Fated: An Alpha Male Romance
Page 8
We idled and my eyes darted everywhere except his face. He looked nowhere else but my face.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he said, taking a step closer to me.
“And I don’t want to leave,” I answered.
“You don’t have to.”
“I only got permission for three —“
“Please, just stop right there.”
He increased the distance between us and leaned against the hood of my car. He was agitated and made no effort to try to cover it up.
“What did I say?” I asked, closing the gap that he’d created. “What’s wrong?”
“You don’t need permission from Roderick to do anything.”
I groaned. “Ethan, it’s a complicated —”
“No, it’s not, Alle. I don’t even know why you entertain his bullshit in the first place.” His brow shot up. “Why do you entertain his bullshit? You can’t tell me that you’re happy with him.”
I simply stared at him.
“Go ahead, Alle. Tell me that Roderick makes you happy and I promise you that I’ll leave you alone.”
Panic had never found its way through my veins quicker than it did at that moment. “What do you mean, leave me alone?” I asked. “You mean stop doing what we’re doing?”
“Tell me that he makes you happy, Alle.”
“Just so what, you can leave? Or, are you just looking for an excuse to make a clean exit?”
“Alle, you were just about to tell me that you had to ask for fucking permission from this man to be out of the house like you’re some kind of child.”
“That’s what couples do, Ethan!”
I immediately regretted using the word “couples” when I saw something flash in his eyes. What we were doing was already wrong. It didn’t help to keep selfishly throwing that in his face, but then turn around and be unable to resist him.
“Fuck it.” He pushed himself off of my car and started towards his, but stopped when we were standing side by side. “And, for the record, that’s not what ‘couples’ do, but thanks for reminding me.”
Then, he continued walking.
I reached for my door handle but pulled my hand back when I noticed it shaking. I didn’t want him to leave and especially not like this. He'd teased a piece of me out of the world that Roderick, my parents, and society had trapped me in, and I had no intention of stepping back in. However, I couldn't fully venture outside of that world without knowing what would be there to meet me on the other side.
“Ethan, wait.”
I turned around.
He was right in front of me.
“I can’t even fucking walk away from you,” he said before tugging me into his body, and covering my mouth with his.
The only way to explain what I did next was simply that I melted into him. I made a noise that was somewhere between a sigh and a moan and fused with him. My hands went behind his neck and he cupped my butt in his palms, eliciting a spread of heat that roamed from my inner thighs to a place deep inside me. In that moment, as long as I had Ethan, I didn’t need food, sleep, or oxygen. I needed this man more than I needed my next breath.
He somehow navigated our bodies into my car and onto the backseat without releasing his grip. My body eagerly awaited his touch — his fingers, his mouth, his tongue — and he held my face between his hands, kissing me deeply. I tugged on his sweater until I’d pulled it over his head, and then reached for his belt. Once I’d gotten his clothes off, he peeled every inch of fabric away from my skin so slowly that I nearly passed out from need.
I eased onto my knees and his lips latched onto my nipple. I could feel the evidence of my arousal seeping and saturating my folds, so I began shamelessly pleading with him to tug on the condom.
He took my hand and maneuvered it to my clit. It automatically began to move, and he mimicked the movement of my fingers over the sensitive organ with his tongue flicking against my nipple. Yet, as good as it felt, I needed him.
“Ethan, please.” I ran my wetness over the head of his erection and he released a deep groan. “I’m sorry for what I said. I want you. I’m sorry.”
He grabbed my hips and I held my breath, releasing it only when I felt his wonderful thick length stretching me as he slid inside. I exhaled at the feeling of fullness extending inside me, and he watched my lips as though he could literally see the breath from my gasp.
I rode him with expert-level precision, feeling quite proud of myself as I watched the different shades of pleasure take over his face. He pumped his hips into me while I bounced on top of him, the feeling of every inch of him stroking me from stem to stern. It finally made sense how a woman could get addicted to a man. Ethan flowed through my veins, leaving me dizzy and unstable without him. I inherently knew that I would never feel this way if I wasn’t with him. It was borderline psychotic to think that way, but he had me in another dimension where our bodies were the only two entities that existed.
Everything about me and Ethan was equally wrong and right, and it was the first time I’d ever encountered a situation like it in my life. I loved being with him both physically and non-physically. I loved touching him and the sound of his voice whenever he said my name. I didn’t think I could stop being with him even if I’d tried, which was also a first for me. Simply put, I felt melded to him.
I wouldn’t ever feel this way with Roderick, but I was still comparing apples and oranges. Roderick was safe: his expectations of me were damn near laid out in bulleted-list fashion. My parents accepted him as my father pretty much chose him for me. He’d been a seamless integration into my life.
However, my feelings for Ethan were charging forth at a speed that couldn’t be measured. When we weren’t together, I had to fight my desire to be wherever he was; my need for him. If circumstances were different, I would choose Ethan over and over again. He made me feel things.
But, the most difficult part of the entire scenario was that despite Ethan’s accomplishments, he wasn’t my parents’ choice. Therefore, he would automatically be deemed unacceptable.
