Birthday Blues

by Karen English

  Deja sits back to admire her work. She can't help but smile. She thinks of Monday morning, when everyone will bring in their neighborhood maps. She thinks of all the kids gathered around her and Nikki's map—and of the oohs and aahs and the secret disappointments about their own less beautiful maps. She pictures the maps on the thin newsprint that Ms. Shelby passed out to those who said they wouldn't be able to get poster board. She smiles, thinking about how great theirs will look in comparison.

  Just then Nikki and Deja hear a low rumble. It grows louder, and they look up in time to see Antonia skating past. As she glides by, she squats down into a sitting position, then turns to look at Deja, without expression. Immediately, she's standing up again, skating off down the street. Nikki and Deja stare at her.

  "Why'd she give me that mean look?" Deja asks.

  "She didn't give you a mean look," Nikki says.

  "She did, too."

  "Maybe she knows about your birthday party. Maybe she's mad 'cause she's not invited."

  "But she is invited. Auntie's making me." Deja purses her lips together. "Showoff. I can do that!" she says, though she just learned to skate two months before.

  Nikki quietly goes back to their map. Deja begins working on the pond at Miller's Park. Miller's Park is where she had her last birthday party. She liked it because the pond has ducks. She remembers feeding those ducks with her daddy there a long time ago.

  3. Presentations

  "You can carry the map to Marburn, then I can carry it the rest of the way to school," Deja says as Nikki comes down her porch steps on Monday with their map rolled up and held by a rubber band.

  "Why do you get to carry it to school?"

  "'Cause you got to have it last night."

  "But I kept it rolled up."

  "Come on, Nikki. It's almost my birthday. Plus I was the one who made sure we had a map key and a compass rose."

  "It's been almost your birthday for the last two weeks. And I was the one who remembered the map scale."

  Deja ignores this. "When it's almost your birthday, you keep saying it, too."

  "Not like you."

  Deja thinks about this. Then she remembers her ring. "It's time to give back my ring, anyway"

  Nikki looks at her hand as if she's forgotten that Deja's ring is on her finger. She sighs, licks her finger, and slips it off.

  Antonia and her daddy drive by just as Nikki and Deja turn the corner to Carver Elementary. Dyamond and Ayanna race over.

  "Dyamond wants to know if she can come to your birthday party" Ayanna says right in front of Dyamond. Auntie Dee had said Deja could invite every girl in her class, but she didn't say anything about the girls in Mr. Beaumont's class.

  "I have to ask" Deja says.

  Dyamond shows her extra-big permanent teeth in a kind of half smile.

  Deja watches Antonia's car pull up to the curb in front of the school. Her dad gets out, goes around the car, and opens the door for Antonia. Then they both go to the back of the car. He pops the trunk.

  "Come on, Nikki. Let's get to the line" Suddenly, Deja is anxious to show off her and Nikki's creation. She can just hear everyone's "Wow"s.

  "Put your projects on the round table" Ms. Shelby says to the entering students. Several have big poster boards, but none are as colorful as Nikki and Deja's. A few have the newsprint paper Ms. Shelby had passed out. The usual knuckleheads come in empty-handed. They have excuses, though. Ms. Shelby just holds up her palm. "Save your excuses. I'll know who hasn't turned in their map project soon enough."

  The door opens, but no one comes in. It is Antonia, holding it open for her dad. It is hard for him to get through it with Antonia's enormous map in his arms. Ms. Shelby rushes in front of him to clear books and papers off the other round table. "You can put that here" she says.

  Gently he lowers the map onto the table, then stands back, brushing his hands together. He gives Antonia a little wave and turns to leave.

  "Wow" Carlos says, letting out a low whistle. A few children drift over to Antonia's map project, then several more follow. Soon most of the class is staring down at Antonia's spectacular three-dimensional neighborhood map. It has cardboard buildings, plastic trees, and the pond at Miller's Park is made out of slightly crumpled aqua-blue plastic wrap."Wow" Carlos says again, and Deja wants to punch him.

  Deja glances at their own map under the pile of nearly identical poster-board maps. She's mortified to discover nothing very special about her and Nikki's effort, after all.

