“She’ll be right down,” Grandma Evelyn answered. Then, when my mother disappeared, she took my hands in hers. “Alle, look at it like this. Gia and Elliott are a true match. You and Roderick are a lukewarm match. Some people might have had to settle for lukewarm because they will never meet their true match, and that they can make work, but you are luckier than those people. You had the opportunity to spend the last two years working alongside yours. If I hadn’t intervened, you would have never had the chance to explore that relationship.”
I hopped off the bed. “Grandma Evelyn, even if I was somehow able to believe in what you’re saying, you’re implying that you gave me and Ethan some sort of concoction that caused us to end up together. That punch. So, in reality, our entire relationship was built on something false.”
“No, it was not,” she asserted, standing. “Look, the punch was nothing but a facilitator. It’s just a drink laced with alcohol that eventually leads to the lowering of inhibitions. There’s nothing mystical or magical about it. Everything that happened between you and Ethan was real. Think about it like this: if it had been the drink, wouldn’t you two no longer have feelings for each other once it was out of your system?”
This time, it was Roderick who showed up in the bedroom entryway.
“Everything okay in here?” he asked, eyeing Grandma Evelyn. “By the way, we’re ready for you downstairs again, Alexandra. We have to pick wedding venues on camera, but first we have to pick them off camera. The one we agree on, we have to pretend to disagree on in order to incite drama.”
Grandma Evelyn pulled me close and leaned near my ear. “Think about what I said, Alle.”
I agreed and walked over to Roderick. Before we left, I turned back towards her. “By the way, Grandma Evelyn, what happens to those people that live in misery?”
“Ah, the cold ones,” she replied. “Those that don’t share any heat.”
“Yes. What happens to them?”
“They get married and end up having two beautiful daughters whom I have the pleasure of calling my grandchildren.”
Her answer bolted me in place, and my legs only began to move when Roderick tugged on my arm to pull me down the stairs. My mind suddenly went back to the Christmas Eve banquet and the look that I’d noticed on my mother’s face. The one that clearly said, “I’d rather be anywhere but here.” I’d assumed that it was in reference to the party, but never did I realize that it could have possibly been in reference to her marriage.
Chapter Thirteen
* * *
Ethan
I’d never once considered myself to be a masochist, but the definition seemed to fit when I thought about the fact that I didn’t ignore the social media stories updating where Alexandra and Roderick were with their wedding planning. Apparently, like he’d said when he was in my office, the wedding was happening quickly. There’d been just a little over a month between his proposal and the big event…which was somehow already only two days away.
I wanted everything to be over with so that I could move on with my life, but wasn’t sure why I had no desire to move on beforehand.
Anita timidly walked into my office. “Dr. Stewart?”
“Yes, you can Anita,” I immediately answered, already knowing what she was about to ask. “You can still take off early for the Easter weekend.”
She grinned and clasped her hands in front of her face. “Thank you, sir, but that’s not why I’m here. Someone’s here to see you.”
My heart suddenly ticked up in speed.
“It’s Gia Westwood,” she replied, shaking her head as if she’d read my thoughts. “But, she doesn’t have Kai with her which means that maybe she’s here to talk about Alexandra?”
“You know, you’ve been the only person brave enough to actually bring that up to my face,” I said, reclining in my chair. “Which is surprising since you’re the quietest person in the office.”
She lowered her eyes briefly. “Well sir, to be honest, I personally think you two are pretty amazing together. Your relationship brought a lot of life and raw energy to the place. Plus, and no offense, I’ve been watching the TV show. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that she’s not happy. I just hope that she comes to her senses soon and doesn’t go through with it.”
She didn’t give me a chance to respond, which I felt was done on purpose, before she waved Gia into the room. Gia walked in wearing a form-fitting dress whose pattern looked like a mix between modern and tribal print. Her hair was in what Alexandra had once explained to me was a style called “Marley twists,” and she’d somehow found extension colors that matched her highlights perfectly. Just looking at her face brought every single memory I held of Alexandra to the forefront.
“Eli’s not with me so don’t worry,” she said, leaning in for a hug. “I’m not here to go for a run.”
I laughed. “That’s good news. I’m actually surprised to see you, though.”
“Why is that? Is it because my sister hasn’t fixed her mistake yet?” She leaned against the side of my desk. “You forget that I’m the family shame. The rules don’t apply to me.”
“So, you just came to see me because you missed my company so much?”
“Partly. I’m really here to see how you’re doing. You know, check up on you.”
“I’m pretty good.” I paused. It was a ridiculous question, but yet I still asked, “How’s Alexandra?”
“Faking it until she makes it, I guess,” she answered. “Look, Ethan, I just need to know if you believe what my grandmother said about the punch.”
“The hunch punch?” I echoed her words. “I’m not entirely sure, but it’s really the only way I’ve been able to explain the intensity of my attraction to Alexandra. Even if it was something that I’d never experienced before, I could still tell that it was a bit extreme.”
