His Lover's Little Secret

by Andrea Laurence

  And it was one of the best days of his life.

  Seeing Jared’s smile made everything worth it. That was what kept parents going. That moment his son’s face lit up when he saw an elephant for the first time. Or the sound of his laughter when the clowns were up to their wacky antics.

  The day hadn’t been without its mishaps. Jared had dropped his ice cream and went into a full, five-alarm meltdown. Gavin knew Sabine didn’t want him buying a bunch of things, but he gladly threw down the cash for the overpriced light-up sword to quiet him down. There was also a potty emergency that was timed just as they neared the front of the mile-long food line. Sabine had begun potty training recently and had told him that if Jared asked, they were to go, right then. So they did. And ended up at the end of the line, waiting another twenty minutes for hot dogs and popcorn.

  But the world hadn’t ended. There had been no tragedies, and he texted as much to Sabine every hour or so. The day had been filled with lights and sound and excitement. So much so that by the time they made it back to the apartment, Jared was out cold. Gavin knew exactly how he felt.

  He carried the exhausted toddler inside, quietly tapping at the apartment door so as to not wake him up. When Sabine didn’t answer, he tried the knob and found it unlocked. He expected to find Sabine frantically painting. This was her chance, after all, to indulge her suppressed creativity. Instead, she was curled up on the couch, asleep.

  Gavin smiled. He had told her to spend the afternoon doing whatever she wanted. He should’ve guessed that a nap would be pretty high on the list. He tiptoed quietly through the living room and into the bedroom. Following the routine from Thursday night, he laid Jared in the crib and stripped him down into just his T-shirt and shorts. He covered him with the blanket and turned out the lights.

  Sabine was still asleep when he came out. He knew he couldn’t leave without waking her up, but he couldn’t bear to disturb her. He eased down at the end of the couch and decided to just wait until she woke up.

  He enjoyed watching Sabine sleep. She had always been one to work hard and play hard, so when she slept, it was a deep sleep and it came on quickly. There were many nights where he had lain in bed and just studied her face. Gavin had memorized every line and curve. He’d counted her eyelashes. There was just something about her that had fascinated him from the first moment he saw her.

  The weeks they’d spent together were intense. He couldn’t get enough of her. Sabine was a breath of fresh air to a man hanging from the gallows. She’d brought him back to life with her rebellious streak and quest for excitement. He’d loved everything about her, from her dazzling smile to her ever-changing rainbow-streaked hair. He’d loved how there was always a speck of paint somewhere on her body, even if he had to do a detailed search to find it. She was so different from every other woman he’d ever known.

  For the first time, he’d allowed himself to start opening up to someone. He’d begun making plans for Sabine to be a permanent fixture in his life. He hadn’t anticipated her bolting, and when she did, he shut down. Gavin hadn’t allowed himself to realize just how much he’d missed her until this moment.

  She didn’t trust him. Not with her son and not with her heart. Gavin hadn’t appreciated it when he had it—at least not outwardly. He never told her how he felt or shared his plans for their future. That was his own fault, and they missed their chance at love. But even with that lost, he wanted her back in his bed. He ached to run his fingers through her hair. Tonight, it was pulled up on top of her head, the silky black and bright purple strands jumbled together. He wanted to touch it and see it sprawled across the pillowcase.

  His eyes traveled down her body to the thin shirt and shorts she was wearing. He didn’t think it was possible, but she was more beautiful now than she had been back then. She wouldn’t believe him if he told her that, but it was true. Motherhood had filled out some of the curves she’d lacked as a struggling artist. He remembered her getting so engrossed in her work that sometimes she would simply forget to eat. Gavin would come to the apartment with takeout and force her to take a break.

  Now she had nicely rounded hips that called to him to reach out and glide his palms over them. He wanted to curl up behind her and press her soft body into his. He wanted to feel her lean, yoga-toned muscles flexing against him. The sight of her in that skimpy workout outfit had haunted him since that first night.

