Secret Pleasures

by Cheryl Howe

  “Fifty thousand pounds. That is what she asked for.” His father strode to Darien, looked him in the eye. “I am sorry I have not been the father you needed.” His father gripped his shoulder. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to lay down. You appear as if you could use some rest as well.”

  His father limped from the room and into the adjoining bedroom. The sun still lingered high in the sky, a few rays breaking through damp grey. In the entirety of his life, Darien had never known his father to lay abed during the day. To his dismay, Darien found he no longer had the energy to hate his father. A more recent betrayal took precedence.

  ***

  Darien walked into the quiet house and almost laughed. A wild, crazy howl curled in his throat, but he dared not let it out. He could not be that big of a fool a second time in his life. There was no fire in the hearth. No signs of life except the fully furnished empty place where his life used to be.

  He climbed the stairs and paused by the bedroom door. A baby coo echoed in the quiet room. Ivy would not leave the child, whomever it belonged too. She did love Melody. That could not be a lie or Ivy was the greatest actress he’d ever witnessed. She could have had a career on stage, but then again, duping him on a regular basis was so much more lucrative.

  He shoved open the door and it slammed against the far wall. Melody erupted into wails.

  Ivy, dressed for travel, sat in a chair she had carried up from the kitchen. She appeared to be poised at the window, waiting, watching, Melody in her arms. No doubt she’d witnessed his arrival. Her trunk lay on the neatly made bed. She wore her hat and gloves.

  “How is he?” she said, not turning her head to look at him, just staring out the window.

  “Going somewhere? Looks like you missed your chance to make your escape.”

  “I was.” She stood and walked over to him, cradling Melody. “But I could not leave without speaking with you. First tell me, how is Robert faring? Will he recover?”

  Her voice sounded weak, hollow. She handed him Melody and he took her, too stunned to say anything. He wanted to hug Ivy, kiss her face, make love to her on what was intended to be their marriage bed until he could no longer think, move. And if he woke and she was gone, well, he’d been expecting that anyway.

  “Arianna removed the musket ball. Only time will tell now. She was concerned about an infection.”

  Ivy nodded.

  “Where were you going? It’ll be dark in a couple of hours.” Darien nestled Melody in the crook of his arm and swayed her back and forth.

  “America.”

  “What?” Darien’s shout sounded with the eruption of a musket. Melody’s startled scream warned Darien to lower his voice. Ivy had retreated to the window or he would have thrust her back into her arms. “Is that why you extorted fifty thousand pounds from my father? You needed some traveling money? Here, take your child. Do you feel anything for me at all, Ivy? Have you ever?”

  She gripped the chair back and tears filled her eyes. “You’re upsetting Melody.”

  “Then take her,” Darien tried to thrust her towards Ivy.

  She pursed her lips and shook her head. “I can’t. Not until you I tell you the truth.”

  “That would be refreshing. I cannot imagine why I should believe you.” He pulled Melody into his chest, her arms and legs kicking, her little face angry red. Fat tears leaked from her eyes and Darien cradled her more securely. She wrapped her fists in his shirt, hanging on to him even though he’d been the initial cause of her upset. “Shh. I’m sorry, little love. I won’t shout again.”

  Melody settled down to a muffled sniffle. He glanced at Ivy, who watched them in obvious horror, squeezing the chair back as if it took all her power not to toss it out of the way and rip Melody from his arms.

  “Start with the money.” Darien forced himself to smile. He couldn’t yell if he kept grinning like an idiot. “Why did you ask my father for fifty thousand pounds?”

  “Because I thought Melody was his child and she deserved it. I planned to get even more than that for her once I left England.”

  Darien could only stare wide-eyed. It was true. The worst was true. “You were his bloody mistress after all.”

  Melody wrinkled her nose in a red-faced warning Darien heeded. He jostled her gently.

  “Maybe I don’t want the truth,” Darien almost whispered.

  “Diana de Rachelle is Melody’s birth mother. I was not sure of her father until recently.”

