Caught Between Worlds (The In-Betweens Book 3)
Page 16
“It’s perfect,” I breathed.
“It’s you,” she said with a smile. “Not too fancy, not too casual. And perfect for the girl who doesn’t feel comfortable in dresses. Don’t worry, I’ve got the shoes covered, too.” As I watched, she dug in a small bag she’d brought with her purse. “Voila!” she announced proudly.
They were the exact thing to top off my look. Cream wedges that only raised me a modest two inches. She knew if I wore anything higher, I’d twist my ankle or trip on a rug or something equally humiliating. Not that I couldn’t do that stuff barefoot, but these would lower the chances.
I changed quickly and added a few touches of simple jewelry. I slipped into the shoes and admired myself in the mirror. The fabric was soft and silky and fell nicely against my figure. It, too, was sleeveless. The temperatures had been dropping into the midforties at night, but remained in the high sixties during the day. Thankfully, being a vampire meant the cold didn’t affect me as much as it did humans. I would be comfortable.
“Are you ready to go? We should leave now to be on time.”
I took a deep breath and blew it out, butterflies suddenly erupting in my stomach.
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
***
We stood at Harper’s front door, hesitant to ring the bell. I could hear excited chatter inside, and thanks to my heightened senses, smell the food that was cooking. It seemed so cozy and I envied this experience Harper had been enjoying all her life. Suddenly, I was eager to join the party inside. When I caught Molly’s eye, she nodded. I pressed the button next to the door handle and listened to it chime throughout the house. There was a lull in the conversation and then rapid steps. The door opened and Harper’s smile greeted us.
“Oh, I’m so happy you actually came! And oh my God, you both look freakin’ gorgeous! Wow!”
I preened a bit under Harper’s compliments. Molly also seemed flattered.
“Harper, you’re positively a goddess.” The respect in Molly’s voice made Harper stand up a little taller.
“Really? You think so?” And she twirled for us. Molly was right—she looked amazing. Her long black waves hung loose around her face. She was wearing a black-and-white, retro, fifties-style dress that you would only see in old magazines and movies made for the time period. It was belted and flared out into a full skirt that hit right at her knees. But instead of classic heels, she wore knee high black boots. It was a mix of modern and vintage that I never would have thought of. But she pulled it off in a way that made me believe everyone would start copying her if she wore it to school.
“You’re iconic.” Molly’s admiration was pure and I knew Harper saw it as the highest praise.
She smiled and grabbed our hands, pulling us inside. “Mom! Dad! They’re here!”
Nerves exploded in my stomach. I didn’t know what to expect as all the fears I had earlier rushed back over me in a suffocating wave.
Once I passed the door, I looked around. It was still the same house I’d seen a number of times, but tonight it looked different. There were touches here and there celebrating autumn, gatherings of friends, and love of family. She motioned us to the living room and I almost dropped my jaw at the transformation. Lit candles gave a soft glow to the room. The mantel was lightly draped with a garland of leaves; deep oranges, brown, and burgundy tones set a cozy mood that made me want to sink right down in one of the leather couches and take a nap. Pictures of Harper and her parents were placed within the garland amid small orange pumpkins and a large wooden HOME sign. Throw pillows with various messages of giving thanks and love of family dotted the leather couches and chairs. Harper’s mom had even strewn twinkle lights over the entryway from the living room into the kitchen and dining area. Molly breathed a soft “Wow” next to me. We had never seen something like this and it blew our minds.
“Guys,” Harper beckoned us.
We obediently followed her into the kitchen where it seemed most of the action was. There were five people here, all looking expectantly at us, waiting for Harper’s introductions.
“Mom, Dad, I’d like you to meet my friends.” She gestured toward me. “This is Sadie. You’ve heard me talk about her a lot.” She then turned to face Molly. “And this is Molly, a new friend I’m grateful to have.” Then she addressed us both. “Guys, please meet my mom, Sylvia, and my dad, Charles, but you can call him Charlie.”
Sylvia came in for a hug and embraced me tight. She did the same with Molly. “I’m so happy to meet you and thankful you are here to celebrate Thanksgiving with us. So, make yourselves at home. There are drinks on the table over there. Sodas and sparkling water.” She withdrew from us and turned to peek inside the oven.
