Three Plays: The Young Lady from Tacna, Kathie and the Hippopotamus, La Chunga

by Mario Vargas Llosa

  (JOSEFINO checks EL MONO, as he is about to collect the money he’s won.)

  JOSEFINO: The money stays on the table. (The three superstuds look at him in amazement.)

  EL MONO: If you want to carry on losing? Be my guest, mate. Go on, make yourself rich then, if you can. The money’s there. All six hundred sols of it. Anyone else betting?

  JOSEFINO: No just me.

  (He takes more money out of his pocket, counts it ostentatiously, places it slowly and theatrically in the kitty.)

  There you are. Six hundred. The Gallinacera versus the Mangacheria.

  LITUMA: Holy shit, he must have robbed a bank or something.

  JOSEFINO: We leave that sort of thing to street arabs like you; we may be scavengers, in the Gallinacera, but we’re not thieves.

  JOSE: Don’t kid yourself, Josefino. It’s the worst district in Piura.

  LITUMA: What with the slaughterhouse and the carcasses all over the road, and the flies and the vultures – I wouldn’t brag about it too much, if I were you.

  JOSEFINO: At least we’ve got tarmac streets and toilets. You lot haven’t even got that. Nothing but donkeys and beggars. Everyone shits on the floor beside the bed. I don’t know why I have anything to do with people like you. Any day now I’ll even start to smell like you into the bargain. Hold it, Mono, don’t throw those dice yet. Mechita, here, come and bring me some luck.

  (MECHE approaches the table, at the same time as LA CHUNGA, who is carrying two more beers; JOSEFINO puts his arm round MECHE’s waist and kisses her salaciously and ostentatiously on the mouth, forcing her to lower her face. The superstuds laugh, drink and applaud. LA CHUNGA looks on, her eyes shining.)

  Right, Mono. Now throw those dice.

  JOSE: (To JOSEFINO) You know what they say, don’t you? Lucky in love, unlucky at cards.

  EL MONO: (Throwing the dice) There they go, and this little superstud’s a rich man.

  JOSEFINO: (Happy, exuberant) Two ones. Start to dig your grave, Mono. (To JOSE) You’ve got the wrong saying, mate. It’s ‘Lucky in love, luckier at cards’. Here’s to Mechita for bringing me such good fortune. Thank you, my little one.

  (He forces her to lower her head again and kisses her. In doing so, he looks askance at LA CHUNGA as if making fun of her.) Cheers, Chunguita.

  (LA CHUNGA doesn’t answer him. She goes back to the bar.)

  EL MONO: (Stretching out his hand to JOSEFINO) I must congratulate you. It takes guts to bet the whole bank after eight straight runs. You may be from the Gallinacera, but you certainly deserve to be a superstud.

  JOSE: (Mischievously) Did you see Chunga’s face when Josefino was kissing you, Mechita? Her eyes were popping out of her head.

  LITUMA: She was dying of envy.

  JOSEFINO: (Raising his voice) Do you hear what these buggers are saying about you, Chunga?

  LA CHUNGA: What?

  JOSEFINO: That when I was kissing Meche, your eyes were popping out of your head. That you were dying of envy.

  LA CHUNGA: They’re probably right. Who wouldn’t feel envious of a woman like that?

  (Laughter and shouting from the superstuds.)

  JOSEFINO: And you haven’t even seen her in the buff, Chunguita. Her body’s even better than her face. Isn’t that right, Meche?

  MECHE: Be quiet, Josefino.

  LA CHUNGA: I’ve no doubt for once in your life you’re telling the truth.

  JOSEFINO: Of course I am. Lift up your skirt, love. Show her your legs, just to give her an idea.

  MECHE: (Pretending to be more embarrassed than she is) Oh, Josefino, the things you say.

  (JOSEFINO speaks with an assurance that shouldn’t be brusque, but which barely conceals his superiority. He relishes his authority in front of his friends.)

  JOSEFINO: (Raising his voice a little) Listen to me. If you and I aren’t going to fall out with each other, you’d better do what I say. Show her your legs.

  MECHE: (Pretending to protest, though in fact enjoying the game) You’re so moody and bossy at times, Josefino.

  (She lifts up her skirt and shows her legs. The superstuds cheer.)

  JOSEFINO: (Laughing) What do you think of them, Chunga?

  LA CHUNGA: Not bad.

