The pale blue crosses were actually plus signs. The final addition to the work after seeing her own unexpected plus sign on a pregnancy test. “Conception,” she said.
Gavin looked back at the painting and turned his head to look at it from a new angle. “It’s very nice. I like the colors. It’s a much-needed pop against the beige.”
Sabine smiled. He didn’t see the symbolism of their relationship in it at all and that was okay. Art was only half about what she created. The other half was how others perceived and experienced her work.
He turned back to her, his face serious. “You are a really talented artist, Sabine.”
The compliment made her squirm a little. She was always uncomfortable with praise. Frankly, she wasn’t used to it after growing up with parents who didn’t understand why their daughter danced to a different drummer. “It’s okay,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Not my best work.”
Gavin frowned and closed the gap between them. He clasped her hand in his and pulled it to the red silk of his tie. “No,” he insisted. “It’s not just okay. You’re not just okay.”
Sabine tried to pull away, but he wasn’t having it. He bent his knees until he was at her eye level and she couldn’t avoid his gaze.
“You are a gifted painter,” he insisted. “You were then and you certainly are now. I was always amazed at how you could create such wonderful and imaginative things from just a blank canvas. You have a great deal of skill, Sabine, whether you think so or not. I hope our son has the same eye for the beautiful things in life.”
The words were hard enough to hear when they were about her, but knowing he wished the same for their son was too much for her to take. Her parents hadn’t wanted her to be a painter. It was frivolous. They’d wanted her to stay home and work on the farm, grow up and marry a farmer, and then raise a brood of tiny farmers. She was absolutely nothing like they wanted. And the day she left for New York, they said as much.
Before she could change her mind, Sabine threw herself against the wall of Gavin’s chest and hugged him tight. He seemed surprised at first, but then he wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her close. “Thank you,” she whispered into his lapel.
It felt good to be in his arms, surrounded in his warmth and spicy cologne. Good to be appreciated for her work even when she hadn’t lifted a brush in two years. Good to have someone believe in her, even if it was the same man who let her walk away from him. She would be happy with his professional admiration if nothing else.
And yet, with her head pressed to his chest, she could hear his heart racing. His muscles were tense as he held her. He was either extremely uncomfortable hugging her or there was more than just admiration there.
Sabine lifted her head and looked up at him. Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes met his. They glittered with what could only be desire. His jaw was tight, but unlike last night, he wasn’t angry. He swallowed hard, the muscles in his throat working hard down the column of his neck. She recognized the signs in Gavin. She knew them well but thought she’d never see him look at her like that again.
The intensity of his gaze flipped a switch in her own body. As it had in the restaurant, heat pooled in her cheeks and then rushed through her veins to warm every inch of her. She couldn’t help it. There had been few things as exquisite in her life as being made love to by Gavin. It had come as a huge surprise considering how tightly buttoned-up he was, but there was no denying he knew just how to touch her. It was probably the worst thing she could do considering what was going on between them, but she wanted Gavin to touch her again.
He must have read it in her eyes because a moment later he dipped his head and brought his lips to hers. They were soft at first, molding to her mouth and drinking her in. Sabine gently pressed her hands against his chest, pushing up onto her toes to get closer to him.
His hands glided across her back, the heat of him penetrating through the fabric of her blouse and searing her skin. She wanted to feel those hands all over her body. It had been so long since someone had touched her that way. She didn’t want it to stop. Not ever.
Sabine was about to lean in. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and press her body tight against his. As if he sensed the move, Gavin started to retreat. She could feel him pulling away, the cool air rushing between them and bringing with it reality. She pulled away, too, wrapping her arms across her chest to ward off the chill and its evidence on her aching body.
Gavin looked down at her and cleared his throat. “I’d better go.”
Sabine nodded and moved slowly with him toward the door.
“Good night, Sabine,” he said in a hoarse whisper. He took a step back, straightening his suit coat, and then gripped the brass knob in his hand.