  “Diana?” Darien glanced down at the child and saw a thick head of dark blond hair and large brown eyes. Not Diana’s blond classical beauty. She looked more like Ivy’s child or …A Blackmore.

  He glanced at Ivy.

  “Diana would not reveal the identity of the father but claimed he had noble blood. She wanted me to raise Melody—the name Diana chose for her—and to never let her daughter know the circumstances of her birth.”

  “Is this my sister and you failed to mention it?” He studied Melody’s face. His father’s eyes were blue like Philip’s, but Darien and his sister had inherited their dark looks from their mother.

  Ivy bowed her head, hiding her face, but he could hear her harsh intake of breath and knew she cried in earnest. Ivy did not shed tears like normal women and her broken sobs terrified him.

  “You’re not saying I’m the father?” Surely he would have known.

  “You would know better than I.” Ivy gasped for breath, but failed to gain control of her emotional deluge. Even Melody had turned in his arms to puzzle over Ivy’s condition. “Are you Melody’s father?”

  “I had not seen Diana in…” Darien tried to recall the last time he saw Diana. London had been hot, so it must have been late summer. There had been a ram he’d been interested in purchasing from a farmer in the midlands. So it had been June. Well over a year ago. He glanced down at Melody. If time were the only deciding factor, Darien would be extremely concerned. “I only saw Diana on occasion. I rarely ventured into London, as you well know. We weren’t even lovers until after my father had abandoned her.” Darien shrugged. “We comforted each other.”

  Darien glanced down at Melody, who stared at him with desperation. Her mouth turned into an “o” of surprised fascination as she purposely held his gaze. She appeared to be waiting for his answer, waiting for someone to claim her. Darien glanced at that someone and knew that Ivy might not have given birth to her, but she loved her as much as any biological mother would.

  “Diana said the father was not a paying customer but another lonely soul. When I insisted she contact the father, she claimed it would be too upsetting for his family. And her name. Melody. You said you played for Diana?”

  “She loved music,” Darien said, though he sensed he was incriminating himself.

  “I love Melody. I never thought I could love anything so much.” Ivy smiled, but her lips wobbled. “After our broken engagement and then your belief that I would ever be your father’s mistress—Darien, I thought my heart would never heal. I would do anything for Melody. I will devote my life to making hers all it can be.”

  “Are you asking my permission to leave me and take my daughter?” Darien glanced down at the warm bundle in his arms. Her heavy eyelids fluttered to stay open. Long dark lashes brushed her delicate cheeks. She popped her tiny thumb in her mouth and began to suck.

  “Henry Maddox was here. He threatened all of us.” Ivy’s words tore Darien from his thoughts.

  Darien tensed and Melody’s sleepy eyes grew suddenly alert. She drew her eyebrows together, the first signs of her displeasure. He strode to Ivy. “Take her. Please. I think she’s hungry.”

  Ivy clutched Melody to her chest, kissed the top of her head, and patted her back in slow, soothing circles. “He walked right in while I was bathing Melody. He didn’t believe I was her mother. He says he’ll discover the truth and ruin Melody’s future. I believe him, Darien.”

  “He told me he didn’t think I was her father, either. If he does find anything out, he’ll be in for
a rude awakening. Of course, no ruder than the one I just had, though I don’t think he will ever find out. No one knew of my relationship with Diana.”

  Darien searched the single dresser for the whiskey bottle he had once kept there but found the scarred wood lined with Ivy’s perfumes and powders instead. He had too much to comprehend, but one thing was certain, Ivy could not leave him. Certainly not while taking his own child with her.

  Darien swung around to face Ivy. “What exactly did Henry Maddox say? How did he threaten you?”

  “It’s not me I’m worried about. If Maddox discovers the truth about Melody, it will haunt her all her life. Diana did not want that for her daughter and neither do I. You have no idea what it’s like to be an outcast, Darien.”

  “Don’t I?” Darien yanked off his bloody shirt. He rummaged through a drawer, sure he had hidden a bottle of whiskey somewhere. “Look where I live.”