Charles shook each of our hands with some quiet words about being welcome. It was obvious Sylvia had the more dominant personality of the two.
Harper’s laugh caught my attention. She’d gone over to talk with the other three guests. Before I had time to wonder who they were, Harper turned and waved in their direction. “Sadie, Molly, this is my uncle Thomas, Aunt Freesia, and my very dear cousin, Sage.”
“Girls, lovely to meet you,” Aunt Freesia said coolly. She was dressed in a skirt and blouse that screamed vintage to me. Her hair was styled and sprayed in place and her makeup was perfect, if not a little harsh. Thomas bowed his head at us before resuming his conversation with Charles. They were talking about football, anticipating a big game later on.
Sylvia wiped her hands on the apron she wore around her waist. It had the cutout of a turkey and said, “Q: Why did the turkey join the band? A: Because it had the drumsticks.” I snickered at the joke, amused at the whimsy of it amid the more elegant holiday decorations. Sylvia caught me looking and laughing, and threw me a wink. My nerves settled a bit. I already felt at home with her.
Molly, Harper, and Sage were busy talking in the corner of the kitchen. Before joining them, I decided I was thirsty for a soda and went over to the side table to pour it. Sylvia had put out stemmed glasses with autumn leaves hand-painted on them. She even had a matching ice bucket. More fall leaves lay scattered across the table, and when I opened the ice bucket to fill my glass, I was shocked at the little ice pumpkins it contained. They had gone all out for this gathering. Carefully, I grabbed a few with the tongs, plopped them into my glass, and reached for a Dr. Pepper. All set with my drink, I wandered to the other girls.
“Sadie, I was telling Molly how happy I am you’re here.”
“Me, too.”
“We still have a few other people arriving soon. Some neighbors down the street that don’t do anything themselves to celebrate, so they join us.”
Molly inhaled deeply. “What is that smell? It’s delicious.”
Harper laughed. “It could be any number of things. Mom’s cooking a turkey, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, all kinds of yummy stuff. You’re going to love it.”
For the first time since meeting her, I heard Sage speak. Her voice was sort of deep, with a little rasp to it. It didn’t seem to go with the way she looked, which was pretty, but boring. “Aunt Sylvia is a great cook. You’ll eat everything so fast, you won’t realize you overdid it until it’s too late.”
“Yeah, you do have to pace yourself a bit. Pies. It’s the pies that get me every time,” Harper moaned, patting her stomach.
All the talk of food made me hungry. The others slipped into a conversation about boys and Sage started gushing about her new boyfriend. “He’s so divine, I can’t stand it! You wouldn’t believe your eyes if you saw him.”
“What’s his name?” Molly asked.
“Paul. It’s an old-fashioned name, but he has this old soul type of vibe, like he’s lived a life before this one that was in the limelight and part of the aristocracy.” She giggled while pulling out her phone. “Here are pictures. Isn’t he gorgeous?”
Molly and Harper obediently looked and made vague approving sounds. I took that to mean he wasn’t all that and started to tune out.
But the next question snapped me to attention.
“What about you, cuz? I haven’t heard you talking about a boyfriend in years.” Sage had her head tilted toward Harper and something about Harper’s expression intrigued me. She looked unsure of herself.
We waited, but she didn’t say anything. I watched her carefully. She was playing with her fingers and I could see her heartbeat quickly pulsing in her neck. She was nervous and I couldn’t figure out why.
“Harper, you good? You know you can tell us. But you don’t have to say anything, either.” I reached a hand out to touch her arm, to help convey my message. I didn’t understand why she would be scared to say anything unless she was simply embarrassed by the person.
Harper looked at Molly and turned to me. “I know I can say anything to y’all. And Sage. You three have my back, I know that. But it doesn’t stop the fear.”
I let my mind wander over the past year and suddenly had an inkling I knew what she was about to say.
“Fear of what?” Molly asked.
