the mirror for a moment, ashamed that it’d taken little convincing for me to take a pill, but knew in minutes I’d feel so much better.

  But the truth was, I hadn’t felt awful before taking the pill. It’d been a weak moment, preparing for a night that I didn’t know what would happen.

  I stepped outside of the bathroom and saw the door to the other was still closed. I set my bag on the benches that lined the sides of the pool house. In the middle was of course the pool, and with the lights inside of the pool, it looked like clear ocean water in color. The rest of the pool house was relatively dim, and there were only a few people in the hot tub in the corner, so it was quite peaceful.

  I walked down the steps into the water, wanting to groan at how good it felt to have that warm water surround me whole. Once I’d walked all the way out to the deep end, I sunk fully under the water, and when I emerged, I had to blink to bring the pale skinned apparition into focus.

  Lotte was walking toward the steps into the pool, but she was still wearing her boot. I knew she’d had to have taken it off in order to take off her trousers, but curiously she’d put it back on. As my eyes glided up, I took in the small black straps of her bikini. It tied at her hips, and the triangles on the top barely covered her. It took everything in me not to stare at all that skin she was showing, not to remember the night I’d see her whole body and held it in my hands.

  I swam to the edge of the pool and leaned up on the ledge. “Hey there. You’re wearing your boot.”

  “I’m afraid to take it off.” She crossed her arms over her chest and got down to the edge of the pool, dipping her good leg into the water.

  “Did the doctor say it was okay?”

  “Yes. It’s not a weight bearing bone, so it’d be difficult for me to hurt it more than I already have. But this thing has been like a safety blanket for me the past few days. I’m afraid to go without it.”

  “How about you take it off, and I’ll hold you in the water. You won’t have to bear any weight on that leg at all if you don’t want to.”

  She looked reluctant. She was chewing on her lip and pushing her hands back into her hair. It was obvious that playing with her hair was a nervous tell for her, so I placed my hands over hers. “It’ll be okay,” I told her, and slid my hands down her arms. “Let’s take it off.”

  She started undoing the straps, and I helped her with the lower ones. When her leg was finally free of it, she sighed in relief. “It’s been such a pain in the arse,” she said on a laugh.

  “You’re emancipated from it now,” I told her. “Let’s celebrate.” Without waiting, I grabbed her waist and pulled her in, gently, but quickly. She grabbed my shoulders and emitted a small squeal as I pulled her into deeper and deeper water.

  Her skin was soft, but in the water, it was like silk. I wanted to roam my hands over all that skin like I’d done before, but I felt conflicted over what Ames had warned me with and over the way Lotte kept looking at me. There was no doubt that a connection existed between us. I just didn’t know what to do about it.

  I found myself staring at her lips, wondering when I would be able to kiss her again.

  As I walked backwards into deeper and deeper water, Lotte’s body came closer and closer to mine, until my hands found her thighs and encouraged her to wrap her body around my waist.

  And when she did, with her bikini bottoms right against my stomach, I squeezed the backs of her thighs a little tighter to ground myself.

  She just felt so damn good against me. I hadn’t forgotten that, not really, but I definitely wished it didn’t feel so incredible. Her arms tightened around my neck and I wrapped one of mine around her back, holding her firmly against me. The water was nearly to my chest, which left the majority of our bodies under water.

  “How is your leg?”

  “The water feels amazing.” She sighed and tipped her head back, getting just the ends of her hair wet. As she was tipped back like that, I could only stare at the line of her throat, and where it met her shoulders. She was so graceful, so beautiful, that I ached to lean forward and taste the skin of her collarbone. I knew, like I’d been distracted by her hands, that I had another body part of hers I wanted to draw.

  When her head came back, her eyes were closed a moment longer, and I had an urge to lean forward and kiss her. But the last time I’d kissed her, back in the hotel room, she’d abruptly pulled away after a while. Something had bothered her, and I didn’t want to make another move on her unless she made it first.

  “How’s your back?”

  I gave her a funny look.

  “You carried me most of the day. Doesn’t it ache?”

  I shook my head. “No. And I’d do it again.” As if to illustrate my point, I lifted her up in the water before bringing her back down. I had to bite back on a groan at the feel of her slick skin sliding against mine.

  “Mind if I get my head wet?” she asked, wiggling in my arms.

  “I don’t want to let you go just yet.”

  Her wide eyes widened even more and I felt the slightest bite of her nails into my shoulders. “Okay.”

  “Tell you what. I’ll hold onto your waist and you can lean back, your legs around me, until your hair is fully dipped in the water.”

  “That works for me.” She let go of my shoulders and leaned back, arms out to the sides like she was an offering, until her back was flat on the water. I held her waist, as promised, supporting her so she didn’t go under water.

  With each deep breath she took, her chest rose and fell and with her eyes closed and her lips in a lazy smile, she almost looked like she was dreaming. She was ethereal, her white blond hair splayed out around her like a crown. And she was, for this brief moment in time, mine.