  Deja feels her mouth grow heavy. She has to concentrate on not letting it sag at the corners. She feels embarrassed. Then she feels angry. It isn't fair. She could tell by the way Antonia's dad stood back and looked down at the map that he was looking at his own handiwork. It isn't fair! Not even a little bit! Deja catches Nikki's eye and sees her looking just as unhappy.

  Ms. Shelby joins the students at the table. "My" she says. "My, my." She doesn't say anything else. Antonia stands back with a satisfied smile. She looks over at the other map projects, and Deja thinks she sees Antonia's smile turn into a smirk. It isn't fair.

  "Okay everyone" Ms. Shelby says. "Let's get to our seats. I'm so glad to see so many projects. Most of you have done such a great job."

  Antonia's smile fades a bit. Deja knows she is wondering how Ms. Shelby could lump her project in with the rest. Hers is obviously the best one. Hers is in a class by itself.

  "Antonia has the best map," Carlos says from his seat behind Deja's.

  "Her daddy helped her," Deja says over her shoulder. "I bet you he did it all."

  "You're just jealous," Carlos says calmly. Deja wants to punch him, again. She remembers that Carlos is always saying things that make her want to punch him. Like the time he teased her for sucking her thumb. They were watching a film about the disappearing rain forest, and she had simply forgotten she was at school. Before she knew it, Carlos was laughing out loud and pointing. Too late. She yanked her thumb out of her mouth, but not before several other kids saw her. "Deja sucks her thumb! Deja sucks her thumb," someone started chanting. It was a playground chant for days. Until finally kids forgot about it. Or maybe they just stored it away, and the least little thing could make them remember.

  "Why should I be jealous of someone who can't even do her own map project?"

  "You're just jealous," he says again.

  Deja fumes.

  It's okay," Deja says, referring to Antonia's project. Deja and Nikki are sitting at the lunch table, sharing Deja's celery sticks and peanut butter.

  Nikki licks the peanut butter completely off hers. "Antonia's is better than ours."

  "It's not better. It's different."

  "It's better," Nikki repeats.

  "Different" Deja says again. But somehow she doesn't sound convincing, even to her own ears.

  4. Tie Map of Many Clever Features

  Map presentations begin after lunch, during Social Studies.

  "Who wants to go first?" Ms. Shelby asks in her encouraging tone. She always sounds like a cheerleader when it is time for project presentations.

  Deja's hand shoots up before Ms. Shelby even gets the question completely out. "We want to go first, Ms. Shelby" Deja says.

  Nikki gives her a questioning look. Deja knows Nikki hates this part of a project—getting up in front of everyone to present it. But she ignores Nikki.

  "Great!" Ms. Shelby says. She is probably happy that she doesn't have to "volunteer" anyone.

  Deja retrieves their map from the round table and marches up to the front of the class. Nikki gets out of her seat slowly and follows, looking miserable.

  "Nikki's going to hold the map, and I'm going to explain it." Deja hands the map to Nikki, who looks relieved. She won't have to talk.

  "Nikki and I live next door to each other," Deja says, pointing to their two houses. "As you all know." She proceeds to point out Vianda's house across the street, and Keyon Denver's house (he plays football at the junior college) next door, and Auntie Dee's f
riend Phoebe's house, and Miss Ida's house and Mr. D's store on the corner of Maynard Street, where they buy their hot chips. She shows them the junkyard and Simply Delicious Health Food Store, Puerto Nuevo Restaurant, Sir Galahad Cleaners, and Perfect Beauty Hair Salon and Nail Emporium. (Deja especially likes the word "emporium" She likes that it's a word her whole class has probably never had the occasion to say. They probably don't even know what it means.) She and Nikki had put Antonia's house on their map because they'd included all the houses, but she doesn't mention it now.

  When Deja pauses to take a breath, Ms.Shelby steps forward. "My, Deja! You and Nikki live in a great neighborhood. But you need to wrap it up so we'll have time for a few more presentations."

  Deja nods reluctantly. "Well, I just want to say that Nikki and me live in the best neighborhood on the best street in the whole wide world."

