Color Blind

by Michelle Lindo-Rice

  Annie chuckled at her friend’s paranoia. “Whatever.” She couldn’t expect Sari to understand something she herself didn’t understand. Her attraction to Saul Sweeterman had been unexpected, but…oddly welcomed. She was glad that she found Saul when she had. After she’d helped him to the restroom, Annie cleaned up the mess in the kitchen. He had been so vulnerable and clung to her. She used that opportunity to pray for him.

  Annie was glad that Saul finally listened to her and would be consulting with a vision teacher. He needed to learn how to adapt to living without his sight. She sighed. What he really needed was a psychiatrist—and God.

  Her eyes gravitated towards his sleeping frame. Though he’d been grateful for her prayers, Annie’s heart flip-flopped when he asked, “What does God want with me?”

  How she wished she’d used the moment to minister to him. Instead, overcome with emotion, she’d done nothing, but hold him. “I’ll do better, Lord. Next time I get the chance, I’ll share more of You,” she whispered.

  Her next time was sooner than she anticipated.

  It was Wednesday night, two days since she’d taken on her live-in assignment. Annie felt at peace in Saul’s home. He’d moved into the bedroom downstairs and had offered her his master suite.

  “I can’t take your room,” she protested.

  “I insist,” Saul returned. “It’s the best room in the house. You’ll love the view of the water.”

  “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll move into one of the other two rooms upstairs. You mentioned a girlfriend. I can’t see any woman being okay with that.”

  “Don’t worry about my girlfriend. The room is yours to use. She caught a bad bug. I’ll explain when she gets here, tomorrow.”

  She switched subjects. “The vision teacher is coming tomorrow to work with you and then we’ll have our session.”

  He nodded. Annie heard him clear his throat. “I never thanked you for the other night, for being there. I don’t know how you knew to come, but I would’ve fallen apart if it weren’t for you.”

  Annie appreciated his sincere words. “I would’ve done it for anyone,” she demurred, knowing she wasn’t being honest with herself. She excused herself and retreated to her room after that.

  She settled into the silk sheets and couldn’t help stirring at the thought of Saul Sweeterman lying here. Her senses awakened. She was a woman with needs and it’d been awhile. She exhaled. “Lord, keep me true and my actions pure.” She inhaled his woodsy scent that lingered in the air. This wasn’t a good idea. Sari was right. Why had she moved in with him?

  He looked like a Greek Adonis. Attraction between a man and woman was powerful. Would she be able to resist his charms? She groaned. This was torture. Images of him in this bed, in his shower, touching where she touched plagued her mind.

  “Ugh,” she jumped up. “I can’t sleep.” She turned the television on but with all the channels, nothing captured her interest. Her mind was filled with the blue-eyed hottie downstairs.

  Giving into impulse, she donned a robe and wandered through the kitchen until she was standing outside his door. She pressed her ear to his door. She heard wails and moans coming through the door. Annie put her hand on the knob to enter before she stopped herself.

  She was the hired help. Going into his room was a no-no. There was the big question of what was she doing stalking him outside his bedroom door. She heard another muffled scream and her instincts took over for her.

  She was a professional and recognized posttraumatic stress disorder when she heard it. He was reliving the crash.

  “No! No!” he screamed.

  Decision made, she pushed open his door. She saw a tortured man. Moving on sheer instinct, she grabbed his hand.

  Chapter Nine

  Why was he standing by his bedroom door afraid to enter the kitchen? Because the woman in there had seen him in too many vulnerable positions, that’s why. He felt like a punk.

  But, he wasn’t. He had been asleep. He couldn’t control his dreams, or in this case, his nightmare.

  He pressed his ear to the door, listening to Annie puttering around in there. His cast was supposed to come off today. She would be taking him through a new physical therapy regimen today. But, he could do none of that if he didn’t open the door.

  Saul opened the door and made his way towards her voice. She had the radio on 91.7FM and was singing along to a Christian song. As he listened to her melodious voice, he wondered what she looked like. He imagined her as a blonde, but she was so peppery that he decided she had to be a redhead. A redhead with green eyes.