  My thumbs brushed over her rib cage, and my fingers curled into her back. I just wanted to hold her as long as possible.

  When she came back up, my hands slid up her spine and lifted her until she was once again facing me.

  The tension in that moment was a tangible thing. She lifted her hand to my face and pressed her fingers against my facial hair. I didn’t want her to stop touching me, so I backed up until my back was against the pool wall and her mouth was inches from mine.

  I wanted her to be the one to lean in this time. My hands traveled further up her back until they met at the back of her neck. She was weightless in my arms, delicate and still strong. She had all the power over me, and I wanted her to take it.

  Her fingers moved down my beard until they were at my chin, which she tugged on until my mouth opened. And, like an answer to my prayer, she leaned over me and placed her mouth on mine so softly that it didn’t feel real at first.

  My hand tightened in her hair, because this time I wouldn’t let her get away easily. Her entire front was pressed against mine, in a sweet kind of torture that I wouldn’t trade anything else for.

  She deepened the kiss, using tongue and teeth to quickly seduce me. I wanted nothing other than to kiss her, but then I wanted more, I wanted
all of it, because of her. There was something insanely attractive about the kind of woman she was, something that I’d never felt with anyone else. Lotte was a different kind of magic, something that I held tentatively, knowing there was something special about her, something I couldn’t allow myself to ruin.

  She angled her head and her mouth widened and I devoured her, taking over. I couldn’t help it—there was something so insatiable about kissing her. I couldn’t get enough; I was a starving man with Lotte.

  Her hands climbed my back and dug in at the base of my neck. I turned us around, so her back was against the pool wall, and pressed my hips hard against her.

  She turned away to let out a pant and I brushed a thumb over her hard nipple, then dipped it under the top of her triangle. Not enough to expose her, but enough so that I could feel her skin against mine. My mouth went to her neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the skin there and she tilted her head away to give me more access.

  Her fingers twisted in my hair and pulled hard enough to make me see spots. It was a delicious kind of pain, and I squeezed her rib cage with just enough pressure to return the feeling.

  She was covered in goose bumps that I ran my fingers over, exploring every inch of skin. “I can’t stop touching you.”

  “Don’t,” she said. She pulled away enough so that our eyes met in the dimly lit pool. “Let’s go to the showers.”

  Chapter Twenty

  I couldn’t believe what a wanton little beast I was with Sam. Letting him touch me so intimately in the pool wasn’t enough, however, and I also didn’t want to retreat immediately to the tent with him, not when we’d likely have an audience.

  “You sure?”

  I pressed my forehead against his. “I’m absolutely sure.”

  “Where are the showers?”

  “We passed them on the way here.” I played with the hair that curled around his ear. “There are men’s and women’s restrooms, and each one has a shower.”

  “I’m not bringing you in the men’s,” he told me, his eyes flashing.

  I angled my hips against him, wanting to feel his body hard on mine for a while longer. “Then I’m going to have to sneak you into the women’s. Come on. Let’s go.”

  He carried me all the way out of the pool, even though I’d lost my weightlessness once we’d left the water. He set me down on a bench and grabbed my boot, hastily drying my leg off before snapping it on. “You feel okay?”

  “I feel impatient,” I told him, squirming. I’d never felt like this with another man, this desperate desire.

  He laughed, and it was possibly even more sexy than when he’d pressed himself against me in the pool. “You’re not my innocent little Lotte.”

  Hearing him call me his anything made me want to wrap my entire body around him and not let go. “I’m not the girl you thought you knew.”

  “I’m realizing that.” He grabbed my chin and pulled my mouth to his, planting a soft kiss on my lips. “I’ll carry your stuff.” He slung my bag over his shoulder along with his, and reached his hand out for mine.

  It felt so good to hold his hand as we walked in the darkness out to the bathrooms. Almost like what we were doing was something forbidden, but really it wasn’t. Well, maybe getting it on in the bathroom was forbidden—definitely forbidden—but just being together, out in the open … that was fine.

  Once we’d made it to the showers, I made Sam wait along the side of the building while I scoped out the inside. There was a line of stalls for the toilets, but at the end of the rectangular room were four private stalls for the showers. There was a girl brushing her teeth at the sink, and one person in a shower, but otherwise it was empty.

  I went back outside and met Sam. “There’s someone brushing her teeth, but once she’s gone, you can sneak down to the last stall. I’ll keep an eye out.”

  Sam smiled down at me and twirled my hair. “You’re a little reckless, aren’t you?”

  “I am, with you.” He had thrown a tank on, and it was soaked from his wet skin. I wrapped my hands around the straps and pulled him down until he was kissing me again.

  He just tasted so good, and even though we hadn’t had the talk about our earlier kiss back at the hotel, there was no need for me to pull away now. He was lucid, he knew he was kissing me.

  I felt a breeze at my back and turned, watching the girl with the toothbrush walk away from us. “Coast is clear.” I pulled him up the stairs to the girl’s bathroom and poked my head in. Steam billowed out of one of the stalls where the other woman was still showering, but the stall was completely private so she couldn’t be seen and couldn’t see us.