  Her newly developed muscles didn’t make up for the mental strain, however. Even in her sleep, a fine line ran between her eyebrows. She made a certain face when she was frustrated or confused, and that line was the result. There were faint circles under her eyes. She was worn out. He was determined to make things easier for her. No matter how their relationship ended or his feelings where she was concerned, she deserved the help he could provide.

  She just had to let him.

  “Gavin,” Sabine whispered.

  He looked up, expecting to see her eyes open, but she was talking in her sleep. Calling his name in her sleep. He held his breath, waiting to see if she spoke again.

  “Please,” she groaned, squirming slightly on the sofa. “Yes. I need you.”

  Gavin nearly choked on his own saliva. She wasn’t just dreaming about him. She was having an erotic dream about him. The mere thought made his jeans uncomfortably tight.

  “Touch me.”

  Gavin couldn’t resist. He reached out and placed his hand on the firm curve of her calf. He loved the feel of her soft skin against him. It made his palm tingle and his blood hum in his veins. Just a simple touch. No other woman had had this effect on him. Whatever it was that drew them together was still here, and as strong as ever.

  “Gavin?”

  He looked up to see Sabine squinting at him in confusion. She was awake now. And probably wondering why the hell he was fondling her leg. He expected her to shy away from his touch, but she didn’t. Instead, she sat up. She looked deep into his eyes for a moment, the fire of her passionate dream still lighting her gaze.

  She reached up, cradling his face in her hands and tugging his mouth down to hers. He wasn’t about to deny her. The moment their lips met, he felt the familiar surge of need wash over him. Before when they’d kissed, he had resisted the pull, but he couldn’t do it any longer. He wanted her and she wanted him. They could deal with the consequences of it later.

  Her mouth was hungry, demanding more of him, and he gave it. His tongue thrust inside her, matching her intensity and eliciting a groan deep in her throat. Her fingers drifted into his hair, desperately tugging him closer.

  Gavin wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her up onto her knees. He explored every new curve of her body just as he’d fantasized, dipping low to cup the roundness of her backside. The firm press of her flesh against his fingertips was better than he ever could have imagined. He didn’t think it was possible, but he grew even harder as he touched her.

  Sabine’s hands roamed as well, sliding down his chest, studying the ridges of his abs and then reaching around his back. She grasped the hem of his shirt and tugged until their lips parted and it came up and over his head. She did the same with her own shirt, throwing it to the floor and revealing full breasts with no bra to obscure them.

  Before he could reach out to touch them, Sabine leaned back, cupping his neck with one hand and pulling him with her until she was lying on the couch and he was covering her body with his. Every soft inch of her molded to him. Her breasts crushed against his bare chest, the hard peaks of her nipples pressing insistently into his skin.

  Gavin kissed her again and then let his lips roam along her jaw and down her throat. He teased at her sensitive skin, nipping gently with his teeth and soothing it with his tongue. He brought one palm to her breast, teasing the aching tip with slow circles and then massaging it with firm fingers. Sabine gasped aloud, her hips rising to meet his.

  “I want you so badly,” Gavin whispered against her collarbone.

  Sabine didn’t reply, but her hand eased between
their bodies to unzip his jeans. She brought one finger up to her lips to gesture for him to be quiet, then her hand slipped under the waistband of his briefs. He fought for silence as her fingers wrapped around the length of him and stroked gently. He buried a moan against her breast, trying not to lose his grip of control. She knew just how to push him, just how to touch him to make him unravel.

  He brushed her hand away and eased between her legs. He thrust his hips forward, creating a delicious friction as he rubbed against her through the thin cotton of her shorts.

  “Ohh...” she whispered, her eyes closing.

  She was so beautiful. He couldn’t wait to watch her come undone. To bury himself deep inside her again after all this time.

  “Please,” he groaned, “tell me that you have something we can use.” Gavin got up this morning thinking he was taking his son to the circus. He wasn’t a teenager walking around with a condom in his pocket all the time. He hadn’t come prepared for this.

