Dazzle Me (When You Dance Book 1)

by Juliana Haygert

  Rayna and I sat on the floor in front of the laptop. Her leg brushed against mine before she folded it over the other.

  Her cheeks heated. “Sorry.”

  Despite my best effort to remain neutral, one corner of my lips tugged up. “It’s okay.”

  Then, Madam Petrov hit play and I tried with all my might to pay attention to the movie on the screen instead of the girl beside me.

  ***

  Rayna

  We watched several versions of the Romeo and Juliet pas de deux—some from NYBT, some from other famous companies. All with great dancers. And, in all of them, the dancers kissed. In a couple of versions, the kiss was a quick peck. In most versions, though, the dancers kissed not once, but twice—the first kiss was a brief peck, and the second was a longer, though technical kiss. Still, their lips touched. For real.

  My stomach felt queasy.

  Please don’t make us kiss. Please, please don’t make us kiss. I kept repeating the phrase in my mind as if Madam Petrov could hear me, hear my plea, and change the ending.

  After an hour watching videos, Madam Petrov took us to the center of the classroom, and facing the mirror, she started talking about how she envisioned us performing the scene. She wanted us to take a little from each version, added some flare of her own, and in the end, we would kiss.

  “You two are actors in a sense,” she said, looking at Josh and me. “But you’re not Hollywood actors. No need for those big movie kisses, but you must show some emotion. You have to make the public believe in the despair of your love.”

  Josh and I exchanged glances through the mirror. I noticed his jaw ticking. Oh my … this was bad. If I could run and hide and never come out, I would have done it.

  But this was my opportunity, damn it. I wasn’t going to pass it up.

  For the next hour, Madam Petrov walked us through the steps and moves we were supposed to perform. And for that hour, Josh and I had to dance together. To touch. To be close enough to breathe the same air.

  During the first scene, I stood at the balcony, looking at Romeo down below. Then I went down the pretend stairs and ran from one side of the stage to the other, again looking for Romeo. From behind me, he grabbed my hand, and, without looking at each other, we walked forward, hand in hand, until we faced the public, Juliet’s and Romeo’s nervousness stamped on our faces. Then, we turned to each other and I rested his hand above my chest, so Romeo could feel the crazy pumping of Juliet’s heart.

  It wasn’t pretend.

  I was nervous and my heart was thumping. When I rested Josh’s hand above my chest, I saw him swallowing hard, his big, blue eyes on mine, showing me he too was nervous about this.

  Then, Juliet dashed away to one corner and watched as Romeo danced alone for a few moments, with love and longing and excitement and fear.

  This would be too damn hard. Besides being super romantic, Romeo and Juliet was an emotional ballet with several scenes where the actors didn’t just need to dance, but also to act. The balcony scene was one of those.

  After a minute or so of dancing, Romeo sneaked a kiss on Juliet’s cheek.

  At that moment, Josh hesitated.

  “Mr. Connelly, what’s the problem?”

  He shifted his hard gaze from me to Madam Petrov. “Nothing. I’m just …” He didn’t finish. Instead, he continued the scene by cupping my cheek with one hand and bringing my face to his. His soft lips grazed my skin and I stopped breathing for a moment.

  Josh went off for a few more spins and jumps, before I ran to him and pirouetted in his arms.

  That was only the first three minutes of an eight-minute dance, but we repeated it at least five times, with Madam Petrov changing little details here and there as we went along. But she never changed the hand holding or the loving stares and the kisses. In fact, I thought she often expected more.

  By six in the evening, my emotions were raw and I was spent.

  Madam Petrov dismissed us at 6:06 p.m., and I rushed out of the classroom before anyone could see me shaking.

  ***

  Josh

  The guys had gone to the pub yesterday, but I was able to convince a few of them to go with me this evening. After my first rehearsal with Rayna, I deserved a cold beer—even if I had to break out my fake ID to get it.