  There is a moment of silence before everyone breaks into polite applause. Deja takes the map out of Nikki's hands and returns it to the table. They both go back to their seats.

  "Who's next?" Ms. Shelby asks, clapping her hands together once.

  Ralph and Carlos raise their hands and go to get their flimsy newsprint map off the table.

  It isn't even colored, Deja notes. And the street lines haven't even been drawn with a ruler. It looks hastily made, with little care. How could they stand up there holding that half-done map? What is wrong with boys?

  But stand up there they do. Carlos holds the map, and Ralph points out their two houses, around the corner from each other, and the scribbled park with a crooked rectangle for the basketball court, and a few squares with misspelled store names on Post Boulevard. He finishes up and waits for applause.

  Ms. Shelby nods at the class, then begins clapping. Everyone follows suit, but not with much enthusiasm.

  "We'll go next, Ms. Shelby," Antonia volunteers. She looks over at her new friend, Casey, who stands up.

  "We're going to need a table to rest our map on, but we'll tilt it up so that everyone can see." Antonia flips her long braid over her shoulder, then looks directly at Deja.

  Carefully, Casey and Antonia carry the map to the table that Ms. Shelby has moved to the front of the class. Casey angles it up, and Antonia goes to the whiteboard to get Ms. Shelby's pointer—without asking.

  She points to her house, mentioning her trampoline in the backyard and that her house is a split-level. In fact, it is the only split-level house on Fulton. She points out Casey's house around the block. Then she skips over the rest of the nearby streets to the park. She takes her time then, pointing out the many clever features. The miniature park benches, the tiny rubber ducks, a layer of real sand glued around the pond. When she finishes, she looks up and waits for the applause.

  After a moment of silence, Ralph starts it off with whoops and loud clapping. One by one, other kids join the noise and hoopla until Ms. Shelby has to hold up her hand and put a finger to her lips.

  "All right, all right. We acknowledge that Antonia and Casey did a super job, but let's keep it down so we don't disturb the class next door."

  It takes some moments before the clapping dies away. Carlos seems to want to keep it going. Probably because of what Deja said about Antonia's father doing all the work.

  During recess, Ms. Shelby hangs most of the maps on the wall over the bookshelves in the class library. Deja is happy to see her and Nikki's, almost in the center. But Casey and Antonia's map has a place all its own on the round library table. Books have been cleared from the table just to give it room.

  Deja counts up the days. She only has to see Antonia's map for two and a half more weeks, and then Ms. Shelby will be handing everything back to be carted home. Deja can't wait for that day to come.

  Deja is quiet all the way home. Nikki is a chatterbox, talking about everybody's maps and comparing them to theirs. Deja thinks about Antonia's map and how her father carried it into the classroom for her. Deja wonders how it feels to have your daddy help you with a school project and then carry it into the classroom for you. She tries to picture it, but it's hard. She hasn't seen her daddy in a long time because, as Auntie Dee says, he lives far away.

  5. Staying at Miss Ida's

  As soon as Deja walks through the door after school, she comes upon Auntie Dee rushing around in a frenzy. She has a pile of laundry in her arms and she's racing toward her bedroom.

  On the bed is an open suitcase. Auntie Dee begins to throw items into it from the mound of clean clothes on her bed: pajamas, jeans, T-shirts....She runs to the closet and yanks her good dress, the one she wears to dinners and things, off the hanger. She holds it up in front of her. "Oh, well," she says and tosses it in the suitcase.

  Deja finally thinks to say, "Auntie, where are you going?"

  "Oh, baby ... I've got to go out of town for my job."

  Deja doesn't know what to think. Auntie never has to go out of town for her job.

  "Someone I work with who always goes on these trips is sick. They asked me."

  "But ... what about me?" Deja asks.

  Auntie Dee stops her packing and turns toward Deja. "Sweetie, you're going to stay at Miss Ida's."

  "Miss Ida's?" A thousand questions dance around in Deja's head. "Will I still be there for my birthday?"

  "Your birthday? No." Auntie Dee laughs. "It's just for a few days. I'll be back in plenty of time for your birthday." She snaps her fingers. "Lotion!" She focuses on Deja again. "Look, Deja, give out your invitations at school tomorrow. How about that?"