  “What color’s your hair?” he bellowed upon his entrance. He heard her squeal of surprise and cracked up.

  “Where’s your cane?” she asked.

  “I didn’t need it,” Saul said dismissively. “Now answer my question, what color’s your hair?”

  “It’s various shades of brown.”

  “What about your eyes?”

  “Dark brown,” she supplied.

  So he was wrong on both counts, but he wasn’t disappointed. “You sound beautiful,” he smiled.

  “Thanks,” she drawled. “Do you want something to eat?”

  He sniffed the air. He smelled eggs and bacon and remembered he hadn’t eaten much the night before.

  “Yes, I do. You didn’t have to cook though. I would’ve made do with something.” His stomach growled. There was no pretending she didn’t hear that.

  “I didn’t mind, and I don’t think your stomach does, either,” Annie said, walking away from him.

  Saul liked listening to her movements as she retrieved plates and shared their food. His heart tripped. It sounded clichéd but his heart warmed at her presence. “Will you read to me? Psalms 91 again.”

  “How can I refuse reading you the Bible? Psalms 91 is a powerful piece of scripture because it shows how much God protects us. He was with you during the accident for sure. How many men can say they would be able to walk after a crash like that...”

  Saul listened as she rambled on, liking her voice. She had such positivity and promise, which made him feel as if he could do anything.

  “I’m going to church this Saturday, and please know, you have an open invite to come with me,” Annie stated.

  He didn’t want to hurt her feelings but it had been ages since he’d stepped foot inside a church. The last time he’d gone had been for his wife’s funeral. Nevertheless, he said, “I just might take you up on that.”

  “I’m more than happy to have you with me. You would love Pastor Noah Charleston. He is a dynamic preacher and expounds on the word so that even a baby can understand. He’s on television as well.”

  Saul smiled. “I’ve never heard him.” If it weren’t for Annie’s enthusiasm about God, he knew he wouldn’t have even entertained the discussion. “Does your pastor do counseling?”

  “Yes, he has a degree in mental health counseling. Do you want me to set up an appointment for you?”

  “Let me think on it a little,” Saul hedged. He’d take things one step at a time.

  “Can we talk about last night?” she asked. He could hear uncertainty in her voice and listened keenly. “It sounded like you were having a bad dream. I didn’t think to knock. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

  Saul was quick to assure her. “I’m glad you came in and held my hand. It helped. I keep reliving the accident or my fights with my daughter. I can only hope that these will lessen in time.”

  All of a sudden, he ached for a human connection. “I know this sounds like an odd request but, can I touch you?” he asked. “I want to know what you look like?”

  “Sure. Without your sight, touching is a good way for you to get to know people.”

  He nodded at her professional tone. His senses heightened as she drew closer to him. When she was in proximity, he lifted his hand to tenderly outline her face. Her skin was smooth and soft. Her nose had a slight tilt and her lips—oh, those lips felt full and luscious.

&nb
sp; “You’re beautiful.” Saul licked his lips, suddenly wanting to place his over hers. Whoa. Where had that thought come from? Caught off guard, Saul moved his hand as if he’d been burnt.

  “Afraid I’ll bite?” she giggled.

  Her laughter tickled his senses, and he cracked up. A kitchen towel made its way to his face. Saul’s chest heaved. It’d been awhile since he laughed with such exuberance.

  “Well, I must say it feels good to return and hear you laughing. What’s so funny?”

  Saul tensed. He knew that voice. He swung towards the voice. “Annie, I’d like you to meet—

  Annie gave a squeak. “Macy Masters! Macy Masters is your girlfriend?”

  Chapter Ten

  Don’t think about her.

  Try as she might, it was impossible not to. When Saul mentioned a girlfriend, Annie pictured a beautiful everyday woman—a schoolteacher or a banker, not a supermodel like Macy Masters. Her face was splattered on billboards. She couldn’t compete with that.