She shrugged, eased down off of the desk, and grabbed a piece of candy from the bowl in my seating area. “Unless there’s another explanation. Has Grandma Evelyn ever told you about her concept of being ‘rooted’ to someone?”
I shook my head.
“She has this notion that she can tell when two people are a perfect match,” she went on. “That they’re supposed to be together. The first time she ever said that about me and Eli, it was before we even pursued a romantic relationship. The minute we did, it was crazy. It was like he had control over all of my five senses — six if you include the fact that there are times I can literally feel his pain. And I don’t mean that I start hopping up and down if he stubs his toe. I mean, when his mother was sick, I could literally point to all the spots on his body that ached because I felt them at the exact same points.” She shot the wrapper in the wastebasket. “Any of this sound familiar to you?”
“Are you asking if I felt that way about Alexandra?”
“I’m asking if this is how you feel about her.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. This was another one of those instances where talking to a woman could pull someone in two different directions. I didn’t want to talk about my feelings, but at the same time, I kinda’ did.
“Ok, so you don’t want to answer,” she resigned. “You’re a man. I get it. Keep this anyhow.”
She fished a piece of notebook paper from her purse.
“What is this?” I asked.
“It’s the venue where the wedding is going to take place.” She nonchalantly grabbed another piece of candy and then sauntered to the door. “I believe in my grandmother’s notions, even though they might seem a bit outrageous. Some might even say that crazy Gia would believe in something like destiny, fate, and folklore. But, something inside of me knows that I can’t be the best version of myself with anyone but Eli, and I am one-hundred percent sure that my sister feels the same way about you. I just don’t know what’s holding her back. Alle has a true chance at happiness with you and I’m just as sure that you’d love her without an end in sight. Even if you don’t do anything with that information, I’ll be damned
if I stand by and watch her make the biggest mistake of her life.”
Then, she was gone.
I looked at the paper, suddenly feeling as though I was a participant in a secret mission to carry out a coup. With every fiber of my being I wanted to storm the hotel, completely ruin everything, and get my woman back. But, on the other hand, she was an adult. She’d made her choice. Who was I to interfere with something that she had complete control over?
I pulled open my desk drawer to put away the paper, but my mother’s letter came sliding forward. I stared at it until my eyes began to absorb the coffee colored stains and then, with a grunt, pulled it out. I began to tear at the top and for the first time noticed that there’d been an address printed on the flap. I briefly wondered if it was where my mother was now living since her apparent release from prison.
The letter inside was undamaged and as I read her print, I remembered the sound of her voice as it danced between my ears:
Ethan,
I know that I am several years, and possibly decades, too late in writing this. I know it probably won’t make a difference if I tell you how long I’ve been thinking about doing it, but it’s been a while. I just never knew what to say to you or what kind of apology I could offer that would allow you to forgive me.
I think about you every single day. As much as I hated not being close to you, I was still happy to know that Dad raised you to be such a distinguished man. If you’d stayed with me, you would have never gone to medical school, that’s for darn sure. You probably wouldn’t have even finished high school since I wasn’t steering you in a good direction at all. But, I’m rambling.
I’m writing to tell you that I got released early and didn’t have to serve the entire thirty five years. I want to see you, but I wanted to write first since I’m not sure how you will receive me. I’m staying in a pretty decent place in Tampa, FL. I actually got a job working for a small repair shop doing their customer service stuff. The pay’s pretty good and in no time, I should be able to afford a small condo for myself in North Tampa.
I want to explain to you why I did what I did, but not in this letter. I want to see your face. I want to hear your voice. I left my address and phone number at the bottom. Please come see me. If you can’t, call me. I know I messed up a lot, but I still love you more than life itself. You will always be my little boy.
I love you Ethan.
Mom
The stamp on the letter indicated that it had been written four years ago which meant that the chances of her living at the same place were slim to none, especially if she’d purchased that condo that she’d mentioned. But, I needed to get out of town for the weekend anyhow and couldn’t think of a better reason than confronting my mother.
I didn’t know if it was the physician in me, but I needed answers. There was nothing more frustrating than having a little patient come in, obviously in distress, with a set of symptoms that pointed to nothing I could find in medical journals or through contacts with colleagues. As hard as I worked to help alleviate my patients’ distress, I wanted the same for myself. I simply wanted to know why she’d chosen to kill John Ezra instead of leaving with me in the middle of the night like she’d originally proposed.
I tucked the letter back into the envelope and began to collect my things. Then, behind the letter, I inserted the little slip of paper that Gia had left.
-----
Alexandra
“Rick, no.” I pushed at his chest until he moved over to his side next to me on the bed, an obvious erection tented in his shorts. “I can’t do this.”
“She says again for the fourth night in a row.” He readjusted himself until the front of his pants went flat. “I don’t know what you want Alexandra. You’ve been rejecting me left and right, yet you were able to put out for Dr. Stewart all over the damn city.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
I stood, but didn’t offer a response.