My head was damn near in the clouds when I heard the sound of his deep, orgasmic moan and the feeling of his pulsing shaft as he came, leeching my own orgasm out of me. My loud screams surprised me and turned me on at the same time. I wanted more. So much more. So, I told him.
“Again.” I kissed his neck, his ear, his mouth, his nose, and his eyelids. “I want you again, E.”
“Again?” he asked with a lazy, sexy, sated grin.
“Again and again and again.”
He laughed, a sound that I’d come to love hearing.
“As you wish, your majesty.”
Chapter Six
* * *
Ethan
No matter the occasion, I had to see Alexandra, and it was getting to the point where I tried to have her with me as much as possible so that alternately, she was spending less time with Roderick. Judge me if you want to, but I’m not the only person who’s ever had that moment when you meet someone who, when you know that you’re going to see them, makes even your skin feel different. It starts getting ready for them to touch you and then you can’t get enough of them touching you. Everywhere. I’d even stolen her away for a Saturday lunch just so that I could take her back to my place, lower her onto my bed, and have her wrap herself around me. We don’t like to admit it, but men love that shit. All it had taken was her slipping her smooth leg between mine for me to be inside of her again seconds later.
Did I mention that this was my train of thought while I was in the middle of my presentation at the American Academy of Pediatrics conference in San Diego? To be fair, Alexandra was sitting front and center, her hair pulled back in a sleek bun so that I could divulge in every shadow of her beautiful face. Eli and Gia had been a few rows back, and when Alexandra had first mentioned that they were tagging along, I’d been a bit apprehensive. Apparently, Eli couldn’t pass up a chance to explore the hiking in San Diego, and Gia never passed up a chance to travel.<
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I’d assumed that by now, at least one of them would have pulled me aside to warn me to count myself out. That I was no match for Roderick, I wouldn’t fit in with their family, or whatever other excuse they could come up with to question the legitimacy of my relationship with Alexandra. But, neither had. We talked and joked openly. We were actually getting along much better than I could have ever anticipated.
We’d gone to the beach, tried new restaurants, and agreed to join Eli when he went hiking. Gia had tried to talk us out of it, but it wasn’t until several hours into the hiking expedition that we figured out why: we were blazing through our third hiking trail and Eli didn’t look even slightly fazed. In fact, each session had only seemed to invigorate him. I was in extremely good shape, but still had a hard time keeping up with him. The man was an android.
“Eli,” Gia called, panting and bent over. One of the thick, brown stones jutting up from the ground and Alexandra’s tired, unstable shoulder were the only things holding her up.
“Yeah, baby?” he answered.
“If we go on one more trail today, I promise you that I am never having sex with you again. Ever.”
Alexandra laughed, her shoulder gave out, and they both fell to the ground. We stood watching them, and I was grateful for the small break.
“I did go a bit overboard didn’t I?” Eli asked, rubbing the back of his head.
“I can’t feel my toes,” Alexandra cried. “And don’t stand there looking like you’re not tired, Ethan. Your face is damn near hot pink and it’s not because it’s hot out.”
I tossed up my hands in resignation. Every muscle in my body was sore and my lungs were on their knees in prayer, but I wasn’t about to admit to it. Eli would have to be exhausted to the point of paralysis before I thought about giving in. I didn’t want to choose this particular moment to wimp out in front of Alexandra.
“I’m fine,” I lied.
Her eyes challenged mine. “You’re fine?”
I forced back an incriminating cough. “Yeah.”
“All right, then let me get on your back.”
“Good idea,” Gia jumped in. “What about it, Eli?”
Eli and I exchanged a look. “I’m game,” he answered. “One condition, though.”
“And what’s that?” Alexandra asked.
“Catch us,” I replied.
Eli and I took off running and I was somehow able to find the energy to keep going until we reached the summit. An entire twenty minutes later, Alexandra and Gia came hobbling up, and Alexandra didn’t stop moving until she fell into my arms. I kissed her damp forehead as she leaned back into my chest, and the four of us silently stared out at the sunset. She reached for my hand and brought my palm up to her lips, and I pressed another kiss against her forehead. There, leaning into my body like that, she belonged nowhere else. It wasn’t even a thought; it was a feeling. It was as though she was supposed to be there with me. She was supposed to be mine, but I couldn’t definitively say that I knew what to do with that. What was supposed to happen next?
We sat until the sun was partially obscured behind the horizon before making our way back down to the car. When we got back to the hotel, we parted ways with Gia and Eli. I jumped in the shower with Alexandra, but unlike our antics from the night before, this time it was to actually help her take a shower since she couldn’t extend her arms over her head.
We ordered sandwiches and soup from room service for dinner, and crawled into bed afterwards where it took her several minutes to position herself against my side.
“The soreness will be gone in a few days,” I reassured, lazily stroking her arm. “It’ll get worse first, though.”
She groaned. “We should’ve left them in Louisiana. Crazy ass couple.”
“No, I’m glad they came,” I said, laughing. “This was nice. With my two closest friends no longer close by, it was good to hang out with your sister and her husband, even if I’m convinced that he doesn’t have normal human anatomy.”
