Dazzle Me (When You Dance Book 1)

by Juliana Haygert

  I put the beer bottle in my lips and emptied it in one go, then threw the bottle in the sink.

  “I’m sick and tired of all of this,” I said, my voice low, controlled, but even I could hear the anger laced in each word. “I tried to be the son you wanted. I was miserable, still am. And you never cared. Even when I try being a macho man, in your definition, and work for you, you still don’t think it’s enough for me to earn your respect. Well, guess what? I don’t care anymore. I finally know where I belong and I won’t let you take that away from me.”

  I marched past him, not bothering to look back.

  “What are you talking about? Where are you going?”

  I didn’t stop as I answered, “I quit.”

  ***

  Rayna

  “No, that’s not …” I laughed, giving up. The little girls kept missing the steps and tripping and then giggling at the end. I giggled with them. It was so damn cute; I couldn’t be mad. Plus, didn’t everyone love seeing the little munchkins making cute mistakes on stage? They would be a hit during the winter recital.

  For the last ten minutes of class, I put Sienna’s new single. Everyone loved it and boogied it the song. Me included.

  After the parents retrieved their little dancers, Miss Danvers called me into her office. I had been in there countless times, but I could see her entire demeanor was more serious and stiff than normal.

  Once we were in her office, she gestured toward a chair. “Sit down, please.”

  Swallowing hard, I sat down on one of the armchairs across her table. “Did I do something wrong?”

  Miss Danvers sat on her chair and a sudden smile stretched across her lips. “Relax, Rayna. I think I have good news for you.”

  My shoulders sagged in relief. “What do you mean?”

  “You’ve been a tremendous asset over the years and I know you love my studio. Because of that, I want to offer you a full-time position here.”

  I stared. I couldn’t possibly have heard her correctly. “W-what?”

  Her smile widened. “Now that you’re no longer with NYBT, I thought you could join us here. If you want the job, of course.”

  A wave of joy filled my chest. “Of course I want it.”

  My mind raced as Miss Danvers reviewed my new schedule. Working here full time … it was like a dream I didn’t know I had, had suddenly come true. I couldn’t believe it was happening. This was the place where I had always felt home, where I was the happiest—besides when I was dancing with Josh.

  Pain shot through me as I thought of him.

  Refusing to ruin the moment, I shoved it back and forced my brain back to the present and this wonderful new opportunity I’d been given. And, in the future, after I had a few years of experience at my back, I could open my own studio. That would be amazing.

  Just like that, a sliver of hope bloomed within me. Finally, after all the mess with my mom and NYBT and Josh, I could see something good happening, something that could help me deal with the pain of my broken heart.

  ***

  Josh

  I came in when I knew everyone was busy with the morning classes, so I could simply walk into Mr. McCauley’s office without being bombarded with questions. I had called before coming and his secretary informed me he would see me whenever I got here.

  So, here I was, sitting across from Mr. McCauley, while he stared at me with his elbows on his desk and his hands clasped together. “I must say, I’m glad your father is doing better.”

  “I’m glad too, sir.” Which was the truth. Just because we didn’t get along, didn’t mean I wished him ill. Quite the opposite. If I wanted to live my life, I needed him strong and well so he could take care of my mother and sister. Besides, he was my father and that should be enough.

  “As you know, performance season just started and, if you want in, you’ll have to work extra hard to catch up.”

  Hope wormed its way into my chest. I had been so afraid he would ask me to sit this season out. “I want in, sir. And I promise you won’t regret it.”

  He let out a long sigh. “All right, I’ll figure out a way to squeeze you into some of the performances. Good thing you’re such a superb dancer, otherwise I would put you on the bench during this season.”

  I fought to hide a smile at his compliment—I didn’t want to appear smug. “Thank you, sir.”

  He gave me a sharp nod. “All right, now go get changed and meet with Madam Petrov in studio E after morning class is over. She’ll help you catch up.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  I left his office with such relief blooming in my chest. Now I just had one more thing to figure out before it was too late.

  I was changing in the locker room when Zack came in.

  “Josh! Hey, man, wasn’t expecting to see you around so soon.” We shook hands. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m … good, I guess.”

  Zack pulled his drenched shirt up over his head and fished a new, clean one from his locker. “How’s your father?”

  “Better.” My tone was clipped and I hoped he got my meaning.

  “Good,” was all he said as he slipped the fresh shirt on.

  I finished putting on my shoes and stood, ready to begin my day despite having spent the previous night on the train. It had been so long since I had really exercised, I knew I would get a pretty hard beating this first week back.

  “Good to have you back, man,” Zack said. He whirled around, heading for the door.

  “Hey, Zack,” I called out and he turned to face me again. “I know … I know Rayna quit, but do you know how she’s doing?”

  Zack pressed his lips together as if considering whether or not he should tell me. Then he finally said, “Alicia’s my new partner now and she told me what happened between you and Rayna.” He tsked. “I know Ray went out to see you yesterday and you practically slammed the door on her face.”

  Fuck.

  “That was …” I sighed. “I was a jerk to her and there’s no real excuse for that.”

  “Then you’re going to stay away from her now?”