  JOSEFINO: (Bristling with arrogance) You see. I could make her strip stark naked in front of you and nothing would happen – because you’re my mates. We trust each other, eh Chunga?

  (He begins to gather up the money he’s just won from the pool.)

  EL MONO: Hold it. Only cowards draw their money out while there are people still keen to play.

  JOSEFINO: You want to go for the bank? It’s one thousand, two hundred sols, Mono. Have you got it?

  (EL MONO searches his pockets, takes out all the money he has and counts it.)

  EL MONO: I’ve got five hundred. I’ll owe you the seven hundred.

  JOSEFINO: You can’t borrow money in the middle of a game, it’s bad luck. (Gripping him by the wrist) Wait. That’s what your watch is for. I’ll take it instead of the seven hundred.

  LITUMA: Your watch is worth more than that.

  EL MONO: (Taking off his watch, and putting it with his five hundred sols in the pool) But I’m going to win, aren’t I, for God’s sake? All right, Josefino, throw those dice and please … lose.

  (JOSEFINO pushes MECHE towards the bar.)

  JOSEFINO: Go and keep Chunga company. I’m going to win that money and the watch, you’ll see. With the dice in my hand, I don’t need you to bring me luck, I make my own luck.

  JOSE: Be careful Chunga doesn’t try to seduce you, Mechita. You’ve almost driven her crazy.

  MECHE: (Revealing a somewhat morbid curiosity, in a whisper) Is she one of those?

  LITUMA: We didn’t know she was till now. We thought she was probably sexless.

  JOSE: But ever since she saw you, she’s completely lost her cool. She’s given herself away: she’s a dike.

  MECHE: Is she really?

  JOSEFINO: Ears burning, are they, Chunga? If you knew what they were saying about you, you’d brain the lot of them – you’d never let them set foot in here again.

  LA CHUNGA: What are they saying?

  JOSEFINO: José says you’ve gone all crazy since you saw Mechita, he says that you’ve given yourself away, that you’re a dike and Meche wants to know if it’s true or not.

  MECHE: It’s a lie, Chunga, don’t believe him. You are a bastard, Josefino.

  LA CHUNGA: Let her come and ask me. I’ll tell her in private. (The superstuds laugh and joke.)

  JOSEFINO: (To MECHE) Go on, my little one. Flirt with her a little, give her a thrill.

  EL MONO: Are you going to throw those dice, Josefino?

  (MECHE goes towards the bar where LA CHUNGA is standing.)

  Women and Dikes

  MECHE: (Confused) Surely you didn’t believe him, did you? You know Josefino’s always joking. I didn’t say that about you. Really.

  LA CHUNGA: Oh, don’t worry. I don’t give a damn what people say about me. They can say what they like. (Shrugs her shoulders). If that’s what amuses them, then let them. Just so long as I don’t hear.

  MECHE: Don’t you care if they say nasty things about you?

  LA CHUNGA: The only thing I care about is that they don’t fight and they pay for what they drink. Provided they behave and don’t try and cheat me, they can say what they damned well like.

  MECHE: Don’t you even care if they say you’re … that?

  LA CHUNGA: A dike? (Takes hold of MECHE’s arm.) And what if I were? Am I frightening you?

  MECHE: (With a nervous little laugh; we are not sure whether she means what she says or not.) I don’t know. I’ve never met a real dike before. I know there are supposed to be so many about, but I’ve never seen a single one. (Looks LA CHUNGA over.) I always imagined them to be butch and ugly. You’re not like that at all.

  LA CHUNGA: What am I like?

  MECHE: A little hard perhaps. But I imagine you have to be to run a place like this what wi
th all the drunks and strange types that come in. But you’re not ugly. If you tidied yourself up a bit, you’d look quite attractive, beautiful even. Men would like you.

  LA CHUNGA: (With a dry little laugh) I’m not interested if men like me or not. But you are, aren’t you? It’s the one thing in life that you care about, isn’t it? Tidying yourself up, putting on make-up, making yourself look pretty. Anything to excite them, to titillate them. Isn’t that it?

  MECHE: Surely that’s just being a woman?

  LA CHUNGA: No. That’s being an idiot.

  MECHE: Then all women are idiots.

  LA CHUNGA: Most of them are. That’s why they get what they deserve. They let themselves be abused, they become slaves. For what? To be thrown on the rubbish tip like cast-off rags when their men get tired of them.

  (Pause. She strokes MECHE’s face again.)