“Good night,” she whispered, bringing her fingers up to gently touch her lips. They were still tingling with his kiss as he vanished through her doorway. “Good night.”
Four
“We have a date this afternoon. I mean a playdate. I mean, aw hell, I have no idea what’s going on,” Sabine lamented. She was folding a stack of shirts and paused with one clutched to her chest. “You know, a few days ago I was living my life like a criminal on the run, but I felt like I had a better grip on things.”
Adrienne smiled at her and turned to change the outfit on the mannequin by the wall. “It’s a big change,” she said. “But so far, it’s not a bad change, right?”
“That’s true. I guess that’s what worries me. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
The boutique was open, but the foot traffic usually didn’t pick up until closer to lunchtime on a Saturday. At the moment, Sabine and Adrienne were alone in the store and able to speak freely about the dramatic turn of events in her life. Normally, Sabine ran the shop alone until another employee, Jill, came in later in the day. Today, Adrienne came in as well to relieve Sabine so she could meet Gavin.
“I don’t think he’s going to steal Jared away from you, Sabine. It sounds like he’s been pretty reasonable so far.”
“I know,” she said, folding the last shirt and adding it to the neat display. “But he doesn’t have the DNA results back yet and won’t until Monday. If he was going to make a move, it wouldn’t be until he had the advantage. The Gavin I knew three years ago was...calculating and ruthless. He had absolutely no qualms about sitting back and waiting for the perfect moment to strike.”
“This isn’t a business deal and he’s not a cobra. You two have a child together. It’s different.” Adrienne pulled out a pin and fitted the top of the dress to the form.
Sabine stopped and admired the outfit Adrienne had designed. The sexy sheath dress was fitted with a square neckline, but it had fun details like pockets and a bright print to make it pop. It was perfect for the summer with some strappy heels or colorful ballet flats. She’d been tempted to use her employee discount to buy it for herself, but there wasn’t much point. That was the kind of dress a woman wanted to wear on a date or a night out with the girls. She hadn’t had either in a very long time. And despite Gavin proposing one night and kissing her the next, she didn’t think her Facebook relationship status would be changing anytime soon.
“Work and life are the same to Gavin. I mean, he didn’t propose to me. Not really. It was more like an offer to buy out my company. A business merger. Just what a girl wants to hear, right?”
Adrienne turned and looked at Sabine with her hands planted on her hips. “And the kiss?”
The kiss. The one thing that didn’t make sense. She knew he was her Achilles’ heel so it didn’t surprise her that she fell into his arms, but his motives were sketchy. “Strategy. He knows my weakness where he’s concerned. He’s just buttering up the competition to get his way.”
“You really think that’s all it was?” Her boss looked unconvinced.
Sabine flopped down onto an upholstered bench outside the changing rooms. “I don’t know. It didn’t feel like strategy. It felt...” Her mind dri
fted back to the way her body had responded to his touch. The way her lips tingled long after he’d left. She sighed and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what it felt like. The fact of the matter is that Gavin doesn’t love me. He never has. His only interest in me back then was as a source of rebellion against his uptight family. Now, I’m nothing more than a vehicle to his son. And when he gets tired of the games, he’ll remove the obstacle—me.”
“You don’t think he’s interested in a relationship with you?” Adrienne sat down beside her.
“Why would he be? He wasn’t interested the last time. At least not enough to so much as blink when it ended. I mean, I thought there was more between us than just sex, but he was always so closed off. I had no idea how he really felt, but when he let me walk out the door like I was nothing more than an amusement to occupy his time...I knew I was replaceable. Gavin never would’ve sought me out if it wasn’t for Jared.”
“You broke up with him,” Adrienne reminded her. “Maybe his pride kept him from chasing after you. Listen, I’m married to one of those guys. They’re all about running their little empires. They’re the king of their own kingdoms. In the business world, showing weakness is like throwing chum in the ocean—the sharks start circling. They keep it all inside for so long that after a while, they lose touch with their own sense of vulnerability.”