  That doesn't make it feel better. "Why can't I stay with Nikki?"

  "Because Nikki's dad is under the weather, and her mom has her hands full with him."

  Deja doesn't understand that. Why can't Nikki's daddy take care of himself? Why would a grownup have to be taken care of just for being "under the weather"?

  "We wouldn't bother Nikki's dad. I could help Nikki's mom take care of him."

  Auntie Dee looks as if her mind is on her trip. "Hmm?" She rummages in her toiletry bag. "Toothpaste," she says, going toward the bathroom.

  "Auntie, I could help out."

  "No, Deja. That won't work. Besides, you'll be good company for Miss Ida. She'll love having you."

  Deja thinks about her visits to Miss Ida's with Auntie Dee. She thinks about the doilies under the lamps and the dish of hard candy that is actually old and soft on the coffee table. She's had a piece. Plus Miss Ida keeps her drapes drawn all the time. It is so dark in her living room, she has to turn on the lamp, even during the day. Deja feels a tiny bit frightened. She's not sure if she can stay at Miss Ida's.

  "Why can't Miss Ida stay here?"

  "Well, you know, Deja, sometimes old folks like to be around their own things. I wanted to make this favor she's doing for us as easy as possible."

  Deja frowns. "When do I have to go?"

  "Tonight. I'll take you over there before Phoebe takes me to the airport."

  Deja feels her throat tighten. She pictures Auntie not getting back in time for her birthday party on Saturday. She pictures herself stuck at Miss Ida's ... forever.

  "There's my girl," Miss Ida says, throwing open her front door. "Ooh, we gonna have a ball." She scoops up Deja into a big squishy bear hug. Deja almost can't breathe.

  Deja tries to smile, but she can only manage a tiny one.

  "She's got her clothes, Miss Ida, and I packed her lunch for school tomorrow. I should be back by Friday afternoon."

  "Take your time. We'll be fine." Miss Ida squeezes Deja's shoulder. Deja wishes she could be sure she'll be fine. Her birthday is just five days away. What if Auntie doesn't get back in time?

  Auntie bends down and kisses Deja's forehead. "I'll be home before you know it." She turns to head down the steps. "Be good," she calls over her shoulder.

  Deja feels a frown plastered across her face. She stands at the door and scowls at it even after Miss Ida closes it.

  "Come on, darling. I bet you're hungry."

  No, she isn't hungry. Not even a little
bit.

  "I'll take your things, and you go on in the kitchen and have a seat. I'll be there in a minute."

  Deja walks down Miss Ida's long dark hallway toward the kitchen. Something smells funny. It hits her as soon as she enters the room and sees the table set with two place settings. She takes a whiff. It's a horrible smell. She just can't eat anything that has a smell like that. She hears Auntie Dee's voice in her head: It's impolite to turn your nose up at someone's food. You must always try to eat a little bit, just so feelings won't be hurt.

  "Now, these are my favorite vegetables, Deja," Miss Ida says as she comes into the kitchen and goes to the stove. "You like turnips?" She dishes out a plate and places it in front of Deja. Deja looks down. Fried chicken (that's good), green beans, a piece of white bread (Auntie Dee never buys white bread), and a smelly blob of turnips with watery edges. Deja swallows hard.

  Miss Ida sits down across from her. She bows her head, and Deja bows her head, too. Miss Ida says a quick blessing and Deja joins her with "Amen." She is grateful to have food, as Auntie Dee always reminds her, but it is hard to be grateful for the nasty stuff. How is she going to get it down? Will she have to eat it all?

  While she is thinking, a loud ringing fills the room. Deja looks over at the old-fashioned telephone with the funny dial. She remembers the first time she visited Miss Ida's. She and Auntie Dee had come to bring chicken soup. Miss Ida had been sick. Miss Ida's funny-looking telephone had caught Deja's eye. It had a round thing on the front with holes in it. Miss Ida had to call her friend to cancel a dinner. Deja couldn't figure out how she was going to use that funny telephone. As she watched Miss Ida dial the number, she wondered what would happen if someone was in a hurry. It was the slowest dialing phone she'd ever seen.