  Her eyes fluttered open, their green depths dark with desire. “I had an IUD put in after Jared was born,” she said.

  “Is that enough?” he asked.

  At that, Sabine laughed. “It’s supposed to be 99.8 percent effective, but with your super sperm, who knows? The condom didn’t work so well for us the last time.”

  “Super sperm,” Gavin snorted before dipping down and kissing her again. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked. He would if she wanted him to, as much as that would kill him. But she needed to decide now.

  “Don’t you dare,” she said, piercing him with her gaze.

  With a growl, he buried his face in her neck. His hand grasped at the waist of her shorts, tugging them and her panties down over her hips. She arched up to help him and then kicked them off to the floor.

  Sabine pushed at his jeans without success until Gavin finally eased back to take them off. She watched him with careful study as he kicked off his shoes and slipped out of the last of his clothes.

  He looked down at her, nude and wanting, and his chest swelled with pride. She was sexy and free and waiting for him. As he watched, she reached up and untied her hair. The long strands fell down over her shoulders, the ends teasing at the tips of her breasts.

  He couldn’t wait any longer. Gavin returned to the couch, easing between her thighs. He sought her out first with his hand. Stroking gently, his fingertips slid easily over her sensitive flesh, causing her to whimper with need.

  “Gavin,” she pleaded, her voice little more than a breath.

  His hand continued to move over her until she was panting and squirming beneath him. Then he slipped one finger inside. Sabine threw her head back, a cry strangling to silence in her throat. She was ready for him.

  Gavin propped onto one elbow and gripped her hip with his other hand. Surging forward, he pressed into the slick heat of her welcoming body. He lost himself in the pleasure for a moment, absorbing every delicious sensation before flexing his hips and driving into her again.

  Sabine clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder to muffle her gasps and cries. She met his every advance, whispering words of encouragement into his ear. The intensity built, moment by moment, until he knew she was close.

  Her eyes squeezed shut, her mouth falling open in silent gasps. He put every ounce of energy he had left into pushing her over the edge. He was rewarded with the soft shudder of her body against him, the muscles deep inside clenching around him. The string of tension in his belly drew tighter and tighter until it snapped. He thrust hard, exploding into her with a low growl of satisfaction.

  They both collapsed against the couch cushions in a panting, gasping heap. No sooner had they recovered than Gavin heard Jared crying in the other room.

  Sabine pressed against his chest until he backed off. She quickly tugged on her clothes and disappeared into the bedroom.

  Things were officially more complicated.

  Six

  Jared went back down fairly quickly. Sabine changed his Pull-Ups, put him in his pajamas and he fell asleep in minutes. Even then, she stayed in her bedroom longer than necessary. Going back into the living room meant facing what she’d just done. She wasn’t quite ready for that yet.

  Damn that stupid, erotic dream. When she fell asleep on the couch, she never expected to sleep that long. Or that she would have a sexual fantasy about Gavin while he was sitting there watching her. When she opened her eyes and he was touching her with the spark of passion in his eyes, she had to have him. She needed him.

  And now it was done. She’d refused his proposal of marriage because he didn’t love her, yet she’d just slept with him. She was throwing mixed signals left, right and center.

  But she had to go back out there eventually. Steeling her resolve, she exited the bedroom and pulled the door shut behind her. She made a quick stop in the restroom first, cleaning up and smoothing her hair back into a ponytail. When she returned to the living room, Gavin was fully dressed and sitting on the couch.

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” she said. “He’s back to sleep now. He probably won’t wake up again until the morning.” She nervously ran her hands over her shorts, not sure what to do with herself. “Did you guys have fun today?”

  “We did. He’s a very well-behaved kid. Gave me almost no trouble. Almost,” he said with a smile.