Her boss knew what she was talking about. Adrienne’s husband was Will Taylor, owner of one of the oldest and most successful newspapers in New York. He came from a long line of CEOs, just as Gavin had. Even then, she’d seen Adrienne and Will together multiple times, and he was putty in her hands. And happily so. Will at work and Will at home were completely different people.
But somehow Sabine had a hard time picturing Gavin with a marshmallow center beneath his hard candy shell. They’d shared some intimate moments together while they’d dated, but there was always an element of control on his part. They were together only a short time, but it was an intense relationship. She gave so much and yet he held back from her. She had no way of knowing the parts he kept hidden, but more than likely, it was his apathy. “You’re saying he let me walk away and cried himself to sleep that night?”
Adrienne chuckled. “Well, maybe that’s taking it a little far. But he might have had regrets and didn’t know what to do about it. Jared gives him a good reason to see you again without having to address any of those icky, uncomfortable feelings.”
A pair of ladies came into the shop, so they put their conversation on hold for now. While the women looked around, Sabine moved over to the checkout counter and crouched down to inventory the stock of pink boutique bags with Adrienne’s signature across the side. The passive activity helped her think.
Feelings were definitely not Gavin’s forte. Or at least sharing them. She was certain he had them, he just bottled them up on the inside. But feelings for her? She doubted that.
Gavin might be attracted to her. The kiss they shared might’ve been him testing the waters of resuming a physical relationship. They’d always had an undeniable chemistry. She knew the minute she saw him the first time that she was in trouble. It was at a gallery showing for a local contemporary artist. Sabine had gotten lost in the lines and colors of one of the pieces and the rest of the world disappeared.
At least until she heard the low rumble of a man’s voice in her ear. “It looks like an expensive mistake to me.”
She’d turned in surprise and nearly choked on a sip of champagne when she saw him. He wasn’t at all the kind of man she was used to. He wore an expensive suit and a watch that cost more money than she’d made in the past year. Men like Gavin typically turned their nose up at Sabine. But he’d looked at her with dark eyes that twinkled with amusement and desire.
Her pulse had shot up, her knees melted to butter beneath her, and she’d found herself without a witty response. Just that quickly, she was lost.
The weeks that followed were some of the greatest of her life. But not once in that time had he ever looked at her with anything more than lust. So as much as she’d like to think Adrienne was right, she knew better. He’d either been using their attraction to his advantage or using their situation to get laid.
One of the ladies tried on a blouse and then bought it, along with a scarf. Sabine rang her up and they left the store. The chime of the door signaled that her conversation with Adrienne could resume.
“So where are you guys going on your playdate today?” Adrienne called from the stockroom.
“We’re going to the Central Park Zoo.”
“That should be fun,” Adrienne said, returning to the front with her arms full of one of her newest dress designs. “Was that his idea?”
“No,” Sabine chuckled. She reached out to take several of the outfits from her. “He didn’t have a clue of what to do with a two-year-old. I suggested the zoo because I wanted us to do something that didn’t involve a lot of money.”
Adrienne wrinkled her delicate nose. “What do you mean?”
They carried the dresses over to the empty rack and organized them by size. “I don’t want Gavin buying Jared anything yet. At least not big, expensive things. He used to tell me that his father only ever took him shopping. I can’t keep him from buying things forever, but that’s not how I want to start off.”
“Money isn’t a bad thing, Sabine. I never had it until I married Will, and trust me, it takes some adjusting to get used to having a lot of it. But it can be used for good, too, not just for evil.”
“It’s also not a substitute for love or attention. I want Gavin to really try. Right now, Jared is still young, but before too long, he’s going to be in the ‘gimme’ stage. I don’t want Gavin buying affection with expensive gifts.”