  “Now tell us,” Wu asked, slapping the butt of his bottle on the table. “We want to hear why in the hell Mr. McCauley picked you.”

  I crossed my arms over the table and lifted one eyebrow at him. “Are you saying I’m not good enough?”

  Wu shook his head. “Not at all. Just … there are a lot of great dancers in the company. I’m just wondering how you got it. That’s all.”

  I shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know.”

  “And with Rayna Monroe,” Bastian said, seated in the booth beside Wu. He turned to Zack. “You’re her partner. You probably know if the rumors are true or not. Did her mother help her get in the company?”

  I felt Zack’s entire body tense, even though he was seated a decent distance from me. “I don’t know. Ray and I don’t talk about that.”

  “Ray …” Wu said in a singsong voice. “Already so cozy.”

  It was my turn to get all tense.

  Zack groaned. “She’s just a friend, Wu. Drop it.”

  Bastian chuckled. “Okay, okay. Who cares if she had help getting in? We’ve all seen her dance and she’s great.” He faced me. “Right? She probably did really well during your rehearsal.” I nodded at him, though today’s rehearsal had been anything but good. “Besides, the girl is pretty.”

  “She’s hot,” Wu said, nodding.

  The tension in my muscles increased and I clenched my hands in tight fists. So much for nice evening to relax after two excruciating hours of rehearsal, instead these fucking bastards decided to talk about the one girl I didn’t want to talk about.

  My thoughts went back to rehearsal. While we’d watched the movies, everything had seemed tolerable, but after Madam Petrov started showing us the moves and Rayna and I began dancing and touching … she had looked miserable.

  I sighed, feeling miserable.

  “You’re one lucky guy,” Bastian said. “Dancing with Rayna and Martha. Both are pretty hot girls.”

  I cringed. Martha had been assigned as my partner on my first week with the company and, even though she was pretty and danced well, she was a complete snob. She loved putting others down, and her current target was Rayna.

  “Can we change subjects?” I snapped. “I’m not in the mood to talk about those girls.”

  “Agreed,” Zack said quickly.

  Bastian and Wu exchanged a suspicious glance, but soon they started talking about how they got into the company and summer intensives and years of practice. We all shared our stories—which made me even tenser, since I had to lie to them about that too.

  I gulped down my beer and ordered another.

  ***

  Rayna

  Three days later, Sienna and I were at the theater, watching another group rehearse.

  As a big patron of the company, Sienna had access to these rehearsals. And during performances, she had access to one of the VIP side boxes.

  Sienna sat back on the velvety chair and sighed. “I love this. Being here, watching ballet. Besides singing and performing, this is my favorite thing. Well, watching the real performances is better, but the rehearsals are nice too.” She smiled at me. “And now that you’re here, it gives me more time with you.”

  I pulled my feet under me and watched as the group entered the stage, starting their contemporary dance. “This is nice,” I said, trying to return her smile.

  The rehearsals with Josh had been hard. Nerve-wracking. Soul wrenching. Heartbreaking. He never said much. We only spoke when needed to, and we did all Madam Petrov asked of us. But holding hands and kissing cheeks was already too hard, too intimate, too dangerous.

  Imagining myself kissing him for real made me feel as if I would burn from the inside out. It made me w
ant to jump on him and finish what we had started over a month ago.

  And it also brought on all the shame and embarrassment I lived that night. It made me want to run out of the classroom and hide in my bedroom for the rest of my life.

  I sighed.

  “Too bad, huh?” Sienna asked. “I was hoping that dancing with Josh would start in the classroom and finish in bed.” She winked at me.

  I slapped her shoulder and she faked an “ouch.”

  “It’s bad,” I said after a moment. “I mean …” I pressed my lips together. I had known Sienna since we were five years old. We became best friends in middle school, and she knew me better than anyone else. There was no reason to lie to her. “It’s hard. The balcony scene of Romeo and Juliet is an emotional one. There are so many longing gazes, and loving touches, and lingering kisses.” I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms. “This … it’s messing with my head. We haven’t even gotten to the end, where we’ll have to kiss for real. I’m not sure I can do it.”