  Ivy shook her head. “That’s your choice, and I think you love it here. I know I do. Even so, being branded a harlot’s bastard is not the same.”

  “Then why are you in such a rush to leave me? Did I not say I would claim Melody? Apparently, that will not require much subterfuge on my part.” He strode to the center of the room eager to yank the chair Ivy kept protectively between them away from her.

  “You knew my intentions to leave England from the beginning.”

  “Italy is not America.”

  “I wanted a new start for Melody. I wanted her to have all I never had.”

  “You were not born to a dock-side prostitute.” Darien glanced to the ceiling. “I’m sorry, Diana. She had much more humble beginnings than she wanted anyone to know.”

  “I knew. And I understood the desperation that left her little options and then condemned her for doing what she must to survive.”

  “You had parents who loved you and took care of you.”

  Ivy strode to Darien. “My father had been gambling long before you erupted into my life. We never knew when we would be turned from our rented rooms or when some creditor would come banging on the door.”

  She dropped her gaze as if she were ashamed and laid Melody in her crib.

  He came up behind her, gripped her upper arms. When she leaned back against him, the dread that had filled him since Westhaven had delivered his damning news instantly evaporated.

  “Tell me,” he whispered near her ear. “Nothing you can say will change the way I feel about you.” Finally he realized the brutal truth.

  “There is nothing to tell except that I understood at an early age that I would someday be a valuable commodity to my family. Thankfully, I fell in love with you before my father could seal a bargain with the highest bidder. Nothing tawdry, mind you. I would indeed be marrying our gracious benefactor.”

  Darien wrapped an arm around her waist. “Ivy, why did you not tell me?”

  She broke free of his grasp. “Because there was nothing to tell, really. I wasn’t the only girl to be shopped around for wealthy, marriageable prospects. Except that there was the possibility that I could not bear children.” She turned to face him. “We weren’t sure, and I’m sorry I kept it from you. My mother told me you would not marry me if I told you the possibility existed.”

  “I would have.” Darien laughed. “I still will.”

  “I did not think it mattered until Philip died and you became the heir. I feared I could not give you what you needed to fulfill your destiny. So when your father called in my father’s gambling debts, I agreed to break the engagement. Perhaps I thought I deserved to lose you for keeping my medical difficulties secret.”

  “You didn’t deserve anything except to be happily married to a man who adores you.”

  “Maybe not.” She smiled wistfully, but since it was the first smile she’d given him all day, Darien was thrilled. “My father spent the money from your father in short order and racked up a few thousand pounds more debt. Thankfully, my sister fell in love with a pious commoner who abhors the aristocratic lust for money. He whisked her away, not caring for a dowry. My mother died shortly after. My sacrifice was for nothing in the end. It was just my father and I. If Marcus hadn’t kept abreast of things… I don’t expect you to understand, but he made my life so much easier. I cared for him as a friend. Well, more than a friend, but I never stopped loving you. Marcus always knew that.”

  “We all made mistakes, Ivy.” Darien gently kissed her forehead. Perhaps he felt somewhat appeased to know Ivy had never loved Marcus, but his former friend’s behavior was still not garnering accolades from Darien. “My biggest mistake was not coming after you. I should have ignored the rumors, taken you to Scotland and made you my wife.”

  “I wish you had. I truly do.” She sighed. “But then there would be no Melody.”

  Darien shoved his hands in his pockets. “I still cannot believe she is my daughter.”

  “I believe it.”

  Darien touched her face. “She’s your daughter as much as mine.”

  “Thank you for that.” She held his gaze for a long moment. He leaned in to kiss her mouth, but she slipped from his grasp and strode to the other side of the room.

  “So you see that my best option to give Melody a life free from the misfortunes of our own is for us to sail to America and start a new life. Thanks to Marcus, I have invested well. And I have your father’s fifty thousand pounds. Which I plan to keep.”

  Darien bowed. “And considering the circumstances, you have my blessings on that count. But you don’t need to flee to America. Stay here and be my wife.”