“Try to keep an open mind,” Adrienne suggested. “Just because he buys Jared something doesn’t mean he isn’t trying. If getting him a balloon makes Jared smile, don’t read too much into it. Just enjoy your afternoon.” Adrienne stopped and crinkled her nose, making a funny face at Sabine.
“What’s the matter?”
“I don’t know. My stomach is a little upset all of a sudden. I think my smoothie is turning on me. Either that, or I’m nauseated by all your drama.”
Sabine laughed. “I’m sorry my crazy life is making you ill. I’ve got some antacids in my purse if you need them.”
“I’ll be fine,” Adrienne insisted. She looked down at her watch. “You’d better get going if you’re going to meet him on time. Worry about having fun instead.”
Sabine nodded. “Okay,” she said. “We will have a good time, I promise.”
She hoped she was right.
* * *
As Gavin stepped out of his apartment building onto Central Park South and crossed the street, he realized just how long it had been since he’d actually set foot in Central Park. He looked out at it every day but never paid any attention to the looming green hulk that sprawled out in front of him.
His first clue was that he was a little overdressed for a summer afternoon at the zoo. He’d left the tie at home, but he probably could’ve forgone the suit coat, too. A pair of jeans or khakis and a polo shirt would’ve suited just fine. He considered running his jacket back upstairs, but he didn’t want to be late.
When he was younger, he’d enjoyed jogging along the paths or hanging out and playing Frisbee with friends in the Sheep Meadow. The more involved he got in the management of BXS, the less important trees and sunshine seemed in his agenda. He and Sabine had taken a horse-drawn carriage through the park one evening when they were dating, but the closest he had gotten to it since then was a gala at the Met last year.
By the time he reached the front entrance to the zoo, he could feel the sweat forming along his spine. He slipped out of the jacket and threw it over his arm after rolling up his sleeves. It helped, but not much. He was supposed to meet Sabine and Gavin just outside the brick archways that marked the entrance, but he didn’t see them anywhere.
He unclipped his phone f
rom his belt to look at the time. He was a few minutes early. He opted to flip through some emails. He’d hit a little bit of a snag with the Exclusivity Jetliners merger. The owner’s son, Paul, had found out about his father’s plans and was throwing a fit. Apparently he wasn’t pleased about watching his inheritance getting sold off. Gavin was paying a pretty penny for the company, but Roger’s son seemed to fancy playing CEO. Roger was starting to second-guess the sale.
He fired off a couple quick emails, but his attention was piqued by the sound of a child’s laughter in the distance. It was one of those contagious giggles that made you smile just to hear it. He looked up in the direction of the sound and saw Sabine and Jared playing in the shade of a large tree.
Slipping his cell phone back in the holster, he made his way over to where they were. Sabine was crouched down beside Jared, dressed in capris and a tank top. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail and a bright red backpack was slung over her shoulders.
Jared was playing with another one of his trucks. In the mud. Apparently, the kid had managed to find the only mud bog in the park. He was crouched barefoot in the brown muck, ramming his trucks through the sludge. He made loud truck noises with his mouth and then giggled hysterically when the mud splashed up onto his shirt. He was head-to-toe filthy and happy as a little piglet.
Gavin’s instinct was to grab Jared and get him out of the dirt immediately. There had to be a restroom somewhere nearby where they could rinse him off. But then he saw the smile on Sabine’s face. She wasn’t even remotely concerned about what Jared was doing.
His mother would’ve had a fit if she had found him playing in the mud. His nanny would’ve had to hose him off outside and then thoroughly scrub him in the tub. When he was dry, he would’ve been given a lengthy lecture about how getting dirty was inappropriate and his nanny would’ve been fired for not keeping a better eye on him.
Jared dropped one of the trucks in the puddle and the water splashed up, splattering both him and Sabine. Gavin expected her to get upset since she’d gotten dirty now, but she just laughed and wiped the smear of muddy water off her arm. It was amazing. It made Gavin want to get dirty, too.
His Lover's Little Secret Page 5