“How do you think all of this makes me feel?” he asked, hopping from the bed. “We put two years into this thing, Alexandra, and you didn’t even have the common decency to say anything to me about Dr. Stewart. I had to find out on my own.”
I hated that he was simultaneously correct and an asshole at the same time. Even with the bland feelings that I’d had for him, if he’d done the same to me, I would have been spewing the exact message. I wasn’t sure if I would have been devastated, but there would still be an underlying feeling of breach of contract.
I’d always seen my relationship with Roderick as a business transaction of sorts. He was virtually a nobody in the senate hopefuls until it was revealed that he was seriously dating General James Miller’s daughter. Naturally, after that, I’d assumed that I was his ticket to winning and that I would have to carry on with the muted marriage, children, and life so that he could be successful. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but I’d understood it.
In between all of that, I’d assumed that he’d never developed any feelings for me over those two years, and that my time with Ethan was all about my liberation, not my personal responsibility to Roderick. I still couldn’t believe how much I’d ruined everything by failing to realize that I would have never overcome my fears by keeping my emancipation in the dark. There was no point in change if I was still pretending to be the same person in the eyes of others.
“I’m really sorry Rick,” I said with as much sincerity as I could. “You didn’t deserve that. I was, without a doubt, extremely selfish. But, I can only make things right by being honest with you now, and I honestly can’t make you happy.”
“This was never about happiness.” He walked around the bottom edge of the bed until we were only a few feet apart. “This was about business. You reneged on your part of our contract.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Alexandra, this is politics,” he explained. “I’ve wanted to go into politics for as long as I could remember, but even with all of my family’s wealth, I would still lose out to the guys whose last names were all people needed to hear in order to vote for them. You’d assume that with a last name like Hamilton, it would be enough.”
I stared at him, not entirely sure where he was taking his story.
“Then, when I met your father and he introduced me to you, the single and available daughter of a beloved four-star general, I knew I had my chance. Hell, Alexandra, I would have married Malia Obama if she were old enough and I’d gotten the opportunity.”
I involuntarily took a step back. “What?”
“The only thing that you were required to do was be a presence, pump up my name, and help uplift my campaign while keeping that ‘daddy’s little good girl’ image in public. Two years in, two fucking years Alexandra, and you’re having sex in restaurant parking lots in the dead of the afternoon. What if someone had caught you?’
“How do you know about that?” I asked.
“The same way I know about your affair. I had someone follow you.”
As crazy as Roderick could be at times, I instantly knew that this wasn’t his idea. A private investigator had my father written all over it. My father had everyone followed: my mother, anyone new that entered our lives, and even Gia until she’d cornered the retired detective and knocked him over the head with a wedge sandal.
“My father had me followed,” I corrected. “Am I right?”
“It was his idea,” Roderick answered. “But I had to agree to it. Your behavior was erratic and I wanted to nip it in the bud before someone found out and it ruined everything I’d worked hard for.”
“But if people found out that I was cheating, wouldn’t that just make you look better?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Not if you’re cheating with a God-damn saint.”
Then his expression changed, reminding me of the look on his face from the afternoon he’d hired the professional ballroom dancer. There were a few moments that he looked almost human, and I found myself feeling sorry for him during th
ose times. He’d been no different than I was. We were both children who were once innocent, but over time were molded into little caricatures with preset destinies. There’d been way more to gain on his end, but he was no less a victim.
“Hear me out, Alexandra,” he added. “Marry me. It won’t be anything like what I presume you’d have with Ethan, but that bridge has been burned. Get over it. Just know that I’ll never hit you and I’ll try not to talk down to you. I’ll even give you considerably good looking children. Then, after a spell, I couldn’t care less if you decided to venture out and find what you think you’re missing. As long as you do it discreetly.”
There wasn’t a hint of insincerity on his face.
“Do you really think that you could be okay with that?” I asked him. “Don’t you want love?”
“Love is overrated, Alexandra. Look around you — this isn’t the magical world of Disney. Marriages are now business mergers. People are starting to realize more and more that ‘happily ever after’ is a construct. It’s not about personal happiness; it’s about economic security and genetically viable offspring. The world’s not the same from when your parents were in their youth.”
In that way, he was incorrect. The discussion that he was having with me was what I pictured happened between my parents, but without the actual words. My mother was raised to be my father’s partner, but not his match. My father’s aim had been to find a woman to carry on his arm that had no blemishes in her background and came from a stellar family. With my mother, he’d knocked that goal out of the park.
“And how long do I have to make this decision?” I asked.
“Well, the wedding is only a couple of days away.”
I fished my robe from the bathroom. “Ok. I’ll be right back.”
“And where are you going?”
“I need to speak to someone.”
He groaned. “Dr. Stewart? Thought he wasn’t taking your calls?”
Fated: An Alpha Male Romance Page 18