  She reached over and squeezed my hand. “Of course you can. You’re strong. And talented. You can do this.”

  I squeezed her hand back. “I think you give me too much credit.”

  “Ray, remember the time you stood up to a bully who was harassing Norah? And the time when you broke your arm and the emergency room was so crowded, you had to wait for hours until you were finally admitted, all the while having to endure the pain?”

  Sienna would have kept going if I hadn’t interrupted her. Zack had entered the stage and I pointed at him. “That’s my partner.”

  “Oh.” Sienna leaned forward and rested her arms over the metal railing. “He … he’s cute.”

  I scoffed. “He is. Unfortunately, he’s not the one occupying my thoughts.”

  Sienna turned her head to me. “So you do like Josh?”

  I hid my face in my hands, took a long breath, and then peeked at her through my fingers. “Like may not be the correct word.” I lowered my hands and rested them on my knees. “He … I don’t know. Infuriates me? That isn’t the right word either. When we’re dancing together, it’s like …” I pressed my lips into a thin line. “It’s lovely and agonizing at the same time.”

  Sienna smiled at me. “It looks like you’re past liking.”

  “What? No!” I turned my gaze back to the stage, but I wasn’t really seeing the dancers there. I shook my head once, hard. “I just want this competition to be over with, so I can go back to ignoring him.”

  “Suuuure,” Sienna teased me. “Whatever you say.”

  I slapped her shoulder again. “Shut up.”

  “Hey, stop hitting me.” She motioned toward the exit with a fake frown. I could see she was trying to hold back a smile. “I have bodyguards, you know. They can beat the crap out of you.” I laughed and her smile broke out. “Look at that. Despite everything, you’re still laughing.”

  With a small smile on my lips, I sighed. “Well, the situation isn’t ideal, but it’ll be okay. We’ve only had four rehearsals so far, but he’s a great dancer and he’ll be a great Romeo. If I can push myself, we might actually win this competition, and then things will change around here.”

  A knot appeared on Sienna’s forehead. “The rumors? Are they still bothering you?”

  I nodded. “I swear I try ignoring them, but it’s not easy. Especially because I sometimes think they are right.”

  “Whatever! I’ve seen you dance so many times. I might not be an expert, but I know a good dancer from a bad one, and you, my friend, are a great dancer.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re just saying that because you’re my best friend.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. But do you really think Devin would have chosen you for this competition if he thought you were just good? He chose you because he thinks you are great.”

  I smiled. “Next time I see you, I’ll give you a trophy for best friend of the year, okay? It will look great among your Grammys and the other two hundred awards you have.”

  Her green eyes twinkled. “Oh, it’ll be my favorite. I’ll put it in the best spot on my shelves. In front of all others.”

  I shook my head at her. “You’re impossible.”

  She winked at me. “Glad we agree on something.”

  Chapter Seven

  Josh

  Every evening, Rayna bolted from the classroom the moment our rehearsal ended. Most days, she even left before Madam Petrov and our pianist.

  But on the eighth day, it all changed.

  Our pianist had a cold, so we had to rehearse with a recorded song playing through speakers, and Madam Petrov had another appointment she couldn’t get out of, so she left us alone an hour early.

  As soon as Madam Petrov stepped out of the classroom, Rayna and I froze on opposite sides of the room, staring at each other.

  Color spread through her cheeks and I knew she was embarrassed again. At first, I hadn’t known what was up with her and why she kept avoiding me, but after we started dancing together, it was pretty easy to pick it up. She was embarrassed about that night. She probably thought that I thought she was easy and that she slept around. Which was exactly the opposite of the truth.

  “So,” I started, turning to the stereo on the corner. “Start over?”

  “Yeah,” she said, her voice low.

  I pressed the play button and positioned myself. The music began, and Rayna and I became Juliet and Romeo.