But the doorbell rang again, and Harper looked almost relieved to have to go answer it. We heard voices in the foyer: exclamations of excitement and rounds of “Happy Thanksgiving!” before a group of people trooped into the room. Harper’s parents each took a turn shaking hands and giving hugs before they finally introduced them to the rest of us.
“Everyone, please meet the Carters from down the street. This is Melissa and James and their two kids, Katie and Todd.” Everyone lifted hands in greeting, smiles and genuine enjoyment on their faces. Katie looked to be about twelve or thirteen while Todd seemed a few years younger. There was a slight tension between the two and I wondered if they had just finished receiving the standard Mom Speech: “Be on your best behavior and don’t embarrass us!” I muffled a laugh at the thought. I’d been the recipient of many of those through the years with the twins and Nate.
Melissa handed a covered dish to Sylvia with a smile. “I made a pumpkin pie this year. I hope it’s okay.”
“Oh, yum! This’ll be delicious next to the other desserts! I can’t wait to try it.” Sylvia walked it into the adjacent dining room before returning. She glanced at her husband, who was busy talking more football with James, before clapping her hands together and announcing, “Dinner’s ready! Everyone, get your drinks and find a seat!”
There was a hustle and bustle of movement as the room suddenly filled with people all trying to make drinks at once. Thankful I already had one, I waited by the entry to the dining room and tried to stay out of the way. I let the hum of people talking and the sounds of laughter flow over me like a waterfall. It was so nice to be included in a group of people who were all different but came together like this to celebrate friendship and family. At one point, Sylvia or Charles must have turned on music, because it rose and fell in the background as a perfect accompaniment to the steady sound of people enjoying themselves.
Once Harper and Molly had their sodas and water, we entered the dining room. I gasped in amazement. I’d never seen a room so lovely before. A long table stood in the center of the space, with two smaller tables pushed together at one end. At each seat, there was a formal table setting. A swath of fabric in gold, orange, and red plaid ran down the center of each table with flickering candles spaced every two place settings. Glass-blown pumpkins were placed on each end of the table runner. The silverware and china gleamed in the soft light. Mesmerized, I barely noticed when Harper took my arm gently and led me to the smaller of the two tables. Molly and Sage were already seated, waiting for us.
After I was seated, I continued to gaze around the room. I hadn’t noticed upon first glance, but there was a sideboard table along the length of one wall where all the food sat. More glass pumpkins and candles stood among the serving dishes. Gradually, the chatter softened before the room grew quiet. Charles, situated at one end of the main table, rose and offered up his glass to the room.
“Today is a day set aside for valuing our relationships with family and friends.” His quiet words were like an arrow piercing me directly through the heart and I listened to the hums of agreement as everyone nodded and smiled. He continued. “I am grateful for my family and thankful for our friends. My wish tonight is that everyone is as blessed as we are. Happy Thanksgiving and let’s eat!”
The room erupted in cheers and laughter, but I sat still, absorbing the atmosphere of warmth and inclusion. My house had never had this. I’d never felt particularly cherished and valued the way I did tonight. We’d never decorated for anything before. My thoughts drifted from memories of my childhood to wondering what my birth parents were doing. Were they celebrating like this? Were they surrounded with laughter and friendship and love? Did their house feel like a home? A tear slipped down my cheek as I realized all the things I’d missed out on and accepted my fears of never finding my place, my fit, in the future.
“Are you okay?” Harper had leaned close to me, noticing my stillness. “You look sad.”
I shook my head. “I’m okay,” I whispered back.
“We’ll talk later,” she said.
I nodded to show her I agreed, but I was busy looking at the food being passed around the table. Dish after dish passed through hands eagerly serving themselves. My stomach growled, but fortunately the room was full of different conversations and nobody noticed. When the first platter reached me, I took a few slices of the turkey. Next came cranberry sauce, which I was a little unsure about.
Harper noticed my hesitation. “Take some, it’s super good. Sweet and tart and it’s fantastic if you eat it in the same bite as the turkey.”
I took her advice and spooned a small amount onto my plate. I continued taking small portions of everything offered, determined to try it all and make the most of this experience. I tried the turkey and cranberry combination first and closed my eyes in bliss as I savored the flavors.