  “Okay, go,” I said, pushing him into the bathroom while I kept an eye out. He disappeared in the last stall and I waited a few seconds before entering and following him.

  As I pushed open the door to the last stall, it gave way easily and Sam was there, picking me up and spinning me around after locking us in.

  My legs wrapped around his waist and he turned us under the spray he’d started already. Warm water poured over us as Sam pressed his lips to mine.

  “Get this off,” he said softly into my mouth, moving his hand down my bare thigh until he touched my boot. “I’ll hold you up.”

  It was unsurprisingly hard to unbuckle the boot, especially when Sam was pinning me against the wall. I could feel every bit of him, rock hard pressing against my center through our swimsuits.

  But, true to his word, he held me up, pinned to the wall as I reached over and undid the Velcro and straps holding it to my leg. His lips moved across my shoulder, nipping and sucking, distracting me from my task.

  I let out a little giggle and Sam pressed his fingers against my mouth. “Shh,” he warned, with laughter echoing in his eyes. I nodded at my boot and he took over, sliding it gently off and setting it to the side, still keeping me pinned to the wall the whole time.

  When I was facing him again, he kissed me hard enough to push my head against the cool tile wall. He was strong, and he wasn’t gentle, and I loved it.

  “You can let me down,” I whispered, feeling bad that he was holding me up for as long as he was.

  “Shh,” he said again, pressing his hand against my mouth. “And no.” He gave me a wicked grin, and I felt the strings on the sides of my bikini go slack against my skin before the material dropped to the floor with a loud plop.

  I had to stifle a laugh again, but Sam’s fingers were still over my lips, keeping me quiet. When I opened my mouth to protest, he slid two fingers inside and I closed my lips around them.

  He leaned in until I could feel his breath at my ear. “Suck,” he whispered. Tingles erupted all over my body, but I did as he commanded and sucked on his fingers until he pulled them out and shoved them between my legs.

  Even though I was ready, I wasn’t ready for the way his fingers dove and shifted and curled. It was an assault that sent my body climbing faster than I knew how to deal with. My hands found his shoulders, nails digging in, and my head fell back against the tile hard, but I couldn’t feel anything except the skill of his hand, and the warmth that spread from me inside out in the most deliciously violent way.

  My jaw went slack, and sounds spilled out of my lips, out of my control. I saw stars as my body erupted in his hand.

  As I was panting through the climax, I felt fabric in my mouth a second after I registered that Sam had removed my bikini top. I bit down on the bikini when his mouth latched onto one of my nipples and tugged.

  I clawed at his shoulders, trying to climb as high as he was taking me, but I couldn’t. Just when I thought I was coming down, I was soaring again. He curled his fingers inside of me and it was a damn good thing he’d gagged me with my own swimsuit because I couldn’t stop writhing, couldn’t stop making noises.

  When the second orgasm hit, I was even less prepared for it than I was the first. Tears pricked my eyes from the sensation, but Sam wasn’t done.

  “Open your eyes, Lots,” he said, and though it felt
like a massive effort, I did as he asked. I was still seeing spots when I looked at him. My lids felt heavy, but I watched him slide the condom on and hook my body more fully to his. My limbs wanted to go slack, my body spent from climaxing twice in such a short span of time.

  When he slid inside of me, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I didn’t think I had it in me to climb again, but after less than a minute of him pounding into me, that fire ignited again and soon, I was clawing his shoulders again.

  I felt frenzied, wanting this to go fast but also wanting it to go slow. It was as if nothing would satiate me, I just wanted more, more, more. More Samson. More this.

  He ripped the bikini from my mouth and replaced it with his lips. His tongue speared into my mouth at the same pace as his hips thrusted against mine and the simultaneous sensation was enough to make me whimper and start thrusting my hips in time with his, wanting to meet him with equal measure.

  And when he dropped his head to my shoulder and his pace increased, I felt a third orgasm tear through me. His hand let go of my leg to cover my mouth as he panted his own release into my neck.

  We were still for a long time after, his face buried in my skin. The water beat, uninterrupted, over us.

  It took me a long time to catch my breath, but in the meantime I rolled my hand over his back, soothing him as I soothed myself. As the cloud of my climaxes dissipated, the pain of being pressed against the tiles set in and I shifted, trying to get more comfortable.

  “Oh, sorry,” he said, and turned around until he was sitting on the bench, still secure with me on his lap. He leaned back against the wall and I stayed on him, arms around him like a lazy hug. My entire body felt so lax, so spent, that all I could manage was a few lazy circles on his skin, soothing the skin I’d scratched up earlier. Angry red lines decorated his tanned shoulders, and I almost felt a little bad about it. But I knew I had similar marks on my skin from his mouth, so I didn’t feel that bad.

  He shifted us so he wasn’t inside of me, but didn’t let me go. His arms found movement again as he rubbed down my spine, and his breath on my neck turned even. When I pulled back and met his face, he framed mine with his hands, tenderly pushing my hair away.