  Not that she was trying to compete, per se. She sniffed. She didn’t stand a chance so she might as well get any fancy notions out of her head. Saul viewed her as his therapist and nothing more.

  Annie grabbed her coat. She needed to take a drive. She called Sari to see if she was available. Unfortunately, Sari had been called in to work.

  She wandered into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to see if anything inside there enticed her stomach buds.

  “In the mood for a snack?”

  Annie jumped and slammed the door with a thud. “I didn’t see you!”

  Macy smiled. She was seated at the breakfast bar crunching on a big bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios. Annie eyed her with fascination.

  “Don’t let the tabloids fool you. Many of us do eat and we eat healthy,” Macy said.

  Annie shook her head. “I wasn’t… Well…” She shrugged. “I did believe the stereotype. I would’ve expected you to be eating wheatgrass or tofu.”

  Macy threw her head back and chuckled. “I see why Saul likes you.”

  He liked her? Yeah, but he told his girlfriend, so he didn’t like her like her. She kept her voice neutral. “I like him, too. He’s a joy to work with.”

  Macy arched her brow. “Are we talking about Saul Sweeterman? Because he’s a boar when he’s sick. He ran us all out of his room. He mentioned you called him on it.”

  Evidently, Saul told his woman everything. Annie relaxed. “I only told the truth.”

  “Yes, but you don’t get it. Many of us tell him about himself too. He never listens. However, he listens to you.”

  Annie bit her lip. Macy had a pensive expression on her face. She didn’t know what to do, so she re-opened the refrigerator door and pulled out some turkey meat and all the trappings to make a sandwich.

  “Ooh, can you make me one?”

  Annie’s mouth popped open.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Macy laughed. “Where do I put it? Saul says I eat like a horse.”

  Annie nodded. “If I ate like that I wouldn’t be able to fit through the door.”

  They heard the click-clack of Saul’s cane and turned in his direction. He looked like he’d just awakened from a nap. “I thought I heard noises in here.”

  “Annie and I were just getting better acquainted,” Macy said. “She was talking about how she fears getting fat.”

  “I don’t think she has to worry about that,” Saul replied. “She seems very fit to me.”

  He couldn’t see the sharp look Macy threw his way, but Annie could. She busied her hands.

  “Do you want a sandwich?”

  Saul faced her way. “I told you that you don’t have to do any cooking. Macy and I would have gladly ordered carryout.”

  “It’s only a sandwich,” she recountered. “Do you want one or not?”

  “All right, feisty lady. I’ll have two.” Saul waved at her.

  Macy held a hand towards her. “You, see Annie. That’s what I mean.”

  Saul crooked his head. “Meant about what?”

  ***

  “What did you mean by what you said earlier?” Saul asked Macy that evening. They were lounging in the lanai as Annie had decided to go to the movies. He recognized that was her way of giving he and Macy some privacy.

  “You’re different with her,” Macy said.

  Saul wished he could see her face. Something about her tone heightened his senses. “How different?” He reached his hand out to search for hers. He smiled when her fingers grasped his.

  “I don’t know, exactly. Your face glows.”

  Saul used his free hand to touch his face in a reflexive action. “I glow.”

  “Maybe glow isn’t the right word. You’re happy and you listen to her.”

  He wasn’t sure how to respond to her statement when he couldn’t gauge her mood. “So you want me to be angry and nasty?” he chuckled.

  He felt her slap his hand. “No, silly. I want you to be nicer to me.”

  Saul withdrew his hand. “Is this about us not sleeping together? Macy, I’m going through a big ordeal right now and I’m barely finding my way. I thought you understood.”

  “I know you’re going through a difficult time and I can’t even begin to imagine what I would do if I…”

  Saul gritted his teeth. “Say the words. You don’t know what you would do if you were blind. Blind. Blind. I’m blind!”

  In a huge swoop, he swung his hand across the table. The lemonade jug and glasses all landed on the tile with a loud crash. Macy inhaled.