  I hate to think what might happen to you when Josefino gets tired of you.

  MECHE: He’ll never get tired of me. I’ll always know how to keep him happy.

  LA CHUNGA: Yes. I’ve noticed. By letting him twist you round his little finger. Aren’t you ashamed to let him boss you around like that?

  MECHE: I enjoy doing whatever he asks me to do. For me, that’s love.

  LA CHUNGA: So you’d do anything that poor sod asked you to do?

  MECHE: For as long as I’m in love with him, yes. Anything. (Pause. LA CHUNGA watches her in silence. She reveals, in spite of herself, a certain admiration for her. They are both distracted by the row the superstuds are making.)

  A pledge

  EL MONO: (Euphorically, gathering fustfuls of banknotes in his hands) Jesus Christ. This is classic. Pinch me somebody, for heaven’s sake, so I know I’m not dreaming.

  JOSE: (Giving JOSEFINO a slap on the back) The game hasn’t finished yet, Mono. Leave the money on the table.

  EL MONO: What are you going to go on betting with? You’ve already lost two thousand sols, your watch and your pen. What more have you got, for Christ’s sake?

  (Pause. JOSEFINO looks from one side to the other. He watches LA CHUNGA and MECHE for a moment. Then, resolutely, he gets to his feet.)

  JOSEFINO: I have got something more.

  (He strides firmly towards LA CHUNGA. He has the expression of a man prepared to go to any length to satisfy his whim.) I need three thousand sols to stay in the game, Chunguita.

  LA CHUNGA: Over my dead body! You know perfectly well I never lend a cent to anyone.

  JOSEFINO: I’ve got something worth more than those three thousand sols I’m asking you for.

  (He grips MECHE round the waist.)

  MECHE: (Taking it half as a joke, without knowing quite how to react) What are you saying?

  (LA CHUNGA bursts out laughing. JOSEFINO remains very serious. The superstuds have gone quiet; they crane their necks forward, intrigued by what is happening.)

  JOSEFINO: (Holding MECHE against him as if he owned her) You heard. You love me, don’t you? And I love you too. That’s why I’m asking this of you. Didn’t you swear you’d always do anything I wanted? Right then, now you’re going to prove it to me.

  MECHE: (Open-mouthed and incredulous) But, but … have you gone mad? Do you know what you’re saying? Or have those beers gone to your head?

  JOSEFINO: (To LA CHUNGA) You can’t fool me, Chunga. I know you’ve been drooling over Meche ever since you first set eyes on her. So what about it?

  EL MONO: Holy shit. He means it. D’you realize, superstuds?

  JOSE: Christ, he’s selling her to her. It’s as simple as that.

  LITUMA: You might as well buy her yourself, Mono. Or isn’t Mechita worth those three thousand sols?

  JOSEFINO: (Without taking his eyes off LA CHUNGA; still with his arm round MECHE) No. I wouldn’t lend her to Mono, not for all the tea in China. Nor to any other man, for that matter. (Kissing MECHE) It would make me jealous. I’d rip the guts out of anyone who so much as laid a finger on her. (To LA CHUNGA) But I’m not jealous of you. I’ll lend her to you all right, because I know that you’ll give her back to me – intact.

  MECHE: (Snivelling, bewildered and exasperated) Let go of me. I want to get out of here. You miserable sod. You miserable sod.

  JOSEFINO: (Letting go of her) You can go. But don’t ever come back. Because if you go now, Meche, you’d be betraying me. I’d never forgive you for letting me down when I most needed you.

  MECHE: But, Josefino, do you realize what you’re asking me to do? What do you think I am?

  LA CHUNGA: (To MECHE, sardonically) You see, so you wouldn’t just do anything that crook asked you, after all.

  JOSEFINO: (Clutching MECHE) Did you really say that? Did you? Then it is true. (Kisses MECHE.) I love you, Meche. You and I will always be together, for as long as we both live. Don’t cry, silly. (To LA CHUNGA) Well, what about it then?

  (LA CHUNGA has become very serious. Long pause.)

  LA CHUNGA: Let her say it herself, in her own words, that she accepts. Let her say that from now until the first light of dawn she’ll do anything I want.

  JOSEFINO: (To MECHE) Don’t let me down. I need you. She won’t do anything to you. She’s a woman. What can she do to you? Say it.

  (Trance-like pause. The superstuds and LA CHUNGA watch MECHE’s inner conflict. She stretches out her arms and looks from one to the other.)