  Sabine was glad. She’d worried so much about them that she couldn’t paint. At least at first. She’d tried, but it had been so long since she’d painted that she didn’t know where to start. Instead, she’d taken a long, leisurely shower and indulged in extended grooming rituals she usually had to rush, like plucking her eyebrows and painting her toenails. One of her favorite chick flicks was on TV, so she sat down to watch it, and the next thing she knew, she was nodding off. She’d only expected to sleep for a half hour or so.

  “I’m glad it went well.” She eyed the spot on the couch where she’d just been and decided she wasn’t quite ready to sit there yet. “Would you like some wine? I’m going to pour myself a glass.”

  “Sure,” he said with a soft smile.

  Sabine could tell this was awkward for him, too. And yet, he could’ve turned her down and left. But he didn’t. She disappeared into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with two glasses of merlot. “It came out of a box, but I like it,” she said.

  Gavin smiled in earnest, taking a large sip, then another. “It’s pretty good,” he admitted with surprise.

  She sat down beside him and took her own sip. The wine seemed to flow directly into her veins, relaxing her immediately.

  He pointed over at the blank canvas. “I’m surprised you didn’t paint at all today.”

  Sabine looked at the white expanse that had been her nemesis for a good part of the afternoon. She couldn’t count how many times she’d put her pencil to the canvas to sketch the bones of a scene and then stopped. “I think I’ve forgotten how to paint.”

  “That’s not possible,” Gavin argued. “You just need the right inspiration. I put you on the spot today. I bet if you relax and let the creative juices flow without the pressure of time, the ideas will come again.”

  “I hope so.”

  “You’re too gifted to set your dream aside. Even for Jared. We can work together to get you back to what you love. I mean, after we get the results and I have visitation rights, you’ll have more free time to yourself.”

  That was the wrong thing to say. She had been nervous enough about tomorrow and the lab results that were coming in. Knowing he was already planning to “exercise his rights” and take Jared for long stretches of time just made her chest tight with anxiety. It was a sharp reminder that even after they’d had sex, he was really here for Jared, not her. He hadn’t mentioned anything about all of them spending time together. Or just the two of them. Any fantasies she had about there being any sort of family unit cobbled out of this mess were just that.

  “And what about you?” she said, her tone a bit sharper than she’d pl
anned. “You seem as wrapped up in the business as ever. We couldn’t get you off your phone yesterday. I’m thinking you don’t have much time to get in the cockpit anymore.”

  “It’s been a while,” he admitted. “But I’m working on it. All those calls I was taking at the zoo,” he said, “were about a big deal I’m trying to pull together. Things were unraveling and I couldn’t let it happen.”

  Sabine listened as he described his plans for BXS and Exclusivity Jetliners. It really did seem like a brilliant plan. There were plenty of wealthy and important people who would pay a premium for that kind of service. That didn’t mean she appreciated it interloping on their day out together, but she could see it was important to him and not just day-to-day management crap.

  “I’m hoping to fly one, too.”

  Her brows went up in surprise. “Did you get demoted from CEO to pilot?”

  “I wish,” he groaned. “But I’ve always wanted a Gulfstream model jet. The ones we’re acquiring could go over four thousand miles on one tank of gas. That could get me to Paris. I’ve always dreamed of flying across the Atlantic. But even if I can’t manage that, I can take one out from time to time. Even if it’s just to do a delivery. I don’t care. I just want to get out from behind the desk and get up there. It’s the only place I can ever find any peace.”

  She understood that. Yoga did a lot to help center her mind and spirit, but nothing came close to losing herself in her art.

  “I want more time out of the office, and Jared finally gives me a real reason to do it. There’s no point in work-life balance when you’ve got no life. But spending time with Jared needs to be a priority for me. I’ve already missed so much.”

  Sabine was impressed by his heartfelt words. Gavin had quickly become enamored with Jared, and she was glad. Part of her had always worried that he might reject his son. The other part worried that he’d claim him with such force that he’d rip her child from her arms. This seemed a healthy medium. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. He was trying.