  I frowned. “I didn’t say that.”

  “I see.” Zack crossed his arms. “Alicia told me Ray is working at The Dancer Corner now. They have their winter performance tonight.”

  One corner of my lips tugged up. “Thanks, man.”

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Rayna

  Everything was going well.

  We were already halfway through the performance and nothing had gone wrong so far.

  And my little munchkins, my youngest class, were coming up soon.

  “Rayna,” someone called me and my insides stiffened.

  Slowly, I turned around and faced my mother. “What are you doing here?” I kept my voice low so as not to disturb the dancers on the stage behind me.

  “I …” She pressed her lips into a thin line, and then let out a long breath. “I might not agree with your decisions, I might not like what you’re doing here, but like you said, this is your life and your choices and, as a mother, I should try to be happy for my only child. Emphasis on try.”

  I smiled a little. Only she could turn an attempted apology into a cold speech. But I was also happy she was trying to reach out. “Well, in that case, I’m glad you decided to come.”

  I explained to her that The Dancer Corner always had this winter performance where the tickets were purchased with toys to be donated to Toys for Tots, and that the theme of the performance was, like the title suggested, winter. Each class danced to a Christmas song. We also teamed up with a small music school, and the performances alternated between dancers and musicians.

  My mother didn’t look interested, but she listened without complaining once.

  When her attention turned to the dancers on stage, I sent a message to Alicia and Sienna.

  Me: My mother is here.

  Alicia: No way.

  Sienna: What is she doing there? Need me to send some of my goons?

  Me:
All good, I think. She says she wants to try to be happy for me. Whatever that means.

  Alicia: Aw, she’s reaching out to you.

  Sienna: Are you sure it’s not a trick.

  Me: LOL. What trick could she pull off, Si?

  Sienna: Well, as long as she doesn’t put you down …

  Alicia: I’m glad you guys are working things out.

  Me: Me too.

  My mother glanced at me over her shoulder and I put my phone away. Not the time to get a lecture for messing with my phone while at work.

  Finally, it was time for my little ones.

  “Are you guys ready?” I asked as they gathered around me. Some had big smiles, some looked like they were going to be sick, but they all nodded at me. “You guys will do great, okay? Remember, I’m right here with you. Breathe in and out and smile!”

  I kissed the tops of their heads—making sure my lipstick didn’t mark their skin—before they walked onto the stage and positioned themselves in their spots for the beginning of their dance.

  Waiting for the song to start, I had to fight not to bite my nails.

  As usual, I stayed behind the side curtains, helping with the sequence of moves, but they were all so stinking cute, they sure didn’t need my help. My little girls did wonderfully, and right after their bow, Miss Chavez joined them on stage and asked them to sit along the side.

  “What’s happening?” I asked, wondering if I should go onto the stage with them, or not.

  Miss Chavez crossed the stage and handed a small package to me. “Put these on.”

  “What is going?” I took the package from her, still confused. “What is this?”

  “Put these on and go on stage,” she said firmly. “Miss Danvers’s orders.”

  Miss Danvers had only promoted me this morning. I couldn’t say no!

  Gulping, I opened the small package and found my pointe shoes in there. “What is going on?”

  “Just put them on and go on stage,” Miss Chavez urged. “Quickly!”

  I sat on the floor and started strapping the laces of the shoes around my ankles. I looked up at my mother. “Did you have something to do with this?”

  She raised her hands, her palms facing forward. “I have no idea what is going on.”

  Thirty seconds later, I had both pointe shoes on and strolled onto the stage. I still had no idea what I was supposed to do. I was glad I had opted to wear leggings and a loose blouse instead of the casual dress and boots I’d laid out. And my hair was up in a tight ponytail. Thinking about it, Alicia had made me change into my current clothes and hairstyle. What was going on?

  Then the song started, and I stopped breathing.

  The song from Romeo and Juliet’s balcony scene.

  My heart raced and, with wide eyes, I looked around just as, right on cue, Josh walked onto the stage. Josh. Wearing tights and a Romeo-like blouse and ballet shoes.

  Oh my …

  Tears brimmed in my eyes and part of me seriously considered running away. Slowly, he approached me and, with a small smile, he said, “Dance with me?”

  I shook my head. “You can’t do this to me.”

  “We’ll talk later. You can yell at me and hit me and send me away forever, if you want. But first, just dance with me.”

  Behind Josh, I saw my little dancers staring at us, their eyes huge and their smiles even bigger, all eager … to see us dancing?

  And we were in the middle of the stage, the song was rolling, and the audience was waiting.

  I gave him one short nod.

  His smile brightened his handsome face and I cursed myself for feeling all swoony around him.

  Then, despite all the warning bells ringing in my mind, we started dancing.

  Because of the time lost, we started right when Juliet was running in from off stage and Romeo stepped in and caught Juliet’s hand. Josh reached for my hand and a jolt sparked in me from the contact. Holding hands, we both walked forward, looking out at the audience. My heart raced and I felt like I was going to cry at any second.