She laughed but then grabbed her abs in pain as they contracted. I lifted the tank top she was wearing, the only thing she’d been able to pull on from the bottom up, and caressed her stomach. She’d pitifully tried to struggle into a pair of shorts but I’d rescued her from her torture and told her to leave them off. It was easier to grab her ass this way anyhow.
My hands shifted lower as I remembered.
“Ethan, as much as I —”
“I know,” I cut her off, kissing her nose. “I wasn’t even thinking about it.”
“Really?”
“Well yeah, but I wasn’t going to act on it.”
She laughed and grimaced in pain, so I continued my gentle stroking along her stomach.
“I like this,” she said. “Falling asleep in your arms. I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time now.”
“Oh?”
“Yes.” She looked up. “Do you like having me here?”
I smiled and touched a kiss to her lips to give her a direct answer to the question, but caught a slight hint of disappointment on her face before it quickly disappeared.
“Tell me about your mother,” she said, clearing her throat. “Where is she now? Do you see her?”
The abrupt redirection of the conversation caught me off-guard. “No,” I answered. “She’s incarcerated.”
If her arms hadn’t been so tired, I knew that she would have pushed herself up on the bed at that exact moment. Instead, I felt her muscles try to tighten against me.
“What for?”
“If it’s okay, I don’t want to talk about it, Alle.”
It was an honest reply. It was easier now than it was years ago to say that my mother was locked up, but the “for murder,” part had never actually left my mouth. To anyone. It wasn’t information that I felt like anyone needed to know and I didn’t need anyone’s sympathy. She’d done what she thought was a good idea at the time, never thinking about the fact that she’d be leaving behind a little boy, so I didn’t waste any time thinking about her. She’d made her choice, and I hadn’t been it.
“Okay.” Her voice went flat. “I’m sorry. Are you upset?”
I kissed her eyelids and waited for them to flip open so that I could look into her eyes. It was like someone had squeezed a teaspoon of honey each into them to create the amazing, glowing irises.
“I’m not upset,” I replied. Then, for some reason, one of the questions that had been vacationing in the back of my skull decided to come forth at that precise moment. “Alle, if it weren’t for Roderick, do you think that your family could accept me?”
“Because you’re white?” she asked, with a teasing grin. “If you haven’t noticed, Roderick pretty much is too, but he pulls out the one-sixteenth Cuban when he’s vying for the ‘Hispanic’ vote.”
I trailed a path down over her nose with my index finger. “I mean, all of me,” I clarified. “Not just the successful, medical practice-owning pediatrician, but the kid who grew up in poverty and was born from a single-mother that’s now in prison. The kid whose biological father is most likely an ex-pimp, drug dealer, or both.”
I’d expected for her to take a few minutes to mull over the question, but her response was swift.
“No.”
“No? And you’re sure about that?”
“I’m one-hundred percent certain, Ethan.”
Disappointment crushed me like a weight. Although I hadn’t known quite what to expect, I hadn’t been expecting such a definitive answer. Spending the day with Gia and Elliott had left me feeling as though I could possibly fit into at least part of her family, and that maybe if Alexandra and I eventually did pursue a relationship, it would not be at the expense of her losing her family. That wasn’t the life that I wanted for her. I wanted to give her things, not be the cause of the foundation of her existence to be taken away.
“Oh.”
“But,” she weaved our fingers together, “they wouldn’t accept a swearing, independent decision-making, gypsy
skirt-wearing, maybe I want to own a bakery instead of working with medical offices, Alexandra. Yet, I’m trying to make sure that knowing that doesn’t stop me from being that version of myself, if that’s who I want to be.”
“But, hypothetically speaking,” I went on. “If we were to try pursuing a relationship, you would lose them.”
She shook her head. “No, Ethan. They would lose me. If it’s their choice to let their daughter go because she wanted to be with the person of her choice, then that’s on them.”
“But wouldn’t that be asking a lot? I mean, it would be a lot to give up just for me. Hypothetically speaking, of course.”
She laughed. “Maybe, but look at what I’d be gaining.”
Her answer reverberated all the way to the soles of my feet, and I leaned over and trapped her lips as though they would otherwise float right off of her face. In that instant, I knew exactly what was supposed to happen next. What I wanted.
“Wait,” I leaned back, “did you say that you wanted to stop working with the practice and open a bakery? You want to leave me?”
It took her a few seconds, but she managed to get her hand up to the back of my neck to run her fingers through my hair. Her eyes slowly moved between my eyes and mouth. Then, her gaze fixed with mine.
“No,” she replied. “Never.”
-----
Alexandra
I’m in love with Ethan Michael Stewart.
It was all moving so fast — too fast — but I couldn’t slow it down even if I tried. My heart was bursting with love for this man and the realization was so heavy that it shook me. It had taken no time at all. I’d assumed that love took months and months to develop, but I’d cut my feelings off at the pass. It was here, raw and bold.
I managed to slip out of his sleeping grasp and off of the bed although every muscle in my body pleaded with me to stop moving. I stood there watching him sleep for a moment, wondering how it was possible to find his masculine face both handsome and adorable.
I searched around in the dark for my cell phone and crept to the bathroom. As expected, I had missed calls from both my father and Roderick. I decided to call Roderick first.