“See? I told you.” Her voice sounded smug.
For the next ten minutes, I ate. Molly looked almost as entranced as I was with the food. Sage and Harper talked quietly since our mouths were full every time they started a conversation with us. It was embarrassing, but you couldn’t blame me.
I was nearing a food coma when I noticed Katie and Todd having a rather intense, but quiet argument. It looked as if Katie was going to cry and Todd had caused it. I tried not to look like I was watching when their mother gave them the patented Mom Warning Look. I smiled and looked down at my plate. That was the one familiar thing about this whole night.
***
When we arrived back at my house, Molly shut off the car and twisted in her seat toward me.
“You were weird all throughout dinner. What’s up?”
What’s up?
I didn’t say anything right away. How was I supposed to tell her, my perfect vampire best friend, that I felt more alone now than I ever had before? And that the more I tapped into my human emotions and saw and experienced the human world, the more lost I became?
“It was an overwhelming night. I enjoyed myself, but it was also eye-opening how”—I searched for the right word, but there was nothing—“close they were,” I finished at last. Molly would try to get it, and to some extent she would, but she was pure vampire. Even though she loved me and would do anything for me, it didn’t mean she had the same feelings for humans in general. Our little circle, Harper, Maddie, and I, were her world and she’d do anything to protect us. But anybody else would never see that side of her.
She searched my face, looking for the things I didn’t say. “Come on, Sadie,” she murmured softly. “I will understand. Please give me a chance.” Her expression and the extra brightness of unshed tears in her eyes told me she was suffering, too. My neck and shoulders tightened, sending a shooting pain into my upper back where it settled into a deep ache.
I took a breath and tried again. “I don’t feel like I belong in my family anymore, if I ever really did. I-I keep thinking about my birth parents. My birth parents. What they’re doing
now. What they are like. Will I ever get to meet them?” I sighed, trying to get the words right so she’d understand. “I’m an outsider in the vampire world. That’s always been true. And to an extent, I’m an outsider in the human world, too. But if I had to claim myself as something, if I had to choose between the two worlds…” My voice dropped to where it was barely audible. “I’d choose human.” I looked up at her, a little scared of what I’d see in her face.
Molly was crying, not merely a few tears, but all-out bawling. She tried to talk, but nothing was coming out.
“Shh, Mol, it’s okay.”
She lurched forward and threw her arms around me, hugging me so tight I thought one of my ribs would crack. She sobbed into my shoulder and squeezed me to her like she never wanted to let go. I rubbed a hand in a circular motion on her back, periodically shushing her and making comforting sounds. Minutes ticked by. Eventually, her crying lessened until she was quiet but with a case of hiccups. I stroked her hair, soft and glossy, pushing it away from her face. “Shh,” I said, still patting circles on her back. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
I held her until her breathing steadied. Finally, she released her agonizing grip on me and pulled back slightly.
“Feel better?” I asked.
“Yeah.” She took a deep breath in through her nose and released it slowly through her mouth. “I did not expect that to happen. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, no apologizing! Uh-uh, I want none of that from you.” I lifted her chin slightly with one finger so that she was looking directly into my eyes. “No. Apologies. Ever. Understand?”
She nodded and pulled back a bit more, wiping her tears away until only two large black smudges were left around her eyes. She glanced in the rearview mirror and groaned. “Waterproof, my butt.”
I laughed. “Don’t worry, you’re still beautiful.” I patted her head. “Want to talk about that?” I tilted my head to indicate her crying spell.
She gave a huge sigh. “It’s been building up for a while, I guess. I’ve sensed your internal struggle. Watched you even when you didn’t realize it. And I’ve also watched you flourish after you started human school. You’re more relaxed. Confident in yourself. I don’t hear you say self-hate stuff anymore. It makes me so happy to see you happy. But I…” She stopped and closed her eyes, repeating her deep breathing exercise a few more times. “I guess I’m scared of losing you, too. You have Cam, who’s human. Harper, who grew up human. And Maddie, too. Who is, once again, human. So, I don’t feel like I fit into your life anymore and I don’t know how to deal with it.”