  We made loving faces at each other from a distance, and then she came down the pretend stairs and ran from me, until I caught her hand. We froze, faced the mirror, and then stared at each other. With a demure smile, Rayna let go of my hand and I set out to dance alone for a minute. I was insanely aware of Rayna standing in the corner, making loving Juliet faces at me.

  Then, I danced around her, and stole a kiss on her cheek. This time though, for some reason, my lips lingered on her skin, and I heard Rayna’s sharp inhale. I stood there for two seconds too long and had to hurry to the next moves. I went out for another round of jumps and spins, until Rayna ran at me, and I caught her as she started pirouetting.

  Halfway through the dance, I lifted her over my head, with both her legs pointing toward the ceiling. Then, I lowered her, turning her around so I had her delicate form cradled in my arms. She looked at me and I looked at her. She was supposed to wrap her arms around my neck and bury her face on my shoulder.

  But then Rayna stiffened and pushed her legs down. I let her go and, without looking at me, she quickly gave a step back. “I think … I think we can start over.”

  “Rayna …”

  “One of the lifts,” she said, too quickly, taking another step back. “I had my arms wrong. We need to start from the top.” She turned her back to me and walked to her initial position.

  I didn’t know what she was trying to avoid. The touches? The kisses? We hadn’t even really kissed yet. Yes, we had rehearsed several times until the end of the performance, but every time, she turned her face right before I went in for the kiss. For now, Madam Petrov said nothing, just stared at us with a frown, but I was sure that soon she would start demanding we did it for real, and then … and then I didn’t know what would happen.

  With a heavy sigh, I went back to the stereo and returned the song to the beginning.

  ***

  Rayna

  Oh my God, I couldn’t do this. I just couldn’t.

  It was too damn much.

  All this touching and gazing and loving and … ugh, I was being torn apart.

  Josh restarted the song and we restarted the dance. And again, when he had me in his arms, I froze. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t just wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his shoulder and inevitably inhale his musky scent—especially not with no one else watching. Before, I had gone through this pain for Madam Petrov’s sake. Why would I put myself through so much suffering if there was no one benefiting from it?

  I pushed him back and told him another lie. “I … I got confused with the s
ong arrangement and forgot my next move.” I flinched, noticing how ridiculous my excuse sounded.

  “Rayna …” he said again. He said my name in such a pleading manner. Not fair.

  “We sh—”

  He marched to me and held my upper arms. “Rayna, stop.” I widened my eyes at him, shocked by his attitude. “I know … I know what you’re trying to do and, unfortunately, it won’t work. For us to be able to dance well and win the competition, we’ll have to push through whatever reservations we have about each other and just dance, the way we are supposed to.” I almost flinched again.

  My cheeks heated up and I took a step back, freeing myself from his grip. “I …” I shook my head, not sure what to say.

  “Why don’t we do what you suggested on our first day here?” He extended his hand to me. “Hi, I’m Joshua Connelly, but I prefer Josh. I’m from a little town in North Carolina and moved here about six weeks ago.”

  I stared at his outstretched hand. This wouldn’t work … I slipped my hand in his, extremely aware of how well they fit together. “Hi, Josh. I’m Rayna Monroe. My friends call me Ray. I was born and raised here in New York.”

  One corner of his lips tugged up. “Ray. I like that.” He didn’t let go of my hand. “Say, Ray, how about we give this dance one more try before calling it a day?”

  Reluctantly, I nodded. Josh grinned at me, making my heart skip a beat.

  “Great,” he said, finally releasing my hand. He jogged to the corner of the room and put the song back on. “Here we go.”

  This time, we danced through the entire song. When it was time for the intimate embrace, I did my best not to freeze up and held my breath while my cheek was against his shoulder.

  But I still couldn’t do the kiss. During the first peck, I turned my face and Josh kissed my cheek again, and during the last, longer kiss, I embraced him, once more holding my breath so I wouldn’t be intoxicated by his addicting scent.