  MECHE: (To LA CHUNGA, stammering) I’ll do anything you want until the first light of dawn.

  (LA CHUNGA goes to fetch the money from under the bar. JOSEFINO whispers something into MECHE’s ear and caresses her. The superstuds start to recover from the shock. LA CHUNGA hands the money to JOSEFINO.)

  EL MONO: Bloody hell, I really don’t believe this. I don’t believe my eyes.

  LITUMA: I could even marry a woman like that.

  JOSE: Shit. This calls for us to sing the old song again. For Mechita. She deserves it.

  EL MONO: The song, superstuds – and a toast in honour of Mechita.

  EL MONO, LITUMA and JOSE: (Singing)

  We are the superstuds.

  We don’t want to work.

  All we want is a little bit of skirt.

  Drinking, gambling all night long,

  In Chunga’s bar where we belong.

  Wine, women and song –

  Wine, women and song.

  In Chunga’s bar where we belong.

  And now we’re going to drink a toast

  To you, Mechita.

  (They raise their beer glasses to MECHE and drink. LA CHUNGA takes MECHE by the hand and leads her towards her room. They both go up the small staircase. JOSEFINO, counting his money, returns to the gambling table.)

  ACT TWO

  The superstuds

  As the curtain goes up, the actors are in exactly the same position as they were at the beginning of the first act. We are now in the present – a long time after the episode with MECHE. The superstuds are playing dice at the table, beneath a lamp which is hanging from a beam, while LA CHUNGA, in her rocking chair, passes the time by gazing into space. In the coolness of the night, the sounds of the city can be heard in the distance: crickets chirp, there is the occasional noise of a car, a dog barks, a donkey brays.

  JOSE: I’m dying to know what Chunga did that night with Meche; how much do you think it would take to get her to tell me?

  LITUMA: She’ll never tell you. Not even for a million sols. Forget it, José.

  JOSEFINO: If I wanted her to, she would. For free.

  EL MONO: We know what a naughty boy you are, Josefino, you great crook.

  JOSEFINO: I’m not joking. (Takes out his knife and holds it so that it glints in the light of the lamp.) Chunga may be pretty tough, but there’s no man or woman alive who wouldn’t squeal like a parrot with this at his throat.

  EL MONO: D’you hear that, Chunga?

  LA CHUNGA: (With her usual detachment) Hurry up and finish those beers. I’m about to close.

  JOSEFINO: Don’t be frightened, Chunguita. I’d make you tell me what ha
ppened that night if I felt like it. But I don’t feel like it. So you can stuff your little secret. I don’t want to know. I don’t give a damn about Meche. She could be dead for all I care. I’ve yet to meet the woman who’d make me run after her.

  (JOSE has stood up. He moves slowly towards LA CHUNGA’s rocking chair, staring straight ahead of him, gaping slightly, as if walking in his sleep. The superstuds appear not to have noticed him. Throughout the following scene, they behave as if he were still sitting in the empty seat: they clink glasses with him, take his bets, pass him the dice, slap him on the back and joke with him.)

  JOSE: (His voice is dry and feverish) Nobody knows about it, Chunga, but something in my life changed that night. (Hits himself on the head.) I can still see it all, as if it were happening now. Everything you said and everything Meche said – I remember it all so very clearly. When you took her by the arm and led her over there, to your room, my heart was beating so hard, I thought it would leap out of my chest. (Takes LA CHUNGA’s hand to his chest.) Here, feel it now. See how strongly it’s beating. As if it were bursting to get out. That’s what happens, whenever I think of the two of you up there.

  (LA CHUNGA’s lips move as if she were saying something. JOSE leans over in an attempt to hear what it is, but regrets it immediately and draws back. For a few moments LA CHUNGA carries on mouthing the same words in silence. When she finally articulates, her voice is strangely subdued.)

  LA CHUNGA: You’re a wanker, José.

  JOSE: (Anxiously, impatiently, pointing towards the little room) Please, please, tell me, Chunguita. What happened? What was it like?

  LA CHUNGA: (Lecturing him, but not severely – as if to a naughty child) It’s not real women you like, José. Not women of flesh and blood, at least. The ones you really like are the ones you keep up here, in your mind – (Touching his head as if caressing it) – but they’re only memories, fantasies, ghosts from the past that live in your imagination, they don’t really exist. Am I right, José?