  Then I let go of him and rushed to a corner of the stage while Josh danced for me. He was so beautiful when he was when dancing, smiling at me and staring at me as Romeo would smile and stare at Juliet. A minute later, I approached him and he sneaked a kiss on my cheek. His warm lips lingered on my skin for a half-second more than they should, and when he was gone, I wished his lips had stayed glued on my cheek for a while longer. Josh danced around me, then he halted behind me and I joined in. His hands on my waist were firm but gentle, and I was incredibly aware of every little contact, every little move of his body so close to mine.

  It was hard to dance with him this way, to look at him with loving, longing eyes … but, at the same time, it wasn’t. It was the easiest thing in the world.

  The big lift came around, and Josh held me first over his head, then twisted me around and held me in his arms effortlessly, one arm around my waist, the other under my knees. After a long stare, I buried my face in his neck and inhaled deeply, savoring his manly scent. Despite myself, I grazed my lips across his skin, and I felt the shiver that ran down his spine.

  Josh was smiling as he put me down and we resumed dancing. After a few moves together, he knelt on a corner of the stage and it was my turn to dance for him. I couldn’t help but smile while he watched me. Every few steps, I came around to him, touched him, leaned on him, and went back to dancing.

  I halted one last time in front of him, en pointe, while he held my waist. Slowly, he rose and leaned over me, but being Juliet, I backed away. Only to come running at him and throwing myself at him.

  Finally, he grasped my wrist and turned me to him. In slow motion, Josh took two steps to me, closing the distance between us. His eyes were shining with longing and desire and … love? I told myself it was the character, just Romeo gazing at Juliet. Still holding my gaze, Josh closed his hands around my waist and lifted me up on my pointe. My heart beat fast, faster than mere exertion from the dance. Fast and firm, Josh wrapped a hand around my nape and leaned into me. His lips grazed mine, softly at first, then a little moan escaped my throat and he groaned, taking my mouth with his. He kissed me more fiercely than he had ever kissed me while dancing.

  Finally, we broke apart and I, still playing Juliet, ran from him and went up the imaginary steps and back to the imaginary balcony.

  Josh was supposed to stay on the other corner of the stage, gazing at me for a while, until he left the stage as Romeo ran away from Juliet’s house before someone discovered them. However, Josh had other ideas. He crossed the stage and halted before me.

  “Before I explain why I acted the way I did, I need to tell you one thing,” he whispered as the song slowed even more. His eyes still held the same shine in them as when he was playing Romeo. “I love you, Rayna. I love you a whole lot.”

  My heart faltered and I gasped.

  The song ended and applause filled my ears.

  I shook the haze from my mind, and holding Josh’s hand mechanically, I stepped to the front of the stage and bowed.

  Josh held a smile on his face as he bowed beside me, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

  My little girls came running at us. They embraced us and cheered and told us we were amazing. My torn heart burst upon seeing them so happy. The girls, Josh, and I left the stage together as the next group was getting ready to perform.

  Backstage, my mother watched Josh and me with narrowed eyes. Crap.

  “Hey.” He brushed his fingers on my arm, ignoring my mother’s murderous stare. Suppressing a shiver from his brief, but nerve-wracking contact, I glanced at him. “Can we talk?”

  ***

  Josh

  “So?”

  In a private dressing room, Rayna stood in front of me, trying to be brave and serious with her crossed arms and chin raised, but I could see she was shaking.

  Fuck. I was shaking too.

  I hadn’t thought she would forgive me for being a jerk to her back at home just by dancing Ro
meo and Juliet with me, but I had hoped it might spark something in her, maybe show her how great we were together and how much I had missed her. And that kiss. Shit. She had kissed me back as hard as I had kissed her. I knew, I knew she was still into me. I just had to find out if she could forgive me.

  I cleared my throat. “First, thanks for dancing with me.”

  “Well, you put me in the spotlight in front of my students and a full audience. It would have been childish if I had refused.” She was still on the defensive.

  “I thought …” I ran a hand over my hair. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you. I just thought, as grand gestures go, that was a pretty good one.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Right. Not that good apparently.”

  “Josh, what do you want?”

  I took a step toward her. “Isn’t that obvious?”

  Her eyes sparked. “I’m not taking guesses here. I did that before and I was wrong.”

  “You weren’t wrong, Ray.” I sighed. “You have no idea how happy I was, seeing you at my father’s office. Damn, I wanted to jump over that table and pull you to me and never let you go.”

  Her eyes widened. “You had a great way of showing it.”

  “I was stupid. I was wrong. I thought I had an obligation to my family. Because my dad was still in such a delicate state, I thought I had to take everything on alone. And, seeing you there, telling me you had talked to your mother, quit NYBT, done all the things you wanted to do, I felt jealous. I thought I would never be able to do anything I wanted again, and that included staying close to you. I thought that if I was mean to you, you would come back to New York and live your life the way it was supposed to be.”

  She shook her head. “You didn’t have the right to choose that for me. I was ready to abandon it all here to move there. To be with you.”

  My chest swelled and I reached for her, unknotting her arms and holding her hands in mine. “You have no idea how hearing that makes me feel. I hope you can forgive me.”

  She pulled her hands from mine and took a big step back. “What are you doing here, Josh? Aren’t you supposed to be at home?”