  “That isn’t possible. Henry Maddox will destroy us. And your father—”

  “Will not interfere. I told him of my intention to marry you and he has given his blessings.”

  Ivy appeared incredulous. “And Melody?”

  “He knows of her, as well. She is a girl and not a threat to Maddox’s plans for his daughter to bear the heir.”

  “Henry Maddox is not to be trusted. He is dangerous.”

  Darien crossed the room and took her hands. “What did he do to you? There’s something you’re not telling me.”

  “He was the one that started the rumor that I broke our engagement to be your father’s mistress.”

  “I’ll take care of Henry Maddox.”

  Ivy held his hands tightly. “I don’t want you to do anything to Henry Maddox. Melody’s well-being is my only concern. Maddox will hold us hostage with his suspicions. And even if he doesn’t learn anything new, he knows enough to cast doubt and speculation against Melody. Ugly rumors will follow her everywhere she goes.”

  “He won’t. My father won’t let him.” Darien wondered how he was going to tell his father that he harbored his longtime mistress’s daughter. “Westhaven cared for Diana on some level and helping her daughter, my daughter, is the least he can do. Don’t you see the truth only works in our favor? After everything, Maddox and my father insist that a marriage will take place. I won’t stop it if they leave my family alone.”

  “What of Robert and Arianna?”

  “I love you and our daughter. Taking care of you both is my main concern.”

  Ivy searched his gaze for the truth. He stared at her with a conviction he had never felt before and the courage to see it through. “Well, will you marry me?”

  “Yes.” She smiled. “Yes, yes, yes.” She threw her arms around his neck and he stumbled back under the onslaught of her embrace.

  A crash sounded downstairs and they broke apart. There was the matter of an attempted murderer on the loose. How easily had he forgotten. Ivy was correct in fearing Henry Maddox.

  “Wait here.”

  “No.” Ivy clutched his arm. “Don’t leave us.”

  Darien retrieved the musket he kept under the bed. He found the shot and loaded it.

  “Do you think it’s Henry Maddox?”

  Darien shook his head. “He gets others to do his dirty work, but I don’t think he’s that much of a fool.”

  Another crash sounded below
.

  “Probably a raccoon has gotten into the kitchen. It’s happened before.”

  Ivy nodded.

  “I’ll be right back.” Darien kissed her on the lips, then paused to glance at the sleeping child in the crib. His daughter. Darien would do everything in his power to protect them both.

  His name is Collin Jacobson, a horse breeder from Scotland.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Ivy followed Darien down the stairs, ignoring his command for her to return to the bedroom and lock herself in with Melody.

  “I’ll stay on the landing,” she whispered. At least that way she would be halfway between Darien and Melody.

  Darien gave her a final silent look and crept toward the kitchen. From the sounds of it, someone rummaged through the cupboards, banging pots in the process.

  Darien paused in the doorway and lifted the musket to his shoulder. “Who goes there?”

  “Darien?” Ivy didn’t recognize the man’s voice but he had a strong Scottish accent. “It’s Collin. Collin Jacobson. I was a friend of your brother’s. We met once or twice.”

  Darien lowered his weapon. “You’re a horse breeder. My father bought one of your stallions.”

  Barking dogs sounded in the distance, along with the shouts of men. Ivy came down the rest of the stairs and into the kitchen.

  A tall man with reddish brown hair stood in the kitchen with his hands in the air. Horses’ hooves sounded in front of the house.

  Collin Jacobson’s eyes widened. “Please, hide me. I did not mean to shoot that young man. It was all a mistake. I saw Maddox attack you and I felt I must finally do something.”

  “That young man was my nephew. Why?” Darien raised the musket to his shoulder.

  “I was not aiming for him. I wasn’t even trying to kill Maddox, though someone should. He is the one responsible for your brother’s death.” Jacobson glanced in the direction of male shouts. “Please. They’ll kill me on the spot. I’ll tell you everything I know about the night your brother died if you give me the chance.”