  “There you go with that awful temper of yours! You need to control yourself. I know you’re blind but you don’t need your eyes to make love to me. We both have needs and maybe if you got some you wouldn’t be so…disagreeable.”

  “I can’t believe you! You’ve been crowned the most beautiful woman in the world and you’re throwing a tantrum because I’m not swooning for you. Forgive me if I’ve been caught up in the fact that I can’t see!”

  Her heels protested as she dragged the chair across the tile. Her heels hit the floor with a vengeance. Where was she going? Within seconds, Saul heard Macy’s muttering and heard the vigorous sweeping of a broom.

  “Move your feet!” she commanded.

  Saul complied. He released a long breath. “Macy, I’m sorry.” He heard a hiccup and knew she was crying. “Darling, please don’t cry.”

  “You like her. Admit it. That’s why you won’t touch me. You have her in your bedroom and we’re sleeping in separate bedrooms.”

  Saul wasn’t about to admit to something he wasn’t sure about. “You never liked my bedroom, remember? You said the color scheme was depressing which is why you decorated your bedroom down the hall.”

  “Yes, but…”

  “But, what? You told me you liked Annie. You said she was good for me.”

  “But that was before I saw you with her.”

  Saul lifted his hands to the heavens. “I’ll never understand how the female mind works. Macy, you’ve never been the jealous type. You’ve never questioned or wondered about my loyalty before.”

  “She’s beautiful,” Macy supplied.

  He’d wondered about that but he knew better than to continue that conversation thread. Instead he asked, “What makes Annie different from the countless women you’ve seen me with at the dealership?

  “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me? What makes Annie different from all the other women at the dealership?”

  Chapter Eleven

  “I’m sure your girlfriend would’ve been happy to take you,” Annie declared.

  “You’re right. She would have but Macy is jet-lagged. I couldn’t ask her to drive me down here. Besides, she has another job in Japan. This is a brief layover. She’ll be gone again in a day of two. He wasn’t about to admit that he and Macy had gotten into a fight because of her.

  Truthfully, Saul hated that Annie had to be his guide. He wasn’t use to depending on anyone and he wanted to drive himself into town
and handle his business. “I’ll be back in a minute.” He made it out of the car but cringed when Annie had to get out to help into the front door.

  “Saul!” Greg greeted him.

  Saul gripped Greg’s arm. “I came to see how things are going,” he joked.

  “I’ve got him,” Greg said. Saul knew he was talking to Annie.

  “I’ll be in the car,” she said.

  Within thirty minutes, he was in her car and they were back on the road.

  “How’s everything?” she asked.

  “Greg has everything under control and he went over my earnings assuring me all is well,” Saul replied.

  “It must feel good to have those around you whom you can trust.”

  “Yes, it does. He was with me from day one. I trust him with everything. He’s Cassandra’s godfather. Speaking of which, he urged me to pay her a visit. Would you mind if we went by her house?”

  “No, what’s the address?”

  Saul recited the address that Greg had provided. He didn’t want to tell Annie that he’d never set foot in his daughter’s home—didn’t even know where she lived. Her house was twenty minutes away from his dealership in the next town.

  “Is she expecting you?”

  He knew the question she was really asking, and answered, “No, but I’m going anyway. If I wait on Cassandra to respond to me, I might enter another lifetime. Greg advised me to just show up.”

  “I agree with him,” Annie said. “My family lives in Jacksonville, and believe me, if I were freezing my parents out, they’d be at my door.”

  A thought occurred to him as she mentioned her parents. “How do your parents feel about you living with me?”

  He heard her hesitate before she said in a low voice, “I didn’t tell them.”

  “Say what?” Saul wished he could see her face. He used her voice as cues to determine how she was feeling but there was nothing like being able to look a person in their face.

  “I don’t know why I didn’t tell them,” she confessed. “I’ve also limited my conversation with them to about five minutes, or else I’ll be spilling the proverbial beans.”